Summarize the following:
It’s hard but possible to boost your self-esteem going forward, so that things like accepting compliments will come more easily. Don’t give up! One of the most important steps is to give yourself a solid foundation. Everyone has strengths and positive qualities – it’s only a matter of discovering what yours are.  Consider writing a list of your personal qualities. What do you do well? What are your talents? What are your special accomplishments? Think very hard and come up with as many as you can. Remind yourself of these traits everyday. If it helps, put your list where you can check it when feeling doubtful. You might tack it to your bulletin board or bathroom mirror, for example. You might also consider keeping a journal and recording the good things that happen to you each day. Highlight five or ten positives each day – things you accomplished, did well, or felt good about. People who have low self-esteem often have trouble with all-or-nothing thinking. When something goes wrong, it’s not just a mistake but a complete personal failure on their part. There is no middle ground. This really isn’t fair to you, though. Learn to forgive yourself.  When you make a mistake, remind yourself that it was one mistake at one moment in time. Try saying, “Yes, I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person or mean I’m worthless.” Focus on your effort rather than perfection, too. Remove the words “should” or “must” from your thinking and you’ll be able to set more realistic expectations – ones that you can meet. In the same vein, try to avoid mistaking feelings for facts. You are not stupid or unattractive or a failure just because you feel that way. We all doubt ourselves from time to time and no one is perfect. Try to replace any all-or-nothing thinking with reasonable expectations. Partly this means accepting that you can change and control some things in life and not others. It also means focusing on the things that you can control. Why should we feel badly when we fail to do the impossible?  If you’re unhappy about something you can change, like your poor math skills, start today to fix and improve it. Give yourself credit when you see a change. If you’re unhappy with something that you can’t change, like the size of your ears, work on accepting it. There’s no good reason to worry about these sorts of things. They will only make you frustrated and unhappy. Practicing self-compassion can help to boost your self-esteem and it may also make it easier to accept compliments. Try to work on building your self-compassion whenever you have a chance to do so.    Try to remember to be COAL. COAL stands for curious, open, accepting, and loving. By adopting this attitude towards yourself, you may find it easier to practice self-compassion. If you find yourself beating yourself up over something, then remind yourself to be COAL.  Imagine how you might treat a friend. Whenever you are feeling upset with yourself or just upset in general, try to imagine how you might treat a friend who was going through the same thing. Would you berate your friend, or pat him or her on the back? Would you mock your friend, or provide encouraging words? Try to treat yourself as you would treat a friend who was dealing with the same problem.  Acknowledge your needs. Another important part of practicing self-compassion is acknowledging your needs and giving yourself a break now and then. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, allow yourself to step away from what you are doing and do something relaxing for a while, such as taking a walk, reading a book, or just relaxing in a comfortable chair.
Identify your positive traits. Forgive yourself. Focus on things that you can control. Practice self-compassion.