smidge was , at times , unlike and like other followers , for he did feel the need to suspect others of mistreating or misusing him in some form or fashion , and he did have a ruthless nature that could turn against anyone he felt was threatening him and his enterprise , but he still wanted to be trusted , loved , and liked well enough by those who called him a friend and family member , and so he tried to avoid upsetting or disturbing them too much .