carol poured some water into the dirt and thought , even hard core survivors need to be watered occasionally.she was feeling sorry for herself.a condition she felt had been hard earned.she felt justified.carol stood at the kitchen counter and waited while the water began to run through the coffee grounds.the gurgling sound of the coffeemaker gave re-assurance that help was on the way.she had one more night of drug-induced sleep to look forward to , and then she would be off her medication.the money for the research could not have come at a better time.she wasnt ready to embrace the heartache of pounding the pavement looking for another job just yet.she intended to wallow in her demotion for a while .