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The world was first introduced to Kate Gosselin, her then husband Jon Gosselin, and their eight children in 2006. Seven years after Jon and Kate Plus 8 premiered, 13-year-old twins Cara and Mady are opening up about growing up in the spotlight and life after their parents’ divorce — spurred by their father Jon’s alleged affair with a school teacher.

“People think we’re supposed to be messed up, like, ‘Oooooh, the poor Gosselin kids, they’re going to be scarred for life, waaaaah,’” adds Mady, who is younger than her twin by six minutes. “Here’s the big news: we’re not messed up.”

“I wish they were a little more innocent in some ways,” Kate says, but admits, “they’re savvy, and they’ve learned things about the world and peoples intentions that took me decades to learn. They’re more aware of their surroundings and can size you up with a glance. They’re nobody’s fools.”

For much more from Kate and the twins, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

The world just might really be ending this year. You want proof? Well, Jon Gosselin has basically admitted to being a huge douche and he is apologizing for his behavior! Yeah…we were shocked when we heard the news, too!

Jon claims that he and Kate are getting along just fine now and that he can’t believe how he acted after they broke up, “I am sorry, because I did stuff I wouldn’t want done to me.” he said. We’re assuming he is talking about his love for Ed Hardy t-shirts…he should be very sorry for wearing those things. Jon is even accepting most of the blame, saying, “I was passive-aggressive. Then I’d get mad, but I was the one who wasn’t communicating.” he told People.

Is this real life? When did Jon turn into a good person? He was not only very apologetic, but he also dropped some knowledge on us, “There are two things you can do with your fame — sell out or take it and use it for good…I didn’t grasp that at the time (of the divorce).” Jon said.

Good for him! We’re happy to know he is finally recovering from douche-itis.

“Fuck coupons!! Now who wants to see me stick my hand in this crocodile’s mouth? I’ll do it for 100 bucks. Ok, 50??”

Kate Gosselin sucks at actually working for a living, because here she is in Brisbane, Australia pretending to care about that crocodile hunter who died doing crazy shit with lions and alligators. Apparently someone invited her to be part of the Steve Irvin day at the Australian Zoo which was reason enough to dump her 4-day old job at CouponCabin.com and fly across the world to pretend she actually gives a rat’s ass about wildlife. “Ouch! This fucking koala just bit my finger off. Die you son of a bitch!! What? We’re on camera??? Please, I beg of you, save the koalas!! They are our future!”

“Oops. What was that noise? Did I just crash one of your brothers? Oh, well, you number #7, you get to have a second bowl of cereal every morning and mommy gets to keep her monthly tanning sessions. Now kids, what did I tell you about seat belts? Completely unnecessary, right?”

All jokes aside, Kate Gosselin’s son had a narrow escape from what would have been a fatal accident on Thursday when he crawled under her van as she sat behind the wheel with the engine on. Apparently she was waiting for the bus to unload her kids but instead of getting out to supervise the whole thing, she stayed in the driver’s seat and waited for all the kids to get in with their backpacks. In the photos you can clearly see the seven-year-old boy climbing beneath the family-size van, with his head ending up immediately behind the right front wheel.

Via RadarOnline:

“A minivan is a 3000-pound lethal weapon and having children crawling around it is not prudent,” KidsAndCars.org president and founder Janette Fennell tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“She should have gotten out of the car to supervise them, especially when you have that many children,” Fennell says “Kids tend to put themselves in harms way in an instant.”

“You should never leave children unattended in or around motor vehicles. Even if they are all capable of getting themselves into the van and getting buckled up, children at that age are unpredictable.”

Here’s Kate Gosselin with her $2 coupon bag going from door to door trying to convince businesses coupons are a goldmine that if used wisely they can magically afford you your two nannies, two housekeepers, an assistant, a bodyguard, a $1.3million estate and private school for 8 rugrats. Kate’s who’s first day on the job yesterday included a stop at the tanning salon (orange sells more coupons) will start her blog on CouponCabin.com on Nov. 22, just in time for those much needed Thanksgiving savings. Listen, we get it, she has a lot of mouths to feed since her gravy train came to a screeching halt in September, but how far can this gig take her? I’m giving her a week or two before she seriously starts considering selling a kid or two to the black market.”Honey, I promise it won’t hurt. And you do have two of them kidneys, so what did the good Lord say about giving, hah??”

Seriously? Are we still talking about Kate Gosselin? There are few ‘celebrities’ I hate more than this baby making machine. I loathe her and everything she stands for. About the only thing I hate more than Kate is her former partner in crime whose name I refuse to mention. I just wish they would both disappear into oblivion, allowing the rest of the world to forget they ever existed. The Gosselins represent for me everything wrong with the world today. They’re greedy, money hungry scum bags willing to sell out their own kids to turn a buck. She popped out eight kids and that makes her famous? That makes her news worthy? The only thing that makes her to me is yet another bored suburban housewife who thinks having more kids to add to the over population and over consumption that is going to destroy the world will make her feel more happy and more fulfilled. Your kids are going to look back on their time on reality TV and hate you. They’ll hate you and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Now that the kids aren’t enough to keep your name in your headlines you’ll take your clothes off to get the flashbulbs popping. The only thing that makes this whole disaster worse is that its working. Here I am writing about you, Kate Gosselin and that makes me feel so dirty I need to go have a shower. No cameras allowed.

Kate Gosselin was spotted in a bikini earlier this morning in Australia along with all 17,852 of her kids. I’m going to hate myself for saying this but she looks pretty good there, seeing how she used to look like 2 greyhound buses parked end to end when she was pregnant with those sextuplets. It’s amazing what money and plastic surgery can do… But more importantly I just realized she has a tattoo right above her lady bits. Which begs the question, what does it actually say? Amused at the thought of it saying “This hole shat out eight kids, all further deliveries in the rear” I decided to make a list of some of the possibilities.

Warning: Dicks must be at least this wide in order to feel my vagina walls

According to PEOPLE, Bryan Masche, star of the reality TV show, Raising Sextuplets was arrested at 2 p.m. on September 11. The father-of-six was charged with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, threatening domestic violence and using profanities. He was also quoted as threatening to "flatten" his father-in-law. The couple allegedly got into a disagreement which then escalated into verbal abuse. The police reported that Bryan, 32, was "becoming more aggressive."

Apparently the couple could not agree on where to drive their six children: Savannah, Bailey, Grant, Cole, Molli and Blake. He wanted to go 200 miles to Lake Havasu but his wife, Jennifer Masche, 29, wanted to drive to Phoenix, a distance of approximately 90 miles from where they were staying.

The new People cover has Kate Gosselin flaunting her body in a white bikini. In the interview, the mom of eight says that she's "the most fit I've ever been" and gives credit to running outdoors near her home in Wernersville, Pennsylvania.

"I've worked really hard!" she exclaims. "Haven't I earned the right, at this point, to look good?"

She does admit to having a tummy tuck after the birth of her sextuplets but denies ever having botox and breast implants.

As for love, is this 35-year-old single mom ready to find it again? She says, "I'm waiting for Mr. Right. It would be nice if somebody noticed me, sure!"

According to Kate Gosselin, 35, there is still a great deal of post-divorce stress between her and her ex-husband, Jon, 32. During an appearance on Live with Regis and Kelly last Friday she spoke with Kelly Ripa and guest host Anderson Cooper about her concerns for their eight children.

It's...you know," she said. "I do try to keep it as peaceful as possible." The level of tension "depends on the day."

The greatest point of contention seems to involve the time the children spend at their father's home. Kate claims, "I basically wait for the phone call from how many of them want to come home." She then went on to say that Jon's apartment "is not [their] home; it doesn't feel like home to them ... they want to be at home -- in their house." She lives nearby in Wernersville, Penn.

It may be that their difficulties arise from the newness of the situation. Kate pointed out that the latest visitation schedule (part of their custody arrangement) is still "new to us. It's only been three months that he's actually been spending time with them and taking them."

After seeing his ex-wife's appearance on television, Jon defended himself via Twitter.

As much as I want to respond to numerous LIES recently claimed on Regis and Kelly, I will refrain. I have learned from the past that it’s a waste of my time and energy. I am 'rising above', and refuse to engage in any sort of public argument that could potentially harm or upset my children. My children and the people in my life know the truth, and that is what's important."

While Kate Gosselin is raking in the ratings on Dancing with the Stars, her ex-husband Jon Gosselin claims to be spending all of his time with the kids. We learned yesterday that Jon plans to fight for custody of their eight children and an insider close to the family says the kids are indeed happier when they’re with Jon. “The kids have always preferred Jon over Kate,” Life & Style reports. “The kids always come in second or third in Kate's life. The nannies have more of a bond with them than her.”

Jon claims that Kate is neglecting the kids while she continues to make money. In the meantime, he can’t afford the thousands in child support because TLC won’t let him work. “When it’s technically her time to be at home and she’s away, Kate doesn't allow Jon over and has nannies stay with the kids,” the insider says. “Jon is just trying to do what is in the best interest for the kids and him."

But is the children's best interest truly Jon's main concern? Further reports state that Jon is going broke, which is why the former reality TV star is seeking primary custody of their eight children. Reportedly, he wants to end his support payments and have Kate pay him.