Grief
Reactions
Crying is a normal and natural part of grieving. It has also been found, however, that crying and talking about the loss is not the only healthy response and, if forced or excessive, can be harmful. Responses or actions in the affected person, called "coping ugly" by researcher George Bonanno, may seem counter-intuitive or even appear dysfunctional, e.g., celebratory responses, laughter, or self-serving bias in interpreting events. Lack of crying is also a natural, healthy reaction, potentially protective of the individual, and may also be seen as a sign of resilience. Science has found that some healthy people who are grieving do not spontaneously talk about the loss. Pressing people to cry or retell the experience of a loss can be damaging. Genuine laughter is healthy. When a loved one dies, it is not unusual for the bereaved to report that they have "seen" or "heard" the person they have lost. In a 2008 survey, 27% of respondents who had lost a loved one said they had this kind of "contact" experience.
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