if on page 13 i wrote justin timberlake 's initials with mine in a heart on my sneakers , only to throw them out the next day when laura duke teased me for it , or if on page 98 i set up base camp outside roger lin 's locker just to see if he 'd notice me there , or if on page 154 i entered a milkshake-drinking contest to be able to stand next to mark tamlin for fifteen minutes , only to have him puke vanilla chum onto my skechers ... well , somehow i felt these pages did n't bear consideration as i headed to page 239 and bought a ten-dollar handm wallet for a boy because it was the only thing in the world i knew for sure he liked , including me .