i wanted to leave the worse half of me at home , but i could n't do that , ( of course you could n't ) that voice seems to get deeper and deeper with every word , it ca n't be my imagination , ( or could it be exactly that ) the water keeps calling out to me so sweetly , i do n't know how much longer i can resist , but the journey is almost over , i will be there soon , weeks passed for us , and everything seemed to be wonderful , the world was spinning , and we were in love , it 's something that i had never really planned on , but it happened , and that 's one thing , i would never change , the days ticked happily , fall to winter , winter to spring , spring to summer , and back around again , i worked hard to repay my bad debts , but it seemed i could never get ahead , and all the while she was supportive , i wanted her to go away , in case things had changed , but as it turns out she had other plans , she wanted to go nowhere , and nothing i could say was going to change that , i worked , and worked , then suddenly one day , she was gone , no phone calls , no messages , no way to know where she went , 3 days of uncertainty passed me , then another letter came , this time in her handwriting , i only knew because of the hearts on either end , of the note which read , paid in full , i could n't help myself , i collapsed , and cried , what could they have done with her , to her , i could n't be sure , but one way or another i intended to find out , the sand is warm on my pants , then again why would n't it be , is n't it always warm this time of year , i looked at the sky again , the moon was over three-quarters of its journey through the sky , my journey was also almost to a close , and i would soon find what i was after , so i kept walking , the water still called me soon enough , ( or not soon enough depending on what your thoughts are ) my thoughts are corroded by something i do n't understand ( you do n't understand me because i do n't want you to ) but i do n't need you , ( quite the contrary , if it were n't for me , you 'd never be out here ) this is true , but does that mean it 's a good thing , ( you seem to think so ) so i walked a little further , then the glimmer caught my eye , i was almost there , and soon it would all be over , soon enough i told the water once more , and walked on , weeks passed , the beach became my home , it helped me keep my mind clear , and remain optimistic , and in a way i was pulled there , by something i could n't see , but i still went , i tried , and continued to hope , until finally , they found what had called me , on a hot sunny afternoon , i sat on the beach , and something made me start walking , i do n't know how far i went , before i realized there were people on the beach , i walked up and joined the crowd , i walked through the crowd to the front , and that 's when all went black , i hit my knees , and stuck my hand out , the stone was cold under my fingers , i traced out her name , and the dates , and that blackout comes rushing back , all the images come back , i see her body , being dug out of the sand , from over four feet down , her chest was caved in , from pressure , i do n't know how this is here , ( i do ) but it 's there , all those images , i knew it was a mistake then , and now as i remember everything , i know that things should have went differently , but there 's only the present , and how i want to fix this , i rubbed the stone , and looked into the ocean , ( it 's time ) stop pushing me into things , ( you are only tempting yourself ) stop playing games , ( games are nothing to me , you came here with a purpose , now fulfill it , ) i pulled the gun from my pocket , the world would be better now , she 's gone , and now , i placed the gun in my mouth , i would be too , ( and you can play in the water ) the water always was calling my name .