TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE
And welcome back to Surgeon Simulator VR !
Sorry it's been a while,
I meant to do consecutive videos on this, but
SuperHot VR came out for the Oculus Rift *phone rings*
SHUT. THE FUCK UP. (Jesus Christ Jack)
Shut up, get away!
Go away!
Sons of bitches! Right.
It's off the hook, it's fine, it's off the fucking chain, yes!
Hello?
Hello bullshit?
No, okay!
So I wanted to play more of this but SuperHot VR came out
for the Oculus Rift, so now I'm back in the Vive,
playing this and its weird.
It's weird being back
It's- oh do I have markers?
It's weird being back in the Rift
After doing so much- or the Vive!- after doing so much of the Rift stuff.
Hmm, he-hello?
I wanna draw on the board!
Give me a marker or something.
Right, okay!
So this is how I actually choose operations.
I was like waiting for like a left or right thing to show the different operations here but
I can just do this!
Can't I?
He-hello?
OH I clicked this one! Kidney!
I can't go onto brain, okay!
Kidney transplant
SURE I KNOW IT LIKE THE BACK OF ME ARSE!
I know where the kidneys go!
In the brain.
That's where all kidneys go, in every animal.
Especially humans.
Right, okay.
We're gonna have to document this.
Hey guys !
So, woke up today at like 7:00 AM
and I just lay in bed until 9:00.
Can you even believe it ?!
But it's good, it's good to be up early!
Cause I'm so happy all the time!
This is my everyday life!
Yes, here we go!
Nice, okay beepbeedeebeebeep yes oh !
Look at this fiiine surgery happening.
Can we get a little selfie action going ?
Ha, Hashtag dead !
Ha, stay woke Bob !
Okay, LET'S FUCKING DO THIS !
ARE YOU READY ?
*Slap noises* OH, I hope you're ready *Slap noises*
Right, What are we doing first?
I have my fuckin laser for this one
*Human Made sound effects* LUKE I AM YOUR DADDY!
That's what Darth Vader wanted to say but George Lucas was like
Uhm, Don't know if you should actually say that
Uuuuhm
RIGHT!
KIDNEYS!
What do kidneys look like?
They look like your mask actually.
Uhhhh
What are we using first? A little SCALPAY!
'Cause I don't think I need to take out you're bones for this.
I just need to figure out where everything cuts.
*Singing* Everybody cuts sometimes-
Bob?
Are you already not working with me?
Is there anything I can just grab and pull out?
Ok. THAT cuts there!
It should cut somewhere else as well
I have heard about this!
Does it cut in here? THERE WE GO!
FANTASTARINOS!
NICE, BOB!
You're looking well!
How's the family?
Don't care
There's the kidneys all the way up there, the little fuckers.
Ok, let's cut out this.
I dunno why it's not cuttin', Bob.
There's something wrong with - AH! THERE WE GO!
There's something wrong with your One Of These.
Thing.
YEAH! There we go! IT'S OUT!
THERE WE GO!
You know what, Bob?
Is- I'm only a part time doctor!
You know what my real gig is?
It's BALLOON ANIMALS! You want me to make you one? LOOK!
IT'S A SNAKE!
It's a- It's a Rattlesnake apparently.
What the fuck? Get outta here!
RIGHT!
Are you ok on blood?
Oh, you're losing a bit.
Where's my fucking needles? Here we go!
Bob, you're losing a bit of blood, are ya?
Boink!
AH SURE JESUS THAT STOPPED IT NO PROBLEM AT ALL AT ALL!
GREAT!
GOOD LUCK TO YA!
How're we taking out these kidneys?
I need to use...
PRECISION TOOLS!
*Singing* Da Da Da Daaaa! Da Da Da Da Da Da!
BOB?
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
I think he's dead!
NURSE!
Ok, where do I cut these!?
Hello?
Can I- Can I take this shit out?
YOU DON'T NEED THESE!
They're all in the way!
These are a fine delicacy out in- uh-
SOMEWHERE!
Yes! Nice!
Can I cut this out?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN ATTACHED TO ANYTHING!
WHY ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?
GET OUT!
GET OUT!
One kidney
There we GO!
A little bean!
THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RED!
Ya, fucker
What've you been drinking?
Aaaaaaan, Eh! Eh! There we go!
YES!
AHHYAY!
POOT!
NICE!
Fucking kidneys.
NO ONE NEEDS KIDNEYS!
Do you ever realize why people are like "Oh! They stole my kidneys!"
Yeah, it's 'cause YOU DON'T NEED THEM!
There, fucking, a prick for the prick!
Right, how do I- how am I opening this?
I'm a DOCTOR! Not a fucking Open Boxologist!
Aannnd?
Looks fine to me! I'm sure he'll live.
Final blood level
DUDE!
THAT IS A FUCKING GREAT ONE!
WHAT'S MY SCORE?
Get the FUCKING BALLOONS OUT OF HERE!
THIS IS AN ER, NOT A CIRCUS!
Look at that, my friends!
That is an A!
RIGHT THERE!
The only A I'll probably ever get in my life!
An A, for AWESOME!
Also, an A for AH SH**E!
Right! BAARAIN TRANSPLANT!
This is my wheel house!
This is what i'm KNOWN for!
Everyone's like "What's the surgery Jack's best at?"
I- uh- I mean, DR. JACK, to you!
I'm best at brain surgeries!
Can't you tell I have good brain in hole?
LET'S start this operation!
I am fucking ready to boogie and it-
THIS IS THE EASY ONE!
This is the one that everyone speed-runs
But I'm just gonna take my f- *electrical sound*
*Electrical sound*
*Electrical sound*
*Electrical sound*
ExcUSE me?
OH!
Trying to put me in the dark, are we?
Oohhhhh!
Clever.
Very clever.
BOOB!
IT'S NOT BOB, IT'S AN IMPOSTER!
HELLO!?
Can we-?
NURSE!
Can we get-?
Ok, this is like a fucking horror game now all of a sudden.
RIGHT!
OK!
You think that that's gonna stop me.
You think that that's gonna stop Jack.
Not at all!
Let's increase....
Your drugs here!
Oh, yesss! Novocain, baby!
Ok!
Cuuuut da brain!
Cuuuut da SKULL HOLE!
WHY ISN'T YOUR-
THERE WE GO!
Oh!
Ummm.
Well,
Bob,
It seems like you're not gonna be with us for too much longer.
I mean, it's a real shame, honestly.
I- *drug induced sounds*
*more strange drug sounds*
Can I-? Guuuuuh! I-
There we go, fucking hell.
I got drugs for days in my system.
Pick up.
The-
PICK IT UP!
Boink.
THERE WE GO, YOU LOST A LOT OF BLOOD,
but it's enough!
You don't need it ALL!
If you had all- THERE we fucking GO!
TAKE THAT BAD BITCH OUT!
You know what this- you know what brains are only good for?
Looking like walnuts!
Again! You don't even need them!
Do you ever notice how people say, "Oh, god, I'm so hungry."
Is that your brain saying that? No, it's your stomach!
That's what keeps you alive, not your fucking brain.
Don't know who I'm talkin ta.
I feel like-
*chuckle*
I'm remembering my time in med school.
Here we go. Easy.
Easy does it.
Easy-
He-
Um.
'Scuse me.
QUESTION!
NURSE!
There seems to be a problem with my dummy here.
He seems to have died.
That is NOT possible, with Dr.
Jackaroly, in-
in- in-
Uh..
work.
OK!
Well, it seems like we got a defective patient.
Ha!
Hardly my fault.
I mean, I was just trying the best that I possibly could.
Eh you g- You all saw- Oh
*Electrical sounds*
K, careful with the dark laser!
*Laser sounds*
DID THAT WORK?
Why do none of these FUCKING things WORK?
WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF YOU, EXCEPT- ng- CREATING A CRAZY DISCO SHOW?
unst unst unst unst unst unst
unst unst unst unst unst unst
OH! It's working!
A good skull is like a hard boiled egg.
You just gotta take time, and crack the top of it.
It's like- you know that scene in Jurassic Park where the velociraptor comes out of the- the egg!
YEAH! It's just like that!
Come on, little one.
Come on, then.
Come on, then.
That's it. I'M DOING IT!
I'M DOCTORING!
Break open all a' that-
DON'T BURN THE FUCKING BRAIN!
THE BRAIN IS PRECIOUS!
You don't need it, but it tastes delicious.
Clean ya up there a bit, Bob.
Niccccce.
Missed a few spots and now I dropped my laser so
THAT'S not good, but, you know what?
We can still do this.
ARE YOU DYING, BOB?
DON'T WORRY, HOMIE.
I GOTCHU!
I GOTCHU FAM!
Pick up the fucking needle.
Boink.
You know what? They say it works really well if you stab them in the eye.
THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S GOING WELL!
HUH?
Oh fuck, I'm on my own in here.
Ohhhkay!
Wait.
*Sound of a drill*
Dentistry is the same as surgery, right?
*Sound of a drill*
There we g- THIS FUCKING DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!
*Coughing*
*More coughing*
ALL I'M DOING WITH THAT IS BREATHING FUCKING BONE DUST!
*Singing* Tappy tap
*Still singing* Tappy tap tap tap
There we go- I TOLD you!
It's like a nice hard boiled egg!
You just gotta tippy tap,
Until,
Everyone's fixed.
AH! FUCK, I stabbed myself!
I'm gonna have to perform surgery on myself after this.
PICK UP THE FUCKING THING!
ARE YOUUUUU SERIOUS?!
Boink.
Theeere! A little acupuncture will help.
Ok.
Out comes the brainio.
I'm gonna need a- a better tool for this this time.
NOT A FUCKING SCISSORS!
You think i'm wrapping CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?!
Christmas is over!
There's no--   Where'd it GO!??
This one will do :3
Anything with a fuckin' sharp edge
How about my personality?
HUP! Huh?! Anybody?!?!
Up the-  is this thing on? okay...
There we go, there we go.
We have precious little time!
Precious Little Time!
I got the brain!!
Kolby! Okay.
I gotta take out this.
Now this brain!
I don't want the fuckin jar!
PERFECT!
PERFECT!
THAT'S A SURGERY RIGHT THERE everybody!
Come back brain. brain come back i want you.
A++
DID I GET SOMETHING GOOD?!
What-- Ohhh... Let me see...
What--What rank I got for that
I can tell it's gonna be amazing..
AHH! FUCKN' A++!
If ANY of you out there
Want your brain removed and replaced,
Look no further. Dr. Jack is in the building.
AWAAAAAAAAAA (scream with jack all of you)
Ugh. FUCK YOU!
Shit- Uhh... Deffffffffuckk (Telephone Press Sound) YOU! FUCK Everything!
I am the best doctor! I don't need to listen to you- ANYbODY ANYMORE!
I don't need anymore patients!
Cause- i am running out of it.
*Giggle*
K WELL THAT DOES IT FOR THIS EPISODE OF Surgery Sim VR (wrong name jack)
Did you all learn something here today?
Yeah! You learned the humans don't need brains, did you SEE
How long that brain was disconnected from that man's uhh... head
And ho-how fine he was. He was okay
he wasn't complaining I- I don't know what people are worried about.
Woah, your gonna take my brain
*Hilarious Retarded Zoom* doesn't even what its really called.
(HOLY SHIT THAT AIN'T HAR FLIP) BUT ANYWAY THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE IF YOU LIKED IT
PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE,
LIKE A BOSS!!!!!!!!
And, high fives all around, WAPOOSH, WAPOOSH
But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!
*Phone ringing*
Is that the fucking phone I hear?
*Phone again*
SHUT UP!
