In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.

Text: like most tifus, this was many years ago, but i will never forget it.

i was in the middle of a catholic cathedral, one of those immeasurably large, awe-inspiring ones, with marble floors, and vaulted ceilings so high you'd think heaven itself was under its roof. you know, the type of church that not only could pack the entire city into its pews on sunday, but *did* pack the entire city into its pews on sunday. and you all know how unbelievable the acoustics are in a building like this, right? i mean, if you dropped a pin in this place it would sound like you slammed a tin trash can lid against the wall in front of a microphone connected to stadium concert speakers.

this was the place.

the circumstances make it worse.

the priest had just finished a lengthy and passionate sermon -- or speech, or lesson, or whatever catholics call it, i don't remember, i've long since left religion behind -- and the church was in reflection. i was situated in the third to last pew, all the way in the back, but toward the center aisle of the church that runs front to back down the middle of the place, dividing the left and right sides. importantly, i was alongside and among fellow students who were shuttled to the church every sunday by the boarding school i attended at the time. i remember all of this like i remember my own name. in particular, and most critically, i was seated next to my older brother.

now, something to know about this set of students shuttled in to the church every sunday: we were already in disrepute. most of us were not there by our own will, but by the will of our parents, who had instructed the school that we were to attend. thus, we often were the whisperers; the peanut gallery; the misbehaved; the damned, if you will, in the back.

but not this day. this day, we were respectful. reflective. contemplative. the sermon was stirring and heartfelt, and the message -- somber, melancholy, touching -- resonated with us. and when it ended, the priest asked for a moment of silence.
it was in this very moment, when not a breath disturbed the air in the cathedral, that i unleashed the most monstrous and forceful fart that ever escaped my ass. its power was enough to be loud on its own, in any building, but in this one it was not only exacerbated by the acoustics of the vaulted ceiling, marble floors, and sheer volume of the place, but it fucking ricocheted -- *ricocheted*, i tell you -- off of the wooden pews on which we were seated, accelerating out of my puckered catholic bottom and becoming an unstoppable, astronomical soundwave that swept through and overwhelmed the cathedral like a hurricane's gale force winds, echoing into eternity.

and it was then, in the moment that followed -- the aftermath -- that i staked my claim to godliness.

as the entirety of the church turned its indignant gaze to my area, setting off a chorus of creaks and groans from the wooden pews strained under the shifting weight of a thousand catholic asses, i reacted instinctively.

all eyes now cast upon our row, i lifted my right arm slightly across my chest.

and pointed to my immediate left, at my brother.

he beat me up later that day for it.
farted a monstrous fart in a huge church during a moment of absolute silence. everyone turned around to shame the culprit; i pointed at my brother. he beat me up later for it.

Text: i apologize for the length, but this takes place of a long period of time. skip to the bottom of you must. 

okay. so this fuck started about two years ago, and has finally come into fruition about 20 minutes ago.

i was 10 years old when i met the guy of my dreams (let's call him tom. because that's his name.) he always had a girlfriend and i honestly just didn't look at him like that, but we were always good friends. our friendship kind of stopped when i went to a different middle school, and i figured that was the end of that. i was so wrong. 

so fast forward to freshman year, i was 14 and he was about to turn 15 (this is important later). we ended up in honors bio together, and sat right next to each other. it was great. we instantly rekindled our friendship, and all was well. i didn't have a cell phone at the time because my parents were super strict, but that's another story for a different time. anyway, about a month into school i go to my first football game because i was staying at a friends house while my parents were out of town. 

that's where i saw him. i had never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. we didn't talk at all, because i had a sort - of - boyfriend - thing whom i was at the game with. but that night, while at my friends house, we decided to prank call people. (we were teenage girls, sorry). so we call tom, he immediately knows what's up. he and i end up talking until about 6 in the morning, during which he invited me to his birthday party the next day. 

i should note that i wasn't invited to be begin because it was a conjoined party and i didn't get a long with the girl who sent the invitations, whatever. so i show up to this party and elaina (the girl i hate) is visually upset but i don't care because nothing it going to ruin my night. 

now, because my parents were so strict, at the old age of 14 i still had yet to kiss a boy. it was a known fact among my friends and i was teased relentlessly. as the party goes on, were all hoped up on sugar and decide this is a good time to reveal my bathing suit to the world. (it belonged to my friend who was about 3 sizes smaller than me, so i was busting out of it - in a good way though). i could feel the attention of every boy in the room, but i only cared about one.

i spent the remainder of the party in the pool with tom, but once it got dark we all got out and played truth or dare. the game goes on as it does, nothing really exciting happens. that is until someone dares me to pour dr pepper all over my body. of course, because i am not a whimp, i do the dare. i then turn to jump into the pool, someone yells for me to stop, so i turn around. someone then gets up and says "now i dare tom to lick it off!" gulp. i've never even kissed a boy and now one would be licking me. 

he was nervous, i was nervous. he starts at my stomach, licking upwards towards my top, making eye contact with me the whole time. this unleashed something inside me that i can't explain, even to this day. we eventually get bored and the game finishes. so tom and i head over to the hot tub. "this is it" i though. i would be getting my first kiss. 

now i won't bore you with the details of that, just know that it was magical. and that's when i knew he was the one. 

we started officially dating next day, and i had never been happier in my young life. we dated for four years. and when i turned 18, we finally talked about getting married. and i did what any dumbass kid would do, i broke up with him. i was so scared, and i had no idea what i was doing. marriage? holy shit. i had never been with anyone else and i had no idea what else was out there. 

as it turns out, nothing. nothing was out there. 

fast forward to about two months ago. it's tom's birthday and i figure this would be a great opportunity to talk to him again. see how he is. i never stopped loving him, even for a second, and this was my chance.

we start talking and i find out he recently has gotten out of a relationship and has joined the military. he currently lives in texas. (i live in california). so anyway, we pretty much are talking non stop for the next few weeks and everything is going great. slowly, but great. he's having a hard time trusting me, and i totally understand. i broke his heart. but now he's really opening up to me again and i think to myself, this is my chance. 

so tonight, about 20 minutes ago i text him saying that i can't wait for him to get out, because i need him. and he's all i want. he replies saying "really?" and then i go, "really. i want to marry you." 


he still hasn't replied. and i'm pretty sure i scared him away. fuck.
dated a guy basically my entire childhood, broke up with him out of fear, realized my mistake, waited two years to talk to him, tell him i wanna marry him, scare him away.

Text: this literally just happened.. i'm still waiting in the waiting room for my car as i write this. 
so i took my car into the shop today and as i was coming in i was smoking a bowl.. well as i was driving i dropped it and spilled it all over the floor. i thought nothing of it and kept driving hey it happens all the time. 
well fast forward and i'm sitting in the waiting room the manager comes up and asks to speak to me. i go in the back with him and i guess they have to take cars for a mile test run after the oil change and while doing that the guy got pulled over. cop saw the weed and i guess from what the guy told me my entire car was searched and it was a major ordeal.. i'm just glad i grabbed my backpack out with my bowl/grinder

spilled pot in my car, got oil change, mechanic got pulled over and searched due to said pot

