i would talk to people whose existence i had forgotten years before and they would ask me about my marriage ( failed a decade ago , a relationship that had slowly frayed until eventually , as they always seem to , it broke ) and whether i was seeing anyone ( i was n't ; i was not even sure that i could , not yet ) , and they would ask about my children ( all grown up , they have their own lives , they wish they could be here today ) , and work ( doing fine , thank you , i would say , never knowing how to talk about what i do .