and that horrible year , when mom would disappear and dad would fume and cry and yell , all i could do when you were n't home was go to my room and take out the box and read something stupid about the velour pantsuit that mrs. keller wore to school that day , and how you thought it made her look like barney 's bastard love child , and i would find myself smiling , because even though the was falling apart and our parents had turned our lives into a , i honestly believed that you were the only family i needed .