When I was nine years old my daddy's car was hit by a drunk driver and I was ejected on impact. I skid 20 feet and both my ear drums exploded, I was and am completely deaf and will stay that way the rest of my life. But I'm ready to forgive, he probably is still guilty because of it and I want him to know its alright.

Your Response

First, I hope he paid dearly for it in a civil lawsuit...<br /><br />Secondly, my therapist and I have gotten into something similar. The only reason you should do this is if this is actually something that creates an emotional burden for you. My therapist describes lack of confrontation with a person who has cause you pain as creating an emotional filter within the person who carries that baggage with them and it may limit the level of trust you have for others and shape the relationships you chose. In order to live free from that filter, you need to be totally over the issue -and sometimes that take confrontation. <br /><br />I know you view this as something you should do for him, but you really don't owe him anything. Look inside yourself and ask yourself if this is really something you need to do for you. You might forgive him, but is there anything that still lives inside of you in reaction to the situation?

Your Response

Yes, that is a criminal lawsuit which is different. You have to bring a civil lawsuit for personal injury to get anything substantial. If it has not been six years yet, you may be able to still sue if he lives in or the injury occurred in Maine or North Dakota. Tell your parents you want to talk to a personal injury lawyer if that is the case...

Your Response

Forgiveness is for the forgiver first and foremost but if you feel you must let him know then sure . <br />Ask your parents first and if they don't agree then wait untl you're 18 to seek him out .<br />What a mature young thing you are .