thankfully , the crime rate in the town was so low , so virtually non-existent , that glenda davis ' gossip never truly even reached defcon 3 status ( mrs roberts liked to brand her gossip thus , perceiving that a defcon 5 would get most people in the town murmuring and raising an eyebrow , while a defcon 1 would provoke genuine outrage throughout ) and now , deliciously , st. davids had a genuine , honest-to-god defcon 1 criminal event , and it was she who knew all about it .