while i was strippin the bed ; while i was takin the shitty mattress pad and the shitty sheets and the shitty pillowslips down to the laundry chute ; while i was scrubbin the floor , and the walls , and the windowpanes ; while i was takin down the curtains and put-tin up fresh ones , while i was makin her bed again ; while i was grittin my teeth n tryin to keep my back locked in place while i cleaned her up n got a fresh nightgown on her n then hossed her outta the chair and back into bed again ( and her not helpin a bit but just bum there in my arms , dead weight , although i know damn well that was one of the days when she could have helped , if she 'd wanted to ) ; while i was warshin the floor ; while i was warshin off her god-dam wheelchair , and really havin t'scrub by then because the stuff was dried on - while i was doin all that , my heart was low and my outlook was darkened .