 
My Despicable Ex

By

Sierra Rose

Copyright 2013 by Sierra Rose

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

She thinks he's despicable. He wants her back...with a vengeance.

Ashly Roberts and Jake Connors are barely twenty when they decide to take the proverbial plunge and walk down the aisle to exchange vows in front of the dearly beloved. Basking in bridal bliss, Ashly feels she is living the perfect fairytale, until she's faced with a runaway groom, dumped at the altar by bad-boy fiancé, Jake Connors.

Five years later, Jake steps back into her life, realizing that being a no-show for their nuptials was the worst mistake of his life. A little older and slightly more mature, he is ready to fight for Ashly's love once again. When Ashly sees him, she can't deny the attraction she feels, but her hormones are overruled by the horror of what he did to her in the past. Nevertheless, Jake's most potent weapon, those dazzling baby blues, ignites a spark in Ashly, no matter how angry she wants to be. She cannot deny the spark, and she only hopes the inferno it ignites will not consume her heart again.

According to the terms of her mother's will, Ashly cannot cash in on her inheritance until she and Jake travel to nearly a dozen locations around the globe. The thought of pairing up with her old flame makes her blood boil, but she has little choice other than to put up with her despicable ex.

Can Ashly put up with Jake through her globe-hopping scavenger hunt to get her family fortune? Will she ever be able to forget or forgive being dumped on her wedding day? When wounds run so deep, is forgiveness even possible between old lovers? Or is it, "Goodbye!" all over again, after everything is said and done?

I'd love to hear your comments or thoughts! Facebook Fan Page:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Romance-Author-Sierra-Rose/638168736195548

Chapter 1

I was born and raised in New York City. Every day, I'm amazed by the breathtaking landscape and awe-inspiring skyline. The Big Apple is, truly, a city that never sleeps. Bright lights, honking taxicabs, and noise are present twenty-four/seven, but somehow, in the midst of all that hustle and bustle and crowded chaos, I found my soulmate. Gazing down at my glittering diamond engagement ring, I couldn't stop smiling.

Jake Connors lived in the Bronx, the son of a housekeeper who worked for a multimillionaire business tycoon. His mother's boss used his personal connections and whipped out his checkbook to help Jake enroll at the same elite private school where I was a student. Jake was smart, but he still had T-R-O-U-B-L-E written all over him. In school, he was reprimanded numerous times and even suspended twice. If it wasn't for his benefactor's connections, he would have been thrown out right on his naughty butt.

Bad boys are irresistible (as any private school girl, teacher's pet, or preacher's daughter will tell you), so of course it wasn't long before Jake and I fell madly in love against my parents' wishes, and the rest is history.

At the ripe old age of twenty, I was about to begin my life as Mrs. Jake Connors. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and excitement and nerves washed through me like a tidal wave. Matchbox Twenty's "Overjoyed" played softly in the background, one of the songs on the playlist I'd put together just for that morning. I loved the way the beading from my wedding gown sparkled under the bright lights of the church.

I pulled the lace material down over my shoulders and turned to gaze at Nadia, my best friend since childhood. Her long blonde hair was twisted and woven into an elegant and elaborate up-do, and her sapphire-blue silk dress and matching heels was a stunning ensemble.

A tear rolled down her face as she adjusted my veil and diamond tiara. "There. You look perfect, just like Cinderella," she said, wiping her eyes. "I know I promised I wouldn't cry, but I'm so happy that your fairytale is finally coming true."

I gushed with emotion. "I've dreamt about this moment my entire life."

Her brown eyes gleamed. "I know. You're gonna be Mrs. Ashly Connors!" she squealed, clapping her perfectly manicured hands together.

I couldn't stop grinning. "I've never loved anyone the way I love Jake."

"And you're putting all those doubters to rest."

"I know. Everyone swore we'd never make it, yet here we are, about to walk down the aisle!" Tears welled up, and I started fanning my face. "This is the happiest day of my life."

She reached for a tissue. "Don't cry. You'll ruin your makeup that I spent so long trying to get just right."

"I-I can't help it," I said, sniffling and in a trembling voice. "I've never ever been this happy and excited."

"This is just the beginning," Nadia said. "You two are going to have a fabulous life together."

I smiled. "We are, aren't we?"

"Definitely!" she said, squeezing my hands in reassurance.

Grinning, my cousin walked in with a dozen red roses. "Looks like somebody sent the bride flowers."

I lit up. "They're beautiful," I said, taking the bouquet to read the card.

"Well? Who sent them?" Nadia asked curiously.

I shot her the widest grin. "Who else? They're from Jake. The card says he's dreamt of this day forever, and that he can't wait for our lives to begin together as husband and wife."

"Aw!" Nadia said. "That's so sweet."

A tear rolled down my cheek. "Is he here yet? I have to go thank him."

"No way, young lady!" Nadia scolded. "As your maid of honor, it is my duty to make sure he doesn't see you before the ceremony. It's bad luck, and we can't have that."

"Then have him come to the door, and I'll open it just a crack."

"He's not here yet," my cousin informed me.

"What!?" My jaw dropped. "He was supposed to be here an hour ago. I just assumed he was with all the groomsmen, because the photographer said he was heading that way to get some pictures. Where do you think—"

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute," my cousin said, cutting me off before I went off into a full-blown panic. "I'll go look for him and tell him his beautiful bride is waiting."

I plastered on a fake smile as she turned around and left. "Hey, Nadia, can you do me a huge favor?" I asked. "Can you tell Jim I need to talk to him?"

She lightly patted my shoulder. "Harassing the best man isn't gonna get your groom here any quicker."

"I know, but...I just know Jake would never be late—not for this. Where's my cell phone?" I asked, frantically digging through my purse. I looked back up at Nadia. "Do you think anything happened, that something came up or—"

"Calm down, Ashly," she said in a soft tone. "I'm sure he's fine. He's probably planning some kind of romantic last-minute surprise."

"You're right. I need to calm down," I said, taking deep breaths, "but I can't. Where the heck is my phone anyway?" I asked, anxiously darting my eyes all around the room. I set the flowers down and smiled when my cell phone rang.

Nadia picked it up from the table. "Here. It was right where you left it."

"I'm such a scatterbrain."

"Well, it's excusable today. You're a bride with a million things running through that pretty little head of yours." She glanced down with a huge smile. "Put all your worries to rest. It's Jake."

"Oh, thank goodness." I breathed a sigh of relief as I reached for the phone. "Jake!" I squealed in excitement. "I got the flowers! They're just gorgeous."

When he didn't say anything, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Why aren't you here yet? And where the heck are you? The ceremony starts in less than thirty minutes."

"Ashly, uh...there's something I need to tell you," as he awkwardly said the words no woman would want to hear on her wedding day.

I clenched my hands into tight fists; something in his voice made me really nervous. "Jake, what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, but...look, I-I just can't do this."

Confusion and shock overwhelmed me. Through the fog in my mind, it took me a minute to realize what he was actually saying. "What do you mean?"

"I can't make it," he said in a grim tone.

I tried to process his words, but everything had begun to spin around me, as if I was caught in some nightmarish hurricane. "What do you mean you can't make it? And why are you so nonchalant? This isn't just some Superbowl get-together with your buddies, Jake! It's our wedding!"

Silence was his only response.

"Babe, are you just getting cold feet or what?" I asked in a panicked voice. "Tell me you aren't seriously considering backing out and leaving me at the alt—"

"Ashly, I'm not ready to get married. I've been thinking about it hard. I'm only twenty years old, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of this—for any of it, really."

Shock flooded over me, and every square inch of me, inside and out, seemed to crumble, as if I'd been hit by a Mack truck. "So you tell me thirty minutes before you're supposed to walk down the aisle? What am I supposed to tell everyone?"

"I'm sorry."

"I love you, Jake. I love you so much. Please don't do this."

He didn't even bother returning those three precious words.

My hand trembled as I held the phone. "We need to talk face to face. I at least deserve that, don't you think?"

"I've gotta go," he whispered.

"Baby, please don't! Jake!" I begged.

Click.

My heart lurched. I frantically called him back, but it just rang and rang. "C'mon, Jakey. Please pick up!" I shouted. A second later, my panic had turned to anger. "Pick up the damn phone." With shaky fingers, I texted him: "U have 2 talk 2 me!"

"It's over. I'm sorry. I think it's best if U never call this # again."

As I gazed down at the heartless, dismissive text, I screamed. The thought of never talking to him again, of never seeing him again, of him not sliding that ring on my finger tore me in two.

"What's wrong?" Nadia asked.

Overcome with a rollercoaster of emotions, I threw my cell phone, shattering it against the wall. "He's backing out. Jake's not coming."

"What?" she questioned in complete disbelief. "Where is he?"

My breath hitched in my throat.

"Ashly?"

"I-I don't know." My heart was beating a million times a minute. "He's not coming," I repeated, my voice barely able to tremble out the words.

She gripped my shaking hands. "What do you mean?"

"He's pulling the plug on our wonderful life," I barely choked out, "and he just told me to never contact him again."

"That's crazy," she retorted. "Why?"

"He says he can't...that he's not ready," I gasped between sobs. "I feel like I've just been hit by a semi, and I didn't even see it coming!"

"He's despicable!" Nadia shouted, pulling me into a close embrace.

Emotion flooded through me, more like a monsoon this time, and I let out a sob so loud I was sure the entire church had heard it. I'd never felt pain and grief rip through me like that. How could he dump me at the altar? He couldn't have told me this last night, before all the guests came, before I got all dressed up like some stupid fairytale princess in this ridiculous dress? Who needs all these beads and lace anyway?

I shouted. I cursed. I cried. He was everything I wanted and more, and now I'd never have him.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Brides are supposed to run away, not grooms! Didn't he ever see that Julia Roberts movie?

I couldn't breathe.

I fell into a pit of despair as my world crashed down around me. I couldn't help wondering what the heck had happened. We'd seen each other the night before, and everything had seemed fine, perfect as always. As usual, we couldn't stop staring into each other's eyes. When we talked about the wedding, he'd seemed more excited than me. As a matter of fact, it was all he talked about, and he said more than once that he couldn't wait to see me in my wedding dress. I thought we shared such a deep connection, that we'd forever be madly in love. Why would he just throw it all away? For what? Why? And why won't he even talk to me about it?

"Nadia," I said, sniffling.

"Yeah? What is it, sweetie?"

"I've changed my mind. This is the absolute worst day of my life."

* * *

Weeks passed, and I continued to mourn my loss of Jake. Every breath and movement took effort. Some days, the pain was so overwhelming that I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't function, and couldn't control the tears. No one understood what I was going through, but everyone tried to be of some comfort on the rough days, and I appreciated that. On other days, I felt like I could manage. I hardly ate and woke up in cold sweats left over from my nightmares. I knew I'd never get over the loss of Jake dumping me, and I'd learned the hard lesson that in the blink of an eye, one's whole world could take a swan dive; the elevator from heaven to hell was a fast-moving one. One minute, my life had been perfect. I'd been a princess with her Prince Charming. Then, in the next, I was a damsel in distress all over again. How will I ever move forward? I wondered. My heart was torn.

Sometimes the grief was so paralyzing that I had to remind myself to breathe. I knew there was no roadmap to get me through the throes of pain, but I hated that it hurt so damn much and for so damn long.

"I love you, Jake...and I miss you," I whispered. "Not a minute goes by when I don't think about you," I muttered, recalling his beautiful face, those captivating features that I missed so much.

Everyone told me it would get easier in time, but it hadn't—not after all those weeks. Knowing I'd never feel Jake's touch, see his beaming smile, or hear his laugh again was almost unbearable. I missed the way he said my name, and it pained me that I wouldn't feel his hand in mine. I'd never be able to look into his beautiful blue eyes again. There would be no more romantic dinners under the stars, no more slow dances, no more romantic birthday celebrations. All of that had been stolen away from me, leaving a giant, gaping hole in my heart.

I could still hear his voice in my head, could still feel his touch. It was something like that old country song I'd heard on the radio somewhere: I couldn't stop loving him. I simply didn't have the strength. As I went through his clothes, I could still smell him. All of my senses told me that he was right there in that room with me, that nothing had changed, but it had. It had all changed for the worst.

Chapter 2

Five years later...

I crossed my legs and glanced out the window, watching the sheets of rain pelt the glass and the ground and the trees. I'd buried my mother three months ago, and I'd finally summoned the courage to hear the reading of her will. Losing her to cancer was like having my heart ripped out. She'd always been such a strong, guiding, domineering force in my life. Sure, she always criticized my friends, choices, and lifestyle, and she totally controlled my dad. She always nagged me for everything she found inappropriate, which was everything from fast food to a minor curse word to a skirt above the knees. In fact, she found fault with me no matter what I did, but I didn't care. She was my mother, a damn good one, and I loved her for it. Beneath that hard exterior of hers, I knew she always had my best interests in mind, and even during her hard-fought battle with that cruel disease, she'd tried to look out for me.

A tear slipped down my face, like the raindrops on the windowpane, as I met my lawyer's gaze. "Can we please get started? Being here is just making all of this more painful."

It was seven p.m., and I'd spent the better part of the day taking high-fashion photos of glamorous models in designer gowns. I still had to review the pictures and write up the article. As a fashion journalist and photographer, I always seemed to have to take work home with me. Honestly, after the day I'd had, I just wanted to take a hot shower and curl up with a good book and an even better glass of wine—anything to take my mind off the pain and loneliness of having yet another precious person ripped out of my life. After her death, I'd cried every night and even at work in the bathroom. In the midst of those emotional meltdowns, I felt the world crashing all around me.

My attorney looked down at his watch. "He's late."

"Who's late?" I inquired.

"Your mother left very specific instructions, and we have to abide by them," he said.

I hoped he'd give me a little clue about who our mystery date was going to be, but he remained secretive and mysterious. Mr. Shelby had been my mother's lawyer for thirty years, and she'd trusted him completely. I knew there was more to the whole thing than he was telling me, and I could tell by his nervous twitch that he was up to no good.

"Please tell me what's going on, Mr. Shelby," I begged. "You know how much I hate surprises."

Lifting a brow, he recited robotically, "I'm sorry, Miss Roberts, but according to the terms of the decedent's Last Will and Testament, I am not permitted to mention his name."

"But who else would she include? All of her closer friends and the rest of my relatives have already received whatever she bequeathed them. I thought I was the only one left."

He picked up a file and smiled a grin that looked even faker than his toupee. "Please just be patient a while longer."

My mind raced with questions. I was really the closest person to my mother. My father had died two years earlier from a heart attack, and I had no siblings. My mother had been a lonely child, so I just didn't get it. We were just a small, close-knit family, so it didn't make sense that she'd brought in an outsider.

Mr. Shelby looked at me. "You may want to check your face. It seems your mascara is running."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, excuse me for crying. This is very difficult for me."

"That's understandable," he said softly, sounding surprisingly human and handing me a tissue.

I pulled out my compact and stared in the little round mirror at my bloodshot hazel eyes. I looked so tired and beat. I used the tissue to wipe the blackish-gray rivers from my cheeks and to touch up my raccoon eyes with the Samsonites under them, then fixed the long brown strands of hair that had insisted on falling out of my French braid. Fortunately, my clothing had stayed pretty much intact; I'd opted for a long-sleeved, covered placket blouse tucked neatly into fashionable black slacks.

A knock on the door made me glance up, eager to see who we'd been waiting for.

"Come in," the lawyer said.

When the heavy walnut door creaked open, my jaw dropped. There, standing before me, was my high school sweetheart, though he somehow looked like a stranger. Speechless, I stared at his beautiful face. His rain-soaked black locks fell around his shoulders in silken ebony waves. My eyes slid up his towering body, gliding over his high cheekbones and the dark stubble shading his sharp jaw.

I felt like I'd been struck by lightning. My breath froze in my throat, and my stomach clenched. The last time I'd seen the man was when he'd stood me up on my wedding day, five years prior. Now, all that loneliness rushed right to my head again, leaving me lightheaded. All over again, I felt like that broken girl in the fluffy white gown, shooing guests away from the ceremony that was not meant to be. I had no idea how to react to such an unexpected intrusion. I couldn't breathe, and the attorney's office seemed to suddenly grow smaller and hotter.

He just stood there, staring at me with those baby blues, those eyes I thought I'd spend the rest of my life getting lost in. He was casually dressed in a white T-shirt that stretched over his broad shoulders and tucked into a tight pair of jeans. He was all grown up, far more muscular than the last time I'd seen him. He was more manly, more masculine, but that didn't stop me from wanting to punch him right in the jaw, just to make him feel the pain I'd felt on the most horrible day of my life. I'd never been more humiliated, shocked, and devastated. It had felt like a bunch of Romans had taken a battering ram and hit my stomach a thousand times. When he'd run away like a coward, when he'd abandoned me, he had, quite literally, knocked the wind right out of me.

We'd spent days, hours, minutes, and countless seconds talking about our new life together, and it was all supposed to be perfect. We'd planned the perfect wedding and the perfect reception. I'd even found the perfect wedding gown, and Nadia had pinned up my hair and perfectly draped my dangling curls around my tiara. We were supposed to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after, but he had prevented that. I would never forget those questions that ran across my mind for months after that dreadful, embarrassing, heartbreaking day: Why wasn't I good enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Sexy enough? What's wrong with me? Aren't I enough of a woman? I had collapsed into my mother's arms, sobbing, and the memory of that stung all the more now that she was gone.

"Ashly," Jake softly said.

As anger flooded through me, I lunged at him and slapped him in the face. "You! You betrayed my love and trust. You're nothing but a spineless, gutless, pathetic coward, Jake! You dumped me, your fiancée, and didn't even bother to call to check on me or see how I was," I said sternly, hoping my slap had stung him as much as his betrayal had stung me.

His frown deepened. "I apologize. Truly. From the bottom of my heart."

I just stared at him in disgust.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here."

"Yeah, you could say that. My mother hated you after what you did to me, so I don't see why she'd leave you anything, and I couldn't blame her, you lying son-of-a—"

"Look, I've got no idea what I'm doing here either. I'm just as confused as you are," he said, cutting me off.

"If you'll have a seat, Mr. Connors," the attorney said, "we'll get started."

My heart rate doubled, then tripled, until I thought might just burst out of my chest. Seeing him again was too much, too painful. Nausea rose from the pit of my stomach. I decided that if I had to vomit, I'd aim for Jake's shoes. I stood and reached for my purse. "No, I don't think I can do this. Sorry."

"Uh...would you like to reschedule?" Mr. Shelby asked.

"I think that would be best," I said, my voice cracking like an adolescent boy's.

As I started to walk to the door, Jake gently reached for my arm, and I shuddered from his touch. I hated that he could still make me feel that way, especially since I despised the man.

"Please..." he begged.

"I just can't," I said, throwing those dreadful words back at him, the three little words he'd spat at me on our would-have-been wedding day, instead of the "I love you" he should have said.

"I'd like to see what your mom wanted to say to me."

"So let me get this straight. You've gone and screwed up your life, and now you're broke, so you're hoping my dead mother left you some expensive vase that you can pawn the second you get your hands on it?"

"Haven't lost that sarcastic edge, have you?" he said.

"I'll tell you one thing I have lost."

He cocked a brow, as if daring me to say it.

"I've entirely lost my desire to date pretty bad boys from the wrong side of town."

"I'm so sorry about what I did, Ashly, but I was young and—"

"How could you dump me like that in front of all my friends and family?" I shouted, cutting him off.

Tired of the drama, the lawyer interrupted. "Folks, if we're going to read the will, we must get on with it. If not, we should reschedule. I don't feel comfortable being in the middle of this very personal argument, and I have a family obligation tonight."

Jake pulled a chair and motioned me to sit down.

"Fine, but you'd better read it fast, because I can't stand being in the room with this jerk a minute longer than I have to be."

Jake met the lawyer's gaze and winced. "In case you didn't notice, she hates me."

"Can you blame her?" Mr. Shelby said, much to my surprise. "You left this beautiful woman at the altar. I was there when she told all of the guests there wouldn't be a wedding. What you did to her was...it was just deplorable."

"Thank you for defending my honor," I said, smiling sheepishly.

"Well, since it's clear that neither of you are in my fan club, is there any way we can make this short and sweet?" Jake asked.

"The pawn shop closed at six," I said. "What's your hurry?"

"Number one. I'm a fireman with a nice sized studio, so please quit treating me like a homeless man. Number two. In case you haven't noticed, you could cut the tension in here with a knife. Then again, I'm more worried that you're gonna cut me with this guy's letter opener if I'm here much longer."

"You never should have come back, Jake."

"I'm sorry if my presence upsets you."

"You didn't even thank my mom for getting those assault charges dropped. Even after everything you did, my mother used her connections and helped you out. She only did that because I begged her to. I loved you so much that I couldn't bear to see you hauled off to jail. Now, I'd like to put the cuffs on you myself and throw you in a hole where you'll never see the light of day."

"I only punched that guy because he nearly tried to rape you. You know that as well as I do."

"Ahem." The lawyer cleared his throat. "Are you both ready, or would you like a little bit more time to discuss things?"

"If you don't mind, Counselor, I'd like to talk to Ashly alone," Jake said.

I shook my head and vehemently proclaimed, "Not a chance!"

Wanting to get it all over with, the attorney ignored Jake's request and began with the proceedings. I almost tuned him out as he went over all the legalities of the will. Anger flooded through me like a stormy ocean, and I couldn't even think straight, let alone focus. I was fuming. What is he doing here anyway? Why in the hell would my mother give him anything? She had begged me to break it off with him countless times. She'd told me constantly that he'd never amount to anything, warned me that he was a loser, and she'd yelled at the top of her lungs, "My daughter deserves better!"

I took a quick peek at Jake as he wiped the water from his brow. My mind drifted back to months after the breakup. I dreaded telling people I was single. Nadia encouraged me, telling me my renewed bachelorette status was going to be a fun and wonderful experience, but I only considered it a punishment, as if I'd committed some terrible crime that had pissed fate off. I was sure nobody could ever love me again. Nadia assured me that wasn't the case, but I refused to listen. My world had crumbled and shattered all around me. Maybe if I was prettier, sexier, or smarter, Jake would've stuck around, I told myself. I felt upset, worthless, and beyond depressed. "What did I do that was so wrong?" I often asked. Nadia was insulted by such questions and made me write down a list of twenty-five things that I loved about myself. Learning to value and accept myself had helped with the healing process, and eventually I did feel a little bit better, but there was no therapy that could help me put my broken heart back together; Jake had, after all, taken some of the biggest pieces with him.

"Are you listening?" he asked. "Did you hear what the man just said?"

"What?"

His eyes were wide in shock. "Your mother left her estate and the sum of fifty million dollars to...us."

"What!?" I shouted, standing back up. "Why would she leave anything to him?" I pointed to the will. "Check it again. This has to be some kind of mistake!"

"My team and I were the ones who put it together," my attorney said. "Your mother's intentions were quite clear."

"No! My mother would never do that, not in a million years." The room started to spin, and everything grew hotter. He handed the official documents to me. As I ran my fingers over the raised notary seal and stared down at the words and my mother's signature, I couldn't believe my eyes. Why?

"She did not just flatly leave the money to him. There are some, uh...stipulations to getting the money," my lawyer said.

I sucked in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. I was frazzled, confused, and discombobulated all at once. "What kind of stipulations?"

"I think it's best that you sit down, Ashly," Jake said. "Let's figure this out together."

I didn't want to obey a word he said, but I sat down and tried to keep my composure. I knew lashing out at Jake wouldn't change the instructions my mother had left. I wanted to ask more questions, but at that point, I could barely breathe. I was on the verge of hyperventilating, and the last thing I wanted was for either of those two to give me mouth-to-mouth.

"Take slow, deep breaths, Miss Roberts," my lawyer coaxed.

"In and out deeply," Jake chimed in.

I stared into his eyes. "I'm not giving birth here, and even if I was, you sure as hell wouldn't be my labor coach."

"C'mon, Ashly. I'm just trying to help."

"Shut up, Jake," I said. "I don't need your help. I don't need anything from a coward like you."

He let out a huff and turned back to the lawyer. "What are these so-called stipulations?"

"Miss Roberts's mother, Virginia, chose several locations around the world that you must visit together. Everything will be paid for, and you will be given an ample allotment of funds for food, personal items, and traveling expenses. In order to fulfill the requirements, you will have to provide a photograph of the two of you together at each destination." He then turned his gaze to me. "Your mother referred to these as 'Kodak moments'. When you obtain all the pictures, come back to my office for verification. If they are legitimate, each one of you will be given twenty-five million dollars of your mother's fortune."

Jake and I met each other's gaze, staring for a long, stunned, silent moment.

Finally, he let out a long breath. "Whoa. I can't even imagine that amount of money. It's just...huge."

My lawyer crossed his hands on the cherry wood desk. "Each picture must be an eight-by-ten, depicting something that proves you were at each destination together."

"So no Photoshopping, eh?" Jake joked.

Rolling his eyes at Jake, Mr. Shelby continued, "Virginia paid in advance to have the photos examined for originality and authenticity. I wouldn't dream of making that mistake."

"How long do we have for this little globe-trot?" he questioned.

"You must complete the entire trip, stopping at each destination one after the other, within the next twelve months."

"And exactly where do we have to go?" I asked.

He handed me the list.

As I looked down at the names of the exotic locations, I couldn't believe it. "What the...? Japan? South Africa? Paris?" I shook my head. "None of this makes any sense. My mother was on hefty morphine in her last days, and she babbled a lot of incoherent stuff. I think we should consider that and burn this will. She clearly wasn't of sound mind when she—"

"Burn it?" Jake said in disbelief. "Why? Just because I'm in it?"

My lawyer looked at me. "Miss Roberts, your mother made this will a few weeks after she found out she had cancer. She was, in fact, of very sound mind at the time, and this was what she wanted. If you are successful in this endeavor, there is a video diary that will be shown to you, and her reasons will become clear. However, you must first complete the task in good faith."

It was such a bizarre request, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why the heck my mother would want me to spend time with a man she openly deplored, the selfish jackass who had left me at the altar and embarrassed our entire family. I didn't understand any of it. Worst of all, she hadn't even discussed it with me; as far as I knew, my mother never kept secrets from me. Frustrated, I handed the list to Jake.

He studied it closely. "We can get some of these done fast."

I bit my lip hard and didn't say a word.

"We just have to be together in the picture, right? But we can be far apart, no handholding or smooching?" he asked.

I shot him a glare.

"What?" he said. "I know you'll bite my head off if I invade your personal space, so I'm just asking. Always good to read the small print."

"You won't have to worry about that," I said smugly, "because I don't want the money. You can go on this little adventure by yourself."

Mr. Shelby turned to Jake. "I'm sorry, but if Miss Roberts doesn't go with you to the locations, the contract will be null and void."

"And what about the money?" I asked.

"It will be held by this office indefinitely."

Jake looked at me with his eyes wide. "Ashly," he said softly, "if you don't do it, I'll get nothing."

"Yeah, I got that much, Einstein."

"There's so much I could do with this money. And why give away your inheritance to a lawyer? I can't believe you'd do that just to get back at me. At least if you go, you'll get half of what your mom left behind."

"I don't care about the money," I said. "Revenge is so much sweeter. Maybe that's why Mom planned it this way. She knew I'd sit here and let you suffer, you pitiful idiot. How's it feel for someone to dangle something great in front of you, only to have it snatched away?"

"I'm so, so sorry."

"Is that all I get? Some lame apology? I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you, a man I foolishly loved and cherished. But you threw me under the bus for your freedom. You're pathetic! What was it Nadia called you? Despicable!"

"Maybe you two need some time to think," the attorney said. "Now that the will has been read, you have one week to change your minds. If you'd like to proceed, just contact my office and come in and sign the papers."

"I don't plan on changing my mind. If my mother thought I was gonna prance around the globe with this idiot and smile for pictures, she was sadly mistaken."

"We don't even have to smile," Jake said. "You don't even have to be near me, except to take pictures. Why not just do it and get our money? After that, we can go our separate ways—just a little wealthier."

"If you'll have a seat, Mr. Connors," the lawyer said, "we'll get started."

I stood and reached for my purse. "No, I don't think so." Seeing Jake had been too great of a shock. I had cried my eyes out over him for way too long, and I wasn't ready to hand my mother's money over to the man who had hurt me so badly. "I think it would be best if I just go," I said, my voice cracking.

Again, Jake reached for my arm, and again, I shuddered from his touch. "Please," he begged.

"I can't control what you do and where you live, but you'd better stay as far away from me as humanly possible. If you come near me or bug me, I'll slap a restraining order on you so fast, your head will be spinning."

"Listen, I promise to leave you alone if that's what you want. I was really just hoping to spend some time with you, but if you feel this strongly, I...well, I won't cause you any further heartbreak."

"Spend some time with me? What!? You never wrote or emailed me to tell me what happened, not in five long years, so why should I care now? I'm so over you, that it's not even funny."

"I thought you'd want closure."

"Nope. I don't care anymore. You're just the worst mistake I ever made, and I want to forget about you forever. So why don't you just respect my wishes and leave?"

"Because this money would help... It'd help so much."

"So now you want to take advantage of something my mom wrote when she was out of her mind, just diagnosed with a deadly disease? Really, Jake."

"I'm so sorry about what I did, Ashly, but I was young. I was facing a four-year prison term for punching out that guy, for defending you."

"You got scared and ran for your freedom, Jake. There's no excuse for running away, young or not."

"Don't be bitter," he said.

My jaw dropped. "Bitter?" I repeated, then shifted my gaze to my lawyer for help. "Did you hear that? Can you believe the nerve?"

My lawyer sighed and squirmed uneasily in his seat. "I really think we need to tie up this will and decide if you two are going to go through with—"

"I haven't seen this idiot since he high-tailed it from our wedding, without giving me any logical explanation. Did you think I was gonna greet him with a big smile and a warm hug?"

"Ashly," Mr. Shelby said.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm out of line. It's just that...well, seeing him here has thrown me for a real loop."

Jake motioned for me to sit down again and looked at me with that sad look on his face. We stared into each other's eyes. For countless years, I'd wondered if I'd ever see him again, and now, there he was, right before my very eyes. His hair was wet and messy from the wind and rain, and I couldn't deny that he looked so damn sexy. Still, I'd closed that chapter of my life and had painfully turned through the next hundred pages. Finally, I'd gotten back on my feet. Now, I was faced with that first chapter all over again, and I felt like throwing the book against the wall.

I was trying to hate him, but I couldn't stop staring at his powerful biceps and huge, solid chest. I had no doubt that under his thin T-shirt, he had rippling muscles and six-pack abs. I remembered when we'd first met, how he'd made me laugh right from the get-go. All the memories that I had desperately tried to block out came flooding back like it had all happened yesterday: his laugh, his lips, his touch, and his kiss. We'd been so deeply, so madly in love.

His deep, passionate kisses were something I'd never ever forget, no matter how many years passed and how many lovers I invited into my bed. No one would ever compare to Jake. Of course, none of that mattered. I would never forget his betrayal; it had rocked me to the very core of my being. His sweet talk would never work on me again.

I shook my head. "You don't get it, do you?"

He inched closer. "What?"

A tear ran down my face. "I was supposed to be living a happy life with you."

"So this is about revenge now? You just want to stick it to me. That's why you won't go on this trip your mother wanted us to take?"

My lips pressed into grim lines. "Yep. You stuck it to me, and Mom has given me the perfect way to stick it back to you."

"That's cold, Ashly. You have no idea how much that money would change my life."

"Cold? Maybe, but you made me. Because of you, I've been cold, mean, and miserable. You shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces."

"Maybe, but I'm a different man now."

I stared at him.

"Hey," he said in a soft voice, trying to change the subject, "how's Tiger?"

Tiger was a white and orange striped cat we'd adopted when she was only a kitten, a stray who had followed us home. We both loved her, and she'd become a part of the family.

"Is she even still alive?" he asked.

"She's fine and, unlike you, she sleeps by me every night." With that, I turned to leave. I half-expected him to follow me, but he didn't. Without another word to him or the attorney, I slammed the door, making sure Jake knew he could screw off and leave me alone—for good.

Chapter 3

The next night, my best friend Nadia dragged me out of the house for dinner. She took me to one of my favorite restaurants, Devin's.

"I'm worried about you," she said. "You've been a hermit in your apartment ever since your mom passed away."

"I know it's been three months, but it's hard to face the outside world. Interviewing designers and models seems so...shallow and pointless. I can't just pretend nothing's wrong, and..." Not sure what else to say, my voice drifted off.

"I just wanted to get you out," Nadia said, "especially with the whole Jake thing. You can't stay all cooped up, just reflecting back on what that ass did to you. It isn't healthy."

My cell rang, and I glanced down. "Speak of the devil." The last time he'd called me was the day he'd walked out of my life forever. Now, he was just after my mother's money.

"He's not gonna give up, Ash," she said. "Why don't you let me answer it? I'd like to thank him for that trip to Mexico."

I laughed, even though it wasn't funny. My mother had spent $20,000 to reserve a honeymoon suite at the most expensive tropical resort she could find. Since it was nonrefundable, I decided to take Nadia. During that trip, she forced me to leave the room and tried to hook me up with a couple of hunky Latinos, but I was so miserable I just sulked the entire time, seething as I looked around the frilly, romantically furnished room that was supposed to be for lovers.

With a huff, I turned off my phone. "He even stopped by the apartment, but I didn't answer the door. When I saw him through the curtains, my stomach dropped."

Her expression grew serious. "If he keeps stalking you, you need to call the police. He has no right."

"I want to get over this. I do, but—"

"Girlfriend, he's a jerk. You're better off without a man like that in your life. I mean, I was there that horrible day when he didn't show up. We'd spent so long planning the perfect wedding. I'll never forget how happy you were at the bridal shop when we found the dress, with all that light sparkling off the sequins and beads."

"Remember how rude the owner was?" I laughed. "I thought brides were supposed to be the –zillas!"

"Yeah, she owned that little bridal shop of horrors."

I about spat out my wine.

"She got mad because you tried on so many dresses."

"No, I think she got mad because I didn't like the designer one she picked. It looked good on the mannequin, but not on me. But you put her in her place."

"Well, that's what friends are for," she said, shrugging. "You're my best friend, you were getting married, and if you needed all the time in the world and to try on 100 more gowns, she could deal with it."

"She just knew how rich my mom was and wanted me to buy the most expensive thing in there. I hate being treated that way."

"Yeah, well, it worked out to go to that bridal shop an hour away, where nobody knew who you were."

"Yep! And I bought the same cheap gown I wanted in the first place." I reached into my purse and pulled out a picture of me in my wedding gown.

Nadia reached for it and stared. "So beautiful. It's a shame you burned it."

"That dress was chosen especially for him. I didn't want the memories."

"Then why are you carrying this picture around?"

"I haven't been. I dug it up last night after seeing Jake."

She dug in her purse and reached for her lighter. "Let's burn this now."

I let out a long breath. "Go ahead," I said, keeping it to myself that I had two more photos just like it in my purse.

The low-burning, flickering orange flame engulfed the picture, and Nadia dumped her glass of ice water over the ashy remnants.

"You're gonna get us kicked out of here," I said, sopping up the water, "or arrested for attempted arson."

The waitress came rushing over. "You can't do that here! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

Nadia glanced up at her and grinned. "I'm sorry. I suppose I got carried away, but we were burning up a very bad memory."

"See, I was dumped on my wedding day and..." I chimed in, but I couldn't bear to go on with my sordid, heartbreaking tale, especially not to a complete stranger.

Her face softened, and I swallowed hard, ashamed that I'd opened my big mouth; I'd never been one for pity parties. "You don't have to say another word," she said. "Just save the rest of your pictures for a big, roaring bonfire in your backyard. Burn his clothes and all his stuff. That'll teach him." With that, she smiled and walked off.

I swirled the wine in my glass. "You should've seen him. He's been working out, and he looked so hot."

"I know. I saw him."

"What!? When?"

"At your mother's funeral."

I cocked a brow. "Oh. I didn't even know he was there."

"Yeah, well, he kinda lingered back in the shadows. He wanted to pay his respects without upsetting you even more."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Honey, you were a hot mess. None of us wanted to add to your sadness."

"Did you talk to him?"

"We were all best friends in high school, so yeah, but I really let him have it in the parking lot. He just kept telling me how young and scared he was."

"So he lives here now?"

"He said he moved back from Texas a few days before your mom passed. He's a firefighter, and his job transferred him here. I bet he asked for the transfer so he could be back with his family and, uh...his friends," she said, touching my arm.

"I'm glad you didn't tell me," I said. "I'm not sure I coulda handled seeing him at my mother's funeral."

"Oh, while I'm thinking of it, I sketched some images for the fall line." She handed me a sketchbook.

I studied the designs. "Wow. Bold, daring, and beyond stylish. I love them."

She smiled. "I hoped so."

"Any word on the loan yet?"

"Not yet, but we'll know for sure by tomorrow or the next day."

"We're gonna soar, girl. I want to cater to all women—slim, tall, petite, and plus-sized."

"Yep. Just think of us as female entrepreneurs using fashion to empower women and design a better world."

"That should be our slogan," I said. "I can't wait to turn our fantastic ideas into a successful business."

"You're always so...motivating, and you always make me feel so smart, stylish, and business savvy. I feel like I can touch the moon."

I winked. "You can."

She smiled, then paused. "I have a big favor to ask."

"What?"

"Do you think you could look after the boutique tomorrow? I've gotta take my mom to a last-minute doctor's appointment two hours from here. It's with some fancy specialist, so we don't want her to have to reschedule."

"Hmm. I have a big article to write, and the deadline is tomorrow night."

"All you have to do is write your opinion about the fancy party you attended."

"Well, I also have to detail all the fashion aspects and choose the accompany photos out of all the ones I took."

"Can't you do it at the shop? Just download your pics to the computer."

"You're right. I can do that and crop them and stuff. Don't worry. I'll cover for ya."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Between working my real job that paid the bills and working at the boutique, I rarely had time to myself, but I couldn't refuse to help a friend.

"Oh, and some more inventory came in from the Hope Collection. Can you take care of it?"

I smiled. "Of course. I'm on it."

"As always. Thank you so much. Speaking of that, we need to ship out all those online orders too. I took care of about half of them."

"I'll get the rest shipped out."

"You're a gem." Nadia slipped a wad of cash into the black folder that held the check. "Listen, Ashly, I gotta run. Darrin's waiting for me at home. It's movie night, and he's already a little peeved at me for working all those hours at the boutique last week. It took me forever to categorize that order for the Moonlight Collection."

"You've been working too much and too hard, Nadia. I would've helped more, but I had that big assignment last week with my job."

"I know. It's hard doing both."

"Well, you guys have fun and enjoy your movie. Tell Darrin I said hello."

"I will. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Thanks for dinner, by the way. It was nice to get out for a change."

She smiled widely. "That was the game plan."

I grinned, and she walked away. It was eight p.m., and I dreaded going home to my lonely apartment. Most of all, I didn't want to think about Jake. His betrayal was still too much to bear, and sulking and crying my eyes out didn't seem like the ideal way to spend a Friday night.

I turned my phone back on to see if I'd missed any important messages. Just as I was about to turn it off again, the phone rang, and Jake's number was on the caller ID. I sighed and answered it. "Jake, this needs to end right now. Please stop calling me."

"Ashly! You finally answered."

"I'm not sure why. There's nothing left to say," I said sternly.

"Please just hear me out," he said, his voice deep and pleading. "Will you just have one drink with me? I'm at the White Coyote."

"No."

"Okay. I respect that. Actually, I deserve it. But if you change your mind, I'll be here till midnight."

"I'd love to meet you, but my boyfriend wouldn't like that so much...and he really wouldn't want me to go gallivanting around the country with you either."

He chuckled.

"I'm glad you find my love life so amusing."

"You haven't seen anyone in over a year."

I was livid. "And what makes you think that? Have you been spying on me?"

"We hang out in the same circle of friends, sweetheart. They told me."

"Goodbye, Jake," I said, furious and hanging up the phone.

Chapter 4

During my drive home, Jake tried calling a few more times, but I refused to pick up, growing angrier by the moment. How dare he step back into my life after what he did!? How dare he keep calling me like this? I threw the phone on the passenger seat.

I needed to see him, though, just so I could personally tell him how pissed off I was. I needed to vent. I hadn't done a suitable or satisfying job of that back at the lawyer's office, and I needed closure. Watching that photo melt into nothingness at the restaurant had been a good start, but I needed more. I had never had the chance to confront him for ditching me at the altar; like the coward he was, he had just split and hopped on the first plane out of there. He didn't even have the nerve to say goodbye or leave a number where I could reach him. He just vanished into thin air and had been gone for years. None of our so-called "circle of friends" knew where he had disappeared to, and his family refused to tell me anything. He'd helped me earn the title of a jilted bride, and I was an authority on getting dumped.

Worst of all, my ex-boyfriend, my ex-loser, couldn't face me after ruining our fairytale big day. He'd made it clear that he wasn't trustworthy or dependable. Most painfully of all, he proved that he didn't love me and probably never had. Anyone who could stomp on my heart so easily couldn't possibly have had one of his own.

I opened the door to my house and thought about the black and white pictures I'd taken of Jake all those years ago. I'd always been a photography buff and had started snapping photos at the ripe old age of ten. I'd often fantasized about the great adventures I could have taking beautiful pictures all over the world, but as a teenager, I developed an interest in fashion, so my job now combined my two great loves.

After Jake left me, I attended Parsons Fashion School, where I took classes in fashion photography and journalism. I got a job as a fulltime fashion journalist with Blare's Fashion, which showcased high-end fashion clothing and accessories. I knew the company would push the limits of my creativity. I covered fashion shows and events, interviewed important people in the world of fashion, wrote articles, took pictures, responded to breaking news, created stories for the Web, and performed several other tasks.

I also had many dreams of my own. After starting a new line with Nadia, I wanted to start my own magazine. I was sure I knew everything there was to know. After all, I had drowned myself in work for years, ever since that despicable loser had left me feeling empty.

Suddenly, I recalled my memory box that I stored in the basement. I rushed down the stairs and dug through piles of junk, boxes, and bags, until I found it. I quickly thumbed through the pictures and found my favorite one: him, standing naked against a black wall, covering his manhood with his hands. I'd created shadows to cover the top part of his face, giving him a mysterious and intriguing look. The black and white image was amazing, and I wondered how the same shot would look with his more mature, much more muscular body.

I stared at the picture, then looked at all the others, recalling just how happy and in love we had once been. I hadn't looked upon those memories, those snapshots of our moments, in years. Nadia told me to burn them, but I couldn't bear to for one reason or another. Not only were those pictures the embodiment of the beginning of my career, but they were also remnants of precious, albeit painful, memories. Jake had, after all, bought me my first Nikon camera, and I used it all the time and snapped pictures of anything and everything.

When I wasn't shooting pictures, I used my tripod to capture so many wonderful shots of us together. I picked up the picture of Jake and me at the river, holding what appeared to be the world's biggest bass; we had equally huge smiles on our faces. Then I looked at the pictures of us snuggled up together on a blanket in the grass, so carefree and clueless to the dark fate that loomed ahead for us. There was even a picture he took of me, smiling as I held up my finger to show off my engagement ring. It wasn't big and fancy, but I didn't care. Unlike my mother, I had never cared much about money. I loved Jake for who he was, and I couldn't have cared less if that ring had been made out of tin foil and plastic gems. The one thing I wanted it to be was true, and in the end, it was just a lie.

When Jake crashed into my life, I was a fifteen-year-old; a good girl who had never broken the rules. He was the biggest, bad boy at our school, and my mother was horrified when I started dating him. When I told her I loved him, she cried. According to my mother, he didn't fit in at all. She saw him as a troublemaker, a poor kid who lived on the wrong side of town in the projects. She didn't think he was good enough for me, because his father was in jail and his mother had a drug addiction. My mother begged me to end it with him so many times, but I didn't care what she said. I loved him, in spite of his faults and his socioeconomic difficulties. Because she'd been so dead-set against us being together, I had to wonder why my mother would ask, postmortem, for us to prance around the world together. Her will made absolutely no sense.

As I thought about that, I realized I had to see Jake, even if I wasn't sure why. I was in a daze, not even thinking straight. I did need closure, the chance to really say goodbye, which I'd not been granted before.

I also needed to change into something sweet, sassy, and sexy, just to show him what he'd missed out on. I slipped into my dark-wash designer jeans and a black lace strapless top with beaded heels. In the lawyer's office, my hair had been pulled back in a French braid, but this time, I was going to let it down. After curling my hair, I gave myself that smoldering, smoky-eye look that made my hazel eyes pop. I pushed my breasts up to give him a glimpse of my cleavage. I worried that I might be showing off too many curves and that maybe I should tone it down a bit, but in the end, I decided he deserved to be tortured with what he would never be able to touch again.

Practically flooring it, I sped to the White Coyote. I took a moment to gather my nerves, then walked into the bar. Music played, and people laughed and chatted. I scanned my surroundings until my gaze fell on Jake, who was shooting pool. When he let out a laugh at his failure to sink the purple ball, it jarred my memory; I remembered that deep, delicious laugh, the one I could have spent hours listening to. I watched him lean over the pool table. His faded blue jeans clung to his perfect ass like a second skin. Huge muscles bulged through his tight T-shirt as he made the next shot and then reached for his beer bottle that sat on the rim of the pool table.

All of the sudden, as if he'd caught a whiff of me or was somehow psychically aware of my presence, he met my gaze and gave me that familiar, sexy smile. Tousled hair in disheveled waves skimmed the collar of his T-shirt as he said, "Wow. You look absolutely stunning."

Mission accomplished, I thought, throwing a little more sway in my walk as I approached him.

He motioned around him. "I'd introduce you, but I'm sure you know all these guys," he said.

"Most of them," I responded, waving to everyone.

They all stared at me and gave an awkward wave back; whether it was compassion, pity, or shock that I'd even shown up, I couldn't tell.

"Can I get you a drink?" Jake asked.

Ed smiled. "She doesn't look like she's here for a beer, man. Get her some champagne."

"Ashly's always been a classy woman," Mike said.

"Mike!" I said, blushing. "You know I'm just one of the regular folks." I grinned.

Mike walked over and gave me a friendly hug. "I've missed you, girl. It's been years." He kissed me on the cheek. "I heard you and Nadia started a fashion line and even own a boutique."

Jake smiled at me. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. We've got big plans, and we've gotta start somewhere."

"Reach for the stars, I always say. Anyway, we'll catch up later," Mike said. "I know seeing Jake again must be, uh...quite the shock," he whispered.

"I didn't mean to lose touch," I said. "I just..."

He winked. "Don't even worry about it. Just give me a call sometime, and we'll play catch-up over lunch. I'm in the phonebook."

"Definitely," I promised.

Another one of his buddies slapped me on the back. "Does Jake still look the same?"

"I'm sure any minute, Earth will fall off its axis from all his hotness," I said sarcastically.

They all laughed, and I could only grin.

Jake finally managed to tear his gaze away from my cleavage and smiled. "How about that drink?" he offered again, sounding like he needed it more than I did.

I pushed my long brown tresses behind my ears. "Thank you, but I won't be staying long."

"I was hoping we could catch up," Jake said.

Right on cue, another of Jake's friends walked in and hugged me. "Ashly! It's been years. You must be here for Jake."

"Yes, I'm here to talk to my absentee groom. And I was the dumpee, so get your stares and whispers out of the way or forever hold your peace."

Most of his friends just said hello, then left. Either they wanted to give Jake a little privacy or they were too uncomfortable to face me.

"Look," I said. "I chased your entourage away." I blinked. "Imagine that. It seems I still have that effect on people. I mean, I did somehow chase you away on our big day."

"I asked them to leave so we could have a little privacy, Ashly. I know the White Coyote isn't the best place to meet to hash out our differences, but I couldn't have you going off on me at a restaurant or something."

"So you're expecting me to go off on you?"

"I know I deserve it. What I did was rotten, and I've never been able to forgive myself." He inched closer. "I'm so sorry, Ashly. If I could take it all back, you know I would."

I reached into my purse and grabbed one of the pictures of me in my lovely wedding gown. "Since you never got to see me in my wedding dress, here," I said, shoving it into his hand.

He glanced down and pondered for a long moment. "Wow. You're so beautiful. I was such an idiot."

"You got that right. How could you just leave like that, Jake? How could you do that to me? And the worst part was that you humiliated me in front of all our friends and relatives. I didn't deserve that."

"Ashly, you know as well as I do that I never fit in with your rich family. I was a bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks."

"But love conquers all, right? I didn't care, and you shouldn't have cared either."

"We were so young. I had just turned twenty, and..." he said, trailing off before he blurted out yet another lame excuse.

Images flooded into my mind. I remembered Nadia helping me take down all of his pictures a few weeks after what I'd deemed Black Saturday. I'd felt shock and rage, depression, and the most intense loneliness anyone could ever feel. For weeks, I couldn't get out of bed, and taking a shower and getting dressed seemed like pointless, impossible chores. After Jake walked out of my life without ever looking back, Nadia also helped me pack up his belongings. I cleared out the medicine cabinet and threw out his blue toothbrush in the wastebasket, one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I learned the hard way just how much heartbreak could hurt. I worked through the pain eventually, and that helped me to get on with my life, but if it weren't for my job, friends, and family, I never would have survived the havoc that Jake wreaked on me. I still wasn't sure I'd ever get past the anger completely, because it was still sitting like a lump in the pit of my stomach.

"Ashly?"

I snapped back into reality and stared at his blue eyes glittering in the dim light.

"Do you want me to beg?" Jake asked. "Please. If you hate me, that's fine, but let's go on this trip, take these pictures. We'll stay strictly in the friend zone, and I promise I won't even talk to you unless I absolutely have to. After that, we can go our separate ways, and you'll never have to see me again."

"Jake, you put me through a living hell. I'm only here so I could tell you that in person. How could a man declare his undying love the night before his wedding, then just leave minutes before he's supposed to walk down the aisle?" Before he could answer, I continued, "There's nothing more I can say, and it doesn't really matter anyway, does it? We can't go back in time and fix things. What's done is done, and I have to move forward with my life. I just wished you would've left me a box of tissues that morning instead of a dozen red roses."

"You're pissed, and I don't blame you. But you're just gonna walk away from your inheritance, your mother's dying wish, because you can't stand the sight of me?" he asked.

"Something like that," I said, then turned and started making my way to the door.

"Ashly, please don't go."

I ignored him and hurried to my car, hoping he wouldn't jump on the hood and confess his false, undying love for me just so he could dupe me a second time.

* * *

The next day after work, Nadia knocked on the door. When I opened it, she looked frantic, totally out of character for her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"The bank didn't give us the loan." She strolled into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, and poured herself a glass of wine from my fridge, then downed half the glass in one gulp. "Our dreams of running our very own fashion business are going down the drain. We don't have any money left, and we're going to be thrown out. Our boutique will go down in flames, Ashly! What are we gonna do?"

"Our clothes are different from the competition's. We stick it out, Nadia."

She poured a glass of wine for me. "Not if we can't get noticed. Our boutique's just starting to take off, but not enough to pay the high mortgage. I tried talking to the owner, and when that didn't work, I resorted to flirtation and cleavage. I don't know what a girl's supposed to do when neither begging nor boobs works."

"We just need to get our ideas off the ground."

"There's no time. We have to be out by next month, and building a fashion brand doesn't happen overnight."

I swallowed hard. "Yeah. I'll ask Mr. Hanford for an extension."

"Good luck. He's not an understanding or flexible man, and he obviously doesn't care about push-up bras either. He just wants his money. Our boutique is on prime property on Fifth Avenue, and he has two other business associates begging him for our space."

"We can't lose that spot. Location is everything."

"I agree." She sighed heavily. "Look, Ashly, I never would ask you this if there were any other way, but..."

I cocked my head when she paused and trailed off, wincing a bit.

"You need to take that trip with Jake. It's the only way to save our boutique and everything we're working so hard for."

"What!?" I shouted. "No! No way."

"I know he hurt you bad, but you don't even have to talk to him. Just give him the cold shoulder and take those crazy pictures your mom demanded. Turn them into your lawyer, and you'll have more than enough money to keep us going."

"No, Nadia. I mean...I just...I can't."

"Take the damn pictures, Ashly," she said, patting my shoulder.

"I can't leave you alone with the boutique for all that time," I said, making excuses.

"I can handle it, and I can hire my sister for cheap to help out. Please take that dream vacation—for the sake of our dreams."

I glanced down at the floor, as if it could give me answers. "You have no idea what you're asking, Nadia."

She pondered. "I do, and I'm sorry I had to ask," she said. "I understand if you can't do it though," she said, heading for the door. Over her shoulder, she sadly announced, "We gave it our best shot. That's the important thing."

"Nadia!" I called, but she ignored me and ran out the door. I pondered for a few minutes, then grabbed my purse and hailed a taxi. I directed the cabbie to drive to my boutique.

After he dropped me off and I paid the fare, I walked up to the display window, pressed my palm on the cold glass, and stared back at my own reflection. I looked at the mannequins, dressed in creations I'd spent countless hours designing. Then I opened the doors and switched on the lights. I spun in a slow circle and looked at all racks of clothing, trendy outfits in all sizes for less than fifty bucks. That place was my dream.

The décor in our boutique played a vital role in our success. We kept the atmosphere modern and contemporary, with a huge black dresser in the corner, its top drawer open for accessories and the jewelry Nadia designed, from crystal earrings and necklaces to beaded bracelets. We furnished the place with big, comfy chairs and lounge benches with cushions, as well as mirrors, lights, display cases, deep shelves in the wall, dressing rooms, a sitting area, and a public bathroom.

The thought of losing our business was devastating, and I knew I couldn't let that happen as long as I had a way to prevent it. How hard can it be to take some stupid pictures with an idiot I won't even have to talk to? I'll just stay as far away from him as possible and only get close when we have to take photos.

I frantically dialed Nadia's number. When she picked up on the third ring, I said, "I'll do it."

Ecstatic, she screamed so loud, my ears began to ring. "Awesome!" she squealed.

"I've got to make the arrangements and call my idiot traveling companion."

"Look, Ashly, I know you're taking one for the team, and I can't thank you enough."

"I'll grin and bear it...but you so owe me for this."

"Owe you? You're gonna be rich. You'll have twenty-five million dollars for putting up with that ass for a couple of photo sessions."

"A couple? Try almost a dozen of them, all in different locations!"

"Don't cop out now. We need this. Promise me you'll put up with the ass. Think of it as a horrible, horrible job assignment. Don't even talk to him. Just get the photos and hurry back. I'll have a stiff drink waiting for you the second you get off the plane."

"I'll do my best. I just hope I can handle spending all that time with Jake."

"If you feel like leaving, promise you'll call me first."

"So you can talk me out of it?"

"Absolutely!" She let out a breath. "Listen, if it hurts that bad, don't put yourself through it. We'll find another way. We'll survive. We always do."

"No, I'm gonna do it, even if it means losing half to Jake. I can't give up all of my mother's money, and if I don't do this, everything will go to the lawyer, who's already filthy rich. I like the guy, but the thought of that just makes me cringe."

"It's your money now, girlfriend. Go get it."

I smiled. "I will, Jake or no Jake."

"And listen," she said, "you gotta promise me you'll jump in the blue water and kiss a dolphin. No thinking about work, because I swear that's all you live for. Don't be designing clothes in your head while you're ride a horse seaside or snorkeling."

I laughed.

"I'm serious. All work and no play makes Ashly a dull girl. While you're gone, I'll handle everything. No worries. And I still have that extra key, so I'll be happy to stop by and feed Tiger."

"Thanks, Nadia."

"You can even take one of the bikinis from the Reflection Collection."

"They're so gorgeous."

She laughed. "Of course they are. I designed them. You'll look fantastic. We've been going to that workout class for a long time, and you have the flattest abs. Just flaunt that bod in Jake's face and show him what he missed out on."

"Thanks, Nadia."

"I'm serious, girlfriend."

After we said our goodbyes, I hung up and pondered, Can I really put up with Jake without killing him on this vacation? The truth was, I wasn't so sure.

Chapter 5

Three weeks later...

On the way to Australia, our first stop, I sat back and folded my hands across my lap. I knew I needed to keep myself busy so Jake wouldn't try to talk to me. I picked up a magazine and started thumbing through it, pretending to be totally engrossed.

Next to me, Jake buckled his seatbelt. He leafed through the literature given to him by my lawyer, then started Googling the resort. "I got their website," he said, then went on to read it to me. "Green Island Resort, on the Great Barrier Reef, is one of the most unique and memorable destinations in Tropical North Queensland. A coral cay, a luxury resort, a natural wonderland unlike any other...Indulgence, romance, and adventure await on this tropical island paradise."

"Sounds wonderful, except for the romance part."

Utterly silenced, he swallowed hard and looked away.

My gaze drifted over to a young woman who was babbling away about her upcoming wedding, flipping through the pages of a popular bridal magazine. As all the painful memories of my own destroyed nuptial bliss flooded back, I glanced down at the floor and let out a long breath. The first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first New Year's, and the first birthday without him had been absolutely unbearable. I couldn't help but let out another huff as the girl kept chatting away.

"Again, Ashly, I'm sorry," Jake said, "but I swear I'm a different person now."

"Don't you remember our deal? You're not supposed to talk to me."

"If that's what you want, have it your way."

The girl next to us went on and on about her designer wedding dress. My temples pounded, and I tried to rub them with my fingers, desperately trying to tune her out.

"Maybe this is exactly what we need for closure, to spend lots of time together and—"

Lots of time together? Whoa, boy! I think not! I motioned for him to stop talking, and then I flagged down the flight attendant. "Excuse me, miss, but I'm gonna need alcohol, and lots of it if I'm gonna make it through this flight."

Jake turned and met my gaze straight on. "Is this how it's going to be the entire trip?"

"This is just the tip of the iceberg. When this plane lands, I suggest you get off of it as quick as you can. Hell hath no fury—"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, cutting me off. "So you're a woman scorned. Look, I know you're still mad, but can't you be at least civil to me?"

Civil? To you? Hell no! I'd wallowed in grief for so long that he deserved none of my pity, politeness, or manners. I stared down and swallowed hard again. "I'll try," I muttered.

"Good," he said, "because I want us to be friends. I really do, Ashly."

I felt uncomfortable and trapped onboard that plane. Sitting next to my ex only forced me to dwell on him more, and the memories weren't pleasant ones. "I just can't do it," I heard over and over again, his words that had haunted me for so long. I'd gone through therapy, lots of life-changing therapy, and I'd even dated some pretty wonderful guys since my groom ran away, but none of those relationships had ever worked out, if they could even be called relationships at all. I hated Jake. I was angry and bitter, and I couldn't stop wondering where he was on the anniversary of the day we met, our first date, and what would have been our wedding anniversary. There was no top tier for me to pull out of the freezer and enjoy because my wedding cake, like everything else about that day, had gone to waste.

I glanced over the itinerary and once again hated the fact that I had little to no control over the vacation. My lawyer, under the instruction of my departed mother, had set everything up. I was a stickler for detail and enjoyed carefully planning the agendas for every trip I went on, right down to the minute. Now, I had no involvement in how we would spend our time, and that bothered me.

To make matters worse, I was worried about the boutique and what would become of mine and Nadia's grand plans. I had a new business I was trying to get off the ground, and I wondered if it would even be possible for me to relax.

As I tapped away on my laptop, Jake looked over at me. "Mind if I ask what you're doing?" he asked.

"It's none of your concern," I said as politely as possible.

He gazed over and stared at the computer screen.

I let out a huff. "If you must know, I'm writing a long-overdue post on my fashion blog."

"What's the post about?"

"Um...knowing more than just fashion. It's about how anyone in fashion design also needs to be aware of all the aspects of marketing, product design, and production. It also requires a good head for business and a good label to market a fashion line."

"Interesting."

"If you don't mind, I need to get back to work."

He nodded, put his earbuds in, and started watching some kind of adventure movie starring a swashbuckling, fedora-wearing hero who would never have left his lady abandoned at an altar.

When the plane finally set down, we took a boat over to the island, where we checked into our lodging. Covered walkways connected the guestrooms to the reception area and private guest facilities. There was an elegant restaurant and bar, and a lounge area overlooked the shimmering pool. The little island was beautiful, just like the brochure promised, and when I walked out on the balcony and gazed around at the lush tropical rainforest, I had to be thankful for the opportunity to see it. According to the brochure, most visitors to the island would leave by three, so those of us staying at the resort would have the entire island to ourselves.

I quickly unpacked and hurried out the door to explore the spectacular isle. At one-thirty, I attended a show at Marineland. I watched in awe as a crocodile was fed; I couldn't believe that half-ton, seventeen-foot reptile was so agile, able to launch itself completely out of the water to gobble up an unsuspecting chicken. I even held a baby crocodile named Cuddles and had my portrait taken with the scaly, toothy little creature. The park was home to at least forty crocodiles, from giants to newly hatched babies.

The aquarium boasted 100 species of sea life, from stonefish and cute clownfish to epaulette sharks, turtles, lionfish, and giant painted crayfish. I loved the bright and colorful tropical fish and the coral. At a fish-feeding, I saw even more tropical fish in an even more brilliant rainbow of fluorescent and neon colors.

After I marveled at George J. Craig's amazing private collection of primitive ancestral artifacts and maritime relics, I took the nighttime nature walk and saw turtles resting near the shore. It was simply remarkable, an unforgettable tour. Before heading back to the resort, I stopped in the gift shop and bought some coral and gemstone jewelry, as well as a genuine shark tooth, hanging from a black cord and fashioned into a necklace.

When I returned, Jake met my gaze, and I couldn't stop my heart from thudding hard inside my chest. He was as amazing as any animal I'd seen that day, as strong as the crocodiles, as cute as the babies, and as beautiful as the colorful fish and coral. As much as I loathed him, there was no denying how hot he was in his ivory button-down shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals. He'd left a few buttons open, and the peek-a-boo view of his chest was mesmerizing. On top of that, he smelled so good. His hair was damp, so I assumed he was fresh out of the shower.

A smile slowly curved across his mouth. "You've been gone all day."

"So? I'm trying to make the most of this vacation. This place is so peaceful, so tranquil. It's a lot different than New York."

"Yeah," he said, sounding unimpressed. "Where did you go?" he asked.

"I spent some time with a dangerous fella I met on the island. We even took pictures. Care to see?"

He shook his head. "So now you're gonna flaunt other men in my face?"

I handed him the picture. "Meet my new friend. His name is Cuddles."

He glanced down and smiled. "Oh. Cute. Sorry I jumped to conclusions."

I rolled my eyes and snatched the photo away from him.

"In the future, it'd be nice if you'd let me know where you're going so I don't worry."

"Should I let you know when I go to the bathroom, too?" I asked with a smirk. "No one's paying you to be my bodyguard, Jake...and I'm a big girl. I'll go wherever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want."

He shook his head and fought a smile. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Ravenous."

"Your attorney made dinner reservations for us on the beach," he said.

I plopped down on the bed. "Funny. I don't remember any rules stating I have to eat with you."

"True."

"Then if you don't mind, I'm just gonna—"

"You don't have to eat with me, but everything is closed now. You should've said your goodbyes to Cuddles a little sooner."

I bit my lip hard as my stomach growled. I was starving and hadn't eaten anything all day.

"So...will you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner, Ashly Roberts?" he asked, grinning.

I slipped my shoes on. "I'll go with you, but only to get my dinner to go so I can bring it back to the room."

He shook his head "You can't avoid me forever, Ashly."

"Well, I aim to give it my best effort," I said. "Let's go, though. I'm starving."

* * *

My long dress swirled around my ankles with the warm tropical breeze. I'd always found something so soft and romantic about white cotton, even with a high neckline that didn't reveal any cleavage. I walked through the sand to the small, circular table that was already set up for us, covered with a pretty satin tablecloth and a vase full of tropical flowers in vibrant purples, oranges, and aquamarines. The chirping of birds intensified, overshadowing the rhythmical lapping of waves against the shore. I inhaled the salty scent of the ocean, with its hint of coconut. As if mirroring the bouquet centerpiece, purple, pink, and orange swirled in the glorious sky.

Jake shot me a leisurely glance. "You look beautiful," he said. "You're just...a vision."

"Thank you."

He was so handsome and smelled so damn good. Dark stubble speckled his strong jawline. His hair was wavy and thick, and the way it flew around in the wind made him look so sexy. With those dimples and that white, gleaming smile, he nearly had me breathless.

"Isn't this the most romantic place on the planet?" he asked.

"I'd love to be here with anyone but you," I muttered. Sure, he was gorgeous, but that didn't give him permission to stomp all over my heart. Handsome or not, he wasn't about to get the time of day from me. I refused to look at him and take in his reaction. At that point, I didn't even care what he thought about me. I ordered a salad because I was sure it'd be easy to take it back to my hotel room.

A surge of guilt rolled over him once again, and he actually winced. "I know you're having a hard time forgiving me," he said. "I don't blame you. What I did was selfish and—"

I met his gaze straight on and cut him off. "Despicable. What you did was just despicable." I crossed my arms over my chest, the way I always had whenever I was upset with him.

The waiter returned and poured a glass of wine for each of us, then left the bottle.

I pasted on a fake smile. "Thanks." I gulped down the entire glass of wine in one gulp, then poured another.

He reached for my hand. "Am I that awful to be with?"

"Please don't touch me, Jake."

Emotion poured from his voice. "We have a history together. We were lovers, but we were also best friends, Ashly. Can't we just be friends now?"

I poured more wine. "A friend would've never stabbed me in the back the way you did."

Ignoring my command not to touch me, he stroked my hair from my face and gazed deeply into my eyes. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

I stared at the breathtaking sunset as it unfolded. "That's just it. There's nothing you can do."

The waiter set down a platter for Jake and a salad for me.

"Thank you," Jake said.

The waiter smiled and turned to leave.

I picked up my salad. "I'll see you back in the room."

"I can't believe you'd prefer to eat that in the room when you could enjoy a sunset dinner by the ocean."

"I suppose you aren't used to women running out on you, huh?" I sarcastically snapped. I guzzled the rest of my wine, then grabbed the bottle to take with me and stormed off. The setting sun flooded the sky with more brilliant colors, and part of me wanted to stay and watch Mother Nature's spectacular light show, but the stubborn side of me fueled my quick departure.

* * *

After I ate my salad, I took a shower and dried off, only to realize I'd left my nightgown in the dresser. I wrapped a towel around me, peeked out, and called Jake's name. When I got no answer, I ran to the dresser and rifled through the drawer. Just as I grabbed my black nightgown, the door clicked, and Jake walked in.

"Jake, I'm not dressed."

He met my gaze and smiled. "I can see that."

I bit my lip hard, unsure which of us was more shocked. "Don't look." When he covered his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear, I scurried back into the bathroom and slipped into my gown. "Uh...sorry about that," I said awkwardly when I stepped out of the bathroom, dressed this time. "I'll try to be more careful next time."

"I'll be sure to knock next time," he said.

I nodded. "I'm going to bed. Um, I guess you can sleep on the floor."

"Wonderful," he said with a laugh.

I slipped under the covers, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

* * *

When I felt someone gently touching me, I fluttered my eyes open and glanced at the alarm clock. It was seven a.m.

"Get up," Jake said. "We have an appointment with our underwater photographer in an hour."

"I can't believe I slept this late. I'm usually such an early bird."

He handed me a Danish and a small carton of milk. "Well, I've got breakfast covered. I couldn't sleep, so I went for a run, then took a shower."

After breakfast, I went to the bathroom to take a shower. Wet towels and clothes were strewn all over the place, and Jake had had the audacity to move my makeup so he could make room for his electric razor. Perhaps worst of all, the toilet seat was up. I could definitely tell he was used to living like a bachelor. "Jake!" I said. "This place is a mess. I'm surprised you flushed the toilet."

"Give me some credit, would ya?"

"Why'd you move my stuff? I had everything all laid out for easy access."

"You were hogging the counter space. Where was I supposed to put my stuff?"

"Tell me you didn't use my toothbrush," I said. I slammed the door with a huff and jumped into the hot shower. Boy, this is gonna be a long trip, I thought as the warm water beat down on me.

After getting ready for the day, I opened my laptop to check my messages before we left.

"We're gonna miss our appointment," Jake said. "Can't that wait?"

"It's work, so no, it can't."

"We've gotta go right now, Ashly."

"Fine!" I said, shutting my computer.

* * *

Our photographer shut off the boat engine, and waves gently rocked the vessel. "We're here," he said.

The sun shone on my face from its place in the clear blue gorgeous sky. I stood at the railing and leaned over, glancing down at the turquoise water of the Coral Sea. I smiled as streaks of yellow, red, and blue swarmed around the boat.

Jake inched closer, and his hot breath brushed my cheek like a tropical draft. "Are you ready? Let's jump in!"

His sapphire-blue eyes sparkled, and his brown hair whipped around in the wind as he met my gaze and smiled. I brushed my hair behind my ear and smiled back at him. When he removed his shirt, I couldn't help but stare at his massive body and all those thick, rippling muscles; he was even more gorgeous than the last time I'd seen him without a shirt. His beautiful body was so ripped that I was practically drooling over him, and I was sure he'd spent hours at the gym every day.

Without hesitation, Jake jumped into the pristine water with a loud splash that caused our photographer to laugh.

"Your boyfriend is quite the daredevil," the photographer said. "I haven't even checked for sharks."

"He's not my boyfriend," I said politely. "Is it okay to go in now?"

He looked through his binoculars in every direction. "Looks good."

"Ooh, the water's wonderful!" Jake shouted. "Come on, Ashly!"

I leaned over the railing. "Forget something?" I asked.

He grinned. "Guess so. Can you throw it down?"

"Sure." I took off my long, colorful wrap and adjusted my red and purple one-piece. I put on my mask, snorkel, and fins, then grabbed Jake's gear and jumped in. I couldn't fathom that I was actually floating above the actual Great Barrier Reef. After I handed Jake his gear, I took a long, deep breath and ducked my head under the water.

A school of yellow fish swirled around us, and the underwater photographer began snapping away. "They look good," the photographer said. "I'll have the CD and eight-by-tens delivered to your hotel room when we get back."

"Thanks," I said.

He grinned and climbed back into his boat. "For now, though, I'll give you lovebirds some time to be alone," he said, ignoring my earlier claim that there was nothing between us.

"We're just friends," I said.

"The way you were staring at him?" He laughed. "I don't think so. You were lookin' at that boy like a crocodile looks at a chicken!"

Jake began to laugh.

My cheeks burned. "I was not!"

Jake's grin grew even wider.

"I wasn't," I retorted.

Our photographer held up his binoculars. "Enjoy yourselves. I'll keep an eye out for any company of the fin and toothy variety."

I swallowed hard. "Why does that make me a little nervous?"

"We'll be fine," Jake said, grinning. "C'mon. Let's have some fun. It's not every day you get to splash around in Jaws's backyard."

When he clasped his hand around mine, my skin began to tingle. His warm, soft fingers rubbed against the back of my hand lightly as he pulled me toward the reef, and I softly tugged my hand away; Jake had no right to hold my hand like we were lovers on some excursion.

I dived deeper, to a point where the visibility was awesome. The reef was beautifully decorated in a kaleidoscope of marine life, from clusters of colorful anemones to large sponges, coral, and starfish. Thick carpets of strawberry anemones covered the bottom, and Jurassic-sized sea fans swayed in the current like branches in the wind. I noticed every light and shadow and thought about how wonderful they would be to capture with my own camera.

I grinned at passing tropical fish all decked out in startling reds, blues, greens, and yellows. There had to be zillions of them. My eyes opened wide as I noted their sparkling appearance, complex patterns, and vibrant coloration. The spots, stripes, and shapes were all different as snowflakes, and some shapes and patterns I couldn't even identify with my vocabulary.

Jake's black hair flowed out in the water, waving back and forth with the rhythm of the sea. A stream of bubbles came out of his mouth as he smiled, his eyes wide. He picked up a huge stingray measuring at least five feet across from wingtip to wingtip. I reached out and touched the gentle giant as it swam out of Jake's hands and disappeared into the sandy sea bottom. Too cool! It felt soft and slimy, like a big, wet Portobello mushroom.

I resurfaced and gasped for air, then dived down again. I kicked hard to propel myself forward, gliding over a beautiful coral garden. The formations offered vivid patterns, fantastic shapes, weird textures, and unique colors I'd never seen before, all bolder, brighter, and more brilliant than any I'd noticed on previous dives. I couldn't resist touching a colony of green coral as I swam by, and when I did, in an instant, the entire colony changed from green to red, like some mermaid's Christmas decoration.

I burst through the surface. Sucking in long gulps of air, I noticed radiant sunbeams glinting in Jake's blue eyes; in the sunlight, they were absolutely blazing blue, and I'd always been a sucker for baby blues.

"How are you doing?" Jake asked.

"Good. How about you? Are you doing okay?"

He nodded and said between breaths, "This place is...it's incredible...all those colors and...the fish." With that, he let out a soft groan and turned away.

I touched his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

His jaw set into a grimace. "I cut my leg on the coral, but it's nothing to worry about."

My lips pressed into a grim line. "Nothing to worry about? C'mon, Macho Man. Let's get you back to the boat and all bandaged up."

"Aw. That's so cute," he said.

I stammered, shocked and a bit insulted by his condescension. "What?"

"You still care."

I rolled my eyes. "There are two things I care about in this instance. One, if you get an infection, you might not be able to finish the journey, and I'll lose my inheritance. Two, if sharks smell that blood you're leaking all over the place, we both might lose our limbs. I'm not willing to risk it, so turn your stubborn butt around and swim back to the boat."

He grinned. "That's not it at all. I saw genuine concern in your eyes. You can give me a million excuses if you want, but deep down, I know you're worried about me."

"Whatever, Jake," I said.

I waved our photographer captain over and told him that Jake had been injured. He motioned us back to the boat, and as soon as we were aboard, he sped off, heading back to our island oasis. Fortunately, Jake's gash wasn't severe, and it only required a bit of peroxide and a little gauze. I almost laughed when the peroxide stung him, but I managed to hold my tongue.

We spent a few days in Australia, only talking when absolutely necessary. I tried to stay away from our shared room as much as possible by going out and exploring the island. Making small talk with him in the hotel was more than I could bear. The man was supposed to my husband. If things had gone according to plan, we would have been enjoying sunset dinners, staring lovingly into one another's eyes, then heading back to our room to make love all night. Instead, we weren't even friends and were nothing more than hostile roommates, prisoners of one another's forced company. I could barely tolerate him, but I knew I had to.

* * *

Back at the airport again, I was dressed in dark-washed jeans and a white, lacy top. My hair was pulled back and held by a sparkly white clip made of seashells, a souvenir from our first stop. Jake was handsomely dressed in a snug black shirt that perfectly accentuated every muscle of his chest, tucked into blue jeans and finished off with brown shoes. Muscles bulged in his arms when he picked up my suitcase.

"I got it, Jake," I said, reaching for my bag, "but thank you."

He smiled and shrugged. "Just trying to help."

After checking our luggage, we were told we had a three-hour delay before our flight to Arizona, so I curled up in the airport chair and started tapping away on my laptop, trying to catch up on work.

Jake came over and held a Pepsi out to me. "Still your favorite, I presume."

I nodded. "I'm surprised you remember. Thank you."

"I remember more than you know," he said, sitting down next to me.

I gave him a fake smile and went back to my laptop.

"I see you're taking your work with us."

"I've got a business to run."

"Yeah. Are those reports?"

I looked up from my computer. "You're bored. You've always wanted to talk whenever you get bored."

He inched closer and whispered in my ear, "Remember what we used to do to make time fly?"

I gazed up into his eyes. "You mean when we used to tangle up the sheets?" I said without even flinching and not caring who could hear us; I had no problem embarrassing him in public after the way he'd humiliated me in front of all of the most important people in my life.

"No. It was more than sex. We made beautiful love, and then I'd hold you all night and—"

I stood. "I'm gonna go sit somewhere else," I said, then hurried to a different seat without even looking back.

As I expected he would, Jake followed me. "You forgot your Pepsi...and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, shape, or form." He shifted his stance. "We're not strangers though, Ashly. We were best friends, and I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone."

My lips pressed into a flat line. "Hmm. And you show it by being a no-show at our wedding? Interesting."

The intense pain in his face was evident. "I know. I was such an idiot, and that dumb decision cost me the best thing that ever happened to me. What hurt the most was losing my best friend."

When they called for our flight to board, I felt relieved. I hurried onto the plane, settled down in my seat, and began to flip through a magazine someone had left behind.

"We get to ride donkeys down into the Grand Canyon," Jake said, "just like the Brady Bunch on that one episode."

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"It's ironic that my mother has us riding down on jackasses?" I said. "I'm sure it's some kind of symbolism from the grave."

"And what would that be?"

"Think really hard about what a jackass is. It can be a Rocky Mountain canary, burro, donkey, he-ass, jack, male ass, neddy, or, my personal favorite...a Jake," I muttered under my breath.

"What? Did you just call me a jackass?"

The flight attendant's voice cut into our conversation. "I have your drink, miss."

I pointed to an empty seat at the front of the first-class section. "Is there any way I can move up there?" I asked. "I could use a little more privacy."

"Is everything okay?"

I reached for the drink she handed me. "I just can't sit next to this gentleman for such a long flight...and calling him a gentleman is putting it nicely."

She smiled widely. "Okay. If you'd like to move, it's no problem."

"Thank you," I said.

"Ashly..." Jake started.

My gaze narrowed. "Listen, my mother's will doesn't require me to ride next to you on the plane."

He flashed a smile. "Right, but it does stipulate that we have to share a one-bedroom whenever that's a possibility."

I shot sharp daggers at him with my eyes. "The room, maybe, but not the bed. Wherever we have to stay, I hope the floor is as cold and hard for you as you were to me!"

With that, I turned and headed for the front seat, not even bothering to look back to see his expression. I was still too mad and bitter to be out on some personal Amazing Race with him. I'd never considered myself an ice-cold bitch, and I didn't want to be, but around him, I just couldn't help it. The truth was, I would need years of therapy to get over what Jake had done to me, if I could ever get over it at all. In some way, shape, or form, I knew I'd always think about him and would forever wonder where we'd be if he hadn't left me high and dry. Where would five years of love have taken us? Would we have children? Would they have looked like me or him? He'd destroyed the future we were supposed to have, and I'd gotten burned in the process. Jake, the man I'd once loved and trusted, had thrown our love away and made a joke out of it, and I was still furious at him for that. Whoever said, "Time heals all wounds" was a liar—or at least that was what my heart was screaming.

Chapter 6

We checked into a historic hotel located at the Grand Canyon National Park, El Tovar Hotel, situated directly on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. As we approached the lodge, I noticed elk grazing on the grass in front of the lodge; I couldn't resist taking out my camera and snapping a few pictures.

The lobby was behind a broad entry veranda and extended up to four stories topped with a turret, pyramidal roof. I loved the rustic ambience as I peered up at the chandeliers and dark-stained wood. The ranch-style furniture was done in wine-red fabric, and Indian rugs adorned the floors. The architecture and décor reminded me of a fancy hunting lodge; there were even mounted deer, elk, moose, and one snarling wild boar. As I watched a woman load piles of firewood into the lobby fireplace, a memory flooded my mind of Jake holding me in front of a blazing inferno at a ski lodge where we'd vacationed. His lips had crashed against mine as we made mad, passionate love by the fire. My cheeks blushed as I basked in the nostalgia of happier times.

"Ashly," he said, interrupting my thoughts of a version of him I liked a lot better, "our reservation isn't ready yet. Didn't you hear me calling your name?"

My mouth dropped, and it took a minute for my brain to function. "I was just thinking of how much this place reminds me of that ski lodge we used to visit with the gang."

He grinned. "Yeah. Lots of good memories there."

I looked away and bit my lip hard, wondering if he was thinking the same thing I was. From the wide smile on his face, I was pretty sure he had the same sexy memory on his mind.

"The hotel clerk said we can relax here, get some breakfast, or sit on the porch that overlooks the canyon while they work all this out," Jake said.

My heart spiked. "I'd love to see the canyon." I'd dreamt about seeing the Grand Canyon for my entire life, and now I was there, at a lodge that overlooked the scenic landscape.

He touched my back and smiled even more widely. "This way."

The natural splendor of the place was so amazing that I couldn't possibly stop snapping photographs. The hotel offered a perfect, panoramic, mind-blowing view, just 100 yards from the rim. It was absolutely exhilarating to be able to stare straight down into the canyon.

"It's gorgeous," Jake said, always one to state the obvious.

"I knew it would be beautiful, but I never expected a view like this," I said in awe. It was so magnificent that my heart was pounding a million miles a minute.

"And to think, this is just the beginning of the wonders we're going to see together on this little field trip your mother planned for us," Jake said.

I met his gaze and shot him a half-smile, then went back to taking pictures. A few minutes passed, and I moved to sit down in a rocking chair on the porch.

Jake walked over and handed me a tall, frosty glass of lemonade.

"Thanks," I said.

He took a long sip, then smiled.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Remember that lemonade stand we made for the fair at school?" he asked.

I couldn't help but laugh at the memory. "Tenth grade, right?"

"Yeah. I'll never forget it. It was our first project together."

I cringed. "We didn't sell much. Of course, I guess it didn't help that I used salt instead of sugar."

"Don't forget about those seeds I got in there by accident."

"I'll never forget the look on Mrs. Smith's face," I said. "That had to be pure torture."

"I know. I can't believe she pretended to like it."

"The principal wasn't so nice. She shut us down, remember?"

I sipped my cold drink, then laughed some more. "Yeah, we definitely made the worst lemonade ever."

He gazed into my eyes. "See?"

"What?"

"We can have fun and laugh as friends."

The pain still cut deep, in spite of my momentary forgetfulness. "I'm trying because we have to travel together for the time being, but I don't know if I can promise you friendship."

"That's okay. We'll work on it."

"I do want to apologize for being so cold to you on the plane."

"It's completely understandable."

"I'll be cordial, but just don't expect me to be your chum on this vacation, okay?"

His eyes softened. "Are you ever gonna find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"I-I just don't know. Maybe if we give it more time."

"I've got all the time in the world." He glanced around. "This place is nice—a little history, luxury, and scenic nature, all rolled into one."

"It's spectacular," I said.

"I love to enjoy the outdoors. Maybe we could walk the rim trail together."

I yawned. "I don't know. I'm really tired."

"Perhaps tomorrow."

"Please don't get your hopes up. Maybe it'd be better if we wait till we can hitch a ride on the donkeys."

"Yeah," he said, almost sadly. "I think I'll go check to see if our room is ready," he said, then walked off.

Our room was more beautiful than I'd imagined a hotel room could be. The Mary Coulter suite was one of a few rooms in the El Tovar with its own large balcony, almost like a deck, directly overlooking the canyon. While Jake explored, I opted to take a long nap, as I was still exhausted from the plane ride and a bit of jetlag.

When I woke up a while later, Jake asked me to accompany him to dinner. Dining with him wasn't really on my to-do list, so I declined, leaving him to settle for room service or a dinner alone. I ate a nice dinner alone in the hotel restaurant.

Jake was out on the balcony, and I opened my laptop to see if any new orders had come in. In spite of her warning that all work and no play would make me a dull girl, there were certain things Nadia had trouble handling on her own; she had emailed me to let me know we hadn't received our fabric for a stunning summer dress. If the fabric didn't show up by the following week, we wouldn't be able to add the dress to the Summer Sunlight Collection. It was too late to call the company, so I'd have to wait until morning.

"Ashly?" Jake called from the balcony. "You've just gotta see it out here. It's gorgeous."

"Um...I'm kind of in the middle of something right now."

"Just one quick peek?" he begged.

I set my purse down and headed outside. Immediately, the moonlit canyon and glittering stars took my breath away.

"Here, have a seat," Jake said, motioning to a chair beside him.

"I'd rather stand. It's amazing," I said, "absolutely breathtaking."

He turned to meet my gaze, and I quickly looked away. "You're mad at me."

"Yes, but it's not just that. On top of the fact that it's a little hard to be around you so much, we're having problems with a shipment back at the boutique."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Like I've told you time and time again, walking out on you was the worst mistake I ever made. I lost the only good thing in my life, and I've regretted it every single day since. I swear, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about you."

"It was the most painful and difficult thing I've ever been through."

"I know. I also carry the scars."

"Really? You poor thing," I said, scowling at him. "Any scars you have from that day are self-inflicted in case you've forgotten."

When I looked away, he pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm so, so sorry for what I did to you, to us."

"Did you break up with me because the romance was gone or the sparks weren't there?"

"Are you kidding? We had huge chemistry."

"Then was there somebody else?"

"No."

"Did you want someone prettier? Was I horrible in bed?" I asked. "I'm sorry, Jake, but I just have to know. These questions have been bouncing around in my head for years."

"Ashly, you are still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, and our sex life was...well, amazing. We shared a connection I've never felt with anyone, and we were so in love. I just panicked. I-I just wasn't ready for marriage back then and—"

"Why did you come back to New York City? Was it about seeing friends and family, or were you trying to stalk me?"

A breeze swept through his dark, messy hair. "I can't imagine living without you."

"Nadia said you were at my mother's funeral. Why didn't you say anything to me?"

"I didn't want to make your day worse. Look at the way you reacted when you saw me in your lawyer's office. I didn't want to cause a scene like that at your mother's funeral."

"No, I suppose not."

"I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother."

"She was my best friend," I whispered, my voice quivering. "If you don't mind, I don't want to talk about her death. I can't handle it."

"I know how hard it is."

We didn't say much after that, and I enjoyed the silence as I stared at the sky. A while later, Jake went back inside and brought out a couple sodas for us, a sweet gesture; he'd stocked our mini-fridge with Pepsi from the vending machine.

I paused when he softly pointed upward.

"Look! It's a shooting star."

I watched as the bright beam traveled across the dark sky.

"It's gotta be a sign," he said.

"A sign?"

"Maybe fate threw us together again so we could become friends and work out our differences."

"Yes, it's a great and glorious sign from the cosmos that we're meant to be together," I said with a sarcastic ring. He smiled and I continued. "I'm kidding."

"I'm not."

My jaw set into a stern grimace. "It's science, Jake—just a shooting star and nothing more."

"Wow. You used to be such a romantic."

I sucked in a deep gulp of air. "A lot about me died that day."

He sighed. "One way or another, I'm gonna melt that ice covering your heart."

I peered at him intently. "Instead of melting ice, how about answering another question?"

"Anything."

"Where have you been all these years?" I asked.

"I got a job as a firefighter in Texas."

"Yeah, Nadia told me that much," I said. "She said you were transferred back home. That's what you've always wanted to do, right? You went out there and followed your dream. I'm really happy for you for that, even if you had to ditch me to do it."

"I've been working hard out there, but I missed everyone horribly—especially you."

"This isn't some cheesy romance novel with Fabio on the cover," I said. "You can't just walk into my life and think I'm gonna run back into your arms like nothing ever happened. How dare you?"

"The past is the past. Why can't we concentrate on the present? Didn't we both agree to come on this trip as friends?"

"The only thing I agreed to was to be cordial, and I'm doing the best I can with that."

"I realized the fatal mistake on our wedding night, but it was too late by then. The damage had already been done. I knew you'd never forgive me after I didn't show up at that wedding."

"I might have, if you'd just have come to me that night. Sure, I was mad, but I wasn't ready to lose you. If you had come to me and told me you wanted to wait, I would have been happy to do that for you, but you didn't even include me in your decision. You just took off and disappeared for months, for years."

"You're rich," he said. "If you had really wanted to find me, you could've easily hired a private detective."

"Yeah, I guess I could have, but I'm not a stalker." I ran a hand through my hair in thought. "I wished our breakup had been different so we could've remained friends, because losing you...well, you were my best friend, my soulmate, my intimate partner, and the closest person to me. We talked about our future so much, even what we would name our kids, where we'd live, and what our life together would be like. Jake, I was sure you were the one I'd spend the rest of my life with, but you destroyed our fairytale romance. I was all fastened into my wedding gown, happier than I'd ever been in my life, and then you were just gone. It felt like you just died, like you'd been ripped right out of my life. It was like losing a limb, and it hurt like a bitch. After that, every day was a struggle, and the pain just wouldn't go away."

"I'm hurting just as bad. The scene and our last phone call just plays over and over again in my mind. I've been haunted by it, and I've regretted it every day of my life."

"Then why didn't you pick up the damn phone, email me, or Facebook me? Hell, you could've texted me."

"My head and heart fought about that for a long time, but the truth is, I couldn't bear to face you again. I was so ashamed. Losing you was the worst heartbreak ever, and I knew I had brought it upon myself."

"I think we're both dysfunctional right now, and I can't really deal with it yet. Let's just stay focused on what we came here for and cash in on this inheritance."

He nodded and touched my hand. "I made a bed on the couch."

"Good. We'd better get some sleep, because we've got a long day ahead of us. It takes about five hours to get down to the bottom of the canyon by mule."

We'd be staying at the popular and historic Phantom Ranch, in a cabin equipped only with bunk beds, bedding, a toilet, a sink, some soap, and a few towels. Fortunately, there were showers not too far away. It was the only place to stay below the rim of the Grand Canyon, and the isolated accommodations could only be reached by hiking, rafting, or mules. We'd take the Bright Angel Trail down, eat lunch at Indian Garden, then ride along the cliffs of the Inner Gorge until we crossed the Colorado River via suspension bridge and rode up Bright Angel Canyon to the ranch. If I hadn't been traveling with someone I loathed, it would have sounded like some grand adventure right off the pages of a Hemingway novel.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight," he echoed, then went to make himself comfortable on the couch.

I stayed outside for another hour, just enjoying all the moonlight and stars and doing a lot of pondering. I wasn't sure what I felt about Jake anymore. Part of me would always love him, but there was a part of me that still hated him for what he'd done to me. Part of me wanted to throw myself into his arms and feel his sweet kisses again, but the other part, which seemed to be speaking the loudest in my head, wanted to slap him across the face.

Chapter 7

I woke up early, showered, and got ready for the day. I slipped into a pair of blue jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I finished my ensemble off with some stylish hiking boots Nadia had bought me prior to one of our fall hikes. Since I'd worn them a few times to break them in, I knew they'd be comfortable. I put on minimal makeup and pulled my hair back into a long ponytail. I was sure it'd be chilly, since it was only April, so I grabbed my favorite denim jacket with a vintage wash and bronze buttons. I also made sure to slip my sunglasses into my front pocket.

Suddenly, something caught my eye on the table: a bouquet of a dozen white roses. My curiosity piqued, I slipped the card out of the small envelope and read it under my breath: "A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. I love you so much. Please forgive me." I bit my lip and thought about those words. Jake couldn't move on with his life knowing how hurt I was. Maybe he needed to hear me say I'd forgiven him, but I couldn't lie to him like that.

Jake was on the patio when I walked out to see the sunrise on the rim, one of the most glorious natural displays I'd ever seen. Horizontal layers of pink and orange streaked across the gorgeous morning sky as the sun peeked through. He was dressed casually in dark-washed jeans, a long-sleeved button-down shirt, and brown hiking boots with thick soles for traction. His shirt showed off the solid wall of muscle underneath. He looked like he was ready to go on a desert mission, and I somewhat missed his tropical, wind-blown look. Jake stared at the beautiful sight. "A show like this gives the start of a day a whole new meaning," he said, holding a cup of coffee.

"Without a doubt."

He gazed up at me and smiled. "You look stunning, as usual. I gotta admit, I'm kinda jealous of those jeans, squeezing you in all the right places."

"Um, thanks," I said, a bit taken aback by his bluntness, "and thank you for the flowers."

"It was nothing really. I have a lot of making up to do."

I stared at him, confused. "It's too late to fix things. You can't put a Band-Aid on open-heart surgery."

He set his coffee down on the patio table. "I'm not one to give up on things, Ashly. You, of all people, should know that."

"Really? Because you gave up on us."

He cleared his throat, shook his head, and took another sip of coffee.

I couldn't meet his gaze and stared at the patio table. "I guess you were never one to quit before, now that I think about it," I said, throwing the poor guy a bone. "The roses and that card were, uh...thoughtful. But let's not turn this experience into something it isn't. Let's just get through this as painlessly as possible for both of us."

He motioned me forward. "C'mere and look!" he said, pointing.

I glanced down from the balcony and watched deer grazing on dew-laden grass, a sweet scene like one in a painting or on a greeting card. "How cute," I said.

Jake came from behind and wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me close. "Do you see the babies?" he said, his hot breath hitting the skin on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

I tried to pretend like his touch didn't faze me, but it was hard to tune out the gorgeous hunk wrapped around me. "Yeah, I see them," I said, turning around to face him. Once I was free of his grasp, I slowly stepped back.

"I love this place. All this nature and quiet makes you slow down and think about the important things in life," he said, staring into my eyes.

This time, it was my turn to clear my throat and shake my head. "So, anyway...are you, uh, all packed for our overnighter at Phantom Ranch?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

He smiled as if he was sure I was smitten with him all over again, but I most definitely wasn't. I had gotten over him a long time ago, and I refused to let his charm and handsome swallow me up again. I knew Jake would have no trouble with the ladies wherever he went. Even the receptionist at the lodge had shamelessly checked him out and flirted with him with me standing right next to him, checking in to the same suite. He hadn't flirted back, but I was sure that was just because he was trying to impress me. For the time being, I only had to tolerate him, and it would be quite easy to ignore one jackass while I was bouncing atop another on my way down into the Grand Canyon.

Jake reached under his bed and grabbed a plastic bag. "I bought something for us at the gift shop," he said. He then pulled a brown cowboy hat out of the bag and put it on, leaving some of his bed-head hair out to sweep his broad shoulders. He looked hot and I wondered if he ever wore a cowboy hat in Texas.

I really didn't want to accept a gift from him, and I thought it best to tell him so. He'd already gone overboard with the roses. "Um, that's nice and all, but I don't really need a hat. Thanks anyway."

Ignoring me, he slipped the hat on my head. "Yes you do. The sun will be beating down on us all the way down. It's a five-hour ride on donkeys. This will keep the sun off your face."

I looked in the mirror. "It doesn't look too bad."

"It's cute...and it matches your outfit."

"I look like a real cowgirl, huh?"

"Honey, I'd lasso you anytime." He smiled and led me out the door before I could possibly object to him talking to me that way.

After a rundown on proper mule-handling, I mounted my ride rather easily.

Our tour guide, a man with a scraggily beard and greasy cowboy hat of his own, patted the animal. "This is Earl. He's a good one, but he likes to sway a little too close to the edge."

I swallowed hard. "Can I have a different mule then?"

"Hmm. I s'pose I could put you on Harvey, but he's a real risk-taker. I think it'd be better if your boyfriend rides him."

I blew a long strand of black hair from my eyes, frustrated that yet another stranger had presumed we were a couple. "Jake is not my boyfriend."

The man grinned. "Really? Coulda fooled me, girl, 'cause he sure was checkin' your ass out as you climbed aboard Earl."

I couldn't help but chuckle, flattered that I still had it. I glanced over my shoulder at Jake, and he winked at me. My cheeks burned with emotions I couldn't quite determine, perhaps a little bit of anger and embarrassment all rolled into one.

All of the sudden, a gust of wind blew the guide's hat off his head, spooking my mule into a bucking fit.

"Calm down, Earl," the guide softly coaxed.

"Is he gonna act like that on the walk down?" I asked nervously.

"Nah, he'll be okay. He just gets a little jumpy sometimes, that's all. But I assure you Earl's completely dependable and safe. He's made a ton of trips down, and he ain't never lost a soul."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Mules have been haulin' people in and out of the canyon for as long as I can remember. Heck, these asses have been haulin' asses since the 1800s, and no one has ever died."

I let out a sigh of relief. "That's good to know."

"Just watch out for wasps."

"What?" I glanced at Jake, and he smirked.

"Yesterday, a wasp stung a mule on the trail. He snorted and jumped something fierce."

"Um...okay. I'll try to stay clear, but it might be hard on a narrow trail."

The guy gave Earl an encouraging pat. "You'll do just fine, pretty lady. I can tell already that Earl's got a crush on you."

I looked down at the smelly animal, nodded, and smiled halfheartedly. "That's good...I guess," I said.

We started out through the ponderosa pine and juniper forest. It was so peaceful, and we were serenaded by chattering squirrels and chirping birds. We even saw a few elk and a mule deer grazing away, as if they didn't care that we were there.

After a while, the path narrowed until it was just wide enough for the mules to go single-file. Minutes later, the trail sloped a bit. As we trudged along, the terrain grew rougher, and the landscape seemed to get steeper with every edge-teetering step. I leaned back in the saddle, hoping Earl would live up to his sure-footed reputation. My feet pushed against the stirrups for stability. The first few minutes were the scariest. Right side, red rock wall. Left side, I thought, gulping, a big, huge drop! My mule snorted as I stared down at the jagged, prickly slope that seemed to be getting more menacing by the second. I hoped he knew what he was doing. I was also thankful for the cowboy hat, and I made a mental note to thank Jake later.

As we rode down the narrow path to the bottom, I bounced up and down, hanging on for dear life over the steep terrain as my mule teetered precariously near the edge on the hairpin turns. I sucked in a deep breath, hoping Earl didn't have a death wish. If he made one misstep with any of his four hooves, I knew we'd both tumble thousands of feet.

Finally, when I realized that Earl knew what he was doing, I just enjoyed the gorgeous scenery. I couldn't stop marveling at the beauty of the canyon's colorful pinnacles, buttes, and mesas.

Jake was riding in front of me, his broad shoulders hunched forward as he held the reins. I chuckled as his body jerked up and down atop Harvey. I loved the way Jake's thick, wavy hair whipped around in the wind, and the morning sun made his black locks shine beneath his hat. A rush of heat spread across my face as I remembered the first time we'd ever made out, how I'd buried my fingers in that hair as we'd engaged in hot, passionate kisses.

"Okay, folks, the next stretch will be along a 3,000-foot drop-off. If you get scared, just focus on the mule in front of you," the tour guide said, interrupting my reverie.

I was nervous for a few seconds, but it was something I'd been hoping to do for my entire life, and I couldn't give up. I gazed all around me, completely awed and inspired by the dramatic view. Earl was a daredevil, walking ever closer to the edge, but he never lost his footing and just clomped along as if he didn't have a care in the world, gravity least of all. It was a thrill ride even more exciting than any rollercoaster I'd ever ridden. Earl couldn't go as fast as an amusement park ride, but he sure got my heart pumping harder than any loop-de-loop ever had.

I watched an adorable rock squirrel scurry away from us. As I glanced around, I was really shocked by all the trees and how green everything was; from the surface, the Grand Canyon had always looked like a big, dusty, barren, deep, red hole, but it was teeming with animal and plant life. I brushed my hair behind my ears, but the wind blew it around again and again beneath my hat. The breeze carried the scent of desert herbs, sand, and sweet, dusty earth. I glanced up at the dazzling blue sky and felt sunshine on my face. My heart raced as I peered down at the rock-strewn desert landscape below. It was as if we'd landed on Mars, the red planet itself. Crimson-colored sandstone gorges, from sugar white to deep orange, shimmered in the glaring brightness. Little whirlwinds of dust, sand, and gritty dirt danced below. Fantastic rock formations, swirled with bands of colors, seemed to stretch out into an endless horizon. What lay before my eyes seemed to defy mere words, and I was sure even high-definition photos wouldn't do them justice. I marveled at the Colorado River, snaking its way along the canyon floor for 300 miles, through all those time-hewn gorges. I smiled as an endangered California condor flew majestically over us, its wingspan was wider than any bird I'd ever seen, like some kind of pterodactyl from a science fiction movie.

Jake glanced over his shoulder and grinned. He looked so happy, and I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for both of us. "This place is incredible," he said.

"Amazing," I said, gawking at the surreal landscape around me, like something out of a dream. I was absolutely wowed by the splendor and all the natural beauty. It was the most stunning, breathtaking vista I'd ever seen.

We stopped at a creek and refilled our canteens, then sat at the picnic area, where our tour guide passed out bagged lunches. The sandwiches were pretty good, and I mowed through the chips.

I walked over to Earl. "Hey, fella. You hungry?"

The animal snorted and actually wagged his tail as he ate the juicy apple from my hand.

"Whoa! That was the ride of a lifetime," Jake said, approaching from behind.

"It was awesome. Really got the adrenaline pumping."

His blue eyes locked on me, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. Just for a second, it felt like he was looking into me rather than at me.

"The way the sun shines on your hair and in your eyes is just...magical," he said.

My heart pounded in my chest. "Thanks for the compliment," I said, almost in a whisper. I bit my lip hard in annoyance. I couldn't believe I'd allowed myself to get caught up in those pretty blue eyes of his. When I finally forced myself to pull away, he shot me that movie-star gleaming smile. I couldn't snap any coherent thoughts together in the glint of his pearly whites. Being there with him on a dream vacation in such a magical place was wreaking havoc on my resolve to hate him, driving me crazy, inside and out. I inhaled sharply. Part of me found myself attracted to him, but the other part still detested the despicable jerk who'd caused me so much pain. When a smile curved up on his irresistible lips, I took a deep, steadying breath as I tried to clear my head. "I need some time to be alone and think and reflect on all this beauty," I said.

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

I almost noticed a subtle hint in his words, but in the end, my fury won, and I stormed off to explore the creek bank. I stared at the time-eroded walls and thought about my life, my past, and my future, whatever that would be.

Chapter 8

After a nice rest, we remounted and headed back to the bottom. When we finally arrived at our destination, I saw stone cabins, four dormitory buildings, and a central dining area. Everything was so scenic, with all the cottonwoods, the fantastic Bright Angel Creek, and the vivid rock formations.

We walked into our rustic cabin, and Jake smiled, motioning to two sets of bunk beds. "Wow. I actually won't have to sleep on the floor."

I set my stuff on the bottom bunk. The mattress wasn't the softest, but it would get the job done. The place was cozy, with minimal amenities and furnishings, limited to a nightstand, alarm clock, a small table, a toilet, and cold running water. I was dying for my laptop, but I hadn't brought it with me because I was told there'd be no service.

"I don't know about you, but I'm starving," Jake said.

I playfully slugged him. "Then let's go get some chow."

Dinner was served family style: delicious steak, baked potatoes, salad, bread, peas, corn, and moist chocolate cake. It was so nice after the long ride down to the bottom.

Jake took his last bite of cake and wiped his mouth. "You know what I was hoping to see?"

I cocked my brow. "What?"

"Bighorn sheep."

"Hmm. They didn't even make a cameo appearance, did they?"

"Nope," he said. "It's really too baaaaad, don't ewe think?" he said, then laughed at his own jokes.

"Not punny," I retorted. "Maybe wool see some when we head back up to the rim," I said.

He laughed. "I sure hope so."

"The food's really good here."

"Delicious," Jake said.

"This is definitely one of the most memorable travel experiences I've ever had. It isn't exactly the Hilton, but it's warm and down to earth. Reminds me of something out of a cowboy movie."

"Want a beer?" he casually asked. "Unless you're a wine gal now."

"Trying to loosen me up with liquor?" I joked.

"Nah. I just thought we could enjoy a cold brewskie, sit on the porch, and talk about old times."

"You always got a little frisky after a few beers. You used to be all over me after your third."

"So I'll only drink two."

We both laughed.

* * *

A few minutes later, we were sitting on the porch, listening to the babbling creek in front of us.

"I never woulda thought I'd be staying the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon—least of all with you," I said, laughing.

He grinned at me. "Yeah, if somebody woulda told me a month ago that I'd be here, doing this, I woulda had them committed."

"Cheers to that," I said, and we clinked beer bottles. "So...tell me, have you been dating anyone special?" I asked after taking a swig.

"Not really. Nothing ever lasted because no woman I've met could ever compare to you. You were the love of my life, Ashly."

Ignoring the compliment and the disappointed look on his face, I asked, "Which relationship lasted the longest? The curious side of me is dying to know."

"Hmm. I dated this blonde nurse, Sherry, for about two years. She didn't trust me and didn't give me one inch of freedom. After a while, I got tired of her paranoia and accusations, so I called it quits."

"My mother never liked my boyfriends," I said.

"So it wasn't just me?"

"No. She found something wrong with any boy who gave me the time of day. Whenever things got serious, it only exacerbated my mother's behavior. I sure remember what a nutcase she could be about my love life."

He nodded.

I continued, "I haven't dated much over the last couple of years. I guess I was too busy being heartbroken and working and taking care of my dying mom."

"How'd you ever convince her to let you go to fashion school?" he asked, having known my mother well.

"I told her if she didn't let me live my life dream, I was moving out. Then my dad threatened to move out too. He was really fed up with her. She was so upset about the possibility of losing both of us that she consented and paid for me to go. I swear, that was the only time she ever let me do what I wanted. She knew I was going to go, with or without her consent, and then she would've lost total control of me."

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad she let you pursue your dream."

"I haven't dated much at all. My love life has been pretty much nonexistent. But I did date this guy named Robert Matary once. He owned a successful chain of stores. We lasted about two years. His company suddenly went bankrupt, and I stood by him faithfully when they took the unexpected hit. Then one day, out of the blue, he just dumped me without even giving me an explanation." I glanced down as tears glimmered in my eyes. "It hurt like hell. All the other men in my life were sporadic, nothing serious."

Dumped. I'd always hated that word, and I didn't know how I'd ever overcome all the rejection I'd been through. Because of it, my love life had reached the point where it was virtually nonexistent. My relationships never worked, no matter how hard I tried, so I'd just been throwing myself into my work, trying to keep myself too busy to feel the pain. I was pretty happy being a workaholic, and my career flourished. I'd won awards and titles, and with the money I'd earn by traveling with Jake, I would be able to keep my boutique and eventually start my own fashion line. Nadia was always trying to set me up with men, but I wanted to take a break from relationships and pour all my time, energy, and focus into my business. That was the only reason I was sitting at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with Jake, because I needed the money for my passion.

"Isn't it funny that after all these years, neither one of us have ever found our soulmate?" Jake asked.

I took a long drink of my beer. "I doubt I'll ever find mine. When it comes to the game of love, I'm not exactly an MVP. Heck, I'm lucky if I get to sit on the bench."

"Hmm. Well, I'm not gonna give up on love that easily," he said.

"Wow, Jake. A true romantic, aren't ya?"

He shrugged, blushed a little, then took another sip from his second bottle.

"I hope you find the girl who'll make all your dreams come true."

"Maybe I'm sitting right next to her."

I chuckled. "How many beers have you had?"

"I miss this, our long talks. You've always been so easy to talk to."

"Yeah," I said, recalling those times when he was so willing to listen to me ramble on and on for hours and hours about everything under the sun. Even when I bored him with talk of fabric and color schemes, he never told me to be quiet. Jake had always hung on every word that came out of my mouth, as if truly intrigued

"I really miss that, Ashly. I miss...us."

"It was a long time ago," I said, my words almost as cold as the beer I was finishing. "You shouldn't dwell on the past." With that, I stood and started to walk away.

Jake suddenly pulled me into his arms. "Ashly..." he said.

My heart pounded. "What?"

He softly touched my face. "I don't want to dwell on the past. I want to focus on the future."

There was something about him that I found captivating. It wasn't just his looks; he had a magnetic personality, and he always made me smile, whether I wanted to or not. No one had ever knocked me so off balance before, and I was completely discombobulated. I wanted to blame it on the beer, but I hadn't had enough for that to be the case. I touched his face, cupping it ever so softly with my hand. "I care about you deeply, but nothing will ever happen between us again. You need to accept that."

"If you'd just let down those thick gates you've built up around your heart, Ashly, there could be hope for us."

"I met my best friend and soulmate once, but then he deserted me. It took a long time to get over him because I've never loved someone so deeply. But I moved on, and I vowed to never look back. I'm finally happy, as happy as I can be. I wouldn't be able to handle my world being torn apart a second time, and I'm not willing to risk that for you or anyone else."

"I'm a grown man now, Ashly, and I know what I want. I swear I would never abandon you again. This time, forever would be for real."

Dwelling on the subject was daunting and overwhelming all at once, and I had to get away from him. "I'm gonna take a walk and check out the scenery."

"Can I go with you?"

"If you don't mind, I'd just like to be alone with my thoughts."

He stared at me for a minute. Finally he said, "I understand," and then he gently brushed my arm as he walked past me.

I opened my mouth to tell him not to leave, but the words would not come out. I felt hundreds of butterflies dancing around in my stomach. Part of me wanted to be held in his big, strong arms, to feel his hot breath on my skin, his lips brushing across my earlobe. I wanted him to pull me to his open, waiting mouth, but I cursed myself under my breath for feeling that way. How could Jake have this effect on me? I'm not some silly, naïve schoolgirl. I'm a grown woman, with an impressive résumé and prestigious job—much too grown for the likes of a despicable runaway groom. For a minute, I was frozen, held captive by the words he'd spoken and by the look of sincerity and hopefulness in his eyes when he'd spoken them. But in spite of the beer and his undeniable charm, I soon came back to my senses and knew I was doing the right thing by walking away.

I took my shoes off and waded in the creek for a while, then made my way to Boat Beach, which wasn't far at all, located right along the banks of the Colorado River. Shrubs, small, brushy trees, grass, and several types of cactus dotted the shore. The little crooks in the red walls of the canyon were filled with young cottonwoods. Truly, it was a breathtaking experience to set foot in such a place, and I couldn't stop staring at the spectacular rusty, crimson, and marigold hues splashed across the canyon walls, all that color blending into a perfect mix, and the towering sandstone rock formations. The view was incredible, and the sound and power of the water mesmerized me. There's no feeling on Earth like standing beside the Colorado River with the dark, rough walls towering above you.

As the sun began to pain the sky in a pinkish lavender, I reflected on many things. I still missed my mom terribly, and I reminisced about all the wonderful times we'd shared before her life had been cut short.

Whenever I had problems as a child, I'd build secret forts or go to private corners of the woods. Hiding and distraction had always been my way of dealing with problems. I watched ants carry their leaves, picked up insects, and stared at spiders spinning their intricate webs. I'd make little boats out of leaves and gently set them in the woodland stream, then watch them take their gentle voyage with the current. Life had been so simple, so carefree back then, and I missed that feeling.

Since my breakup with Jake, I'd grown stronger every day, somehow finding the strength to carry me through each passing sunrise and sunset. Nobody understood why it took me so long to get over Jake, not even Nadia. Is it wrong to love someone so passionately? I still wondered. Nevertheless, what had happened between us was in the past, and I knew I'd never allow myself to get involved with Jake again, for he'd only bring me more heartache, and I would not put myself through that. I would never forget the pain of my bleeding heart.

I'd always enjoyed finding a special retreat, a place where I could be alone with my thoughts. That was something else Nadia had never quite understood, as she was the kind of person who had to have someone with her wherever she went. When we were kids, she wouldn't even walk up the street to the corner store without dragging me along. I, on the other hand, could be quite a loner at times. I used to go in the woods, find a boulder fit to be used as furniture, then sit there for hours, and watch and listen as fish swam and gurgled, frogs jumped and croaked, and birds flew and chirped. It was the only thing I could do to get my mind off my parents' fighting, which they did all the time. When they separated for a couple of years, I felt like it was my fault.

Sure, I had grown into an adult, but I knew I was still doing the same damn thing I'd done as a kid, still looking for that special spot, someplace to escape to. There I was again, running away from my problems, hiding from Jake and looking for a distraction at the bottom of a canyon.

Time passed, and before I knew it, the sun was bathing the whole place in dazzling rays, turning the canyon red, pink, and fuchsia. I knew I had to head back before darkness enveloped the canyon floor. I saw the cutest gray fox, some birds, and a bunch of mule deer as I ambled back to the cabin.

When I got back, we sat at the picnic table. Jake eagerly listened to my story, then told me all about his little adventure. The weather was wonderful, giving us a perfect view of the stars and moon in the clear night skies.

"I hiked up the Clear Creek Trail to Phantom Overlook. It was awesome," Jake said. "I also hit the North Kaibab trail to Ribbon Falls, and I took tons of pictures. Then me and some other hikers headed to the cantina, where we had dinner and played cards."

"It sounds lovely."

After a long, exciting day and lulled to sleep by the sounds of nature and the lingering buzz of a little alcohol, my eyes closed in no time.

* * *

When morning came, I awoke to the sound of Jake stirring around. It was only five a.m., and silvery moonlight was still gushing in through the window, giving everything a haunted house glow.

Slowly, Jake climbed out of bed and quickly slipped on a pair of underwear.

I couldn't help but stare at his dazzling looks, his tight six-pack abs, that muscular chest, and those hard biceps. He was adorable in his tightie-whities. "Mornin'," I said as he slipped into his jeans and walked to my bed, still shirtless.

"Good morning," he said.

I stared at his messy, jet-black hair. "Sleep good?"

He flashed me a brilliant white smile. "Like a baby."

"Breakfast is in an hour," I said. "We should go take showers and get ready. I'm starving and don't wanna be late."

He gathered some cleaner clothes than the ones he was already wearing and headed outside to go take a shower.

After I showered, I put on a pair of jeans that fit me like a second skin, and I slipped into a matching denim shirt. I pulled my hair into a long French braid and used very little makeup, since I was sure I'd sweat it off anyway.

When Jake came back from his shower, I couldn't help sweeping my gaze over his well-fitting jeans and white T-shirt, a classic look I'd always found sexy. The T-shirt clung to his broad shoulders, chest, and bulging biceps. His jeans fit him perfectly and emphasized his narrow waist. I knew if I didn't stop drooling, he was going to notice.

He touched the brim of his cowboy hat and tipped it toward me. "Ya ready to go git some vittles, pretty lady?" he asked in his best John Wayne, which was humorous at best.

"I'm starving," I said, smiling. "Let's go."

The scrambled eggs, bacon, and coffee was delicious and helped to wake us up.

After the scrumptious meal, I mounted my mule, and we took off on our journey out of the canyon, back to the top. The mules rested a few times as we went uphill, making for the perfect photo opportunities, allowing me to snap some fantastic pictures, memories I'd treasure forever. Again I had to be thankful for the cowboy hat, because the sun was beating down hard.

Finally, Earl had gotten me back to the top, and I couldn't have been more thankful. We hung out for a while, walked some trails, and observed the canyon from that perspective before we headed back to the hotel.

* * *

Once we returned to our far less rustic accommodations, I unpacked, took another shower, and put on clean clothes to lounge around in. I called Nadia, only to discover that she'd been going crazy trying to run the boutique all by herself.

I looked at my watch and realized I had just enough time to call one of our vendors right before they closed. I looked up their number and dialed, only to be passed from one person to another. "Listen," I said, "we need that material ASAP. So help me God, if this delay causes us to miss the deadline for getting this design in our collection, I will cancel all future orders and tell all of my colleagues to do the same."

Jake peeked in his head, excitement flooding his face. "You've gotta see this sunset."

"Can't you see I'm on the phone?" I snapped.

Jake ignored my hostile tone, then motioned for me to come outside.

I just rolled my eyes at him and continued, "I need that shipment...and I need it now!"

Click.

After I hung up in a rage, Jake softly touched my arm and led me outside. The horizon truly was something to see, with vivid, flaming reds and fiery oranges in swirls spreading out as far as my eye could see, as if the whole sky was made up of some kind of psychedelic paisley pattern that I would have killed to have in a nice cotton blend. Once again, the chasm took my breath away.

I turned to face Jake. "This is spectacular."

"You miss out on so much when you won't get off that phone of yours," he scolded.

I wanted to lash out at him and tell him to mind his own business while I was minding mine, but he was right.

"When was the last time you left that stupid thing at home and actually took a look at the world around you? Before this trip, when did you take time to enjoy a forest or grasslands or all the tiny details of nature? You used to love the outdoors. Heck, we even counted ridges on a leaf once, remember? When was the last time you looked at the dewdrops on an intricate spider web or walked barefoot in the sand?"

I bit my lip hard in thought. "So I'm a workaholic. What's it to you?"

"It's just...sad. I still love to backpack, hike, and camp. It's my way of being out here in nature. I work hard, too, but I take time out to enjoy nature's beauty."

"I guess since I've grown up, I've never really slowed down enough to think about it. I feel like I've been on the move for years, like I'm always in a hurry, speeding down some freeway I can't pull off of without crashing. Maybe I do need to stop and smell the roses...and the cottonwoods."

"Well, it's admirable to work hard, but you should work to live, not live to work. It's all about balance. I've learned a lot of lessons since you knew me before, and that's one of them."

"Gee, Mr. Miyagi, now can you teach me to stand like a crane on a log long enough to kick someone in the face?"

"Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance, everything be better. Understand?" he said, his Okinawan mentor impression not much better than his John Wayne, which made me laugh at him all over again.

Chapter 9

We spent a couple days relaxing and marveling at the Grand Canyon before we headed out for our next stop, the Royal Malewane, located on the Thornybush Game Reserve and adjacent to Kruger National Park in South Africa. It was one of Africa's most popular places to stay and home to the big five: buffalo, elephant, leopard, lion, and rhino.

When we arrived in Johannesburg, we had to take one more flight on a small plane, as that was the only way to reach our destination other than driving five to seven hours. The flight was a little bumpy, but we got there in an hour in a half, and I was thankful when we landed safely on a dirt airstrip.

Two friendly men were waiting for us in an open-top Land Rover. "It's so wonderful to meet you, Jake and Ashly," one said. "I'll be serving as your tracker and guide for the duration of your stay. My name is Anto." He had dark skin and a beautiful smile.

I shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"This is Derrick," Anto said. "He is your ranger."

I smiled and shook Derrick's hand as well.

They popped open the trunk and took care of our luggage, then started the engine and sped off.

I couldn't stop staring at the animals all around me. Shouting in excitement, I pointed to impala trampling through the bush. I looked over at Jake and saw that he was grinning from ear to ear, also enjoying our safari.

When we arrived, we walked up a wooden walkway to the entrance, where we were greeted by smiling faces. Several people handed us cool towels and tropical fruit drinks, greeting us like royalty and instantly making us feel welcomed.

I took a long sip of my refreshing drink and thanked the woman who had handed it to me. "Mmm! Very good," I said, nodding at her.

The woman's gaze drifted from Jake to me. "You make beautiful couple," she said.

I bit my lip and looked at Jake awkwardly.

He just shrugged at me, then smiled at the woman. "We are having a wonderful time together, and we can't wait to experience Africa."

"It's a beautiful place," she said. "I hope you enjoy your stay with us here."

Jake went with the manager to check us in, leaving me to talk to the woman.

She smiled sweetly at me. "Please come. I escort you to your suite."

As she led me down the boardwalk, my gaze drifted out toward the bush. Elephants roamed freely, and giraffes stretched their necks to munch on leaves. I couldn't stop gaping; I'd never seen an elephant or giraffe roaming free, outside a cage.

All the suites were elevated on stilts and reminded me of bungalows. Ours was spacious and decorated with dark wood furniture, a beautiful fireplace, a dining room, a kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom with a Victorian bathtub next to a floor-to-ceiling glass window and shower, antiques, and a huge canopy bed. It was more like an apartment than any suite I'd ever been in, and the whole layout took my breath away. There was a fully stocked bar, and the refrigerator was filled with soda, snacks, and candy.

I glanced out the huge windows in the living room and could see our private outdoor terrace and a lovely view of the bush. There were no curtains, so I had a clear, panoramic view every time I looked out. We even had our own wraparound wooden deck, a plunge pool, and thatched gazebo. I couldn't believe there was a cabana, an outdoor living area with sofas and a dining table, and even an outside shower. I smiled at the champagne chilling in a fancy silver bucket of ice.

Sweat was pouring down my back, so I decided it was time to cool off. I quickly changed into my bathing suit and climbed into the plunge pool that overlooked a clearing in the untamed African bush. It was refreshing, and as I looked around me, I couldn't believe where I was. I was surrounded by plush green, a choir of birds I'd never heard before, and a chorus of monkeys, as well, lullabied by the trickling, soothing water coming from the plunge pool.

"We're all checked in," Jake said when he returned. "You gotta take a look around this place. There's a library, a shop, a swimming pool, a spa, and more. I'm gonna hit the gym after we settle in." He opened up the champagne, then handed me a glass. "Mind if I join you?" he asked casually.

I reached for the glass and thanked him. "I'll be out in a few minutes. Then it's all yours."

He nodded and headed back inside.

I sprawled out and enjoyed my scenic view for a while longer, until a grunt echoed in the air, causing me to drop my glass of champagne. A chill shot down my spine as I anxiously glanced around. "Hey, Jake! Something's out here!" I shouted.

"We're in the middle of the bush," Jake called back. "What do you expect?"

"Okay, Tarzan. You don't have to be a jackass!"

Much to my disbelief, two elephant trunks popped up and started slurping my pool water.

My heart raced. "Jake!" I called frantically. "Get out here!"

He rushed out. "What's the matter?"

"Look!"

He smiled. "Looks like you've got company. How rude of you not to offer them a drink. They had to get their own."

"Ha-ha," I said, rolling my eyes at him yet again.

"Don't worry. We're high enough that they can't trample us."

Jake went inside and grabbed his camera to snap a few shots of our priceless encounter with Dumbo and Jumbo. I couldn't wait to send the photos to Nadia. I stayed still, so as not to spook them as they drank away, trying to quench their thirst. Although my heart was pounding, it was one of the neatest things I'd ever seen. Jake and I looked at each other and chuckled.

Jake suddenly pointed down. "Your phone!"

I followed his gaze and saw an adorable but ornery-looking monkey on the deck, playing with my most prized possession. "My cell!" I rushed out of the pool and grabbed Jake's arm. "Jake, you have to get it. I'll be lost without my phone. It has everything on it. It's my life!"

He rushed inside and came out with an apple, which he knelt down and offered to the monkey. "Hungry, fella?"

The animal started making hooting sounds that varied in pitch and volume. Then it let out a long screech and threw the phone.

Jake picked up the phone as the monkey snatched the apple, then darted into the trees. "You might wanna put your phone away. They love shiny objects," Jake said. "Wouldn't want our newfound friends playing volleyball, soccer, and basketball with this thing, now would we?"

I wrapped myself in a towel. "Thanks, Jake. I can't believe my cell almost got hijacked by a monkey."

"First elephants and now monkeys. What's next?" he asked.

We both looked at each other and burst out in laughter.

* * *

I wore a long, blue dress with a sweetheart neckline and pinned my hair in an elegant up-do. I wanted something chic and elegant, yet simple and glittery to complement my outfit. So I opted to go with my cubic zirconia collection, a diamond necklace, studs, and a tennis bracelet. Jake wore a white dress shirt with brown slacks. I could see the outline of his muscles stretching across his bulging arms and chest. I couldn't help but breathe a little harder. It may be cliché, but he was tall, dark, and handsome.

I could feel his heated gaze on me and looked away.

"You look beautiful," he said.

"Thank you," I said, smiling. "You look really nice too."

"Are you ready?"

"Sure."

We headed to a lavish feast in the middle of the bush with a few other couples. Jake looped his arm in mine and we strolled down a lantern-lit pathway where intimate tables clustered around a fancy buffet under the African night sky. Everyone was happy and smiling, the mood relaxed. A woman smiled and handed us each a flute of French champagne. The place was lit up with dozens of Moroccan lanterns, hanging from the tree branches. Candles lit all the tables dressed in fancy white linens, and everything looked so romantic, elegant, and magical. I felt like I was in a fairytale romance. The tables were beautifully decorated with arrangements of flowers, fine china, and crystal glasses. The moon sliced through the darkness and illuminated the sky, bouncing its light off the stars that pierced the black velvet. We talked to the hosts and some of the other travelers. Everyone was so nice, and we all shared our stories and adventures.

I loved listening to the harmony of nocturnal animals and insects, singing like a choir all around me. We stargazed over our flutes of champagne and made lots of small talk.

"This is one vacation I'll never forget," Jake said.

"It's breathtaking," I said. "I can't wait to get back and put a scrapbook together. I've gotten so many wonderful and fantastic shots of the animals and landscape."

"I'm having the best time."

I glanced around. "It is the ultimate dream vacation."

He clanked my glass, his face beaming. "To us."

I didn't know what to say to that comment. Part of me wanted to say something sarcastic and spiteful, but I refrained. I promised myself I'd be on my best behavior. So I just smiled.

A woman came over and took our empty glasses, then offered us Dawas she had on a serving tray.

"What's in it?" I asked curiously.

"It's a popular Kenyan cocktail made with vodka, honey, lime juice and crushed ice," she said. "It's very good."

I reached for a glass. "Sure, I'd love to try one."

Jake gulped his right down.

I took a tentative drink and gagged. "It's very strong."

"You're more of a wine girl," he teased.

I chuckled. "I think so, but I'm always up to trying a new experience."

"Dinner is ready," a man announced.

Jake grinned. "Shall we?"

I smiled. "Yes, I'm famished."

Delicious aromas filled the air all around us. "Everything smells so divine."

"Our chef is truly amazing," a woman said as she motioned us to the buffet.

Our meal included salad, some local dishes and I wasn't sure what they were, breads, goat stew, ugali, steak, ostrich, chicken, lamb, corn on the cob, tilapia, and boerewors, which was a South African sausage that I'd been dying to try.

I filled my plate with all kinds of goodies. Jake pulled out my chair for me to sit down and I thanked him with a smile.

"What's for dessert?" Jake asked our hostess as she walked by.

"Pineapple surprise. Afolabi just has to decide how much rum to flambé it with."

"Tell him lots," the blonde woman in a glitzy silver dress said.

We all laughed.

Every time I looked up, I caught Jake staring into my eyes. He was basking in the silver-white glow, his eyes sparking in the flickering candlelight. His jet-black hair hung in waves to his shoulders. Old memories flooded my mind as I stared at his beautiful face and soft lips. I imagined my lips pressed against his. Oh, how I wanted to taste those lips, that mouth, his kiss. I remembered his hair sweeping across my skin as he left trails of kisses down my body. I could still remember the feel of his lips. I could remember every single detail, how good it felt to have him hold me. I wanted nothing more than to embrace him in my arms.

"This is amazing," he said, taking my hand.

I felt the electricity from his touch, and I was stumbling for words. I pulled away and sipped my wine. "This dinner is so elegant," I said.

"I can't believe I'm getting the chance to dine under the African sky with lions, zebras, and giraffes, drinking wine with a gorgeous woman, and listening to a beautiful symphony of insects. I've died and gone to heaven."

"You're being so sweet, but yes, this is a little slice of heaven."

"How about another toast?" he asked. "To making it to Africa."

"Cheers!" I said, clinking his glass.

I ate my dinner rather quickly and excused myself as politely as I could. Having dinner with Jake in such a romantic setting was too painful, like being back on the beach, watching the sunset. My heart just ached, badly, and smiling through his small talk wasn't exactly working for me.

"Ashly, please stay," he said. "How often does one get a romantic dinner out in the middle of the bush?"

"Not often, Jake, but I'm afraid that moment, for us, is gone forever."

"I don't believe that. We might've lost it five years ago, but I'm here to fix it."

By no means did I want to have the same old talk about us again. "I'm tired, and we have a big day tomorrow," I said. "But it sure was beautiful."

He stood. "I'll go back with you. Tarzan no want Jane to get eaten by lion," he said, beating his chest.

As I laughed, he grinned. I always loved the way he made me smile.

"That was a good Tarzan impression," I said.

He chuckled, then put his hand on my back and led me back to our suite.

* * *

The next day, we had breakfast on the patio overlooking the watering hole and saw a family of warthogs.

After breakfast, Anto, our guide and tracker met up with us. We were going on an overnight camping trip so we could get up close and personal with the bush. He'd warned us not to wear bright colors because it would make us conspicuous to the wildlife. He had told us not to wear dark colors either, because they would absorb too much heat. Plus, tsetse flies love blue or black, so it was best to dress in neutral colors such as khaki, beige, olive, and green, with a safari hat to avoid sunburn.

I followed his guidelines and got dressed, then strapped my camera around my neck.

Our Land Rover had no roof or doors, just three staggered bench seats behind the driver. That allowed for a spectacular 360-degree view of the wilderness all around us. As I climbed into the vehicle, Anto turned on some soothing safari music. It was so serene to listen to the music while staring at the beautiful scenery of Africa. I clung to my seat as we raced over a million bumps. It was hot and dusty, but it was nothing less than one of the adventures I'd always dreamt about, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Our funny and friendly guide harbored a wealth of knowledge and told us facts about every animal and plant we saw. He even explained how to make toothpaste from local plants. As if that wasn't amazing enough, he could even identify animal tracks in the dirt and could tell how long ago an animal had been in the vicinity.

We drove through miles of golden, baking-hot grasslands when I saw a flash of yellow against the green reeds.

"Look!" I shouted.

"Leopard," Anto said calmly. He stopped the Land Rover so we could observe the world's fastest runner up close.

She was gorgeous and slowly crept up to us.

"Uh, guys, she's getting closer," I said.

"Isn't she magnificent?" Jake said in amazement.

Suddenly, the young leopard leapt on our vehicle, and my heart pounded in my throat. I met Anto's gaze and smiled. "Um...in case you didn't notice, there's a wildcat on the hood."

He just laughed nonchalantly as the leopard made herself comfortable on our hood, staring at me with her amber eyes, so close that I could make out each of her white whiskers.

As frightened as I was, I couldn't resist the urge to snap several photos. "We're safe, right?" I asked.

"Wild animals are unpredictable," the tour guide said, "but she's just a baby."

"But babies have mamas," Jake chimed in.

We enjoyed the moment for as long as it lasted. After a few minutes of lazily resting on the hood, the leopard jumped down and gracefully walked off.

"Wow," I said. "My heart was beating a million miles a minute, but I got it on film!"

Jake put the lens cover back on his camera. "I bet we both got some fantastic shots."

We drove in and out of the bush and stopped to watch a herd of zebras, springboks, and impalas, who were sitting in the shade, trying to cool off. After a few more amazing pictures, we ventured on.

A few minutes later, Anto slammed on his brakes at the sight of a large, muscular lion standing right in the middle of the road, only about five feet in front of us. The sun beaming down on us from above gave the lion a golden aura. Never before had I been so close to the king of the jungle without the safety of a thick glass or moat to protect me. The majestic, powerful beast had distinctive gold fur and a long, thick, bushy impressive mane. He cast us an amber stare, as if he was curious.

"He's...huge," I said, my mouth agape.

"I can see why he's king," Jake said. "Surely no animal in their right mind would mess with him!"

"The lion is a symbol of power and dominance," Anto said, gripping the steering wheel. "He can eat up to forty pounds of meat in one sitting."

"Whoa! That's, like, over a hundred Big Macs!" Jake exclaimed.

I shot Jake a big smile. "I dare you to go pet the kitty."

He playfully slugged me. "Not a chance."

"Why doesn't he attack?" I asked.

"He's not interested in eating a vehicle, but it might be a different story if we get out."

I chuckled. "I think I'll stay put."

"We're not moving until the lion gets out of the way," Anto said, shaking his head and clicking his teeth. "Today it was a lion, yesterday twenty-foot-tall giraffes."

"That's a whole other kind of traffic jam than what I'm used to!" I said.

The lion let out an intimidating roar, stretching his powerful jaws wide. Staring in amazement, I aimed my camera and started snapping, just in time to capture the big cat with his mouth open. After making his presence known with that roar, the lion shook his head and strolled away as if he didn't have a care in the world, which he probably didn't.

Once the lion had trotted off across the veldt, Anto pressed the gas on the Land Rover and took us to the place where water buffalo were known to gather. Our assignment was to have our picture taken next to a wild herd.

"Ah, the perfect spot!" Anto said as he parked the vehicle.

I grabbed my camera and stepped out. Beneath my feet, the grass was a deep gold, the same color as the lion we'd seen, and above me, the skies were blue and filled with raptors, like something out of prehistoric times. Acacia trees stretched out for endless miles.

We waded through a river, which wasn't nearly as easy as they made it look in the movies, and before long, I was panting from the effort. Pebbles shifted under my shoes as I walked to the other side, and under the stifling weight of my wet clothes, I stumbled over a rock or two. I just hoped no crocs lurked nearby. In spite of the difficult river crossing and my trepidation about being eaten alive, the spectacular wilderness, undisturbed wildlife, and breathtaking scenery was a dream come true. As I stared around me, I couldn't stop smiling. Everything in every direction was absolutely stunning.

My gaze drifted to Jake. My cheeks grew hot as I stared at the safari shirt stretching across his broad shoulders and strong chest, with the sleeves rolled up at the elbow. Khaki pants were the perfect finish for his swashbuckler ensemble. His black hair hung in shaggy waves under his hat. He looked really hot, but there was no way I'd ever admit that to anyone. The guy still made me furious. If he'd had a bullwhip, I would have wanted to strangle him with it.

Anto advised that we should hike downwind so the herd wouldn't smell us. I stared ahead through the tall elephant grass. As the buffalos grazed, their tails and ears wagged and twitched. Their reek drifted through the air, and I covered my nose with my hand. Nonetheless, I peered straight ahead. The animals resembled overgrown oxen, with short faces, wide muzzles, and a flat forehead with prominent eyes. A thick layer of mud covered their dull, gray skin. I stared at their giant heads and enormous, white, curvy horns that stretched out to a five-foot span. Even the smallest of the beasts had to weigh close to a ton, and most stood six feet at the shoulder.

I heard the snap of a twig, followed by a loud crunch as we moved along, and I was terrified the noise would alert the animals that there were intruders at their buffet. "Is this really such a good idea?" I asked, fearing I'd be trampled any minute.

"We need that picture, and we're gonna get it," Jake said, taking another daring step closer like it didn't even faze him. "That's no bull!" he said with a grin.

"Stop," I said, rolling my eyes at him.

"What?" he said, feigning innocence.

When we were within twenty-five feet of the buffalo, I could hear them chomping away on grass. I tugged Anto's arm. "This is close enough, right?"

He nodded.

I let out a sigh of relief. "What if they charge us?" I whispered.

"They'll run first. But if they do charge, don't run. Just lie flat on the ground behind me and my gun."

"What!? I don't wanna be a doormat for those things!" I said. "We'll be trampled!"

"Maybe...or maybe not," Anto said, shrugging. "It's still our best chance."

I let out a long breath. It was official: Our guide didn't care if he lived or died. He was carrying a rifle, but I was sure those measly bullets wouldn't do anything to stop the whole herd, if even one of the massive creatures.

Jake handed Anto the camera, then the guide slinked into the grass cautiously, looked around for a moment, and climbed on top of a large rock. He motioned for us to stand closer together, and Jake took full opportunity of the necessary closeness, slipping his arm around me. "Smile," Anto whispered.

I rolled my eyes when Jake pulled me even closer.

"Smile!" the man whispered more insistently.

Realizing he wasn't going to give up, I finally smiled. All things considered, having to stand next to Jake for a photo was slightly less hazardous than being killed in a stampede because I didn't want to say "Cheese."

After Anto snapped the picture, he jumped back down and handed Jake the camera.

Jake glanced down at the digital image. "It's good."

"Great," I said. "Let's go."

As I took a step away, another twig snapped. The beasts lifted their heads and snorted. I instinctively grabbed Jake's arm, and he protectively moved me behind him.

Suddenly, there was a pounding of hooves, but when I peered around Jake, I was relieved to see them running off to the left.

I turned around, with my nerves still on edge, only to see a lioness bolting out of the tall grass. I backed up slowly, but to my surprise, she ignored us and made her way to some thicker vegetation, where a dead animal was waiting for her to feast upon. I couldn't even make out what kind of animal it had once been, but its insides were strewn about.

Jake grabbed my arm and led me to the right.

Wide-eyed, I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the lioness wasn't following us, and I was thankful she wasn't. The last thing I wanted was to end up like that dead animal.

We made it back safely to our vehicle and sped off. I hung on as we continued the bumpy ride over rocks, brush, and fallen branches. Everything was so beautiful and I couldn't stop staring up at the indigo sky dotted with the most fluffy, white clouds. It was the prettiest sky I'd ever seen. I never took time out like this for myself, and it was nothing short of amazing. After a few minutes, Anto slowed down.

"Look ahead!" he pointed.

I stared at the magnificent elephants through my binoculars and watched the old matriarchs lead the way as their precious families and young calves lumbered right behind them on the green and brown earth. Suddenly, a blur caught my eye. An ostrich sped past us going so fast, I swear it could've been mistaken for a road runner.

"Get a picture!" Jake said.

I snapped, but I was sure it was nothing more than a blur.

"Did you get it?" he asked.

When I glanced down at the view finder, I was pleasantly surprised. "I sure did!"

Jake shot me the biggest grin ever as the wind whipped through his hair.

Chapter 10

On the way to our camp, we saw more lions feeding on a buffalo carcass. Looking through my binoculars, I even caught a glimpse of six white rhinos and one black one with her baby. I watched a leopard drinking at a waterhole, only to be chased away by an angry herd of elephants, and I also saw a wild pack of dogs with at least ten pups. We saw lots of giraffe, hippos, and antelope. Every time I saw a new animal, my excitement grew. Our African safari was, by far, one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and I made sure to document everything with my camera.

When we set up camp, I realized that Jake and I would be forced to share a tent; we were informed that if we separated, it would break the requirements of the will. Since we didn't want to risk being disqualified, we had to play by the rules. Jake wanted to sleep under the stars, but our guide was against that, because it wasn't safe at all. I actually had to agree with Anto; as much as Jake was on my nerves, I didn't want him to get eaten by a lion or bitten by a malaria-carrying mosquito.

After dinner, we sat by the fire and chatted with Anto. He had been a tracker for twenty years, and he had the best stories to share by the fireside. We listened anxiously and hung on his every word. The black sky twinkled with billions of glittering stars, a breathtakingly dazzling display.

After a while, I excused myself and sat down in front of our camp to watch an approaching lightning storm. Black clouds drifted in the sky as bright flashes of light lit up the golden grasslands. We were serenaded by the natural sounds of the wildlife around us. The little slice of African wilderness truly touched my heart and soul. Just being out there in the bush, practically alone with my thoughts, was a life-changing time for me.

After about an hour, Jake approached. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes. Everything I dreamt of and more."

"I'd love to spend another week in Africa."

"I know, but we don't have that kind of time. It's so peaceful and serene here, though. I could just sit here for hours with my thoughts."

"Being with you is just as magical for me as Africa," he said. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Ashly, not once. I've wondered what you've been up to all these years."

"Well, you didn't just ditch out on me, Jake. You also left your friends and family. You didn't bother calling or emailing them, either, and they didn't know if you were dead or alive. You just dropped off the face of the Earth."

"I was just...ashamed." He paused for a minute, then continued, "I actually came home a couple times, but you were so busy with school."

"I didn't know you came back."

"Only a handful of people knew. I know you've always loved fashion and photography, so I'm glad you've been able to combine your two passions into a career." A smirk grew across his lips. "I remember how long you used to spend choosing your outfit, fixing your hair, and putting on makeup."

"Well, I had to look good. After all, you were the hottest guy in school. I had to make sure your attention didn't stray."

"My attention? Ashly, you've always taken my breath away."

I smiled. "Thank you, Jake."

"How much longer do you plan on being a fashion photographer and journalist?"

"I'm kind of sinking trying to do that while running my own business. Like that old movie, something's gotta give. When my business takes off, as I hope it will, I'll have to quit my job. But I also wanna start my own fashion magazine, so my journalism skills will come in handy."

"You're so smart and talented. If anybody can do it, you can."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

He smiled. "Anytime. You know, I remember a few of our photo sessions. Didn't that one, uh...risqué one of me win first place in one of your photo shows? It had a black background, and I was looking down."

I cleared my throat and looked away. "You weren't naked, Jake. You were covering yourself with your hands, and it was a sensual photo. Nobody knew it was you because I shadowed your face."

"Sensual, huh? Well, I'd like to retake that shot."

A chill shot down my spine. "Are you serious?"

A sexy grin spread over his face, and his eyes sparkled with mischief. "Dead serious."

I met his gaze, and our eyes locked for a minute. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how anyone could be so damn handsome. My breath froze as I imagined what he looked like naked, in his grown-up body.

He shifted his stance. "Look at you, a blushing beauty," he mocked.

"That's only because it's so hot out here," I said, fanning myself. "And the answer to your question is no. I'm not retaking the shot."

"But I think I can bring a lot more to the picture now—you know, in an artsy sort of way."

"Is that just your fancy, humble way of saying it'll be better because you're so buff now?"

He smiled. "I wasn't aware that you'd noticed."

"Right," I said. "You'd have to strip down to recreate that photo, and I think there are a lot of things we need to leave in the past, Jake."

"I can't make that kind of promise," he said, slowly walking away.

* * *

That night, I decided it was best to sleep in my clothes; the African bush, in a tent, with Jake didn't exactly call for a silk nightie. After I checked the sleeping bag for creepy-crawlies, I slipped inside it and made myself cozy. I also made sure I was on the other side of the tent, so Jake wouldn't get any ideas.

Jake turned off the lantern. "Today has been amazing."

"I can't argue with that," I said, snuggling into my pillow. "It's not exactly some glitzy, five-star hotel, but this is pretty awesome, everything we talked about and more. There's something magical about Africa," I said.

"Right, it can't be experienced in some fancy resort or from the safety of a Jeep."

"Definitely."

"Ashly..." Jake said.

"Yes?" I said over the chorus of zillions of nocturnal insects buzzing and humming in the air.

"There's a question I've been dying to ask you."

"Do I still load my burger with tons of mustard? Yes."

He laughed.

I smirked in the darkness. "Do you still drown your eggs in ketchup?"

"Yep," he said, his tone serious, "but that wasn't the question."

"Just trying to keep the situation light."

"Do you think you'll ever really want to get married again?" he asked.

"Can't we just talk about condiments?"

"Come on, Ashly."

"We had such a good day. Why ruin it with all this? Like I said, the past is the past."

"I just need to know."

I let out a sigh. "Sure, someday. I didn't before because...well, it didn't exactly turn out like I hoped the first time around. If anyone proposed to me again and I accepted, I'd just go to the justice of the peace. Inviting all those people to my wedding and then being stood up like that is something I can't go through again." I gazed in his direction, even though I couldn't see anything in the darkness. "I never bothered to ask. Are you married...or have you even been married?"

"Like I told you before, I made a stupid mistake with you, and I regret it every day. No woman has ever been able to fill the void. So no. I'm not married, and I don't plan to be. Without you, I don't see the point."

"So there's nobody special to share all that money with?"

"No, nobody. My last serious relationship ended a year ago."

"Well, I hope you don't think just because we're both single and have a past together..." I paused. "Just know I'm not available, Jake—not to you. I never will be again."

"You're still bitter."

"What do you expect? Damn straight I'm bitter. I don't think I'll ever get over it."

"I didn't mean to stir all this up, Ashly. I'm sorry. I just want to say I'm glad we're friends...and that I really enjoy being out here with you, even if you are still angry with me and hardly speak to me without being cold and distant."

"I'm not sure what you expect from me, Jake. All things considered, it's taking everything in me for me to be civil with you."

"You're still as beautiful as I remember."

I was growing sick of his flattery, which wasn't really getting him anywhere but deeper down on my shit list. "Goodnight, Jake," I said, then turned over in a huff.

"Goodnight, Ashly."

And with that, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

It was little use to try and get some rest, for as beautiful as Africa was during the day, it was very noisy at night. The tent flapped all night and kept waking me up. And then those nocturnal birds Anto told me about were super loud with their distinctive and characteristic calls. Anto had called them Fiery-necked Night Jars.

Then the hairs on my neck stood straight up when a lion's roar echoed in the night. It started out with a few deep, long roars. I listened intently as the roars ended up turning into a series of shorter ones, and for thirty minutes, lions prowled outside our tents. When I managed the courage to look outside, I saw the shadows of at least ten animals.

"Don't worry. They don't want us," Jake whispered over the squawking and chirping of the birds outside. Then he pointed at a spot in the distance, where several lionesses were tearing into an unfortunate bushbuck.

I could only snuggle down into my sleeping bag like some terrified caterpillar, my heart beating a petrified symphony in my chest. I was excited that they were so close, but scared at the same time. "Can't they find someplace else to enjoy their midnight snack?" I joked.

"This is what nature's all about," Jake responded. "Wow! Life on safari doesn't get much better than this." Jake looked at me, then back out around us, his eyes wide. "Isn't this amazing?"

Before I could answer, a hyena whooped in the distance, making me gasp.

"A little jumpy?" he whispered, wearing a big smile.

"Jake, there are meat-eaters out there, giant cats on the prowl and striped, laughing dogs. Pardon me for being a little on edge."

"Bring your sleeping bag over by me. I won't bite."

"Not a chance."

Something crashed in the trees, pulling down branches.

My imagination went wild with the possibilities. "What's that?" I asked.

"Elephants."

Another lion roared, and loud trumpets filled the air, followed by more crashing feet.

I grabbed Jake's arm in a panic.

"That's just the lions scaring off the elephants," Jake said.

I clutched my heart, trying to stay brave.

He peeked out the tent window again. "The lions are bored with us. They're leaving."

I let out a long sigh of relief. "Good. Maybe I can get some sleep now," I said.

"Don't worry. You'll get more sleep on our next destination."

"Which is?" I asked, since our near-death experience had my mind going in circles, causing me to completely forget our agenda.

"The sand dunes, then Paris."

"Paris," I said slowly. That was supposed to be our dream spot, the perfect place for lovers. I wondered why my mom had been so cruel as to order me to go to the City of Love with a man I despised.

I remembered all the passionate ways he'd planned to kiss me in front of the Eiffel Tower, the moonlight strolls we talked about, and those romantic boat rides that would lazily drift down the Seine River. We were going to eat a huge plate of oysters at the tiny Regis and splurge on a huge seafood platter at Le Dome. We planned to drink Chablis, Sancerre, Muscadet, and lots of champagne from fancy glasses. I'd also planned a self-guided kissing tour, with the help of a book I'd bought, aptly titled The Best Places to Kiss in Paris. I'd mapped out a fantastic day based on the most romantic locations, fifteen perfect spots, including a just-the-two-of-us picnic in our hotel room. Jake had loved the idea, and had teased me about being so sentimental. Jake and I had spent hours talking about Paris and planning the perfect vacation, but that was just one of those things I had to leave in the past. This time, we'd be going there as just friends, if even that, and I found that very sad.

Frowning, I told Jake goodnight again and crawled back into my sleeping bag. I refused to get any closer to him, lions or not. Trying to tune all thoughts of Jake out of my head, I listened to the beautiful sounds of nature. The symphony of hoots, shrieks, buzzes, and whistles eventually lulled me to sleep.

I jolted awake again when the crunch of leaves and the snap of twigs hit my ears, followed by loud wheezing ripping through the air. I strained my neck to listen as my heart skipped a beat. I lay as still as I could, and I heard something walking on dry, crackling grass. The noise sounded much closer than last time, and I worried that razor-sharp claws would tear through the flimsy tent material and rip us to shreds.

Chapter 11

"Jake!" my voice became a whisper, and my stomach fluttered. When he didn't answer, I crept across the tent and turned on the lantern. "Jake!" I said again, shaking him. "They're back!"

His eyes fluttered open. "Ashly?"

"Jake!"

"What's wrong?"

"I heard something. Something's out there."

He listened, but everything had gone completely still. "The tent's probably flapping again. It's been doing it all night."

"I swore I heard something, and it wasn't the tent. Maybe it's an elephant or a lion. What if it's a rhino? All that separates us from those dangerous predators is a flimsy wall of brown fabric."

A smile grew across his face. "If you're that worried, lie next to me. I'll keep you safe."

I slugged him. "Get that silly grin off your face. I swear I heard something. I assure you I'm not just trying to get in your...uh, sleeping bag."

He stared at me. "You're shaking. You're really scared to death?"

I let out a long breath. "Yeah."

"Bring your sleeping bag over here. I promise to be a perfect gentleman."

"I'd rather be eaten by whatever is out there than come anywhere near you!"

"Ouch," he said, sitting up.

When I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt, I was taken aback. In fact, I was relatively certain he was completely naked inside his sleeping bag. Jake always slept naked, and being in a jungle hadn't changed him.

"Put on some clothes, Jake," I said, turning around to give him some privacy.

"Why?" he asked. "Whatever it was, our voices must've scared it off."

I listened intently. "You're right. I think it's gone."

"I'll go take a quick look so you have peace of mind."

"That would make me feel a whole lot safer," I said, daring a peek over my shoulder when I heard him rustling around in the tent. "Are you dressed yet?"

"Yes, but what if I wasn't? You would've gotten a sneak peek, looking at me like that—a real, uh...sensual peek."

"Please don't sleep naked on this trip," I said.

"You used to love it."

"If you could abide by my wishes, that'd be fantastic."

"Who do you think you are, the African queen or something? I hate wearing clothes at night."

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you making everything so hard? You said yourself that we're just friends, so trying acting like one. None of my other friends sleep in the nude around me."

"Not even Nadia? That might be kinda hot," he joked.

"Shut up, Jake," I said, not finding the humor in it.

"I apologize, Highness, but I can't sleep in clothes."

"Listen, I'm a little freaked right now, okay?" I said, turning toward the tent exit. "Your striptease isn't exactly helping me right now."

He suddenly touched my shoulder. His soft touch electrified me, and a jolt raced straight for my heart. "It's okay," he breathed into my ear, his voice as soft and husky as his alluring, manly aroma.

"I'm fine," I said, turning from him.

He began to rub the hard knots in my shoulders, something he used to do to calm me down. I found it almost impossibly difficult to concentrate with his big arms wrapped around me. Damn, he smells good. His hands caressed the hollow of my back as he whispered my name in my ear. I yearned to feel my body pressed closer to his rock-hard, muscular frame. I closed my eyes. His touch was like magic. Then, suddenly, I was snapped back into reality. I didn't want him touching me. We were barely friends and nothing more. Biting my lip, I tore away from him.

"Ashly..." he said.

Suddenly, another twig snapped.

"Shh. It's back." I held my breath, my mind racing. Whatever it was, it was moving through the thick vegetation, its snorts and grunts coming closer. Something big was coming our way, powerful steps crashed through, each one louder than the last. Waiting to pounce? Coming to get us? What kind of animal could make that much noise? I didn't want to stick around to find out, but I was terrified to leave our flimsy excuse for shelter. I heard a loud blast of air being blown, followed by a louder grunt, and I tried to ignore the knots in my stomach. "Is that some kind of wild animal, or what?"

He shined a flashlight beam toward the ground, his mouth set in a hard line. "Wait here. I'll go check it out."

"Armed with nothing but a flashlight?" I reached toward him, my fingers brushing his arm. "No! Please don't go out there, Jake."

"Aw. Jane scared for Tarzan?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't hate you enough to want to see you get ripped apart by a wild animal," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Listen, I'll be fine. I'm positive it's not lions, if that's any relief."

I took a deep breath as I peered into his eyes. "I'm coming with you," I said, grabbing a flashlight.

Knowing there was no use in arguing with me, he nodded and opened the tent slowly.

I pointed my flashlight beam down and gasped at all the footprints everywhere. Animals were getting a little too close for comfort. The place smelled damp and earthy, and could hear the creature smacking its thick, moose-like lips as it moved closer. I opened my mouth, but my voice remained trapped somewhere in my throat. I couldn't breathe and couldn't move; every muscle in my body tensed—all except for my heart, which thrummed like the beating wings of a hummingbird. When Jake pulled me close, as if to protect me, I rested my cheek against his strong chest, listening to his racing heart. I was just about to bolt over to Anto's tent, certain that he'd be armed and would know what to do, but when I turned to run, Jake's hand tightened around my arm, pulling me closer. I raised my eyebrows, and Jake loosened his death grip. I took a few brave steps, scanning straight ahead.

"It's just a giraffe," he explained, pointing off to the right.

My golden beam slid upward, illuminating the tall tree, and then landed on a towering creature. The long-necked animal was happily munching on acacia leaves, sending a few monkeys scurrying away in frustration.

Jake burst out in a wave of laughter. "Guess we found our killer."

"A giraffe?" I let out a sigh of relief. "You must think I'm crazy."

"I have to admit, my heart was pounding, too."

A muscular black tongue licked the top of the leaves, leaving a layer of sticky slime, and the animal stared at us with its dark-brown eyes as it pulled down a branch and made a quick snack of it, like some kind of modern-day brontosaurus. It plucked the leaves with its wide lips, stripping the tree with its teeth. Then loud, thudding footsteps echoed as the giant, long-legged creature lumbered away.

I clutched my chest. "I can't believe I almost had a heart attack over a giraffe."

We both burst out in laughter, and I loved the way he laughed and the way the lines around his face crinkled up around his eyes.

"I'm going back to sleep," I said, heading back inside the tent.

"If you need me to fend off any other ferocious beasts, just let me know. I'm your man."

"You're not gonna let me live this one down, are you?"

He laughed once again. "Not a chance."

We snuggled once again back into our warm sleeping bags. I dozed back to sleep and was having a wonderful dream when something suddenly woke me up. I glanced down at my watch. It was way too early for this. I heard a distinctively loud, penetrating and recognizable haa-haa-haa-de-dah call.

"What's that?" I said, sitting straight up at four a.m.

"It's a bird. Yeah, it woke me up too."

"Why isn't it sleeping?"

"The Hadeda Ibis get up early," he chuckled.

I chuckled back. "Tell me about it." I put the pillow over my head and drifted back to sleep.

Chapter 12

Morning came faster than I anticipated. After getting dressed and brushing my hair, I opened the tent and was blown away by the sight before me. Swirls of mist danced across the grasslands in the most mysterious way. Silhouetted against the pink sunrise was an outline of grazing antelopes and wildebeests, munching on dew-laden grass. I scoured the land for lions and was thankful I didn't see any.

"Now that's the way to start the morning," Jake said, smiling.

"It's really something," I said.

Our faithful tour guide handed me a cup of instant coffee.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"Zylando and his team are coming with elephants in an hour," Anto said.

"Great! I've wanted to ride an elephant forever."

Jake and I rode together on one elephant. The animal started to move and quickly gained speed, lumbering along with its big legs, staggering from side to side with each giant step. I was glad Jake was sitting in front of me so I had something to wrap my arms around and hold on to.

The sun peeked out while clouds wisped across a blue sky. A cool breeze, carrying the chirps and calls of birds, stirred the leaves. I could not even think of words to describe how awesome the adventure was as we swayed along at what felt like a leisurely pace.

The smell of damp wood, earth, and fish wafted past. Somewhere to my right, the sound of trickling water echoed in my ears. I craned my neck around and caught a glimpse of the river sparkling in the bright light. Along the water's edge were giant nests of dead grass, hanging from gnarled tree limbs. The shrill sound of squawking birds filled the air all around us, and the elephant started to stomp into the muddy water.

"It's okay," our tour guide said. "We're crossing the river to get to the other side. She's very familiar with carrying passengers across. You shouldn't have any problems."

Drops of water splashed on my face, arms, and legs. I wiped the moisture across my burning skin, enjoying the cooling sensation.

Weee-ah, hyo-hyo, heee-ah, heeah-heeah.

I gazed up at the large raptor making the loud, evocative, and haunting cry. It was perched on branches overlooking the water. The majestic bird had a brown body with large, powerful, black wings. The head, breast, and tail were snow white. I snapped a few glorious shots with my camera.

"That's an African Fish-Eagle. It's the spirit or essence of Africa. Its distinctive call has earned it the name 'the voice of Africa'."

I smiled as the magnificent bird swooped down to catch a fish.

Suddenly, the elephant stopped.

I laughed. "I think she's taking a break."

Slurping filled the air, as the elephant sucked up water through her trunk like a straw. She lifted her long gray protrusion high in the air, and a huge plume of spray shot skyward, only to stream down on us like rain.

I couldn't help but giggle. "I know she's hot, but has she forgotten we're up here, too?" I blinked and wiped my soaking-wet hair out of my eyes.

We all laughed.

Jake's wet hair hung just over his collar, and I admired his hairstyle all over again. It was longer than it was when we had dated, but I loved it. It made him look so sexy that I was half-tempted to run my hand through those gorgeous locks.

The elephant took a few more steps and slowly submerged below the surface of the water. From the shore, the river had seemed wide and shallow, and now I wondered how deep the river was, since the elephant seemed to barely reach the bottom. A log swept past and grazed my legs. When I glanced down, I saw more logs, as well as debris and branches, floating past us. Water seeped into my socks and tennis shoes. First my knees sank in, then my stomach. A shiver ran down my spine. With a splash, the elephant's entire head plopped just a few inches under the surface of the water. I was sure we were sinking like a big, giant rock, and I clung to the saddle as water swirled past my hips.

"No worries. Elephants are excellent swimmers," Anto said. "We'll be across the river in no time."

In India, I'd seen elephants swim in deep water with trainers on their backs, so I wasn't too nervous about it, but my soaked clothes clung to my body, dragging me down. I shivered as the cold water bit into my skin, and I clasped my arms around Jake to hold him close, resting my chin on his shoulder; he was emanating heat like an oven. I noticed hundreds of bubbles rising to the surface, and a second later, the elephant's trunk popped up. Using it as a snorkel, she swam, dog-paddling underwater, submerged like a big, gray submarine, raising her trunk up like a periscope.

A sudden flash of light caught my eye. I squeezed my eyes against the blinding sun, trying to get a better look, because something seemed odd about the long, bumpy piece of driftwood that was coming our way. Not only was it covered in scales, but it also opened big, yellow eyes, and I found myself staring intently at golden irises around slit pupils. The cold eyes just stared right back at me.

My mouth gaped open, and the breath caught in my throat. "That's definitely not a log," I whispered nervously in Jake's ear. It looked like a cold-blooded creature I'd once seen in Florida, with long, tapering jaws and yellow reptilian eyes peeking out of the river. Two teeth jutted out of the reptile's bottom jaw. "It's an alligator! Right there, blending in with all those logs." With shaking, fingers I gripped the saddle so hard my knuckles turned white.

"That's no alligator. That's a croc," Anto said calmly.

As far as I was concerned, the specifics didn't matter. Either species would happily make a meal out of us, and flashbacks of all the movies and nature shows I'd seen about death rolls and giant reptilians terrorizing people bombarded my mind. I peered at the water and gulped. The marine predator emerged, exposing its entire armored body. I wondered how many buffalos, zebras, hippos, and even humans it had been snacking on, because it was huge. The rigid, brown, horn-like scales on its back and along its tail glistened under the sun.

I wiped the sweat off my brow, and my heart began to pound fiercely. "Let's swim to shore!"

"No, that would not be wise," Anto advised from his place atop the other elephant. "It's only curious right now. If you swim off in a hurry, you'll be inviting it to have a taste. It'd snap you in two before you could even set one foot on land. Just stay calm. We'll be out of the water any minute, and a croc can't outrun one of these big beauties." He patted his elephant's side, trying to downplay the situation so I wouldn't do anything stupid, like make a mad dash to shore.

He had a point. There was no need to panic, at least not yet. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart. The croc swam a little further away, then stopped, as if to watch us from a distance, but I still didn't feel much safer knowing that we were sharing the river with that thing and probably several of its terrifying and hungry relatives.

Jake pointed, his voice calm, as if he was trying to put my mind at ease. "We can't let our guard down, but look! It's over there, minding its own business."

"Or it's stalking us!" I retorted.

Of course Jake was smart enough to know that; he just didn't want to freak me out.

"Doesn't matter. We'll be out of the water any minute," he said.

A splash and a blur of brown caught my attention. Ripples shot across the slow current as the croc slithered through in the water, slowly swimming past us until it was only about fifteen feet away. My stomach clenched when the creature's long snout and eyes barely broke the surface of the river. It was so close to us that I could see the thin membrane slide over its eyes as it blinked. When the thing slowly disappeared into the river again, it was beyond creepy.

A few moments later, Jake pointed at more huge ripples in the river, and I gulped as the croc's body slightly rose out of the water. "It's getting closer!"

Finally, the ground began to level out, and I felt a glimmer of hope. With each step the elephant took, we rose higher out of the treacherous water. I scanned the surface as the water receded to my waist, then my knees, and finally my ankles. Relief swept through me. I'd come face to face with a croc and lived to tell about it.

I scanned the water one last time. "It's gone."

We all seemed calmer as we moved closer to the riverbank, assuming that if the croc had really wanted to make a meal out of us, he'd already be picking what was left of us out of his nasty old teeth.

As my elephant walked, the water behind her began to churn. A crashing splash erupted, and streams of water rose into the air and slapped against us. The croc leapt out, snapping its bone-crushing jaws together and missing Anto's elephant by mere inches.

Too frightened to even scream, I held on tightly as the elephant reared up. Digging my feet into the animal's sides, my hair swayed around me, whipping into my face, while I clung to the saddle like a cowboy atop a wild bull in a rodeo. My hands slipped around Jake again, and I held on to him tightly as the creature bucked again. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, and we were all catapulted into the air, finally landing with a giant splash.

Groaning, I scrambled up, spitting out dirty water as my heartbeat spiked. I was in the river up to my waist—the same river where the crocodile was swimming around. The elephant continued to buck like a spooked horse, and I moved back, knowing that getting turned into a pancake by an elephant wasn't going to help me one bit.

I looked for our guide. When I saw him, I hurried over and found him dazed but alive, and I started pulling him toward the shore. "C'mon, Anto!" I said. I glanced over my shoulder. I pushed my wet hair out of my eyes and blinked as I wiped the water from my lashes. "Get to the riverbank, Jake!" I yelled. I knew if we could just get out of the water, it would increase our odds of survival; in the water, the croc had home-field advantage. I craned my neck to peer behind me, just in time to see the croc gliding in the water next to my elephant, its eyes open wide and fixing on me, its cruel jaws snapping in my direction. I gasped and yelled, "RUN!"

"It's coming! We can't all make it to shore in time!" Jake yelled. "Get outta here. I'll hold it off."

I yanked his arm. "No, Jake! Get your butt on land!"

"Just get him out of the water!" he yelled, pointing at the barely conscious Anto.

"I'm not going without you!" I demanded. "Now come on!"

"Get to safety!" Jake glanced over his shoulder, and his lips pressed into grim lines. "I promise I'll be right behind you. Now go!"

"No! I'm not leaving you." As much as I despised what Jake had done for me, I couldn't just let him get eaten alive. He had always been there for me—well, except when he'd deserted me at the altar—and I couldn't just abandon him to die in an African river.

The croc lunged at Jake, snapping its hungry jaws. It's dinosaur-like powerful tail whipped around in the air, sending thousands of droplets spraying everywhere. For a second, all I could do was hold my breath and watch in horror. Jake grunted and lurched backward. Sure, he resembled Superman with that dark hair and blue eyes of his, but there was no way he could take on thousands of pounds of pure muscle and bad attitude.

"Jake, get outta there!" I desperately yelled.

He took a step back, but in the process, he accidentally lodged his foot on something. I couldn't see whether it was a rock or a fallen tree in the river bottom. I only hoped another animal hadn't grabbed his foot under the water. Whatever it was, it caused him to lose his footing and fall backward with a splash. As if the dinner bell had been rung, the croc powered toward him with its mouth slightly open, practically smiling, ready to move in to kill its prey.

Think fast, I told myself. What can I do? Hit it with a branch? Right. It'll probably feel like a feather on that thing's thick skin. Maybe I can hit it with a rock. Nope. That'll feel like nothing more than a pesky fly. And then I saw it. Mud! Maybe I can blind it somehow!

Before I could change my mind, I grabbed a giant handful of muddy sand and flicked it at the croc's eyes. My heart pounded as I watched the creature's reaction. Water splashed everywhere as it threw a tantrum, blinking its yellow eyes over and over again. The croc went for Jake's throat and missed only by inches as he twisted to the left like lightning. Then, rearing up, the elephant smashed its feet like a hammer right down on the croc's head.

The reptile lay motionless, seeming disoriented from the heavy blow. I flinched as the armored beast suddenly moved, gliding slowly toward the deeper part of the river. It slipped silently into the glittering water and sank like a submarine. Bubbles rose to the surface, and then all was still.

I clutched my chest while I caught my breath. Tears welled, threatening to spill down my cheeks. Jake was safe, and I was glad for that. Still holding my breath, I quickly scoped out the area. I waited a moment before I dared to start breathing again. Then I grabbed Jake's and Anto's hands and pulled them eagerly to shore. I sloshed through the water, mud, and sand until my feet reached dry land, and a wave of relief swept through me. Water dripped from my hair and poured from my clothes.

I glanced over at Jake. There was no way I was going to let him off scot-free after he'd tried to play action hero. Hugging and punching him at the same time, I cried, "What were you thinking?"

He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees as he breathed heavily in and out. "I only planned on stalling it for a second to give you two a head start. Trust me, I woulda been right behind you, but if worse came to worst, I had a trick up my sleeve."

"Don't tell me you're carrying around some croc repellant in that bag of yours," I snapped.

"No, but there's a pouch in the croc's throat that keeps it from drowning. I knew if I stuck my arm down there and punched it, the thing would have no other choice but to let go or drown."

"Yeah, if its teeth didn't tear you to shreds first." I touched his face. Tears were sliding down my cheeks, but I almost hoped he'd just think it was river water. "Thanks for saving my life, but please, no more stunts like that."

He wiped one of my tears away and gazed into my eyes. "When it comes to protecting you, Ashly, there's no length I won't go to."

His words truly touched my heart. From the tone in his voice, I believed every word. I rested my head against his strong chest, and he softly stroked my hair. "Thanks, Jake. I feel the same way. I'm sorry I got so upset, but the thought of losing you to that thing....well, I was scared to death."

He held me close. Jake had risked his life to save mine, the kind of thing that only happened in books and mushy movies. Or maybe in dreams too, I thought with a smile and a sniffle.

After our croc escapade, our camping trip was over, and we headed back to the Royal Malewane. The staff was so friendly and greeted us with glasses of champagne and cool towels.

* * *

The next day, I woke up early and smiled when I saw that I'd caught another beautiful sunrise. I wrapped a robe around me and walked out onto the deck to take in the pink and orange swirls that had painted the African horizon.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" Jake said from behind me.

I spun to face him "Yes, just breathtaking."

He grinned.

"Thank you for all of your bravery back there with that croc," I said.

"That's what I'm here for."

"You're very brave. I just want you to know that."

"I've been thinking," he said.

"Aw. Does it hurt?" I said, laughing.

"Very funny," he said, smiling back at me. "Anyway, I know things aren't the best between us, but I'm more than willing to work on our friendship. We can start out as friends and see what happens."

I bit my lip hard as I pondered. "That's great, Jake, but you need to know that it won't make up for the past."

"I made mistakes, and I'm sorry, but you said yourself that we need to leave the past in the past. Is there any way we can both forget about that and concentrate on what's right here in front of us? I think we could have something really good."

I shook my head. "You can't just come back and suddenly jump in where you left off."

"I really think we still have something very special," he said.

I stared into his eyes, then purposely drifted my gaze to the sunrise. "We'll always be...friends."

"Maybe I want more."

"Jake, I—"

"Only you can decide if I'm worthy of a second chance. Just because things went horribly wrong the first time around doesn't mean we should never try again. Let's start out slow, as friends, and see what happens. It can't hurt to try."

"You're an ex for a reason, Jake. I won't deny that part of me wants to jump into those familiar arms. I mean, maybe the timing was off between us. We were both so young and naïve. Then again, I see no reason why I should get back together with an old flame who shattered my heart and humiliated me the way you did."

"I thought you were a huge believer in giving people second chances."

"Excluding my love life, yes."

"You might be throwing away a good thing here, Ashly. Won't you always wonder what could have happened if you just—"

I cut him off and turned to leave. "I'm gonna have breakfast on the patio by the watering hole. I'm anxious to see what animals are out."

He paused. "I remember that about you too."

"What? That I like to eat breakfast?"

"No. I remember that you always dodge uncomfortable questions by changing the subject."

"See ya later, Jake," I said.

* * *

Almost all day, I relaxed on the deck, haunted by Jake's words. Am I throwing away a good thing? Would I regret it later? I set my apple down and went back inside to get my bottled water, but when I returned, the apple was gone, as if it had vanished into thin air. I glanced around and quickly spotted the culprit, a monkey who was noisily chomping away on his bright red prize. I laughed, then watched my new entertainment, a tree full of monkeys and baboons who seemed just as curious about me as I was about them.

Still fascinated by the wildlife, even after our near-croc experience, Jake had gone to look for elephants and lions with our tracker, so I decided to take a dip. I sat in the little private pool on the deck that overlooked the bush. As I sipped on my bottled water, I thought a lot about Jake. I couldn't get him out of my head. I was still so attracted to him, even more so after he'd risked his life to try and save me from the croc. I also thought about our dreadful wedding day. Jake was supposed to be more than my hero; he was supposed to be my husband, but he wasn't. My mind raced through a tumult of emotions. I was still mad at him, and that was what had kept us from moving forward as friends. I just wasn't sure if I was ready to give up that anger, an emotion I had every right to feel after the despicable thing he'd done to me.

To Be Continued...

My Despicable Ex – Book 2 is available now!

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Love,

Sierra

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Biography Below

Sierra Rose is a stay at home mom and writer. With the support from her husband, friends, and family, she finally decided to write her first romance novel, My Despicable Ex, followed by the second book in the series. She hopes to write more romance books in the future.

Sierra is a dreamer, a hopeless romantic, and believes fairy tales can come true. She enjoys spending time with her husband of ten years and her wonderful children, ages 9 - 12. She has two cats and one dog. Sierra enjoys going to book clubs, camping, hiking, reading, jogging, and swimming.

