macon ethan i lay my head down on his chest and cried because he had lived because he had died a dry ocean , a desert of emotion happysad darklight sorrowjoy swept over me , under me i could hear the sound but i could not understand the words and then i realized the sound was me , breaking in one moment i was feeling everything and i was feeling nothing i was shattered , i was saved , i lost everything , i was given everything else something in me died , something in me was born , i only knew the girl was gone whoever i was now , i would never be her again this is the way the world ends not with a bang but a whimper claim yourself claim yourself claim yourself claim gratitude fury love despair hope hate first green is gold but nothing green can stay do n't try nothing green can stay t. s. eliot .