now it 's skin on skin , sweat on sweat , and it 's hot , it 's really hot , but cooper 's still not feeling what he wants to feel-it still feels empty to him-he 's still feeling empty-so he kisses julian harder , moves his hands down there , and julian whispers , `` not yet , '' and cooper feels he ca n't wait much longer , it 's going too slow and he wants it to be fast enough that he does n't feel anything else , does n't think anything else , because is n't that what sex is supposed to be like , is n't it supposed to be a form of oblivion , and he 's not there yet-not there-and julian is slowing things down again , easing things down , and cooper does n't understand why they 're not nak*d yet , so he moves to julian 's belt , but julian moves them around so it 's impossible to undo the buckle .