As for women - most generally agree that her personal issues need to be met in order to feel free to be intimate.  For instance: rent overdue? Child sick? these matters can distract from intimacy, and appear as a cold spell. \n\nFor a guy - supposedly we have a comparmentalized psyche that allows us to be romantic even if we just got out of a war zone.  However, harmones ebb and flow, and, if a guy is self concisous about an issue not even related to you, he can appear cold - like his weight may be a little up this morning, or a cut in pay may make him feel less manly and attractive...