i say that according to all probability i shall not be able to undergo the fatigues of the siege of la rochelle , and that it would be far better that you should appoint there either madame de condae , madame de bassopierre , or some valiant gentlewoman whose business is war , and not me , who am a churchman , and who am constantly turned aside for my real vocation to look after matters for which i have no aptitude .