i am nothing if not determined , as well as extremely foolish , so it was not my hormones leading nick to the closet room for a second shit , i mean shot ; no , it was worse , it was plain stupidity leading me , the patented norah-brand stupidity ( the kind that writes regression letters to evil exes ) that my brain holds in higher contempt than ignorance because it 's the exclusive norah brand that will lead down a path to what i hate most : regret .