sure enough , an anxiety attack bloomed on her , but ironically , fear was what got her through it : fear that she was going to get hobbled by this problem she could n't control ; fear that jim was going to win not because he was the superior player in the maker 's game , but because she cracked under the pressure ; fear that she was never going to be able to change ... . devina shoved her hand into the bag and grabbed the first lipstick that hit her palm .