Instructions: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
Input: Text: so as of 10 minutes ago i fucked it up. by day i'm a teacher and by night i like to clean and turn fossils into art. so having a nice piece of slate i wanted to split i picked up my blunt knife...yeah i'm also looking for an honourable mention darwin award here.

i find a nice crack and try to split the slate and as you can guess i put too much force into it, went through the rock and into my hand. for the next ten minutes i repeat "i'm a fucking idiot" while bleeding everywhere. the carpet, on the dog, the bathroom now looks like a scene from a horror movie. 

i manage to pinch the skin together and tape it up. i'm wondering if i should ask the neighbours to drive me to a&e or just drink and try to explain to my fiancé why i'm now on a list for googling 'how to get blood out of the carpet'

 

update: i noticed my 'bandage' was leaking again, i just opened it up and squirted blood up the wall. well shit. 

update two: fiancé laughed and put me in the car. at the hospital and now got a three hour wait with the drunks.
Output:
try to split rock with a dull knife, stabbed myself and bled everywhere. now waiting for the fiancé :/