i know i should spend more time on my knees praying for you and , yes , for lord richard allen and all my friends , and not singing and dancing the night away , which is what i have been doing , but i just ca n't ... my nature is to be cheerful and my foolish self is very likely to be led astray by happy , frivolous things , things of the moment , and i just ca n't help it , jaimy , i ca n't .