this often made him feel lonely , and squatting near the edge of their island hed make short-lived dreams of his own , in which he joined his ghostly mates in worlds of bright green fields and sunshine , amongst colourful birds and trees laden with apples red like rubies , and then theyd all sit around a great big table and eat , oh dear gods , food , endless in abundance and variety instead of which he had to make do , like every other child of ienar lin , with the wilted , bland vegetables that his mother grew in their garden and with the occasional of stale bread and petrified cheese peddled by the boatmen , and which tasted more punishment than nourishment .