i ponder my future , and wonder where it is that i should be , how i got to where i am , and what it is that is left to do , i have driven every moment up to this , and now , i feel on top of the world , and my world , is only getting sweeter , and i 'm getting somewhere , making a bit of headway , if i had to say , what i think is behind door number 1 , i would be willing to bet , that is , the life i 've dreamed of , and that day , is something i ca n't wait for , april 12 , 2012 the clouds block out the sun , and the storm is rolling in , i feel so alone sometimes , that the room i block myself in , will never let me out , i want out , i want to find a way , to let the demons ' out of my head , they keep screaming , and asking for more , of me , but i keep fighting , and it keeps screaming , and when the days end , and i lay to sleep , the thoughts that flood my head , keep showing me things , that i do n't want to see , demons , dead girls , and blood running down the walls , they wo n't ever let me go , they wo n't ever let me run , so when the sun comes up tomorrow , if i 'm here , then life will go on , if i 'm not here , then you 'll know , that they have won , and i wo n't be bothered , by the voices , anymore , april 13 , 2012 the fear will always be in me , and i will always know its name , because it refuses to leave me be , it calls my name in the dark , and whispers to me in my sleep , it only comes around twice a year , but that 's because they 're only allowed out then , he makes the most of his time though , hanging from the ceilings , sitting on the dresser , and laughing at me as i tremble in fear , but one day , i will find the will to escape , the clutches of madness , but he swears they make me great , i swear they drive me insane , but fight as i try , they hold me in place , they chase me , and hunt me down , for today is their christmas , and on friday the 13th , the children will come out to play once more , their faces laughing , as he tortures me , i will fight , but in the end , it 's only 24 hours , when they leave , i will be at peace again , except for the voices and images , they leave in my head april 14 , 2012 the winds change directions , and the clouds block my thoughts , the storms are my enemy , and keep my locked inside my home , the rain , beats down on the doors , and wants in , but i wo n't open it , and i refuse to let the rain ruin my life , the thunder claps louder , and things , get worse , i will step back from the windows , and hide , rain , rain , go away , no matter how i try , you do n't hide the pain april 15 , 2012 from bow to stern , her elegance , and beauty was unmatched , no one could suspect , that deep in her halls , the stench of death , and fear would soon engulf , everyone on board but not yet , as she sets sail , with the ocean , under her , things go slowly , but smoothly at first , then out of nowhere , the call , iceburg dead ahead , it rings out like a death threat , issued from a faceless demon , there is no changing direction , no changing speeds , they turn slowly , and only side swipe , but in the end that 's enough , and she begins to fill with water , and within hours , the ship begins to fall , tilting upward , as thousands scream on board , most realize it 's the end , and kiss the few they have , goodbye , when the water finally takes over , and the screams have all calmed , the 710 survivors find shelter on a passing boat , while the remaining 1500 perished , their souls left forever to haunt the seas , aboard a hailing mistress , known as the rms titanic april 16 , 2012 the sirens wail in the distance , he looks up from the direction he came , and looks down at his handy work , it was n't the first , and wo n't be the last , in his sick game of murder , he started long ago , and they 're still too far away , though the sirens signal , that it 's too close for comfort right now , he 'll leave , the sirens behind , and let them think they have closed the distance , because as long as he 's right in the head , he will always control the game , that he and the police , will continue to play april 17 , 2012 the visions , made by the water , and the colors of the life inside of it , it makes me realize that we as the people we are , only a small piece of a much bigger pie , we have become so absorbed in what it is we do , that we never stop to enjoy the life we have created for ourselves , and stare into the distance and wonder , what life would be like if situations had never presented themselves , what i want to know is this , where would you be had you never answered the call of opportunity , or realized that you had never done more then you thought was possible , you reach up and do a number of things , to make yourself better , but what if you had never done these things , what i believe you would have then , is someone who is ordinary , and had never reached the potential they had , how would you feel if that were you ?