only 24% had ever been divorced. In contrast, only 72% of the avoidant
adults had ever been married, and 50% of them had experienced a divorce.
But why are relationships with secure adults better? Researchers find that
people with a secure attachment style are more likely than others to charac-
terize their current romantic relationship as one with a great deal of love, a
strong commitment, and a large amount of trust (Keelan et al., 1994; Simp-
son, 1990). Moreover, these secure individuals are able to accept and support
their partner despite the partner ’s personal faults (Hazan & Shaver, 1987).
Conversations between secure partners tend to be warmer and more intimate
than conversations with avoidant or anxious-ambivalent partners (Simpson,
1990). And compared to people with other attachment styles, secure adultsare more likely to share personal information when appropriate (Mikulincer &
Nachshon, 1991; Tidwell, Reis, & Shaver, 1996).
This kind of relationship is very different from one with an avoidant adult.
People with an avoidant attachment style are hampered by a fear of intimacy
and problems with jealousy (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). They tend to believe
that real romance rarely lasts forever and that the kind of head-over-heels lovedepicted in movies and romance novels doesn ’t really exist. As a result, they
are less likely than most people to show affection or share intimacy with their
partners (Collins, Cooper, Albino, & Allard, 2002). Not surprisingly, 43% of
the undergraduate students classified with an avoidant attachment style in
one study said they had never been in love (Feeney, Noller, & Patty, 1993).
In contrast, people with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style fall in
love many times but have difficulty finding the long-term happiness they des-perately seek (Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Rholes, Simpson, Campbell, & Grich,
2001). These people are afraid of losing their partner and are quick to give in
to the partner ’s wishes in an effort to keep him or her happy (Pistole, 1989).
College students in one study watched their dating partners evaluate the physi-cal attractiveness of other people (Simpson, Ickes, & Grich, 1999). Theanxious-ambivalent participants were particularly likely to feel their relation-
ship was threatened by the experience. Yet, like the newborns in the original
research, both avoidant and anxious-ambivalent adults experienced heightenedstress when separated from their romantic partners (Feeney & Kirkpatrick,
1996). Anxious-ambivalent people are also more likely to fall in love with
someone who does not love them in return (Aron, Aron, & Allen, 1998). Butbecause they fear of abandonment or perhaps because they believe they don ’t
deserve a better relationship, these individuals are less likely to break up witha partner who fails to meet their needs (Slotter & Finkel, 2009).
The effects of attachment style are likely to surface when couples face
stress in their relationships. Romantic partners in one study were asked todiscuss for 15 minutes an unresolved issue in their relationship (Powers,Pietromonaco, Gunlicks, & Sayer, 2006). Secure participants experienced
fewer physiological indicators of stress as the conversation progressed than
did insecure participants. For insecure individuals, even small relationship is-sues can be threatening. Insecure partners tend to see more conflict in their rela-
tionships than do secure partners (Campbell, Simpson, Boldry, & Kashy, 2005)
and become more upset when they perceive small slights from their partners,Attachment Style and Adult Relationships 145