and maybe i will , as she holds my gaze and holds my arms , as her fingernails dig deep into my flesh , i can feel the flesh break , i can feel my blood ooze out slowly and soak through my white doctors uniform , and maybe i will regret it , she seems different now , harder , more demanding , more extreme , and i feel like i want to touch her , to throw her roughly on the bed , but shes holding me too tight , she holds me , like its never going to end , and then shes gone , turned away , gazing out of the huge window .