Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, judge whether or not a specific person is wrong here. Answer 'not answerable' if more information is required and 'answerable' if all the information is sufficient to answer who is wrong in this situation.

So I (18M) work at a call center for a medical clinic. Today, I was sitting with two of my coworkers discussing work and the topic shifted to some other business ventures the company has made. The woman said “these Jews just want to make money”, in reference to the two owners, who are both Jewish and pretty well renowned in their field of medicine. While I am Jewish, I’m not very threatened or offended by this, however I feel somewhat compelled to not let this slide.

My questions is, would it be the right thing to speak to a manager about this, exposing myself as the one who told and potentially getting her in trouble, or letting it slide as an offhand comment? For context as well, I have been there 8 months and she is relatively new, so 3-4 months. She has also made many nagging comments about coworkers, patients and managers. 
not answerable

Now I'm not a particularly passive person, if I see something I think is wrong I tend to point it out. Stand up for what I think is right and all. Now when this young girl started working with us I wasn't sure where I stood with her. We have a small workforce, only about six people, so I work in a close environment with her most of the day. She can be moody and very rude and negative unless you catch her on a good day. 

Now she's about nineteen and some of her behaviour I put down to her being very immature for her age. She seems to want people to see her as this badass, edgy, straight talking person who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. I suspect she cares. And I've learned after getting to know her better that her home life is not the best, I have reasons to believe there may be some level of abuse. She told her her mother once threw an ashtray at her and punched her hard enough her face bruised, then giggled about it. I told her it wasn't alright for anyone to lay hands on her and she started crying. So I hugged her and told her if she ever felt unsafe then she could call me and I'd open my spare room to her. Since this incident I've been trying to be understanding of her sour moods and have been paying closer attention to her good qualities. She's very funny for a start, though I like blunt and sometimes harsh humour - as does everyone else in the workplace. She can be kind, when she's not trying to act macho, and she's a hard worker too. 

Well we were having a cheerful debate at work over something unrelated and this girl steps in saying we should debate other things. Then, in an act I can't help think is designed just to draw attention, flatly states that she's a racist and we should debate about that. We ask questions, obviously, and she comes away with things like "I hate Pakis. If there's a Paki on my bus I'll get off at the next stop and catch a different one." and "If one started working here I'd quit.". She also takes the time to clarify that by "Paki" (I'm sorry about the slur, I'm just quoting her) she didn't mean specifically anyone from Pakistan, but actually meant "anyone brown", namely Middle Eastern and Indian people. The first thing I said is that I think that's disgusting behaviour. She defends her opinion saying that when she was young her uncle said if she misbehaved he'd put her in a black hood and send her away to them. I argued that, though that's disturbing, it doesn't justify her words or actions. 

But everyone else was quiet and my manager tried to diffuse the situation by sort of going along with her. Basically telling her 'yeah, we know you don't give a fuck. Your opinion's your opinion, it's whatever'. She tried a few times to encourage conversation about it, saying that she doesn't care if we think she's an asshole and that she's not going to lie about what she thinks. But after a while nobody said anything, it was awkward. And again, I'm not convinced that she doesn't care what people think and part of me wonders if this is some weird, pathetic trick she's got to try and seem edgy. Either to get attention, bad or good, or to push people away. 

I can't exactly psychoanalyse her so I won't know exactly what's behind it. But it bothers me that work is just going on as normal and that everyone is joking around as normal. I've remained civil but I feel bad about laughing when she tells jokes. And the other day she was standing in the rain waiting for the place to open so I let her sit in my car with me until our boss arrived. I had to attend our works' Christmas night out and she danced with me on the floor. On one level I worry about her situation and have started getting along with her, but one part of me wants to completely disassociate from her and only speak regarding work. I already voiced my opinion, I'm not sure what else to do. 

So am I being an asshole here? Could I be doing more?
answerable

I just recently discovered this sub and thought it would be a good way to decide on something I have been struggling with for years.

Ever since I was a kid my sister was always horrible to me. She's 2 years older than me and she would always treat me like shit. Up until I was about 6, I adored her. I always wanted to be around her but she would always push me away. For example, at times she would just be playing on the computer and I would ask if I could sit in the room and play by myself so I wouldn't bother her. Then she'd hit me and yell at me until I would leave. Things like this happened on a daily basis. Eventually, I started having the same feelings towards her. I hated her and we would fight constantly. I've never been a big guy so she would always win, especially since she had 2 years on me. Basically, she made my childhood a living hell. I was also bullied a lot as a kid and she didn't do anything to stand up for me, in fact, she joined in at times. Specifically around 7th and 8th grade, I was bullied all the time because I was really small and a ginger, basically the easiest target there is. Going through puberty while being bullied by not only your classmates but also by your sister was really hard.

To give a little more background, my sister and I are polar opposites. She's an extrovert, she fit in with the popular crowd in high school and partied all the time. I'm very introverted as most of you can probably relate with. I like to stay in my room on the weekends and play video games. This was always something she used to make me feel bad. She would always call me a hermit and say I have no life. Any time she would get in trouble with my parents, she would try to take the attention off herself by bringing me up and saying things like, "look at him, all he does is sit in his room!" I always did that because I wanted nothing to do with her. I would insult her too, but rarely was I ever the first one to say something. I mainly just kept to myself so I wouldn't be her target.

Right now, I'm a senior in high school and my sister is a sophomore in college. Within the past couple years we've tried to mend our relationship. We're on a lot better terms now than when she still lived with us. My parents kind of helped with that. My mom basically had to tell my sister how horrible she was to me as a kid because up until then, my sister thought it wasn't a big deal. When she was told that, she felt really bad and has been trying to get on better terms ever since, although at times she treats me just like she did when we were kids. This has been going on for the past 2 years, ever since she moved out. I still don't like her and haven't forgiven her for what she did to me. I haven't directly expressed this to her or my parents. Whenever I try to bring it up to my mom, she just tells me to get over it, and what happened is in the past. I find it hard to get over something that is still happening though.

I don't want to make her seem worse than she is. My sister rarely treats me like shit anymore, but I think that has a lot to do with her not being around a lot. I don't talk to her often but when I do she's really nice. We go to movies together and talk a lot whenever she's home from college. Every once in a while though, she'll snap and everything will go back to when we were kids. Sometimes I snap too. I've said things that I regret, and I know my sister has too.

I know my sister really wants to be on good terms, but I don't care to. I really couldn't care less if I don't see her for another 5 years. I still do care about her since she's my sister, but I really don't like her. It's a big point of contention in our family. Whenever my sister is around, problems start popping up left and right. My mom says it's because I'm holding onto a grudge. 

So reddit, am I the asshole here?

&amp;#x200B;

answerable

