parents. You find yourself talking about similar experiences you have had.
Before the conversation is over, you learn quite a lot about this individual —
problems with her family, with dating, with her self-confidence. You reveal
that you, too, sometimes have difficulty with relationships. Perhaps you tell
this person about an embarrassing dating situation you ’ve been in. When the
conversation ends, you feel good about her and maybe even about yourself.
Most of us have participated in this kind of conversation. If you think
back to your own experience, you may recall that the conversation began
with relatively impersonal topics and gradually worked toward more private
information. Most likely, the conversation was anything but one-sided.
You and this other person probably took turns sharing information aboutyourselves. And it ’s quite possible you left the conversation feeling good
about your new acquaintance and perceiving that he or she also felt goodabout you. This may well have been the first step toward a long-lastingfriendship. Moreover, the whole encounter may also have put you in a pleas-
ant mood and kept you in good spirits for the rest of the day. Researchers
find that these experiences are typical when two individuals share personalinformation.
People engage in self-disclosure when they reveal intimate information
about themselves to another person. The discloser considers the informationpersonal, and the choice of whom to disclose to is fairly selective. Many hu-
manistic psychologists argue that self-disclosure is important for our personal
growth and happiness. Rogers (1961) maintained that disclosing openly
within a trusting relationship is a necessary step for understanding oneself.
However, the causal arrow between self-disclosure and well-being runs
both ways (Jourard, 1971). People freely reveal information about themselvesto others because they are psychologically healthy, and our psychological
health increases because we disclose personal information to friends and
loved ones. Of course, this is far from the way most people act. We often goto great lengths to keep others from finding out about bad habits and parts of
our character they might not like. We ’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves or
perhaps losing the respect of the people we love and admire. But Rogers
argued that the result of all this deception is simply more to worry about
and the ever-present fear that the real you might be revealed. More important,
it is only through self-disclosure that we can truly come to know ourselves.Putting feelings into words allows us to understand those feelings in a way
that simply thinking about emotions cannot. And if we are not aware of all
aspects of ourselves, we cannot grow and become fully self-actualized.
Self-disclosure also plays a role in psychotherapy. Many humanistic
psychologists argue that clients benefit most when they engage in an openexchange of thoughts and feelings with the therapist. When clients feel freeto explore their true feelings, they move closer to understanding and becom-
ing their true selves. Today, therapists from many approaches acknowledge
the important role self-disclosure plays in the psychotherapeutic process (Farber,2006).
But a therapeutic relationship is not one-sided. Rogers maintained that
appropriate self-disclosure by the therapist is also beneficial. Disclosing308 CHAPTER 12 The Humanistic Approach