the only reason the beard is in good shape is because it was protected by someone , probably a psycho-fan of mine who came all the way here to get one of my books autographed and then decided he might as well live here ; no governments or anything pushing him around after all , so he tried to fashion a society of sorts , started making roads and signs and transportation and beard-protection facilities guarded by the looped recordings of faraway shrieking demons and -- enough !