well , i ca n't hear it , that 's the whole point , but when i run towards it the emptiness of it is touching my chest and the stillness of it pulls at me and there 's so much quiet in it , no , not quiet , silence , so much unbelievable silence that i start to feel really torn up , like i 'm about to lose the most valuable thing ever , like there it is , a death , and i 'm running and my eyes are watering and my chest is just crushing and there 's no one to see but i still mind and my eyes start crying , they start crying , they start effing crying , and i stop for a minute and i bend over and jesus h dammit , you can just shut up right now , but i waste a whole stupid minute , just a whole stinking , stupid minute bent over there , by which time , of course , the hole is moving away , it 's moved away , it 's gone .