father in heaven , i wo n't pray for this one to live or that one to die , oh , no , never for that one to die , and never , never will i try even to make it rain or stop rain , or to make it snow , never until i understand what it means , all of it ... '' and there my prayer ran out into flashing memories , and the snow caught my eyes as i looked up into the trees and the snow came down softly on me as if it were kissing me .