he knew that in her right state , she would be begging him not to hurt miletus , because those dark wishes would be erased at the sight of miletus pinned down , her eyes closed and tearing , her breaths soft yet fast , her body shaking as she tried to fight the urge to cry , to scream , as she tried to gather the strength to fight he was not as high as violet , but he was high enough that he did not feel the guilt he normally felt .