we looked at each other and time folded in on itself , the time we had lost in blood and the time we had purchased in blood , the time when i was just the bossy big sister and he was the annoying little brother , the time when i was the thing worth living for and he was the thing worth dying for , and then he crumpled into my arms , the bear smushed between us the way we were trapped between the before-time and the after-time .