In this task you are given an anecdote. You must find out whether the anecdote is something the author has done or is considering doing. Label the instances as "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and label them as "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future.

I know at first glance of the title it seems obvious that, yeah, this is an asshole move. Even I was convinced that I was, in fact, The Asshole at first, but as the night went on I began to have my doubts.  So here's what happened.

Last week a big group went out for a coworker's birthday.  We have a pretty tightknit crew at my job, and there's a big group of us that goes out almost every Friday rain or shine.  The birthday boy is a regular part of that crew.  The person who planned his birthday outing is not, but she works closely with Birthday Boy and wanted to do something nice.  She's old enough to be most of Regular Crew's mom, and is friendly enough, (or so I thought?), though can be a bit sassy.  I've never had an issue before. I like her! I still do, I think, this incident nonwithstanding.  Anyway. She plans an outing into the city to go to dinner.  She asked if I wanted to come a couple weeks before, because she wants to get a number for a reservation.  I say of course, I'll be there with bells on.  Sounds cute.  She does follow up several times, to make sure she has the right number for the reservation.

Fast forward to the day of the event. As I'm getting ready to leave work, a couple buddies in Regular Crew ask if I'm going to this party.  I say yeah and ask if they want to ride together.  They do. It's me and three others in my car.  

When we arrive, Party Planner gives me side eye so hard I'm afraid they'll get stuck that way.  As the evening goes on, she continues to make a show of acting visibly annoyed.  One of the people I ride with ask me what her name is.  That's when I put two and two together and realize that the three Regular Crew buddies I brought don't know Party Planner.  They were not on her guestlist.  Considering they were already aware of the party, and that they are friends with Birthday Boy, it didn't even occur to me that they wouldn't be part of the official count.  I pull someone closer to Party Planner aside and ask if she's angry with me.  Party Planner's friend says that while she personally thinks "the more the merrier," yes, it's me Party Planner is upset with and maybe I should say something. 

I should mention that there are probably about thirty of us here, and while we do have a private room, it's very cramped.  The waitstaff doesn't bat an eye and whips out a couple more chairs, and we all scoot in and get cozy.  But at my first opportunity, as people shuffle around and a chair opens up next to Party Planner, I sit next to her and say, "Hey, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to throw off your plan or anything," and without looking up at me, all she says is, "I'm annoyed."  Yes, I'm thinking, you've made that very clear. I'm kind of at a loss for words that she wouldn't just brush it off and say "no big deal," and I awkwardly retreat back to my friends.  She continues acting bothered down at her end of the table, and apparently not being shy about rude she thinks I am to her friends at that end.  

The night goes on and people are starting to get rowdy.  I'm not one of the people on a mission to get absolutely twisted, but I have had a few.  I see Party Planner not talking to anyone, and I ask if she's having a good time.  She responds "Not as good as I could have."  Reddit, I am shook at this point! I thought a few drinks in and it would all just be smooth sailing. Everyone seems to be having a good time but her, and do feel bad about that, since she planned this and was really excited to hang out with everyone.  But again, I don't know what to say to her response.  I'm regretting going out of my way to talk to her again, feeling like maybe I rubbed salt in a wound. I confide in Birthday Boy that I am feeling like The Asshole, and he says don't be ridiculous, he's glad the people I brought are there, and that there are a bunch of random coworkers he never even talks to there, and it would be weird if those people were invited but the Regular Crew homies that just happen to not know Party Planner weren't.  

After a few hours, Party Planner and the other older coworkers start filtering out, I suppose because they have lives and kids and stuff.  The rest of us young jawns go to a bar down the street that has a lot more standing room, and enjoy each other's company well into the night.  I do hear from someone at some point that Party Planner left in tears.  The person who informed me of this was of the perspective that Party Planner felt neglected and unappreciated when she left.  But at this point I'm kind of over it, and think that if you're going to go out of your way to act miserable, you shouldn't be surprised when people don't want to sit next to you at a party.  

So thanks for reading my long-winded ass story, y'all.  I await your judgement and will gladly accept whatever outcome I get.
HISTORICAL

Alt account because friends know my real one. 

This isn't a regular "I said something or did something I shouldn't have" asshole, this is a "I know I fucked up, how much do I look like an asshole".

I'm currently a student teacher/intern for a school near my college.  Today I was supposed to substitute teach so my mentor teacher could do some work with the other school's teachers.

I set my alarm on my computer and on my phone last night to wake me up early, due to me having trouble waking up sometimes.

However, last night, a breaker in my fuse box flipped off and shut off my computer and stopped charging my phone, which then died during the night.  I woke up at 8:00 A.M (when class started) and rushed to put on clothes and bike to the school.  I got there around 8:05-8:10 and found another substitute teacher talking to my mentor teacher.  Also in the room is my college teacher who is like an overseer of our progress.

I walked in and my mentor teacher and college teacher sat down with me.  They were worried because they couldn't reach me on my phone (still was dead), and I was late, which is never like me.  

I told them what happened, that I was so sorry, and I can still be there and teach.  

My two teachers understood but thought it best for me to go home.  I argued against that, saying I'm here and I can teach, but got told to think about how to not let them happen in the future.   I walked out of the building dejected and know that the whole staff knows that I am unreliable and I messed up.

My mentor teacher and college teacher each texted me and told me not to be too hard on myself and it is okay.  

I have chronic anxiety so my morning has been sitting at home in humiliation that this happened.

Now I am trying to figure out what my next steps are, and how much do I look like an asshole and how to fix it.
HISTORICAL

So... My SO and I have been dating for just shy of a year, living together for about 6 months. I always knew she had mental issues, but she seemed to manage them to an acceptable degree, and during the first while, I didn't mind.

However, after we moved in together, especially the last 2-3 months, it's gotten... Really bad. Anxiety, depression, general mental health issues, and it's become so bad recently that it's dragging me down too. We've talked about it many times, including the possibility of getting professional help, but she refuses, she only wants to work on it herself, or at least with my help.

However... Nothing has changed, in fact, it's arguably gotten worse since we took active attempts to get better. This is where the second part comes in. Her lifelong dream is to have a family, 3 kids, a dog, suburban house, the works. I've never cared much for it, but never had much of an opinion on the matter either. However, recently, I've started to have an epiphany that I might not want that life... At all. We've discussed it before, and we agreed that I would tell her again if it became a real thing, and she would understand. Life goals change, that's just how it is. However, I'm not sure if I just, don't want that life at all, or if I don't want it with her... With all her mental health issues, I don't see her being able to be a good mother (daily anxiety attacks, caused often by disruptions in her daily rhythm... And kids aren't exactly predictable), and I'm scared I'd effectively be a single father.

Now, the dilemma is... It's true, that I don't think I want the same future she does. 90% sure, but there's still a chance. However, the main reason is her mental health. I don't think she'll get better unless she gets professional help, certainly not better enough to look after 3 kids and a home. But she's made it very clear that she will never go to a psychologist, or similar, again (bad previous experiences), and nothing I can say will change that.

So... WITBA for using the "I don't want kids after all" excuse? We've talked about it before, and she's said she'd understand, these things change sometimes. I feel like it'd be easier for her to handle than her mental health, which is a... Very touchy subject for her. On one hand, I feel she deserves to know. But on the other... It won't change anything, she won't see a professional anyways, so what does it matter?

Please do give your opinions, I'm a bit at a loss here.

tl;dr: I will probably break up with my girlfriend due to her unwillingness to seek help for her mental health issues. Should I tell her the truth, or tell her an, also true, but less so, reason?

HYPOTHETICAL

