it was not my fault or jamess fault or even adams fault that the world was so terrible , and that as a result of its general awfulness , penny had seen , in her dreams of the end of earth , her first home utterly destroyed in fire , water , and waste , her second home in fiery ruins , and her third overrun by crazed religious zealots who treated her like an animal by herding her onto a prison ship with the other children who could not be saved .