the next thing i know i 'm staring up at her and she 's saying that she has given me a very special gift and that now i am something called vandervelde and she will make sure that i am offered a spot in the danae because she has very powerful connec - `` he stops when he sees my face , which i 'm sure is leeched of all color now that he 's snipped the small thread of hope i was clinging to .