i say this to the marines and , crazily , i try to struggle to my feet to present my chest and try to make a good brave show of it for the sake of my crews , so they 'll think well of me in years to come , though i do n't know why i should care , but my mind is numb with terror and i see jaimy ... good-bye , jaimy , i loved you ... and jared coming toward me , but someone beats them both to it .