the feeling starts in the pit of my stomach , like its eating me , like its vicious , and gradually i can sense it working its way through me , making me want to keel over , making me want to bend over and curl into a ball , making me want to scream , to shout , to kill , to die , please , please , please , stop it , and i can see my left hand , reaching out to him , reaching out to jason , help me , please , help me , but as i look , jasons changing , the rooms changing , the rooms getting darker and colder , and jason , no , hes not jason anymore , his eyes have turned to fire , his hair has become the burning sun , and he talks , no she talks , soft and smooth , live it , dream it , be it and she smiles and her smiles like thunder , her hands are like ice , burning me as they touch me , live forever , live for now she whispers , eat the pain , destroy the pain and jesus mark , fuck im in jasons arms , hes holding me up , pulling me back up to the chair , are you all right , you look like but no , its all right , its all right the pain has gone , im all right , im all right , and jasons got his hand on my shoulder , are you sure ?