Excerpt from the Dee Norton Lowcountry Children’s Center April newsletter
WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD? WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO HELP KEEP CHILDREN SAFE FROM ABUSE? WILL YOU BELIEVE?
You are at work and receive a call from your child’s after-school sitter informing you that your child came home from playing in the neighborhood, and disclosed that she had been sexually assaulted. What would you do?
Your two children want to go to summer camp. You do research before sending them to determine that they will be safe, and allow them to go. Upon returning home, your older child is withdrawn and sad. A few days after returning home, your younger child informs you that while they were at camp somebody tried to force his older brother to touch his “private parts” in front of other children. What would you do?
The most important factors in the healing for an abused child are to be believed and protected. Being believed is crucial to how a child heals from the trauma of abuse.
This is a great thought, and it makes us wonder — what would you do? Knowing how to respond to disclosures and suspicions of sexual abuse is as important as knowing how to prevent it. Anger and disbelief are very real and understandable responses to child sexual abuse. It is natural for adults to feel anger about the abuse and disbelief at the situation. Unfortunately, children don’t always know how to process this flow of emotion, and can interpret it as directed at them. If they think you are upset, they may even change their story or deny anything happened. For their sake, take a deep breath and react in a calm and supportive manner, even though calm may be the last thing you are feeling.
The important thing to do is act. Act on suspicions. Act on disclosures. Do not dismiss them, as uncomfortable as they may make you. It doesn’t matter if it’s your friend, your colleague, your sibling, or your religious leader — your first obligation is to the well being of the child. To quote Helen Keller, “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.” You may not be able to help every child, but you can make a difference to this one. So, the question is…
What would you do?