odeen held himself back desperately , letting his own substance flow through dua and into tritt an atom at a time ; holding away from the overpowering penetrance of dua with every bit of strength ; not giving himself up to the ecstasy , but letting it be wrenched from him ; hanging on to his consciousness to the last possible moment ; and then blanking out in one final transport so intense as to feel like an explosion echoing and reverberating endlessly within him .