twin feelings of pleasure and pain : oppressive heat , the frigid bite of the ocean , so cold it lodges in your ribs and takes your breath away ; eating ice cream so fast a headache rises from the teeth to the eyeballs ; endless , boring evenings with the hargroves , stuffing myself with food better than any i have ever eaten in my life ; and sitting with lena and alex at 37 brooks in the highlands , watching a beautiful sunset bleed out into the sky , knowing that we are one day closer to our cures .