but i totally did n't want to let him up because a ) i had the superior position , and with any boy-much less a blackthorne boy-superior position is something you should hang on to when you get a chance , b ) if i did n't let him up , there was a lot less chance of him retaliating by flipping me through the air like a rag doll ( which i totally would n't have put past him ) , and c ) i kinda liked knowing where i stood with zach .