april 4 , 2012 what do you do when their body tells you no , but your head screams in protest , to know that the sweet scent , of forbiddingness , is calling your name , you could never let it in , never let it win , but that 's so much easier said , then done , look in the mirror , and say that you are pure , that you 've always fought , i 'm willing to bet , you ca n't , or wo n't , give yourself the chance to say your body won out , over your mind , because while i 'm as honest as it comes , i can say that i have , but do n't feel bad about this , we 're called animals , with animalistic urges , for a reason , april 5 , 2012 the human mind , longs for connections , and asked to be loved , what is to be left , when we are deprived , of the emotions that we so wish to find , where does it leave us , when those who we wish , so much to have interaction with , leave us out in the cold , are we better , or worse people , for the lack of interaction , or is it all , just a mind game , made up to show us , that the world , is nothing more than a cold dark place , that we chose to see through our own eyes , april 6 , 2012 i was lost , in the shadows of a world , that asked not to know me , then you came along , and helped me learn , there is such a thing as love , and you helped me learn , that you do n't have to be perfect , to be somebody , because of you i am becoming a better person , every day , with you , i can do anything , without out you , i am nothing , april 7 , 2012 the sun is my motivator , my distraction , my contractor , it gives me hope , where there is none , gives me smiles , when i 'm down , gives me everything i need , to feel like something is being done , but at night , when the sun has gone away , the demons lurk in , to strip away the motivation , and i ca n't even move , that harnessed ability , to do nothing , sticks with me , while the sun is down , i can just hope , that i can make it til sunrise , april 8 , 2012 the book tells you to celebrate , and the calendar says that you should , get up , go to church , and celebrate the resurrection , but let me ask you a simple question , why ca n't we celebrate in our homes , in fact , if we are to follow the god of our choice , why does it have to be in the confines of a church , can you tell me that if i do n't go to church , and celebrate with your kind , that i 'm no better then you , can you say that makes sense , when your god , loved us all , am i the hellion you believe i am , you 'll never know , which i 'm fine with , because in my mind , i 'm as good as i need to be , and the fact that you want nothing more than to treat me bad , then that 's fine , because come the day , we 'll see whos the real one of the group , because truth be told , if i 'm not good enough in his eyes , then i 'm willing to bet money , that youre not either .