i am very obligd to your mother , by the bye : she wrote , when she saw my name had come out in debrett 's - as j. roland , very discreet - and had me to a nice , sociable little dinner , with every cabinet minister she could contrive to lay hands on , i gather : all very shocked , as they had brought their wives , but they could not say so much as boo with her ladyship at the foot of the table as if butter would not melt in her mouth , and the ladies did not mind inn the least , when they understood i was an officer , and not some vauxhall comedienne .