the fact that we have no idea where donnie is these days-we 've heard rumors he 's doing some habitat for humanity shit in guatemala to dodge a drug rap after that senior skip-day 'shroom party last spring-has no relevance to donnie 's permanent # 1 standing on the no kiss list listtm ; # 2 : welcome , gabriel , hot midnight doorman , lusted after by every building resident with a pulse , except maybe creepy mr. mcallister , who apparently needs at least c-cup cl**vage action to get off ; # 3 : my cousin alexander ( kansas all-state tight end- 'nuff said ) ; # 4 : ely 's cousin alexandra ( east village , standing ovation for her performance in the experimental stage version of the crying game-'nuff said ) ; # 5 : robin , cuz both ely and i like robin , who really likes robin , and robin is my symbol proving that i can make friends in college outside of naomi and ely ; and # 6 : the tweedy theology grad student guy who is illegally subletting apartment 15b .