i will have my revenge- i will make the knife hurt like i do- i will- i will do it now- and- and- and i begin to roar- rising up through my voice and out into the world , a roar of my whole self , my whole voice , my every feeling and scar , my every wound and hurt , a roar of my memories and my lostness , a roar for my one in particular- a roar for myself- a roar for my weakness- because- i can not do it- i can not do it- i am as bad as the knife himself .