Another morning, another scene: Your child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) won’t brush his teeth, get dressed, or eat breakfast, and the school bus comes in 15 minutes. Your meeting starts in an hour, and
Another morning, another scene: Your child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) won’t brush his teeth, get dressed, or eat breakfast, and the school bus comes in 15 minutes. Your meeting starts in an hour, and you have a 30-minute commute.
It’s an understatement to say that, at times, life can be a challenge when you have a child with ADHD. On top of this, parents often blame themselves for their child’s impulsive, aggressive behaviors.
In the stress of the moment, it can be easy to overreact, but lashing out at your child or blaming yourself helps no one, says Billi Bittan, PhD, an ADHD coach and therapist in private practice in Tarzana, Calif. Parents need to take care of themselves first to be able to help a child with ADHD. “Like the flight attendant says: Put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then help your child,” Bittan advises.
7 Survival Tips to Help You Cope
Here’s how you can help yourself cope, even on the most difficult days:
- Learn as much as you can about ADHD. The more you know about ADHD, the better you can deal with your child’s behavior and help her to succeed in life. You will feel empowered if you know what to do in various situations, especially when your child acts out. Resources abound on the Internet and in bookstores. Write down your questions and take them to your child’s next doctor or counselor appointment.
- Don’t think you have to do it all alone. Seek professional help, especially if you are feeling depressed and frustrated or exhausted by your parenting responsibilities. Join a support group for parents of children with ADHD. Sharing ideas and listening to others facing similar issues can be very helpful and reassuring. If you don’t have a support group in your area, think about starting one or join one online.
- Stay calm. Remember that even when you are having difficulty controlling your child’s behavior, you can still control your own. Getting frustrated and angry when your child doesn't listen or is forgetful won’t help. It will likely only make matters worse. You are your child’s role model, Bittan says, so act the way you would like her to act.
- Schedule “me” time. You need to pay attention to your health, both physical and mental, to be better able to take care of your child. You can’t take care of your child if you’re sick, Bittan says. Take time each day to do a favorite activity, whether that’s reading a book, doing yoga, or talking on the phone. Eat right, exercise, and manage your stress.
- Focus on the positives. Make a list of all the things that are positive, valuable, and unique about your son or daughter. The more you believe that your child can learn and succeed, the more likely it will be to happen. Think about this list every morning when you wake up, and you will start your day with a s