a part of him got frustrated , and i did not know if it was because our relationship had turned into a chaste one against our wills and he had no outlet for his hormones , or whatever you wish to call them , or if he was frustrated that i would not confide in him , but that frustration was there ; i could read it in his mind and perceive it in the house around us , like it was a silent , stalking apparition that no chant or prayer could exorcise .