Instructions: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
Input: Text: i cannot believe i haven't posted this, yet! this is a class-a fuck-up and i hope you are not disappointed! a little background: this was close to six years ago, i was nineteen, i had just started renting a house with two of my friends a month prior to this fuck-up, and there are **finally** pictures of the damage at the bottom]! enjoy!

i wake up one day, hungry. i throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. it was around one in the afternoon and i decide to look for something quick to snack on. i search through the freezer and i see a bag of ore-ida french fries, and i think to myself, "score!" then, i look into the bag and become a little disappointed because there are nine french fries. i look over at the stove, and i see a full pot of oil sitting there so i turn the heat up to high and throw the french fries in.

as i'm standing there, waiting for the oil to heat up i look over and see an earring sitting on the counter. it was one of those big hoop earrings, and it had been left there by a household friend. i think to myself, "i haven't had an earring in my ear in a long time. i bet there's a lot of gross stuff in there i can get out with this!" then, i stop what i'm doing and head off to the bathroom to stick this thing in my ear, and yes, the dead skin and such that came out was super gross. happy, i realize i now have to take a huge shit. after i'm all finished up i notice i could use a bit of a shave, and then i brush my teeth. satisfied, i leave the bathroom.

my first thought was, "wow, it's really smokey in here!" before i realize i had forgotten about the french fries! i run in there, and the pot of oil is on fire and smoke is billowing out of the cooking pot. i freak out, i panic, and i don't know what to do. we haven't been living here long, and there was no flour or anything else to work with to put this thing out with. in hindsight i could have smothered it, but of course i realize this after the fact. i know i have to get the fire out of the house. our driveway is all cement, and if i could just get the pot of oil outside the thing could just burn itself out. 

i grab the pot of oil by the handle and make the slow walk to the driveway door. i keep the fire as far from me as possible, openning the door with one hand, and as soon as it cracks open the wind blows fire across my hand. instinct takes over, and i yell "ow!" chucking the pot of oil out the door. it lands flat, awesomely, but then the oil splashes back at me across my legs.

i felt nothing... at first. the remaining oil in the pot sits there burning as i find a phone and call my mother to tell her what happened. she's a nurse, so she'll know what to do. as i'm on the phone with her, confused and delirious, i notice my legs start wobbling. with the shaking the pain starts to shoot up my hole body and i get off the phone with my mother before running into the house and jumping in the tub to run cold water over my legs. 

i'm standing in the tub, shaking, as the pain hits me with intense waves making me want to cry out in pain. i have the bathroom door open, and down the hall i can see one of my roommate's step out into the hall. he's woken up after my ruckus and was confused. i yell out what i did, and he shakes his head and goes back into his room. as the day goes on blisters rise up all over my legs. my left foot is hit the worst, and is covered in a large blister. later that same night i kneel down to turn on my 360 and accidentally drag the top of my foot across the carpet and rip the blister off; squirting blister juice everywhere.

i don't have insurance, so i never go to the doctor about this and i know now that was a pretty bad mistake. the next day i have go to work at a convenience store, and i have this open wound that covers 1/3 of my foot so i wrap it in toilet paper before putting on my socks and shoes before going to work for eight hours. this was a fuck-up on its own as this was just as dumb as trying on an earring in the bathroom when cooking with oil. i get home later that night, and when i take my sock off my foot is just covered in this green slime and i have to painfully pluck out strands of toilet paper that had wedged itself into my wound. in my memory the green glob of slime almost seems creamy. the rest of my foot turns red and becomes even more painful. 

my mother chastises me for stupid decisions as she cleans the wound and wraps it in a bandage and gauze. she leaves me with antibiotic ointment and plenty of gauze and tells me how often to change the wrap. a sales manager at my job tells me she'll start changing my bandage every day for me, as she used to be a home care nurse. my job allows me to sit down and keep my shoe off of my left foot. i have to tell my story to everyone who asks, because certain customers gave me a lot of crap for sitting down. after i showed them my foot they quieted down, at least.

the next few weeks of recovery are pretty painful, as i can't keep my foot on the ground for too long because for some reason it felt like blood was pooling up at the bottom of my foot, it would turn very red, but would ease up if i reclined my foot on something.

on the bright side of all of this i meant my wife because of all of this. she was dating a co-worker of mine at the time and she felt so sorry that this had happened to me. her pity turned into affection and we started talking a lot more before she left her current relationship to be with me. shortly after my foot heals i break my middle toe on the same foot when i locked myself out of this same house and had to crawl in through the attic and hurt myself when i jumped through an opening. then, angered by her leaving him, i get my ass kicked by a fake vampire who is mad i stole his woman (i was a pacifist at the time, and didn't throw a single punch and even told him i wouldn't, but that didn't stop him from whaling on me for ten minutes and breaking my nose with his steel-toed boots) but those are all entirely different stories.


 

[the pictures](http://imgur.com/a/qi24r)

edit: i must first apologize for my poor planning! i *really thought* i still had immediate access to this picture when i first posted this, and the guilt i've been riddled with all day as i look for this picture hasn't helped. i'm saddened to let anyone down from seeing my nasty foot, and i will be sure to contact whomever has shown interest in the picture when it is finally available. i'll try to think of something to make this worth the wait, but i really must admit this was poor planning and the story could have waited until i actually had the picture i kept referencing throughout. 

edit 2: pictures are finally up! i am sorry about the long wait and i hope you're not let down!

also, i have moments of brilliance to make up for my poor coordination, planning, and the like.
Output:
tried cooking nine french fries in oil, got distracted, caught oil on fire and dropped it on foot, wrapped it in toilet paper and turned the wound septic. **never went to a doctor.**