`` it was not all that astonishing , higgins , '' i say , and then proceed to tell him of jardineaux , the guillotine , madame pelletier , les petites gamines , jean-paul , marshal de groot , my commission as a second lieutenant in the grand army , bardot , the clodhoppers , my job as messenger between the generals and napoleon , my delivery of napoleon 's message to murat , which ordered him to charge the prussian line , meeting randall trevelyne again , the great and terrible battle , and finally , that dark time down on my knees on that beach , crying , and expecting nothing but death .