these were words that were repeated , and keep being repeated in my head , as i stand in the air , unable to believe what 's in front of me , my brain wants to process what 's happened , but it 's hard , because its not like me , emotion has never been my strong suit , but then again , neither has rejection the world stopped spinning , when you first said hello to me , the smile , that face , everything about that moment seemed perfect , i could never put my finger on it , but from that day on , things seemed to be like a dream , one that i refused to wake up from , not because i did n't want to , but because i could n't , because it was real , my dreams , my prayers had been answered , finally , and things would never be the same again , the air is still cold , i see my reflection in the window , it looks so much older then i felt , so much older than i was only a few short hours ago , i have been to hell already , and punched my ticket for eternal damnation , the devil welcomed me with open arms , but considering what had been done , what was done , and where i was , i was perfectly okay with that , our first kiss , was magical , was something spectacular , it moved the world , the planet seemed suspended between us , for that split second , everything that was in motion stopped , even my heart , the sweat built , and the steam rolled , it was something , that anyone would be jealous of , in fact i 'd bet , most people were , because that look in our eyes , set us apart , that look , that told the story of two people in love , that look of beauty , that look that said , we had it all , that look , that told the story of us , i looked down , the sight still terrified me , i could n't believe it , even in the light under the moon , the image , was horrific enough , to encourage me to give up , but my head told me that it was n't worth it , i had come this far , and had done so much , that walking away now , would mean that it 's all in vain , then again , is n't fighting death , things moved fast with us , a lot faster than i expected , we were spending nights together , weekends , and going on trips , it was as if my soul mate had found me , and i had found her , then it happened , we were together , and our kissing , lead to more , then more , and finally there was , no turning back , it was hot , heavy , and intense , it was good enough , it could have been featured in any erotic book , and at the end , i could n't put words into how i felt , it was something that i will remember , until the day i die , i crouched down , and stared at my handy work , i knew that it was wrong , i knew that i had crossed the line , but thinking about it now , they had it coming , disagree all you want , but the truth remains , she left me , it was unfair , so i put her down , i knew what had to be done , to finish what i started , i grabbed the shovel out of our barn and buried her , in our field , to this day , they still do n't know , what happened , they think they can pin it on me , but this time , i got away with it , though i had n't expected , what i received in the end , i now have a permanent companion in my room , as she haunts me for what i 've done , but she wo n't get to me , because i know now , that we 'll be together , forever viral we 've done it .