Berkeley squirrels live off of two things in this world: student crumbs and attention. What could they possibly do without our presence? Over spring break, UC Berkeley students were chilling on the beach, so what were these poor animals doing? Here are some conspiracy theories we at the Clog have about what these curious creatures were doing last week.

Touring nut farms upstate

Rumor has it that squirrels went up to the redwoods to find new types of nuts. Refusing to thin down for the warmer weather, these Cal critters were determined to seek treats. This exclusive group of Berkeley squirrels are of the “foodie” type and are commonly found near Pat Brown’s.

Suntanning on Sproul Plaza

We’re not the only species that wants the glow of a goddess, and some say squirrels enjoy baking in the sun as well. Maybe while we were lounging on the beach, they were doing some bathing in Sproul Plaza as well. Did anyone else notice that their fur was looking a little more bronzed recently?

Backpacking in Muir Woods

Some of the outdoorsy squirrels (you know, the ones that hang out near the Music Library?) decided to go to Muir Woods for a fun week of hiking and s’mores making. Rumor has it that they also hitched a ride on the back of a few ride-sharing vehicles and had a great break out in nature.

Going on a beach trip

Others think the squirrels also hit up the shore and migrated to Baker Beach in San Francisco for break. Plus, they fit right in with the nude section (given squirrels don’t wear clothes). They were soaking up the sun and sipping on peanut butter smoothies. What other way would surfer squirrels enjoy their break?

Soaking in the cinema of squirrels

Some squirrels decided to stay in Berkeley and explore the movie scene Downtown. Some watched films such as Beauty and the Squirrel, Hidden Squirrels and The Lego Squirrel Movie.

Regardless, humans weren’t the only Berkeley inhabitants having a fun break!

Contact Allison David at [email protected].