In this task you are given an anecdote, which recount a complex ethical situation. The question you are given is, has the author of the anecdote acted ethically? answer this question with "RIGHT" or "WRONG".

[EX Q]: About 2 weeks ago I had a party for my mom and I invited my best friend, we can call her Candle. So I invited Candle and she told me that she would be there. Fast forward to the day before the party, her and I are hanging out and I asked her what her plans were for tomorrow she mentioned everything but coming to my moms birthday party and when I brought it up she said nothing, but “oh okay.” So I assumed alright she might not be coming, whatever no big deal. 

The Day of the party I have family asking about Candle wondering if she was coming, not really having an answer I decide to text her “hey are you coming tonight ?” I didn’t get a text back for the rest of the day. Later on that night though she post a Snapchat story of her with her other friends getting ready. Now at this point I’m drunk and a little hurt and reply back to the story about how I couldn’t get a text back. She opened that and never replied back for the rest of the night. 

Next morning I wake up and she text me saying, “sorry I couldn’t make it but HMU after work and I’ll smoke you out fat.” I’m sorry but to me that isn’t an apology. I didn’t respond back to her for a few days she tried calling me and I really didn’t want to even answer so I didn’t. I did what she did to me I ignored her. A week later I decide to talk to her and see if she says anything maybe even apologize in person. Guess what? she didn’t. I’m the one that had to bring it up and all I got out of her was “Yeah I fucked up,” and “you caught me while I was faded” those aren’t apologies and she obviously didn’t see it as a big deal so I left it at that and I left knowing that I don’t want to be friends w a person like this. so I took her off my family sharing which we had Apple Music together. Later that day she notices and we have an argument and our friendship had ended. I just wanna know am I the asshole in this? Should I have just let it go? I’m willing to share the screenshots of our argument so you all can get a better understanding of that as well. 
[EX A]: RIGHT

[EX Q]: So. This happened almost 2 years ago. I have wondered for quite some time if I was right or wrong. 

Kinda long, so I apologize. 

So, we live in a small town, and wanted to really start socializing our son. We found a very highly rated pre-K program a couple towns over for him to start going 2 days a week, for 2.5 hrs at a time. We thought it would be a great introduction to school as well as let him get quality time in with kids his own age. They wouldnt let him go alone until he was 3, so we started him about 2 weeks prior, and we would hang out and wait in a separate part of the building. He did great. Loved it. We were all so pleased with how it was going. They have a giant monthly calendar as you walk into the building to let everyone know the daily activities. 

The night of my sons 3rd birthday, we have a house fire. A mouse chewed into an outlet in the basement and fire spread through the hvac system as we slept. We awoke to smoke and fire alarms. I rushed to get our three children out, and my husband went to work putting the fire out with a hose. We were out of our home for nearly 6 months while repairs were being done. 

My husband and I talked about it, and we just wanted to continue normal life for our kids. We had so much to do (we had no clothes, no food, nothing, insurance claims, bank calls...the list was endless). So 2 days later, we decided we would send him to school. He wanted to go, we just wanted their loves to stay as normal as possible as the world seemed so crazy at home. The night before taking him to school, I call the director and let her know what happened, and let them know my son would be there, as we are trying to keep life fun and happy. 

When I arrived, my plan was to drop him off, and stick close to ensure I'd be close if I needed to pick him up.  I ran in, met with his teacher and made certain she was aware of the situation, and then left. I did not take note of the calender, as I was off to try and buy clothes for a family of 5 to last a week. 

About an hour later I get a phone call....I needed to come get my son as he was freaking out because THEY DECIDED HE WAS READY TO GO THROUGH A FIRE DRILL, didnt warn him, and he was upset that his family didnt come out of the building. I was heated. I walked in and demanded who thought this was a good idea. The director. Why? Because he needs to get used to them.  Ffs. I lost my mind on her. Hes fucking 3. Just turned fucking 3. He doesnt have the mental capacity to understand this stuff. Admittedly,  I was harsh. But what really got me was, she said, "well....it was on the calendar". I asked her if everyone knew the situation, why did no one even mention to me when I dropped him off? No response. 

So. Reddit. AITA for going off on my 3 year olds school. 
[EX A]: RIGHT

[EX Q]: It's a long story (I can try to bulletpoint if anyone wants to know) but I took a DNA test months ago. Found out my dead father isn't my father, it's my godfather who is estranged to us. My mother actually made him my godfather *because* she knew I was biologically his. I suspected for a decade but didn't know till I got the test

Before my bio father became estranged to us he had a son with his girlfriend. I met the son when he was a newborn. The girlfriend left with the son to another state and my bio father left us to be with her a while later. Didn't talk to him for over a decade. We still don't really talk and I found out the girlfriend became his wife and they're now completely separated. They had two more kids and he's not allowed to see them, so I can't even speak to them through him.

Out of curiosity I decided to look the son up since I remembered his name and realized he'd be a teenager. At one point my bio father, who lived with us at the time, was going to seek custody of him. So for a few months I anticipated this kid being my little brother.

Shockingly, the kid looks *exactly* like me. His childhood photos look exactly like my nephew. My sister is also my godfather's, we knew that for sure 100% for years. She took her own test and it says we're full siblings. I showed my friends and therapist his photos from his Facebook and they thought they were old photos of me with long hair. We're almost twins.

So, yeah, the kid is 16 now. He has his own Facebook and Instagram. 

I messaged his mother on Facebook to ask her permission to speak to him months ago. I wrote the letter with my therapist and was cordial and delicate considering the circumstances. She never responded. I was heartbroken but understood. 

My mother brought the kid up the other day and said she knows I'm probably sad that I can't have a relationship with my two little brothers and sister. I told her I was going to wait till the youngest is in their 20s before reaching out (that'll be in 10 - 12 years). She said the oldest is 16 and she thinks he's old enough for me to at least PM him to introduce myself.

I'm super conflicted. I don't know this kid and I don't know if he can handle something like this. On the other hand, 16 is old enough to understand. At the end of the day I want him to decide whether he wants me in his life or not, not his mother. Obviously, she can decide that for right now, but when he's an adult he can choose on his own.

My mother disagrees and thinks 16 is fine. She's under the impression that he probably wouldn't tell his mother and just talk to me. I wouldn't want to do that, however. I don't want to burn bridges or cause unnecessary issues with his mother. 

Family is super important to me, especially siblings. My sisters and their kids are my best friends. Would I be the asshole if I PM'd him despite his mother indirectly telling me no? Should I wait till he's 18 or in his 20s?

Advice? Has anyone been in this situation before?
[EX A]:
RIGHT

