when i turned my head up so that my chin was rested on my hands , i was gripped by the strong urge to kiss his cheek over and over again , and in between each kiss , to whisper to him that i was so sorry , that i knew no words could absolve his pain , that i understood it perfectly instead , i opted only to offer useless condolences , with none of the other aforementioned showings of emotional support and concern that were bred from my still-alive romantic attachment to him .