`` yer alive , '' he says , and he is so relieved , so happy , to see me in the middle of all that death where i am alone and alone and alone for ever , he is so happy that i vow to kill him- and then he asks me about his own one in particular- asking if , among all the killing of my own kind , i have seen one of his- and my vow becomes unbreakable- i show him i will kill him- in the weakness of my returning voice , i show him i will kill him- and i will- i will do it now , i will do it right now- you are safe , says a voice- i am on my feet , my fists swinging in panic .