glad as i was to see jenny-and gladder still to see her extend an olive branch in my direction-i really wanted to go up to my room , close the door , and lean against the wall with my eyes shut tight , reliving the seconds after he 'd entered the room , when he 'd taken me in his arms and pressed me to the wall , kissing me , the simple , solid , warm fact of his presence so overwhelming that i might have collapsed onto the floor without that wall 's support .