fei75766_ch08_242-270.indd 248  02/06/20 12:02 PM
Part II    Psychodynamic Theories248
another, toagroup, ortoaninstitution inorder tobecome onewiththeworld. “In
thiswayhetranscends theseparateness ofhisindividual existence bybecoming part
ofsomebody orsomething bigger thanhimself andexperiences hisidentity inconnec -
tionwiththepower towhich hehassubmitted” (Fromm, 1981, p.2).
Whereas submissive people search forarelationship withdomineering peo-
ple,power seekers welcome submissive partners. When asubmissive person anda
domineering person findeachother, theyfrequently establish asymbiotic relationship, 
onethatissatisfying tobothpartners. Although suchsymbiosis maybegratifying, it
blocks growth toward integrity andpsychological health. Thetwopartners “liveon
eachother andfrom eachother, satisfying theircraving forcloseness, yetsuffering 
from thelackofinner strength andself-reliance which would require freedom and
independence” (Fromm, 1981, p.2).
People insymbiotic relationships aredrawn tooneanother notbylovebutbya
desperate need forrelatedness, aneed thatcannever becompletely satisfied bysuch
apartnership. Underlying theunion areunconscious feelings ofhostility. People in
symbiotic relationships blame theirpartners fornotbeing abletocompletely satisfy 
theirneeds. They findthemselves seeking additional submission orpower, andasa
result, theybecome more andmore dependent ontheirpartners andlessandlessof
anindividual.
Fromm believed thatloveistheonlyroute bywhich aperson canbecome 
united withtheworld and,atthesame time, achieve individuality andintegrity. He
defined loveasa“union withsomebody, orsomething outside oneself under the condi -
tion of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own sel f”(Fromm, 1981, p.3).
Love involves sharing andcommunion withanother, yetitallows aperson thefree-
domtobeunique andseparate. Itenables aperson tosatisfy theneed forrelatedness 
without surrendering integrity andindependence. Inlove,twopeople become oneyet
remain two.
InThe Art of Loving, Fromm (1956) identified care, responsibility, respect, and
knowledge asfourbasic elements common toallforms ofgenuine love.Someone 
wholoves another person must careforthatperson andbewilling totakecareofhim
orher.Love alsomeans responsibility, thatis,awillingness andability torespond. A
person wholoves others responds totheirphysical andpsychological needs, respects 
them forwhotheyare,andavoids thetemptation oftrying tochange them. Butpeo-
plecanrespect others onlyiftheyhaveknowledge ofthem. Toknow others means to
seethem from theirownpoint ofview. Thus, care, responsibility, respect, andknowl -
edgeareallentwined inaloverelationship.
Transcendence
Likeother animals, humans arethrown intotheworld without theirconsent orwill
andthenremoved from it—again without theirconsent orwill.Butunlike other ani-
mals, human beings aredriven bytheneed fortranscendence, defined astheurge
toriseabove apassive andaccidental existence andinto“therealm ofpurposeful -
nessandfreedom” (Fromm, 1981, p.4).Justasrelatedness canbepursued through 
either productive ornonproductive methods, transcendence canbesought through 
either positive ornegative approaches. People cantranscend theirpassive nature by
either creating lifeordestroying it.Although other animals cancreate lifethrough Final PDF to printer