`` in my early days as the servant of the bones , as the bitter , angry o-host for the powerful sorcerer , i killed the innocent because it was my master 's will and i thought i had to do it , i thought that the man who had called me up could control me , and i did his bidding , until me moment came when i suddenly realized that i did not have to be a slave forever , that maybe though my soul had been taken from my spirit , and my spirit and soul from my flesh , that perhaps i could still be pleasing to god .