instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
question:
Text: mandatory this didn't happen today, but yesterday.

so after about of year of deliberating i finally decided to get a tattoo, thought of what i wanted and got myself booked in. found this awesome artist in walking distance from my house who even came with recommendations from a colleague of mine. perfect.

day of the tat, i'm some weird combination of nervous (needle phobia and all) and excited. in my idiocy i stay up most of the night before playing destiny, so i wind up waking up around 11:30am, with the tat booked at 12. no biggie, can walk it in 10 mins anyways so i get up, shower and walk straight down there.

get to the studio and sit down, still excited for my first tattoo. get started, first thing i think is "oh, this doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as i expected, actually quite tolerable."

20 mins later, i feel a little woozy, so i ask the artist to stop. as soon as she does, my body goes into mega-wtf mode. i start to massively overheat, even with the door open and a cold day. then my eyesight goes and i can't see a thing. then my hearing goes muffled and i can barely hear the artist asking if i'm alright. on the brink of passing out, i'm in full panic mode cause nothing like this has ever happened to me before. luckily, they know exactly what to do, hydrate me, keep me calm and bring me back round to full consciousness.

scariest thing to ever happen to me by far and it's taught me a valuable lesson, always eat before a tattoo. afterwards, i learned that my almost passing out was most likely caused by low blood sugars, cause i skipped breakfast. won't be making that mistake again, that's for sure.

 

edit: i missed the best part. because of this, i now have to sport half a tattoo until next tuesday. fml.
answer:
; skipped breakfast before first tattoo, almost passed out.


question:
Text: so i work as a level 1 it help desk/computer repairs technician for a small company. my boss is a woman in her early 40's, and she was having router troubles at home. no problem, i can stop over on my way home, fix her router up in 10 minutes and earn some brownie points.

i arrive at the house, ring the doorbell, and wait. keep in mind, this is an expensive house in the rich part of town. these are the sort of people who have more money than i'll ever earn and are extremely proud of it. typical rich bastards, but having them on your side comes in handy more often than not.

20 seconds later an old man answers the door. he looks about 65.

me: "oh hi, you must be carol's... dad?" <- mistake #1 what a moron

him: "husband."

his face looked like i just ripped a massive fart an inch from his nose. he must have been wondering who the hell i was.

me: "oh, umm... well. you look a lot older than carol." <- can i get any dumber?

him: "can i help you boy?"

i then explain to him why i'm there, and he lets me in. i get to work on the router, when my friend calls my cell and wants to talk. i start chatting away, assuming the husband is still in the kitchen, when i say: "yeah i'm just at my boss's house fixing the internet for her pedophile husband."

pedophile husband walks in.

him: "excuse me?"

i immediately go bright red and hang up on my friend.

me: "oh um, the internet's fixed, let me know if you have any more issues, thanks!"

and i practically sprint out the door.
answer:
i'm really samrt


question:
Text: as a little introduction, my gf and i live in an apartement building that's 4 floors high with two apartments on each floor, in lisbon portugal. also it's important to know what i look like, i'm a big (6'2, 260lbs) tattoed, hairy dude.   
   
so, the gf will be coming home from work soon and i had stayed at home, having a day off and decided it was time to take our 4 months old black labrador (named special agent dale cooper) for his late afternoon walk. we also have 3 cats (tyler, herbie and marla) that are indoor cats.
so i get lil' coop all pumped up and off we go, i slam the door shut and go down to the street level. when i open the building door i notice it's a very windy day but nice and sunny. after about an hour outside roaming around the neighborhood i can see that cooper is beat so we head back home.   
all the way up the floors i'm playing with cooper on the stairs, joking around and stuff and when we finally get to the last flight of stairs i notice our apartment door is wide open. the fucking wind must have forced it open! i instanly flip out and think of the cats.   
there i am, dog still on the leash, yelling their names, looking everywhere in the apartment for the cats who of course are nowhere to be seen. now we don't have kids, these lil' critters are our kids, i start to hiperventilate and finally decide to lock cooper in the house while i go look outside, thinking the cats are alone, on the streets or something. i start to really hiperventilate a lot now and sweat profusely, still yelling their names and making kissy sounds to which they usually respond. i look down in the stairwell (you know the little space in between the stairs and see a white blob down in the basement. i run down 3 floors to the basement and find tyler (all white cat) and marla (garfield like) and they are freaked out, their tails all bushy and puffed out, their eyes giant. they give me these scared big ass meows. i grab them and hold them close and i'm now crying like a little baby. so i take them back up, cooper is there waiting patiently for us and i still have to find the third cat, herbie. and right when i drop the two i just found i see the pillow mountain on our couch move a little, i lift one and see herbie. she had slept through all the yelling and panicking.
when i see her i fall down to my ass on the ground, sobbing like a complete idiot.   
and these lil' bums surround me and all start to lick my hands (cats and puppy alike) as if to say "it's ok, dude! we're ok. take it easy." and that's when my girlfriend opens the door and sees me on the ground, sobbing, all sweaty and huffing and the pets all over me. so yeah... after i calmed down i explained everything to her and she laughed at me and said it was cute.

 
   
edit:   
here is a pic of the little rascals, from about 3 months ago. ---> http://i.imgur.com/ayh7gtk.jpg   
   
edit 2:   
you guys, here are the imgur galleries of our lil' gang. all from when we went to pick up cooper.   
part 1 - http://imgur.com/gallery/n1c7c   
part 2 - http://imgur.com/a/exdgz   
part 3 - http://imgur.com/gallery/xgwv2   

edit 3:
hey hey! i gotta turn in for the night but i thought i could leave you folks with these freshly taken pics of the tribe.
https://imgur.com/a/cz5xe
answer:

- went out for a walk with the dog, the wind opened my apartment door. i though i had lost our other pets and basically had a nervous breakdown.


