joshua taking his first steps ... joshua saying car-car and mama , go play with your toys ... joshua going off to school alone for the first time , a tiny , brave figure ... joshua lying in bed with the measles , his body racked with misery ... joshua hitting a home run and winning the game for his team ... joshua sailing ... joshua feeding an elephant at the zoo ... joshua singing shine on , harvest moon on mother 's day ... the memories flowed on , home movies in her mind .