Developmental Differences
Adults have an arsenal of defenses they can use to ward off anxiety. But that
is not the case for children (Cramer, 1991; Vaillant, 1992). Preschool children
who experience a threat to their well-being may have no way to deal with
their emotional reactions other than to simply deny the events ever took
place. Denial consists of disavowing certain facts, from failure to see reality
to distorting one ’s memory ( “No, that ’s not what happened ”), thereby reduc-
ing the anxiety associated with a traumatic event. Several studies find that
young children rely heavily on denial (Brody, Rozek, & Muten, 1985;
Cramer, 1997; Cramer & Brilliant, 2001). When one team of researchers
asked kindergarteners if they had ever felt like a sad and crying boy in adrawing, few of the children acknowledged ever feeling sad (Glasberg &
Aboud, 1982).
However, as children mature, they find that outright denial of facts and
feelings is increasingly ineffective. By the time they enter the middle elemen-
tary school years, children understand that refusing to admit a fact does not
make it go away. Unfortunately, the anxieties that brought about the use of
denial do not disappear with this insight. Rather, the child comes to rely on
more sophisticated methods of defense. In particular, older children often
turn to projection to alleviate their anxieties and inward fears. Projection pro-
tects us from threatening anxiety by attributing unacceptable thoughts and
feelings to someone else. In a sense, we move the anxiety-provoking material
outside of ourselves. We recognize selfish behavior and sinister motives in
others, but not in ourselves. Researchers in one study gathered TAT stories
from children at several different times between the ages of 6 1/2 and 9 1/2
(Cramer, 1997). As shown in Figure 4.2, the children ’s use of denial and pro-
jection perfectly fit the expectations of the investigators. The children used in-
creasingly less denial as they moved through these years but came to use
projection more.
But projection also has its limitations. One study found that 9- to 11-
year-old girls with few friends were quick to use both denial ( “They’re not re-
ally ignoring me ”) and projection ( “Those girls are just mean ”) when faced
with social rejection (Sandstrom & Cramer, 2003). By failing to acknowledge
the reasons classmates rejected them, the girls most likely had a difficult time
making the adjustments necessary to gain social approval. As they move intoyoung adulthood, most men and women come to rely on more sophisticated
defense mechanisms (Cramer, 2007). In fact, the use of defense mechanisms
other than denial and projection is sometimes used as an indicator of emo-tional maturity (Cramer, 1998a; Mahalik, Cournoyer, DeFranc, Cherry, &
Napolitano, 1998). The tools used by the ego may change as we move
through the childhood years and into adulthood, but the need to protect our-selves from unacceptable levels of anxiety remains.
Defensive Style
We all know people who are masters at rationalizing away their misdeeds and
mistakes. You also may know someone who frequently displaces his anger78 CHAPTER 4 The Freudian Approach