everything was so bottled and compressed inside of me , and every so often , when i was alone in the house , when inertia set in , and i had nothing to distract mewhen i reached over and felt jamess side of the bed , when i remembered what had happened out in the woods with adam , when i looked at the bruises and cuts from that time that were fading and the cuts on my back that were still so glaring and raw from my fight with the trebestiathat aggressively growing , compressed bubble would be punctured slightly , and i would react with rage or tears .