but then i looked out at mom , who was smirking at me , as if issuing a challenge , and dad , who was tapping on his pipe , pretending to be nonchalant so as not to apply any pressure , and teddy , who was jumping up and down-though i think it was because he was hopped up on marshmallows , not because he had any desire to hear me play-and kim and willow and henry all peering at me like this really mattered , and adam , looking as awed and proud as he always did when he listened to me play .