i stared at him , seeing not his face but her hands , with the perfectly manicured nails , the veins protruding on the backs not unattractively , the light ring of skin one could always see when she took off her wedding band , which happened every night when she first came home from work i closed my eyes and allowed my mind to fall back into the past even further ; i watched her face contort behind the screen that left it completely unfocused , and i heard her cries , so soft , so delicate , so different from the loud , boisterous , babyish ones she had always made when she was drunk .