not only do i relive in my dreams the terror of being hanged by lefievre or nearly being burned alive by reverend mather , but now the slaughter of trafalgar presses upon my mind as well , and it presses on my mind not only when i have the night dreads , but even in the daytime , when i let myself dwell upon it-the arms thrusting through the ports of the redoubtable , arms made bloody from my sword held in my hand , which was piercing them , through flesh and touching bone .