Though Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month has come to a close with the end of February, discussion on the topic does not have to end. While teen dating violence receives attention nationally—after all, it has its own awareness month—we pay very little attention to what happens to the survivor of dating violence once the relationship ends. These relationships can end for a variety of reasons, like any other relationship, though when the survivor decides to end the relationship it often requires careful planning and prudence.
Following a break-up, particularly after an abusive relationship, it is incredibly important for teens to practice good self-care. Teenagers are more prone to depression than other age groups, and the period post-breakup is a time when people feel particularly down. Break the Cycle reminds us, “Breakups disrupt normal routine. In abusive relationships, those routines are still routines that partners become acclimated to [….] In some cases the abuser may be popular or well liked, which means dealing with questions from family, friends, or peers as to why it ended.” Abusive relationships can also cause depression, anxiety and low-self esteem, in which case the effects of the break-up could be particularly difficult.
Self-care is simply “taking care of the self.” This can include exercising, showering, and eating—basic parts of taking care of oneself. These tasks may seem impossible when you are bogged down in grief, but continuing normal daily routines is an important component self-care. Nurture yourself, while making sure you partake in healthy behaviors. It’s easy to fall into unhealthy patterns after a tough relationship and break-up, but taking time to heal and grieve is integral to truly moving on.
Part of self-care is also making sure you do activities that you enjoy, such as hanging out with friends, watching your favorite TV show, taking a hot shower, or going to a concert. Make sure to talk to the people who care about you. This can help you sort through what happened, and the wide range of emotions you might be feeling. Support groups are also a great resource for survivors, especially if you don’t want to speak with friends right away.
To those of you who know a teen who just got out of an abusive relationship, remember that you can help. Be a good listener, express your concern, and offer your support.
Check out Break theCycle for more information!
Yours in Advocacy,