lectures skipped : 5 grades i 've dropped as a result of missing said lectures : 0 shopping trips : 3 fitted polo shirts purchased : 4 - in pale blue , yellow , pink , and white new average time i arrive for events : 5 minutes late amount of guilt i feel at turning up late : minimal parties attended : 3 parties enjoyed : 1 number of times i 've missed my father 's calls : 2 number of times i 've read a magazine or the internet during his call : 4 boys kissed : 2 i emphasize that last statistic with mixed pride .