sure , it might fill you up with inexplicable thoughts and yearnings and snatches of magnificent realities that made life in the gloominess of the eye seem even more unbearable , but it was better than being a worrier and having to suffer a constant assault of anxiety and dread , or , even worse , an ender , whose task it was to share the worst possible moment in the existence of any living thing , the pain , regret and raw panic as it felt nothingness creep up on it .