he stared at her , in an instant that must have seemed forever forced to endure the horror of himself and what he had been ; in that moment , she felt certain his soul had been immersed in the hell of understanding , of understanding the full effects of all he had done , the hell of knowing and regretting all that had been , for she herself also passed through that cathartic fire of knowledge ; and then , after that eternal , suspended moment , the pain was gone .