when he had been a small boy , a regular part of his life , so he remembered - possibly inaccurately - had been a frequent trip to the local crematorium to stand around the grave of a recently deceased relative , or friend , usually of his parents , followed by the solemn return to the house of the bereaved , to indulge in nostalgic small talk over a light repast of vol-au-vents , sausage rolls and dry , furled sandwiches , that appeared to be turning up their corners empathetically with the victims turned up toes .