and even though i may appear to the outside world - well arlo as he 's the only one i see - that i 'm happy , with not a care or concern , the truth is i 'm unhappy , sad , forlorn , mournful , afflicted and all of those things combined in one , to create the ultimate , most wretched misery you could ever imagine , that horrific it makes me want to hide away and lick my wounds for all eternity to come .