april 26 , 2012 i 've spent the last two days , contemplating , what 's to come next for me , i 've debated everything , from life , to the works , to relationships , what is there beyond the closed door , that 's worth taking the risk for , i am aiming my sights high , and what it 's given me , is something to look forward to , the more i questioned myself , and everything around me , the more i realized , that i wanted , and needed something , that was more , then there was already , my heart is set free , and i feel good , knowing that the open door , that stands before me , will give me , a whole different view on life , and the view that i see , is a view that i truly love , april 27 , 2012 tick tock , tick tock , goes the clock , as it counts downward , on it 's almost ending spiral , as it finally sets me free , i 'd never believe it , so hard to think this much , but as it turns out , it is , my head , feels as if , it 's going to explode , it screams , that it wants no more , but to be let go , from the prison , that it 's in , all i can say is soon enough , soon enough , it will finally be over , finally be behind me , april 28 , 2012 the tower , calls my name , and beckons me forward , it begs me for my help , and tells me that all will be lost , if something is n't done , but it 's hard to believe it , when it 's only a dream , but it still beckons , dire consequences , that everything hinges , on its safety , but i wo n't listen , for it would be mad , to take the advice , of an inanimate object , i will continue to be who i want to be , and care little for this building , for it 's nothing to me , other than the skyline that makes up my mind , the building can crumble , and come down around me , and i wo n't be worried , because i know even from that rubble , i will find sanity , safety , and other things , that will make life go on , april 29 , 2012 the days have went by so slowly , and finally i see the finish line , i have taken the steps , to secure it , and make sure that it 's mine , 24 hours , and the end will be here , and within that 24 hours , i can say that i did it , and finished the challenge , that i sat out for myself , thank you for the strength , but i can tell you , i wo n't ever be the same , after this , april 30 , 2012 i 'm starting to see things , it 's not feeling to good , my head is spinning , and the images before me , keep calling my name , i made the finish line , but at what cost , the tower kept calling to me , and maybe i should have listened , because now , that i 've managed something , so spectacular , i feel its time to rest , but from this rest , i doubt i ever awaken , for it 's taken all of it away , and left me with the blank skyline , had i listened all those weeks ago , this would never have happened , this is me saying goodbye for now , maybe forever , love , peace , and safety , will hopefully , finally be mine .