and when the news came to him through maura that the baby was gone , he pictured her bleeding out on her living room floor , surrounded by blood and tissue and insides , and she deserved it , because he knew , more surely than he had ever known anything , that she had killed luc as revenge that i had killed luc as revenge for them exposing me to michael , for letting him rape me my eyes shot open , and i was sobbing in adams arms because he had been holding me as i dreamed .