"In 1976 Stevens nearly drowned off the coast of Malibu, California, United States, and said he shouted: "Oh, God! If you save me I will work for you." He related that right afterward a wave appeared and carried him back to shore. This brush with death intensified his long-held quest for spiritual truth. He had looked into "Buddhism, Zen, I Ching, numerology, tarot cards, and astrology".[30] Stevens' brother David Gordon brought him a copy of the Qur'an as a birthday gift from a trip to Jerusalem.[21] Stevens took to it right away, and began his transition to Islam."

What a dumb question. I'll treat you as if your a small child who is inquisitive and answer your question.ALL people care about what others think of them it's natural and there isn't anything wrong with it. My theory of mind is very poor and it's hard for me to know how others perceive me or what their going through. I'm not intentionally cruel I just lack the components of human warmth. At the same time im the most moral person I know

"My theory of mind is very poor and it's hard for me to know how others perceive me or what their going through. I'm not intentionally cruel I just lack the components of human warmth. At the same time im the most moral person I know"

Yeah, yeah I know I was pompous. OK? LOL But I had to be fair. Having ethics is *so* annoying.

Hello.... Masks? Socio are all reputation. This makes me think of Nietzsche and what I really think he meant of a superman. A real superman doesn't hide behind masks ever. He doesn't play morality games which are condescending and manipulative. He asks for what he wants unashamed.

Just be a good person. Be a MAN. You don't get a prize but it's the greatest feeling to know your intent is noble. Speak the truth even if it will be unpopular. Tell all the shitty people and tyrants in your life exactly what you think of them. Don't tolerate their BS. Help the lonely and needy ones providing they aren't insane. That's the way of a manly man

I originally intended to write this comment for your "just a dick" post M.E. as a self reflection piece about my personality disorder, but I'd rather post it here instead to hear the thoughts of others.

XK's recent thoughts on upbringing/genetics effecting development of personality makes me think that may be the definite case for me actually, besides other factors that I've addressed before. As an adult looking back at my childhood and who my family members really are and what they did that may of effected my mental development, I guess could say none of it is any kind of normal. My brother turned out to be a serial killer of domesticated animals, violent towards others, a child molester and rapist. We were raised in a home by a single mother who admitted to us (or from what I remember, at least to me she said I'd never be more than "a tool, an object" to her) that she didn't really care about her children. My mother left me to be taken care of my older brother, who was an interesting influence to me in my own personal mental growth as a child. Empathy was not something I naturally had as a child even for animals (Oddly enough I believe I've had some significant change in that as I've aged actually. If I remember right M.E. you wrote a post about that animal empathy topic), so being witness to my brother's cruelty to animals naturally didn't truly phase me. A flattened kitten he left in my toy box (I remember spying upon him and watching as he'd grab of our house cat's kittens, place it under the couch cushion, and sit on it. He'd leave thr flattened corpses around the house in various places, like my toy box or under my bed), or the pet snake he stole from the next door neighbor's and ran over with the lawnmower (I remember him asking me to look at his handiwork; I have a clear memory of sitting on the grass to gaze upon the remains of the animal. I always thought of these times as rare art exhibits).

I've always assumed my mother to be a narcissist, but she arguably had psychopathic qualities herself. Pathological lying, superficial charm, clever games of deception and conniing of others to get what she wanted and needed. She'd say to me this was a normal childhood, that her parenting was better then none at all, that she wanted to be the right role model for me and my brother. Interestingly enough the end result of her parenting was a lot different then what she originally intended, and it's not that all surprising really. Looking at myself, socially adept, pathological liar, empathetically challenged, power and resource hungry... what went wrong? I'm more or less fine with my personality cemented as it is, as I seem to function well enough or have at least invested in enough ability to have some higher functioning as to not let antisociality completely control me. There may be room for change, and I'm sure there is, but if it is to be the same as always then I'm still quite fine with that, it's simply a matter of playing the game of life right. I remember someone else here saying life seems to be much like a video game to me and I suppose it kind of is, just like how love to me is just a game of cat and mouse, but the chase matters much more to me then the actual capture. The journey matters more then the destination.

"just like how love to me is just a game of cat and mouse, but the chase matters much more to me then the actual capture. The journey matters more then the destination."

This makes sense if your upbringing was as you've described. I can't imagine having a mother who was anything but unconditionally loving.

It's interesting because normally it's the destination that matters and all else is only bearable because the end is worthwhile.

I've inherited a minor tendency to be unduly cynical and indifferent at times. It's been a challenge overcoming it but I know it's for the best - coming out of sociopathy (that wasnt self-inflicted) doesn't make you a "normal" person it makes you a great person. You gain an understanding of, and an appreciation for, life that is extremely rare in the modern world.

A little struggle and you'll be better off than most people, forever. The alternative is to let your bad start end up ruining you.

Was wondering where you had gone to. Either you are a completely different ESTP 8-) or extremely straight, healthy and totally focused as never before? Did you have to go back to hospital for a bit because you messed your lungs up again? Frankly it's a miracle you weren't utterly screwed with that upbringing. But far from it. How the heck did you get so aware and sensible before reaching the age of 70??? 8-)[It wasn't my thoughts re genetics/unique environment/epigenetics BTW. Just current science research I mentioned.]

I second what XK said. I've lived thru several years of misery but I would not trade those for a different mother, certainly not a narcissistic or psychopathic one. I have a close relative who's mother is a complete psychopath - it's sad what she's done to her children, very sad. Still, God makes good come out of everything.

I see a disturbing trend among the youth where a large number glorify serial killers, extremists and the worst parts of human nature. The erosion of classic patriarchal values of discipline and honor are the cause of this in my view. If you stray away from manly virtues you end up with someone like Jonaid or the columbine weirdos. Spank your kids parents, every spank you give will stop a future little jonaid.

Courage or carelessness?What kind of social creature are you?You say you are the wolf that deceives the flock of sheep to make them believe you are one of them.The wolf does not care what sheep think of him.We do not care what cows think of us as we eat our burger.But, we are socially connected as humans.Why should a person with a severe antisocial personality disorder care about what others think of him/her, other than for the means of achieving power? In extreme cases, the social connection is not there, you are just the means of getting what he/she wants. Nothing more.

But now you are saying that these cold hearted scavengers care, and need courage to walk alone?

Yes, my husband presents (as XK would say), many sociopathic traits. He has never been evaluated, so I say "I believe" or "I think", he is a sociopath. He admits, that both he and his mother, display these traits. He has also had 2 major head traumas, like ESTP, in his life...

My husband displays intellectual, but not affective, empathy. I am not aware, of ever seeing him tear up or cry.

I appreciate you sharing, what you shared.:) I am also glad, that your husband has recovered, from alcohol and cocaine.:)

YOU AND I ARE ENERGETIC!!! POW!!! POW!!!

I agree, that our husbands are attracted to our energy.:)

There are definitely pros and cons, and it does take a long time, to learn to navigate!!!

" Women haters (unconsciously) get off on treating women badly. Every time they can put down a woman or hurt her feelings, they unconsciously feel good because deep down in their hidden brain, their bad behavior is rewarded with a dose of the pleasure chemical dopamine—which makes them want to repeat the behaviour again and again."

I don't hate women I dislike them and people in general. I'm not waiting for a special someone like some lonely autist. I found the special one and it is I. I'm the only one I need. I can't get enough of me. The more I'm around people my depression worsens. I can't fathom people's poor tastes and lack of manners. If I could I'd become a shut in and just play ps4 or wow the rest of my life and have someone slide a new game under my door once a week.

I'm a very laid back benign person but people constantly try to mess around with me. I had a teacher get real angry at me because I'm 'too laid back' as he said but now I know he was envious of my inner calm and how I could just BE. Ambition is a bad habit he couldn't break. Like a smoker envious of clean lungs his ambition envied my easy going nature.

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Of course, my default is still to intuitively analyze every outcome and situation and achieve the best result, but it's more interesting to let people remain a variable and go in their own direction, rather than nudging them in the direction I prefer. Interacting with people WITHOUT trying to control them is a new paradigm for me.