and i turn my head anyway even tho i do n't want to but sometimes you get caught off guard and so i turn my head and there 's mr hammar in his window , looking right at me and one month , he thinks , and there 's a picture from his noise and it involves me standing on my own but somehow even more alone than that and i do n't know what it means or if it 's real or if it 's a purposeful lie and so i think about a hammer going into mr hammar 's head over and over and he just smiles from his window .