fei75766_ch11_345-376.indd 365  02/06/20 12:38 PM
Chapter 11    May: Existential Psychology365
Mayinsisted thatpsychotherapy must beconcerned withhelping people experience 
theirexistence, andthatrelieving symptoms ismerely aby-product ofthatexperience. 
How doesatherapist helppatients become free,responsible human beings? 
Maydidnotoffermany specific directions fortherapists tofollow. Existential thera -
pistshavenospecial setoftechniques ormethods thatcanbeapplied toallpatients. 
Instead, theyhaveonlythemselves, theirownhumanity tooffer. They must establish a
one-to-one relationship (Mitwelt )thatenables patients tobecome more aware ofthem -
selves andtolivemore fullyintheirownworld (Eigenwelt ).Thisapproach maymean 
challenging patients toconfront theirdestiny, toexperience despair, anxiety, andguilt. 
Butitalsomeans establishing anI-thou encounter inwhich boththerapist andpatient 
areviewed assubjects rather thanobjects. InanI-thou relationship, thetherapist has
empathy forthepatient’s experience andisopen tothepatient’s subjective world.
May(1991) alsodescribed therapy aspartly religion, partly science, andpartly 
friendship. Thefriendship, however, isnotanordinary social relationship; rather, it
callsforthetherapist tobeconfronting andtochallenge thepatient. Maybelieved 
thattherelationship itself istherapeutic, anditstransforming effects areindependent 
ofanything therapists might sayoranytheoretical orientation theymight have. 
Our task is to be guide, friend, and interpreter to persons on their journeys through 
their private hells and purgatories. Specifically ourtaskistohelppatients gettothe
point where theycandecide whether theywishtoremain victims ...orwhether 
theychoose toleave thisvictim-state andventure through purgatory withthe
hope ofachieving some sense ofparadise. Ourpatients often, toward theend,
areunderstandably frightened bythepossibility offreely deciding forthemselves 
whether totaketheirchances bycompleting thequest theyhavebravely begun. 
(May, 1991, p.165)
Philosophically, Mayheldmany ofthesame beliefs asCarlRogers (seeChapter 
10).Basic tobothapproaches isthenotion oftherapy asahuman encounter: thatis,an
I-thou relationship withthepotential tofacilitate growth within boththetherapist and
thepatient. Inpractice, however, Maywasmuch more likely toaskquestions, todelve 
intoapatient’s early childhood, andtosuggest possible meanings ofcurrent behavior. 
Forexample, heexplained toPhilip thathisrelationship withNicole wasan
attempt toholdontohismother. Rogers would haverejected suchatechnique 
because itemanated from anexternal (i.e.,thetherapist’s) frame ofreference. May, 
however, believed thatthese kinds ofinterpretations canbeaneffective means of
confronting patients withinformation thattheyhavebeen hiding from themselves.
Another technique MayusedwithPhilip wasthesuggestion thatheholda
fantasy conversation withhisdead mother. Inthisconversation, Philip spoke forboth
himself andhismother. When talking forhismother, hewasableforthefirsttime
toempathize withher,toseePhilip from hismother’s point ofview. Speaking forhis
mother, hesaidthatshewasveryproud ofhimandthathehadalways been herfavor -
itechild. Then talking forhimself, hetoldhismother thatheappreciated hercourage 
andrecalled anincident when hercourage saved hiseyesight. When Philip finished 
thefantasy conversation, hesaid,“Inever inathousand years would haveimagined 
thatwould come out”(May, 1981, p.39).
Mayalsoasked Philip tobring aphoto ofhimself when hewasalittleboy.Philip 
thenhadafantasy conversation with“Little Philip.” Astheconversation ensued, “Little 
Philip” explained thathehadtriumphed overtheproblem thathadmost troubled Final PDF to printer