the vessel full of memories welcome aboard let 's take it all in , everything so well preserved , in the words of poetry , so well written , that it now begs to be read , that 's where you come in , my new best friend , the reader , of the strange new possession , that is this book , i could tell you how much it tore me apart , to share with you the words , and the memories that i have , within these pages but should i do that , you 'll know more than enough , that maybe you 'll debate on walking away , that maybe you 'll put this down , and decide that this is n't for you , and i do n't want to lose you , so early on , i would love to let you in , on a few secrets , but of course , i wo n't share it all within the first pages , because , i ca n't let you in too much right here , after all this is the beginning , there 's so much more than this , wrapped up and bound , in the pages of this collection , it 's a promise , as twisted as this will sound , i want to promise you that this book , will be something you 've never seen before , and it 's likely that you may never see something like it again , this book will take you down dark alleys , where you should have packed a gun , it will take you down well lit hallways , where good will triumph over evil , and then there are other places , these places are so deep , so dark that trying to put , the essence of those pages into words themselves , could very well be impossible , but not completely so , you 've noticed that the title of this book , more than memories i 'm sure , and there 's a just reason , why i would put such words on the front , and that reason is so very simple , more than memories fits , so well , because the book that you now possess , is full of memories , full of insight , here 's to hoping that you enjoy it , and consider this an opening shot , that 's being fired , because i 'll warn you now , youre in for a hell of a ride ... . ghetto girl the door slams shut , as she lifts herself off the bed , for the umpteenth time , the bruises around her eyes , starting to swell , she walks to the mirror behind her door , a mirror that 's told her story for years , and she touches her face , she feels the bruises , swelling faster and faster , she 'd like to think back to a simpler time , one when her life was n't so bad , but she ca n't , her life has been hell since she can remember , and it only continues to get worse , she sits back on the bed , her face bruised , beaten and battered , her insides scared from the abuse , living in the hell she has been , downstairs the screams echo upward , her drug induced mom , screaming slurs , claiming that this shit hole is below her , but that 's a nightly rant for her mom , her dad yells , in his alcohol induced rage , that the world does n't put her on a pedestal , from above our girl listens , and is scared , the footsteps come back up the stairs , in her head she knows what 's coming next , it 's the never ending cycle of abuse , verbal , physical , sexual , it 's how her dad always gets when he 's drinking , the door bust open , and before she can stop it the hand is at her mouth , and he forces her to the bed , she cries inside , but it 's been like this for nearly four years , after he 's done he gets up , taps her chest and thanks her , before stumbling out of the room , she cries herself to sleep , praying for a better tomorrow , school is no better , people just do n't seem to care , she keeps to herself , as she walks the hallways , only wishing that she had a friend , she sees everyone in their happiest of moods , and wishes that was her , that she could live the life , of someone who managed to be , beautiful , the abuse continues , as the months roll by , some weeks it 's so much worse than the others , she does n't know how to make it stop , does n't know how to make it go away , then one day as sunlight shines , on her dim and dark world , a friend comes along , wanting to help her , but even this path will be a dark one , at first it seems like a great idea , leaving home to be with her new friend , but soon she learns that there 's more to this , then meets the eye , that night she gets her first taste of the underworld , first it 's the joints , with the smoke swirling ever higher , it takes her places , where her problems do n't exist she did n't think a place like that was real , but soon it 's not enough , and she learns that there are other things , to hide away the pain , and the nightmares , so she asks for more , next comes the spoons , melted and polluted , with cocaine , her heart leaps at the chance , to escape ever further , but as she climbs higher , so does her tolerance , as it all loses its effects , i need more she cries , as she 's gotten used to a world with no pain , next in swirling despair , comes the needle , one so trivial and evil , that she does n't even realize , what 's about to happen , the heroin takes hold , and spins her out of control , further and further it goes , she ca n't stop it now , as her heart feels the greatest it 's ever felt , she feels like life ca n't get any better , everything she 's wanted , right at her finger tips , an escape only ever , a phone call away , time ticks by , and soon her body begins to turn , but that internal fire , was something she never bargained for , and she wants to escape again , they told her it was the be all , end all , and that she would never feel , this great again , they told her she had to try , so away she went , into a world that was so dark , that no light could save her , but she felt great , greater than ever in fact , the meth took hold , and further out of control , she could n't stop herself , and in her mind she said , that she did n't want to , but with her , as reality always seems to do , came crashing down around her one night , the phone rang , and her freedom was gone , her friend had found herself on the wrong end of a bust , jail time was a sure thing , she had learned that from her time in the underworld , but the worst part was now she had no one , all the junkies they knew , were n't her friends at all , so she went back to the torment and torture , of everyday life , continual abuse , and put up with it she did , until withdrawal caught up with her , she heard the arguing , hours in advance , and knew he was drunk again , she had taken time earlier while they were out , to plan for just such the event , he came up the stairs , and threw open the door , he was already trying to come at her , when she pulled the trigger , once , twice , and a third , all the shots rang out , loud and angry , and with each one she felt , more liberated , then the last , she rolled his body off to the side , and spit directly in his face , that now lifeless face , it felt so , so good , but there was more to be done , she walked downstairs , and felt the smoke hit her nose , but it did n't affect her anymore , she was far beyond that of weed , instead she reacted as if nothing was there , she walked down through the kitchen , to where her mom was sitting , as our girl came through the door , her mother 's eyes were wide , with the last words she ever heard , you dirty little cunt how could you , let him do that to his own daughter , are you proud you little whore , i sure as hell hope so because soon , you 'll both be rotting in hell together , she pulled the trigger , once , twice , a third time , every shot freeing her more than the last , in her heart she felt relieved , the pain could finally stop , oh but not yet her mind told her , she knew what she had to do , she placed the gun on the table , and prepared for her final task , she secured the rope tight , and put the chair in place , fear had never been her strong suit , as she prepared for the end , she knew that this would make it all go away , she left a note in case anyone cared to look , not that she thought they would , she simply scribbled in her little handwriting , they said they would look out for me and lied , today is the day this nightmare i call a life ends .