there are so many things i want to tell her , so many things she does n't know : like how i remember when she first came home from the hospital , a big pink blob with a perma-smile , and she used to fall asleep while grabbing on to my pointer finger ; how i used to give her piggyback rides up and down the beach on cape cod , and she would tug on my ponytail to direct me one way or the other ; how soft and furry her head was when she was first born ; that the first time you kiss someone you 'll be nervous , and it will be weird , and it wo n't be as good as you want it to be , and that 's okay ; how you should only fall in love with people who will fall in love with you back .