because now even his body is starting to fall out of it , and that 's ridiculous because he 's a seventeen-year-old boy and a breeze can make him hard , and while he 's still hard , he feels like it 's not going to go anywhere , and now julian realizes they 've fallen out of step , and he curls away , lies back on a pillow , leans on his side and strokes cooper 's shoulder , touches cooper 's cheek , says , `` you 're so lovely , '' and cooper does n't want to be lovely , he does n't want to be a painting , he wants to be screwing himself into oblivion , and he knows , completely knows , that julian is not the guy for the job .