he kneels down in front of me with a grunt and says for me to hold me damn tongue or he 'll fetch me a whack alongside me head and so i shuts me mouth on the tears of shame that are rolling out of me eyes and down me cheeks as he sticks his hand under me dress and runs his hand up the inside of me legs and i gots to stand there and take it and take it till i thinks i 'm gon na lose me mind and me chest is racked with sobs and i starts a high keening sound and my spinnin ' mind thinks over and over dirty and shameful yes , shame on you jacky faber the finest of ladies , oh yes just the finest of the ladies , and oh jaimy i 'm so sorry , this is so dirty and shameful , i 'm so sorry , i ca n't help it i ca n't help it i- `` so .