fragments of yesterdaywas it yesterday ? swirled in my memory : a much-needed shower ; a change of clothes ( nothing fancier than one of ian 's tee-shirts and a pair of sweat shorts cinched in at the waist so they billowed around my hips like clown pants ) ; a bowl of oatmealsuitably bland for one who 'd not had a real meal in days ( weekshad it really been weeks ?