i ride after him , gun up , but not shooting , just watching and feeling- feeling the thrill of it- cuz that 's it- that 's the nasty , nasty secret of war- when yer winning- when yer winning , it 's ruddy thrilling- the spackle are running back up the hill , climbing over the rubble and running- running away from us- and i raise my gun- and i aim it at the back of a running spackle- and my finger 's on the trigger- and it 's ready to pull- and the spackle stumbles over the body of another spackle , but it ai n't just one body , it 's two , it 's three- and then the smoke is clearing and i 'm seeing more , i 'm seeing bodies everywhere , men and spackle and horned creachers- and i 'm back in the monastery , back where the spackle bodies were piled up- and it do n't feel so thrilling no more- `` chase them up the hill ! ''