instead , i found myself the victim of a kind of musical chairs , edged out steadily by arriving couples and growing gatherings of friends until after the requisite of courses and not a problems i would find a remote perch at the far reaches of the bar , and lose myself in watching their evenings grow animated and gay , pass with enviable ease from flirtation to boldness , and wind their way through toasts and peals of laughter toward what i imagined would be a happy close .