wonder, then, that we often fail to enjoy conversations with lonely people. It’ s
not that lonely people are intentionally rude, but rather that they don ’t under-
stand how their interaction style turns away potential friends. Fortunately,
some efforts to combat loneliness with social skills training have been promis-
ing (Rook & Peplau, 1982; Young, 1982).
Other researchers examine the way lonely and nonlonely people use self-
disclosure. Studies find that lonely people generally reveal less about them-
selves than their partners (Berg & Peplau, 1982; Sloan & Solano, 1984). In
one study lonely people selected relatively nonintimate topics to talk about ina get-acquainted conversation (Solano, Batten, & Parish, 1982). Not surpris-
ingly, the lonely participants ’partners reciprocated with nonintimate topics
as well. Other studies find lonely people are often not aware of social rules
about when and how much to disclose (Chelune, Sultan, & Williams, 1980;
Solano & Koester, 1989; Wittenberg & Reis, 1986). They may disclose too
much or fail to reveal enough about themselves when the other person ex-
pects it. Consequently, others may see them as either weird or aloof, and re-
spond accordingly.
SELF-ESTEEM
If there is a single concept that threads its way through the writings of the hu-
manistic psychologists, it may be how people feel about themselves. A central
goal of Rogerian psychotherapy is to get clients to accept and appreciate them-
selves for who they are. Maslow wrote about the need for self-respect and the
need to feel content about who we are and what we do with our lives. In short,
humanistic personality theory is concerned with the individual ’ss e l f - e s t e e m .324 CHAPTER 12 The Humanistic Approach
Text not available due to copyright restrictions