because it would have sounded mad to have told her the truth : that hed watched her from across the room , at the funeral , and noticed the way shed hung back out of everyones way , as if shed been a gate-crasher rather than the daughter of the deceased ; and he found it endearing the way she kept nervously pushing her hair behind her ears ; and hed found himself wondering what it would be like to have that long hair fall all over his face .