least. Analyses of the videotapes revealed that these couples talked to each
other less, looked at each other less, used fewer expressive gestures, and
smiled and laughed less than people in the other combinations.
These results argue against the masculine man –feminine woman combina-
tion as the ideal couple. When we examine the different ways masculine and
feminine people approach an interpersonal encounter, some of the reasons
for this finding become clear. The masculine style emphasizes control, self-monitoring, and self-restraint, whereas femininity is associated with inter-
personal warmth and actively expressing one ’s feelings. Little wonder, then,
that this combination didn ’t work out well in this or other experiments
(Ickes, 1993; Ickes, Schermer, & Steeno, 1979; Lamke & Bell, 1982).
But what about long-term relationships? After the initial awkwardness,
it’s possible a masculine man and a feminine woman will get along well once
they get to know one another. However, this notion is also not supported bythe evidence. Researchers find the highest level of relationship satisfaction in
people married to someone with feminine characteristics (Antill, 1983). That
is, people with either a feminine or an androgynous spouse tend to be satis-
fied with their relationship. Being married to a partner who lacks feminine
characteristics (that is, a masculine or undifferentiated partner) is indicative
of an unhappy marriage. This same pattern has been found in cohabitating
heterosexuals, gay couples, and lesbian couples (Kurdek & Schmitt, 1986).1020304050Liking Rating
Masculine
Male–
Feminine
FemaleMasculine
Male–
Androgynous
FemaleAndrogynous
Male–
Feminine
FemaleAndrogynous
Male–
Androgynous
Female
FIGURE 14.3 Mean Liking Rating Between Couples During 5-Minute
Interaction
Source: From “Boys and girls together —and alienated: On enacting stereotyped sex roles in mixed-sex dyads, ”
by W. Ickes and R. D. Barnes, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 1978, 36, 669 –683.Individual Differences in Gender-Role Behavior 383