i ca n't breathe or think or do anything but laugh and splash and focus on the bright red bobbing buoys , focus on winning , winning , i have to win , and when we 're only a few feet away and he 's still in the lead and my shoes are leaden and filled with water , my clothes dragging me down like my pockets have been weighted with stones , without thinking i leap forward and tackle him , wrestling down into the water , feeling my foot connect with his thigh as i rocket off of him and reach out to slap the nearest buoy , the plastic shooting away from my hand when i hit it .