Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, identify who is wrong here. Classify each post into the following categories : AUTHOR (if the author of the post is wrong in the situation), OTHER (if any of the others mentioned in the paragraph is wrong), EVERYBODY (if everyone mentioned is wrong) and NOBODY (if no one is wrong in the situation).
Q: So this girl was a very close friend of mine all through high school. I genuinly loved and cared about her, I still do. A part of me feels like she did feel the same, but I can’t be sure.

Still, we would argue. A LOT. It would start as something seemingly innocuos, and often would be something that wouldn’t get on our nerves if said or done by anyone else, and would quikly become spitting acid at eachother. 


I do try to make an effort to not touch any sore spots, even when i’m really angry, but i’m pretty sure I must have sometimes. She clearly either didn’t have the same reservation, or she didn’t pay enoug attention to know what I was most upset or insecure about.  I think she ocasionally found it entertaining to push my buttons in public to make me look bad. :/ she did that on quite a few occassions and I know in those instances, she was the asshole, but how I reacted was wrong too. I’m not sure why my temper was so short with her, when with most people it takes a lot to really piss me off. Same with her; she was so chill and kind with most people. For years we just walked on thin ice around eachother, with both of us being stubborn, passive aggressive and very, VERY opinionated. She would twist my words a little, I would massivly overreact, she’d start crying and that would piss me off even more; sometimes it seemed real and i’d keep pushing too much, sometimes it seemed like she only did it to get attention or to win the argument.

Still, a few things she said to me stuck with me, like how she originall only started being my friend because she felt sorry for me for not having many friends. She was one of the more popular girls, and I was definitly not. This is where i’m wondering if I was the asshole all along. I have a few very close friends, whereas she could pretty much chat with anyone, so clearly most people found her a lot more likeable and charismatic than me. 

Little tiny commets like that and, she would project all of her own insecurities on others.  I was constantly being self consciouss and embarrassed about eveyr little thing; my weight, my skin, just anything. Her mother was very... judgemental, old fashioned, i’m not sure how to say it nicely because she was a lovely, wonderful lady, but she had the idea that her daughter needed to be perfect, beautiful, ect. to get anywhere and I know she had a lot of pressure on her from that. And she was; she was very, VERY pretty compared to me. Her skin was very smooth, her hair didn’t frizz or poof at all, she seemed to be able to eat anything she wanted and never get fat. So yes, I was a teensy bit jealous even though I try to tell myself I don’t care about appearances. Or money, or popularity, or any of that stuff she had more than me of. Looking back, if it was me being jealous that made me so short tempred with her, it’s ridiculous, but it doesn’t explain at all why she was the same with me. IDK, maybe theres something i’m not seeing.  

Basically I FELT like she didn’t really care about me, and I FEEL like I spent more time comforting her, doing favours for her, and trying to help her than she ever did for me.  I FEEL like I was just a background character who she compared herself to to feel better about herself. I FEEL like she could be manipulative sometimes to keep me emotionally reliant on her as a friend, bt that could be me misinterpreting some of what she said/did or remembering things wrong so i’m not going to make any accusations.

Still, I could keep ranting and get very one-sided, so i’m going to finish here with backstory.

After we finished school, we both went on to seperate colleges. I made new friends at college and honestly, I felt happier with them that i’d ever felt wth her. It sort of made me realise how unhealthy our friendship had been, so I kinda... just slowed down replying to texts, saw her less and less, kind of on purpose. The straw that broke the camels back per say, was when we were arranging to meet in town. I wanted to meet  few minutes later because I wanted to sleep in; I have trouble sleeping sometimes and at my weekends I like to be lazy. I did want to see her, but I hoped she wouldn’t mind making it a half hour later. As usual, we were going to meet in the place that’s nearer to her house than mine, so I asked to compromise and meet earlier if she could come to the spot a bit closer to mine. No, she was not having it. I’m not quite sure what else was going on for her that day, but she got really pissed and then I got pissed that she was pissed at me and.... you get th point. We ddn’t speak again for nearly 9-10 months, we slowly start to talk to eachother again but there’s tension.

Then one day, she comes to meetme at my college. That seems really sweet at first and I wanted to think she was making th effort to coe there to see me and hang out, and she does want to hang out but she also wants me to do some camera work for her and use my colleges equipment. I sort of laugh it off, I help her a bit, but I want to go home. So I lie and tell her I had to babysit, she asked if i’d finish doing the filming for her tomorrow, I say maybe, I leave, and that’s the last time I ever speak to her again. I just ghost her. I’m not quite sure if it was maybe just fatigue of trying to keep a dead friendship alive, or if I was angry, sad, confused, or just felt a bit used. I overreacted, basically. That day was normal, nothing special, no arguments, nothing. I just sort of felloff the edge and didn’t bother to climb back up. She always thought I was selfish when I didn’t want to do something, and I just didn’t want to hear it, because I knew I would get upset and then get defensive, and so on and on and on...

EVERYONE has flaws, little irritating things they do, but somehow we were just unable to tolerate eachothers. I know, since I care about her I should put some effort in to work past our issues, but thinking back on our time together, it’s 90% arguments, insecurity, tension and frustration. It wasn’t healthy, and I didn’t want to make the effort to keep trying. 

We were 11 when we met, and 17 was when I ghosted. 19 now. I still think about her sometimes, but honestly I get panic attacks when I think about her too much XD Still I check her insta occasionally and she seems to be doing ok.

Be honest; I know I did my fair share of crap, she did too, I wish I could hear her honest side of the story but that conversation would only end in a mountain of salt and papercuts. I’m not brave enough to even make small talk,
 for fears of starting world war 3. I just want to be able to see where I was being shitty, so it never happens again. I never want to feel the way I did with her again, and I never want to say or do anything that could hurt someone I care about, so I want to know if there’s somewhere in this story that i’m not understandng or am misinterpreting or being a shitbag about. 


**TLDR** After a very close and long, but also very unhealthy and bitter friendship, I ghost her instead of trying to work things out or saying a proper goodbye.
A: 
EVERYBODY