more than memories the wind has picked up , i can feel the air to my back as i press the sands between my toes , the water , laps calmly against the shore , but this serenity , has n't always been here , has n't always kept me safe , those waves , and that wind , at one point was the point of no return , and they were determined to take me , to places i never wanted to go , but i managed to find the resolve , and i 'm proud , in a twisted way , that i could turn around and make such a person , come out of me , but is n't that what they always say , that when your back is against the wall , that your body will turn in on itself , and do what needs to be done , i believe that now , but as i look into the stars , and the full moon overhead , and as that warm wind presses faster to my back , i remember those times , it 's something that happens every so often , it 's like yesterday continues to haunt me ... life has a funny way of dealing us cards , we decide the ones we will play , and the ones we hold , she was that card that i wanted to hold , no matter the cost , i wanted to hold on for life , she was like nothing you 'd ever seen , brown hair , neon green eyes , skin so soft , and everything about her was perfect , her smile warmed everything around her , and to top it off , she loved me .