sobs choked out of me , because he was not moving anymore , and i knew that if i opened my eyes , they would find his , and with every plea , they would search for some sign of warmth there but would find nothing but ice , but death he was dead , james was dead , my love was dead and adam was roaring , struggling to break the hold of the vines around his wrists , struggling against the grip of the six men who were dropping their substantial weights onto his back to keep him from me , to make him watch as they put a bullet through the back of my head .