as a male bonded with his female , so too did a father to his offspring - and accordingly , his heart just opened wide and let it all in : the commitment that came with choosing to try for a child , the terror of losing them that he bet never went away , the joy that there was something of you on the face of the earth after you were gone , the impatience to meet them in person , the desperate desire to hold them in your arms and look into their eyes and give them all the love you had to give .