tv programs presenting close-up corpse images , uncensored broadcasting bodies of killed kurdish militants , the soldiers who were proud of cutting the ears of militants on the mountain and showing photographs of terrorists cut-ears ; the murders by unknown assailants , the normalized rapes , bursting bottled gases , lynching and massacring , putting any kind of brutal fantasies into words without hesitate despite of our loneliness , lacking of confidence and knowing the fear like we know our name , we always went to this park just shoot the ball and to sweat .