i do n't know if it was the tension of the past two days or just hearing some french being spoke , or maybe it was the constant rocking back and forth in the last few days between despair and joy-the despair of not knowing how to read their music and the sheer joy of hearing the beauty of the girls ' chorus , the terror of my first time on a horse and the hope of someday joining the pounding ring of riders-or i do n't know what , but he comes for me again tonight .