Most parents have had this experience or a similar one. You’re walking the halls at your child’s school. Displayed on the walls or on cafeteria tables are class projects. There’s your child’s Egyptian pyramid (or space shuttle or Native American
Most parents have had this experience or a similar one. You’re walking the halls at your child’s school. Displayed on the walls or on cafeteria tables are class projects. There’s your child’s Egyptian pyramid (or space shuttle or Native American village) lop-sided, lumpy with half a bottle of dried glue and falling apart at the seams. He was so proud. Next to it is a project that not only wasn’t done by a third grader but—from the looks of it—Mom and Dad hired a contractor, an engineer and a graphic designer to put it together.
What are parents thinking when they do their child’s projects for them? What message are they sending to the child? What could an eight-year-old possibly learn from watching his parent mold a working volcano out of papier-mâché on the dining room table? And ultimately how and how much should a parent help their child with daily homework and special assignments?
The Homework Hassle
Kids today are busier than ever. Between ball practice, dance class, school clubs and any number of extracurricular activities it can be difficult to find time to do homework at all. But according to the National Education Association, homework is important. “Research indicates that children who spend more time on regularly assigned, meaningful homework, on average, do better in school.”
The NEA says teachers use homework to:
- help students understand and review the work that’s been covered in class
- see whether students understand a particular lesson
- help students learn how to independently find and use more information on a subject
Homework is also the link between school and home to keep parents abreast of what children are studying. So homework is here to stay. But what exactly is our role as parents in making sure our kids get the most from the homework they do?
Hero or Hindrance
The answer, according to the National PTA depends upon each child's grade level, learning style and study habits. Younger students need more homework help than older. Some kids will need to be “called back to task” more than others. The trick is to strike the perfect balance between guiding your child toward independence and elbowing your way in to take over his assignment.
They offer these suggestions for helping your child with his homework—without helping too much.
- Schedule a regular time for homework each day.
- Provide a quiet, well lit place to work where supplies are close at hand.
- Turn off TV and other distractions. No phone calls except to classmates to double check assignments.
- Familiarize yourself with what regular homework will be assigned, when weekly tests are scheduled, etc.
- Learn your child’s teacher’s policy and how much she expects you to help.
- Direct her toward appropriate resources but don’t do the research for her. (i.e. Drive her to the library or show her how to search the web then stay close by in case she needs guidance.)
- Occasionally you may need to clarify the teacher’s instructions but let your child take a stab at it himself before you jump in. It’s always best to let him ask for help first.
- Work on your own project nearby. Balance your check book, pay bills or fix dinner close to where he’s working so he gets the message that you’re there if he needs you but you have confidence he can do a good job himself.
- Don’t try to “reteach” what your child should have learned in school. If he’s not getting the message from the teacher, the teacher needs to know that.
- Find out what resources are available to your child (i.e. homework hotline, other classmates, even some public libraries offer homework help) and guide him in finding help, when he needs it.
- If your child doesn’t understand, say, a math concept instead of doing his homework, let him watch you work similar problems until he understands then let him complete his assigned problems. It’s okay to let him struggle a bit as long as he knows you’re available if he needs you.
One of the most helpful things you can do, according to the U.S. Department of Education is to show your children that you think homework is important. Ask questions and be supportive and provide help only when he asks for it.
Free help with homework is available on web sites like: