from that moment onas if he had stood high above them , looking out and down from a platform , one which each and every one who passed by saw him , there ... naked , totally exposed : his skin and thoughts and feelings all exposed : skeletal from that moment on his knowing about his own beliefs was one-half step ahead of his consciousnessit was as if he was being led , not by another , but by a force , a presence , a power within him .