is he taking medication, umm does the soldier stand to attention, are you only "asking" at night. most guys have to wind down so you need to either get his energy up or try in the morning its just one of those things you have two different clocks. its hard to push all day and then you have chores at home and then he has to expend more energy to get it on. hate to make it sound like that. but you need to try earlier before he starts the wind down to bed. you could also hold his dinner hostage until you have a little fun.