i was in shock , not just at maura 's disembodied voice 's support of adam , whom she had feared and hated in life simply because of the side she had chosen and the lies she had been told , but at the fact that she was right , perhaps not in terms of the degree of comparison ( meaning likening the connection i had just felt with adam when we looked at one another with the connection i had been painstakingly building with james for a year ) but definitely in terms of validity .