you 'll have to excuse me if i 'm a little morbid today , just getting my thoughts on tape while i can because i have a feeling i 'm going to be making that transition soon , shutting down my sensitivities , and when i do i know there will be no going back and all this stuff in my head will be lost and i 'll be like the rest of them , standing at the bar in some tavern telling war stories , and someone will buy me a drink on the strength and ask the question they always ask : were n't you scared ?