chapter 44 james emerson fletcher about to abandon boston and jacky faber forever journal entry , august 3 , 1809 , continued having received the crushing blow of j. f. refusing to meet with me or to even acknowledge my presence , and having been informed of her impending whipping at the courthouse this afternoon , i have shaved my face , cut my hair , cleaned out my rooms and caused all my personal belongings to be carried down to the ciudad de lisbon for my possible imminent departure .