The Rhinoman

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"Yeah, I'm nearsighted. So what? That don't mean I ain't a good guard. I can sprint faster than Carl Lewis, got enough muscle to plow through a cinderblock wall, and a hide tough enough to take small arms fire. And trust me, I'm also smarter than I look."

"What?"

"Who's Carl Lewis? Geez, learn your own history. If your scientists are smart enough to turn a rhino into me, you should be able to crack a book here and there!"