and yet at the same time , i want someone to figure it out , to piece together all the hints i 've been dropping all day long , for years and years even , but no one ever figures it out , and i 'm beginning to see why people go mad and do awful things-like the nazis and hitler and ted kaczynski and timothy mcveigh and eric harris and dylan klebold and cho seung-hui all34 did and so many other horrific people whom we learn about in school and-you know what ?