and she wept as well for the others lost in the dark war , and she wept for her mother and the loss she had endured , and she wept for emma and the blackthorns , remembering how they had fought back tears when she had told them that she had seen mark in the tunnels of faerie , and how he belonged to the hunt now , and she wept for simon and the hole in her heart where he had been , and the way she would miss him every day until she died , and she wept for herself and the changes that had been wrought in her , because sometimes even change for the better felt like a little death .