all this time i 've been blindly coasting along , the idiot sidekick , thinking about our last real summer together , stressing about the matches i 'll get and evaluations and boards and normal stuff and she 's been nodding and smiling and saying , `` uh-huh , yeah , me too , '' and `` i 'm sure things will be fine , '' and meanwhile , behind my back , she 's been turning into someone i do n't know- someone with secrets and weird habits and opinions about things we 're not even supposed to think about .