That is a real tough question to answer from outside.\nI think you know that it is not OK for anyone, including your parents, to physically abuse. Spankings and swats are one thing, but it sounds as though you're into something closer to abusive behaviorisms.\nAre they accidents? You should be able to tell by their reactions to these incidents. \nKnow this. Whatever the answer to that, you are worth more than the way you are feeling. I considered suicide many times as a youngster, but God has a plan. \nIs there anyone who could take you in for a while. It sounds like maybe you're just getting caught up in your parent's battle and they aren't necessarily disappointed in you in any way. Still, it is not an easy environment to be in and always has the possibility of danger. \n\nKeep your head up best you can. Pray to the Lord for some resolve...some kind of answer. Use your God-given judgement if it gets too intense. My prayers are with you.