i do n't know how much time passes with us just lying there , just feeling that the other is really there , really true , really alive , feeling the safety of him , his weight against mine , the roughness of his fingers touching my face , his warmth and his smell and the dustiness of his clothes , and we barely speak and his noise is roiling with feeling , with complicated things , with memories of me being shot , of how he felt when he thought i was dying , of how i feel now at his fingertips , but at the front of it all , he 's just saying , viola , viola , viola .