i immediately felt twice as bad , for one thing because of the hooped skirt with its red and white stripes worn over my own uniform ( i looked like one of the traffic cones they put around roadworks and building sites ) , for another because puffylips lost no time in complaining of me : `` ... does n't know right from left ... clumsiest creature i ever saw ... not very quick on the uptake ... an impossible task ... stupid thing ... ca n't turn a duck into a swan ... no way she can go to that soiree without attracting the wrong sort of attention ...