yes , jacky , memories of that trying time are slowly coming back to me-how in my despair at your loss , i turned in a maddened state to robbing the broad highway , with revenge uppermost in my shattered mind , revenge against those who had condemned you and caused , i had thought , your ultimate destruction : bliffil , whom i now remember that i killed in cold blood there in the moonlight on that dark road , and the detestable flashby , whom i fear still lives and , and ... sidrah 's hand is placed on my shaking arm .