i just agreed , and pushed away the sudden resurgence of the guilt i sometimes felt at night , when i began to wonder as i drifted off if every person i had killed or had a hand in killing had truly deserved to die , when i began to realize that we killed indiscriminately , though we tried to make sure it was only their soldiers , but some of their soldiers were twelve and thirteen years old , and i had seen those kids dead , dead at my hands i had broached the subject to her once when we were at home in luna moors .