[ todd ] i fire my gun but there 's so many spackle and men mixed together i have to aim high to make sure i do n't hit none of my own side and cuz of that i do n't hit no spackle neither and one is suddenly in front of me raising a white stick to angharrad 's head and i swing the barrel of the gun round and hit the spackle hard behind his too-high ear and he falls and another one is already right there and it 's grabbing my arm and i 'm thinking viola right into its face and it stumbles back and there 's a rip at my opposite sleeve and an arrow 's flown right thru it and just misses going into the soft spot underneath my jaw and i 'm pulling angharrad 's reins to turn her cuz there ai n't no way outta this alive and we got ta run and a soldier gets hit with a blast from a white stick right next to us and a spray of blood covers my face and i turn away not seeing where i 'm going and i 'm pulling angharrad with me and all i can think , all i can think in the middle of so much noise , all i can think as i hear men die and spackle die and see them die in noise even with my eyes shut , all i can think is- is this what war is ?