My best story is about Santa Claus. A mall Santa had a heart attack at work and was rushed to the Emergency Room in full cardiac arrest. Let me explain that a person playing Santa is generally a certain age (white beard) and body type (round) that is predisposed to cardiac disease. We did everything we could but ultimately our efforts were futile. The mall Santa rode his sleigh into the great beyond. A mother, there to visit another patient, was insistent that her 7–8 year old son be allowed back to visit his grandmother. We had a strict 12 year old age limit visitation policy. I was called to speak with her. ”Why do you have such a stupid Draconian policy?” She insisted. “The Emergency Room is no place for a child ma’am. Besides, the germs and infections he may be exposed to, there are things he may see or hear that a child would have a hard time processing,” I explained. “Like what?” She argued. “Well, there are people in pain moaning,” I answered. “And drunks cursing at the staff. It’s a tough place.” “He’s fine,” she insisted. “I think I know how to parent. I don’t need you to worry about what my son is able to handle.” I caved in and allowed her back. As we passed the room with the dead Santa, a tech exited and opened the curtain. Her child looked in and saw Santa’s lifeless body, ET tube sticking out of his throat, boots still on but costume cut to shreds and strewn across the room. The child lost it! “Mom, Santa Claus is Dead!” He cried. “I’m not going to get anything for Christmas.” “Why would someone open the curtain?” The mother demanded. “I warned you,” I said. “That’s why we have a 12 years and above visitation policy.” She was not happy. Come to find out the child had his picture made with that very Santa a few days prior. Very ironic. After her little boy "lost it" the mother probably:  A. Better understands the hospitals 12 and older visitation policy.  B. Thinks the real Santa is dead and Christmas is forever gone.  C. Doubts her parenting abilities.  D. not enough information
A
------
About 15 years ago I met Stuart ‘Aq’ Langridge when he walked into the new Wolverhampton Linux Users Group I had just started with his trademark bombastic personality and humor. Ever since those first interactions we have become really close friends. Today Stuart turns 40 and I just wanted to share a few words about how remarkable a human being he is. Many of you who have listened to Stuart on Bad Voltage, seen him speak, worked with him, or socialized with him will know him for his larger than life personality. He is funny, warm, and passionate about his family, friends, and technology. He is opinionated, and many of you will know him for the amusing, insightful, and tremendously articulate way in which he expresses his views. He is remarkably talented and has an incredible level of insight and perspective. He is not just a brilliant programmer and software architect, but he has a deft knowledge and understanding of people, how they work together, and the driving forces behind human interaction. What I have always admired is that while bombastic in his views, he is always open to fresh ideas and new perspectives. For him life is a journey and new ways of looking at the road are truly thrilling for him. As I have grown as a person in my career, with my family, and particularly when moving to America, he has always supported yet challenged me. He is one of those rare friends that can enthusiastically validate great steps forward yet, with the same enthusiasm, illustrate mistakes too. I love the fact that we have a relationship that can be so open and honest, yet underlined with respect. It is his personality, understanding, humor, thoughtfulness, care, and mentorship that will always make him one of my favorite people in the world. How does the author feel about Stuart?  A. he looks down on him  B. he admires him  C. not enough information  D. he doesn't trust him
B
------
When I was a patrolman working the 11PM to 7AM shift we received a phone call from a police department about 200 miles away in a neighboring state. It seems that department was holding one of our elderly residents who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Earlier in the day this gentlemen got the keys to his wife’s car and went for a ride. He quickly became confused and lost, so he just kept driving. The last 60 miles of his journey consisted of a low speed police chase. This poor man was scared to death and only pulled over when his vehicle ran out of gas. A request was made for us to send an officer to transport this gentleman the 200 miles back to his home. Because we were at minimum shift strength, the Sergeant determined that a family member would have to go and get him. I returned to work the following night and at nightly briefing, I asked if anyone had an update on the man’s transport. The sergeant said he hadn’t heard anything, which is when a junior patrolman spoke up. He said that man is from my neighborhood and after I got home from work this morning, I drove the 400 mile round trip and picked up my neighbor and returned him home to his wife. I just got back into town about an hour ago, so I changed into my uniform, and I’m here for my shift! I learned later that this patrolman had taken it upon himself to contact the man’s wife and the only vehicle they owned was out of gas 200 miles away. So this officer stayed up all day after a working the midnight shift and used his own car for the 400 mile trip. The officer said when he picked the man up at the station; he looked at the officer and smiled. He recognized his neighbor. This frail elderly man surely did not remember this selfless act of kindness. But it made a lasting impression on me, and on what it means to be a good cop. The junior patrolman went to pick up his neighbor:  A. During his shift  B. After working all night  C. not enough information  D. Later that day
B
------
Trying to drive up a very small street with cars parked on both sides so only one car at a time could get by, individual sees me already entered the roadway, got in the car backs out of his driveway, intending to for me to back all the way out. I was about half in. I wait thinking he will realize it was a not so smart action and he will pull back in to let me pass since forward is an easier safer plan. He doesn't do that we sit for anout 30 seconds and he is determined to stay. I was a fairly new driver in my first car. I get irritated and shut my motor off basically saying, buddy I entered the street first you were parked never looked before you hurriedly pulled forward. So he shuts off his motor and smiled good as to say stalemate. I'm thinking I have no place I have to be, I'll wait rather than trying to back up half the block without hitting somebodies car. We wait, he gets out of his car goes into his house, no cell phone back then it was the pager (beepers) era. I wasnt sure why he was going in, but probably nit good outcome for me. So I happened to have a small bottle of Keri Lotion (thick, oily lotion for extremely dry skin) in the cup holder. I jump out of my car run to his squirted the whole bottle all over his windshield ran back to my car and DID manage to back up rapidly without damaging my car or anyone! He ran out of the house and I saw by his facial expression was livid! I was thinking as I drove away I hope he doesn't try to use the wipers, that's going to make a really smear mess. He's not going anyplace for a while. Years later I regretted having done that, letting a stranger provoke me, and second felt guilty about the sheer gleeful triumph of seeing his face. I won! What would have been the proper thing for the man to do?  A. Make the driver back out of the road.  B. Block the driver's way.  C. not enough information  D. Wait for the driver to pass through the road before pulling out.

D
------