experts ( ex a has been , spert a drip under pressure ) from all around the globe fell into three neat categories , the first group ( the pessimists ) said it would take three months , the second group ( the optimists ) said it would take one month , and the third group ( those who regularly talked to the fairies at the bottom of their gardens ) said it would take two weeks , but six days after jesse had collapsed in the doorway half dead , the doors were flung open and nurse bentley , still in the same uniform , but hopefully with a change of underwear , ceremonially handed a small pot of pills to jesse , who still looked half dead but this had more to do with the nine nurses who on hearing that their new local hero was a virgin , had tried to help him overcome his malady , ( of course i am a virgin , i was born on the tenth of september ) and the other twenty that heard that he was spectacularly good at one thing in his life .