as for you, i think you should just relax for a little bit. maybe start hanging out with some new girls and just put the first girl on the backburner. this will help you in that you won't be so tied up in it all the time, and it will also help her because it will give her a chance to figure some stuff out. more importantly, she will see what she's missing if you two hang out less. this will likely make you much more attractive to her. or, worst case scenario, she'll pick ian. (which is unlikely) but if she does, then obviously the relationship wouldn't have worked anyway. moral of the story: give the relationship a little breathing room and cross your fingers. good luck!