as the girls carefully place on my head the veil 's coronet of braided posies and adjust the filmy cloth , i marvel at just how i came to be here in this place , when , not five days ago , i was kneeling in the sand of a desolate beach in france , a pistol pressed to the back of my head , waiting for the bullet that would surely end my life ... part i chapter 1 `` you , miss , '' pronounces higgins , `` are a complete mess . ''