because a moment of weakness took hold of me then , and because i believed , despite the sheer impossibility of it that she might have survived , that someone might have pulled her out of the burning building , revived her , and then taken her hostage , given my new position and how important she was to me , i ran after her , putting space between myself and the village even though i knew , beyond any doubt that could possibly excuse my stupidity , that straying too far would mean that i would almost certainly meet my death .