Let me sing you a little song about what I would do with a million dollars:\n\nIf I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nI'd buy you a house\n(I would buy you a house)\nIf I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nI'd buy you furniture for your house\n(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)\nAnd if I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you a K-Car\n(A nice Reliant automobile)\nIf I had a million dollars I'd buy your love\n\nIf I had a million dollars\nI'd build a tree fort in our yard\nIf I had million dollars\nYou could help, it wouldn't be that hard\nIf I had million dollars\nMaybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere\nYou know, we could just go up there and hang out\nLike open the fridge and stuff\nThere would already be laid out foods for us\nLike little pre-wrapped sausages and things\n\nThey have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon\nWell, can you blame 'em\nUh, yeah\n\nIf I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you a fur coat\n(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)\nAnd if I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you an exotic pet\n(Yep, like a llama or an emu)\nAnd if I had a million dollars\n(If I had a a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains\n(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)\nAnd If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love\n\nIf I had a million dollars\nWe wouldn't have to walk to the store\nIf I had a million dollars\nNow, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more\nIf I had a million dollars\nWe wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner\nBut we would eat Kraft Dinner\nOf course we would, we’d just eat more\nAnd buy really expensive ketchups with it\nThat’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!\nMmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm\n\nIf I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you a green dress\n(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)\nAnd if I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you some art\n(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)\nIf I had a million dollars\n(If I had a million dollars)\nWell, I'd buy you a monkey\n(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)\n\nIf I had a million dollars\nI’d buy your love\n\nIf I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars\nIf I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars\nIf I had a million dollars\nI'd be rich