things have n't been the same between the two of us since that collateral damage tour , but the look she gives me now , i do n't know how to describe it : like i 'm her biggest disappointment in life , but she tries to rise above it , to tamp it down , to act all casual , like i 'm just one of the fans , one of the hangerson , one of the many people who want something from her that she 's not obliged to give .