as he flat lines , they rush out the vaccine , the records show , that when it was all said and done , that only 20,000 people remained , in the entire country , the graves were so large , they did n't even get marked , the world is in chaos but slowly , working it 's way back to it 's former self , maybe one day the kids can be happy , that life as they know it wo n't be over , then again there 's always , another plague , waiting to devour us , right around the corner pain he wonders if he 'll ever be okay , inside he knows the truth , but he 'll never speak it , never , it would make him give up all the hope , that he 's held onto for so long , and then what would he have , nothing left in himself but thoughtless words , of quacks and psycho-florescent screwballs , they all know there 's something there , something wrong , but nobody wants to take a look at the bigger picture , and why , because no one gives a damn enough , finally it all begins , to torture his soul , just enough , to become a black cloud , on an already sunless day , he does n't know , exactly how to try and put it , into perspective , for people to understand , what it 's like to live like this , like there 's nothing worth fighting for , because all fighting will do is take out , the power you still hold , but he knows , exactly what its like , and he 's tired of trying to help people understand , that he does n't need them , why need someone when they wo n't be there for you , he understands this , as the tears fall , the days become longer for him , as he slowly starts to fall apart , he knows he does n't have the world , left in front of him , the way that he used to , the moving becomes slower , more difficult , life 's easiest tasks , become the stuff of torture , he does n't care , what he has to do , he wants it all to end , then he sees the faces of his family , around him , and he realizes that he does n't , want to let go , but he knows that it 's the only way , to be able to escape this hell , that life has created for him , he sits home at night , and contemplates his options , but there 's only one real answer , that doorway , the doorway , the one opened to him through medicine , that 's all the stuff really did , and he knows that , he saw the world that could be opened to him , through stepping off the edge , the rain begins to fall down around him , everyone 's left for the day , to different places , no one knows what he 's planning , but he does n't care , he likes it that way , he 'll go out of this world , just as quickly , as he came into it , he finds his gun , sitting on the headboard , and checks to see if it 's loaded , sure enough it has to be , he steps back , and tells the world goodbye , with the pop of the shell , he lets himself fall to the floor , bloody , and dying , he clinches his fist , and breathes in his last breath , slowly watching , the world go down around him , taking in the finality , of the world , that he 's just left , saying goodbye to his family , to all his friends , to his child , to his mother , to all those that were there , but he realizes , almost instantly , that the pain , is leaving his body , and that 's enough gratification , of it all , he realizes that he made the right decision , at least in his eyes , as he feels his body begin to free up , and he says to himself , it 's good to be free , though he knows his family will never understand , he made the right decision for him , and for that he 's grateful to himself , for being able to say goodbye to a world , that locked him prisoner within his own body , and say hello to a world that welcomes him , pain free , the only problem , is that this world , is a little hotter than the one he left behind , the 7th circle railway small towns have secrets .