before i went i had the feeling , one more drawing needed to be done , and so i did that final drawing , it detailed stairs that led to the top , and a light that called to me , and i thought , this is where the tower wanted me to go , so i went toward it , knowing that inside my destiny , wanting to find the power , inside that light , was something that i need , that without i 'd never be complete , i walked forward into the doorway , it was quiet , empty , and hallowed , i felt my footsteps echo around me off the floor , each one telling a new story , it had taken so long to get the courage , and now i felt at home in the watchtower , i walked through the lobby , it was lit up bright all around , i looked around and the doors were carved with stone , and engravings each different from the one before , the door handles all appeared to be gold , each had names i could n't pronounce , i walked forward toward the center of the room , there a tapestry carved in gold sat , it looked like a woman with unmatched beauty , seemed to be upset and crying , her eyes made of red rubies , seemed to call out in pain , i stared at it as long as i could , for something told me that girl had a story , that i had ended , for she was a favorite to the tower , maybe i was n't supposed to end her , but i 'd do anything to be noticed again , i walked past the statue without looking back , though i could swear the head turned and followed me , her cold red eyes were on my back , burning a hole through me like i 'd thought impossible , i did n't let it stop me as i walked across the room , my prize was just up ahead , the gate in that covered stairwell was also gold , and plated in diamonds , the security measures for the stairwell , were like none other i 'd ever seen , i stared in disbelief for a moment , finally feeling how close i was to greatness , to the left there was a keypad , with numbers on it , in 3 rows , labeled 1 to 9 , i stared for a moment , before the memories started to flood , my mind showed me visions of the drawings , and the dreams i 'd had , all of them had numbers in an order , i never remembered accessing them before then , but all of a sudden the numbers were right in front of me , 7-2-1-8-0-3 then and now , the numbers made no sense to me , to me they were random and meant nothing , but they worked at opening the gate , the gold peeled back slowly , but surely to reveal a doorway to my new life , once the gate lifted back , i began to climb upward , upward and further upward , it felt like miles but finally at the end , mere feet above me i saw the light , the light of the watchtower shone down on me , i walked into the room , my footsteps suddenly stop echoing , and i 'm blinded by the light , i shield my eyes , and finally once i become adjusted , the hell sets in , in front of me stands a man , taller than any i 'd ever seen , and much more angry looking , he steps up and opens his arms , and welcomes me home , but the watchtower is n't the home he 's talking about , i 'm rushed and feel arms and hands wrap around me , they tell me that my drawings were nothing more than a mind trick , and i 'm unhealthy for the population , they say there 's so much more i need to know , but now is n't the time , as i 'm forced back down the stairs , they stow me into the back of a van , the man climbs inside and joins me , i asked him what was going on , he laughed at me and said soon enough , we drove away and out of the back glass , the watchtower was on fire , they took me to a building , they called a hospital , i 've been here for how long i 'm not sure , but i 've heard a lot of their lies since they brought me here , they started with the watchtower , by telling me it was n't real , they said it was a figment of my mind , i started seeing years ago , after being put into a foster home , because of my parents double suicide , they could n't pinpoint a reason , but they said the watchtower was my parents in my mind , they said that the attention i had always longed for from them , i received from the tower , the affection that i needed from them , i received from the tower , that in fact the watchtower never existed , and that i burned it to the ground , the woman however was a different story , she was very real , in fact she happened to be my biological sister , that had been adopted some years before , they thought that my murdering her , was my minds way of expressing jealousy , they also added i did it , because she had parents now , it 's hard for me to believe that , but i meant what i did , the watchtower told me too , but the watchtower is no more , i watched it burn to the ground , but soon enough i will join it , i intend to end this nowt i will join the tower in the form of ash , to hell is where i 'm going , let me say goodbye for now , the fires already burning ... . a heart full of lead i love you .