question: An aggressively lowbrow vehicle for its titular star, this gross-out comedy fails to "git-r-done."

numbered reviews: 1. [A] rattletrap star vehicle.
2. When lists of the 10 worst movies of 2006 start coming out, you'll know it's been a truly abominable year if Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector doesn't rate a slot near the top.
3. OK, are you eating anything? Potato chips, breakfast cereal...anything at all? Please stop, if you plan on reading any further in this review of "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector," because this movie is so revolting.
4. Not one gratuitous 'Git-Er-Done!' was uttered during the composition of this review.
5. The very existence of Larry the Cable Guy would seem like a pretty good argument against the concept of Intelligent Design.
6. It'd be tempting to call Larry the Ernest of his generation, but that'd be a grave insult to Jim Varney's enduring legacy.
7. Movies like Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector may be critic-proof, but even die-hard fans of country crude will have to admit that a little Larry goes a long way.
8. Flatulence ensues.
9. Unpleasant, uncouth and painfully unfunny, Larry the Cable Guy attempts lowbrow humor with neither the wit of the Farrelly brothers nor the raunchy inventiveness of Keenen Ivory Wayans.
10. What is surprising and worth noting, though, is the quality of talent that's sadly squandered in comedian Larry the Cable Guy's feature film debut.


question: The Messengers is an atmospheric but derivative rip-off of countless other horror movies.

numbered reviews: 1. This first American horror effort by the Pang Bros. doesn't deliver.
2. The plethora of horror movie cliches -- even those still residually effective -- weigh so heavily in The Messengers that whatever moments of terror that might have been had are left positively weightless.
3. The objective view gives the audience too much room to unravel its schematic plot, which is far less inspired than its creepy visuals.
4. The Messengers isn't a particularly frightening or gory horror movie, but directors Danny and Oxide Pang do have a special talent for torturing the reputations of their actors.
5. And what crop is Dylan growing, you ask? Sunflowers. Yes, sunflowers. Agriculture's baby-step from farming dandelions. Why not just harvest weeds?
6. Scary awful. It's a new genre I just made up.
7. Just another craptacular exercise in weak PG-13 horror involving resourceful-but-stupid teens, idiotic adults and ghostly apparitions with short pants, pale skin and stringy hair.
8. The message of this creepy-ghost thriller is that no matter how talented the Hong Kong filmmakers may be, they'll invariably be forced to make their first American movie an unimpressive, generic creepy-ghost thriller.
9. The Pangs keep it moving and deliver the 'gotcha!' moments, but a steady diet of mechanical scares is thin stuff.
10. The Pangs painfully hew to a vision of an idealized Americana with the 'happy ending' coming off as especially egregious.


question: This is an insult to the Sci-fi genre with no excitement and bad FX.

numbered reviews: 1. Supernova meekly goes where other sci-fi flicks, such as Alien, have gone before.
2. Avoid.
3. Hill disciples will no doubt find it a fascinating film.
4. If the 20 minutes of deleted scenes on the DVD had been inserted back into the actual film, Supernova would have been much better.
5. One suspects that most of the people associated with this film will be filled with regret that they ever had anything to do with it.
6. a half-baked science fiction rip-off that manages to be both excruciatingly simplistic and utterly incoherent at the same time
7. The script probably got sucked into a black hole.
8. It's hard to watch Supernova without recalling that wonderful Israeli definition of a camel - a horse that's been assembled by a committee.
9. A super bore.
10. A crash course from the start.


question: Unnecessary, unfunny, and generally unwelcome, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son offers more of the same for fans of Martin Lawrence's perplexingly popular series.

numbered reviews:
1. It's tough to begrudge a film that incorporates, as this one does, a supremely corny Fame number into its undercover ogling and groaning pratfalls.
2. Anyone with a funnybone should avoid what will surely be the worst film of 2011. Until the next Martin Lawrence movie, that is.
3. This is not a case of doubling the fun so much as an anxious attempt to revive a franchise running out of gas.
4. The airless Matthew Fogel-Don Rhymer script makes one long for the snark and sass of Madea.
5. Pathetic.
6. I extend my deepest sympathies. I hear there are support groups available for people who've survived lousy Martin Lawrence comedies.
7. It would only be respectful to hang up Big Momma's oversized girdle once and for all.
8. Really, you could guess every joke the film offers in five minutes.
9. Though more professionally made than its predecessors, it is just as lazily plotted, formulaic and insultingly stupid.
10. The well-established Big Momma combination of cheap and cheesy chuckles, sex-obsessed banter, and slapstick so broad even the biggest of mommas could easily hide behind it.