i am todd hewitt , i think , which is a mistake , cuz here comes all of it back , falling on me , dragging me down and the spackle 's blood and viola 's face frightened of me and aaron coming outta the woods and taking her- i start to weep but the pain from the grip of the weep is so bad that for a minute i feel paralysed and a living fire burns thru my arms and back and there 's nothing to do but suffer it till it goes .