all this an instant report about this strange people , about their heart , how much of a threat they were , what it is they were seeking upon the earth , the power of their gods and goddesses inside her was this discovery : she the map , he , faithful and fate-filled geographer of the inner journeyknowing now his body , as it could never have been known by otto , knowing it as what he had conjured up that instant filled with his final torture of mother dolor : a knowing which could not have been back then : for all that was his with her , back then , was the burying , here , it was a burying of himself in her , her as alive : her as his body and blood .