i quivers in the dark for hours , huggin ' me knees , and i thinks of mary townsend again and again and the rope across me throttle and the bo'sun droppin ' down on me shoulders to crush me throat and snap me neck , the same picture over and over and over till i 'm whimperin ' out loud , and then i hears the faint bells of the four-to-eight and i go up to stand my watch .