and so in this way his thoughts bounced through christmas : hope , hopeless ; or hed sift through his memory in every moment he had free between the children excitedly opening their presents and smiling and kissing him on one cheek in thanks ; the cracker hed pulled with veruschka that almost knocked the candles off of the table and sent the boys into fits of laughter ; ebans attempt at singing nol that was so raucous and out of tune that a neighbour started banging on the wall , jol by now convulsed with laughter which ended in a heavy coughing fit searching for something , anything , that he might have missed .