my heart ratchets up and i cough without even noticing and i say , `` please , please , please , '' under my breath and i paddle the board furiously and get the boat closer and closer to the river 's edge and i stand and leap out into the water and i fall on my rump but i still catch the front of the boat in my hands and `` please , please , please '' and i get up and i drag the boat far enough up the riverbank and i let go and i run and stumble and run to viola viola viola- `` please , '' i say as i run , my chest clenching and coughing and hurting , `` please . ''