in his voice and my own- twisted together- right in the centre of my head- `` eff off , '' i try to shout- but my voice is weirdly quiet- and- and- and i look up- and i feel calmer- like the world is clearer and slower- and a spackle breaks thru where two soldiers have separated- and he raises his white stick at me- and i 'm gon na have to do it- ( killer- ) ( yer a killer- ) i 'm gon na have to shoot him before he shoots me- and i raise my gun- davy 's gun that i took from him- and i think , oh , please , as i put my finger on the trigger- oh , please , oh , please , oh , please- and- snick- i look down in shock .