though attending these informal but standing-invitation-only games for more than a decade , this would etch a sore spot in his memory as one of his all time worst - and to think that he has distinct memories of believing , as he caught the fresh air of a late blooming spring walking there that evening , that somehow if he completely crushed the fellows on this particular occasion and then , say , the next five or six as well , that it would somehow obliterate the river of red ink hed bled into that place .