1. "Why?" is a question that comes up a lot while watching this abysmal prequel that no one asked for.
2. Joe Wright's Pan is an incredibly derivative new take on a classic character -- but it's not all bad.
3. Mad Max: Fury Road for kids.
4. Jackman's theatrical charm helps tie together the many influences, but it's hard to be inspired by that familiar trope of the fated boy prophesied to change everything. The movie takes seriously concepts thoroughly satirised by The Lego Movie.
5. Wright throws a lot of ideas at Pan, and not all of them stick, but it makes for a refreshingly imaginative experience, and one not afraid of inspiring a little fear in younger audiences alongside the scattergun wonder.
6. "Pan" is a cacophonous assault on the senses, all computerized cinematographic mayhem and deafening noise, and its hurried pace extinguishes any genuine character development.
7. Lively, but flawed.
8. Hugh Jackman has an obvious ball playing the nasty pirate Blackbeard, young Levi Miller is fine as Peter and there are some cool visual touches.
9. The film's bracing darker streak also battles internally with its own capitulation to dull and bog standard "inspirational" Hollywood rhetoric, but like the pixie dust Pan's pirates mine, there's still some magic buried here.
10. Pan's newly-imagined take on Peter's early days rarely achieves lift-off, forever anchored by its own irrelevance.

What is a brief summary of the following reviews?
Pan finds a few bursts of magic in its prequel treatment of classic characters, though not enough to offset the rushed plot and shrill, CGI-fueled action.