beside this , i live that way since i was eighteen years old , that i feel to be mine , it only doesnt come by itself , and i only at home dare to imitate that sixteen-year-old cast since i was twelve years old , and when m at other place , i imitate two twenty-four-year-old girls who have styles i like , one of them through one week , other of them trough other one week in moving , walking , looking and speaking .