nonetheless , some of your attitudes donna knows all this back and forth is just the tangible result of nerves , related to all of their collective futures ; just as when she sneaks up and startles her man by slipping one cold hand under the backside of her mans hooded sweatshirt , skin on skin , on the small of his back , and he jumps , she knows that he is distracted by a certain set of events in the not so distant past .