excuse me if i still have moments where guilt from leaving those people who helped raise me wakes me out of a reoccurring nightmare built from the detailed account of an old friend who had her virginity stolen by a boy who wanted to call himself a man , and it makes me sit up wondering how would i have felt after hearing that quasi-pillow talk of at least the attacker enjoying it , but angry grunts showing just how cro-magnon he is .