and f**k because mrs. van der meer is downstairs walking her dog and he does n't want to make small talk with her , but they do and he introduces allyson , and mrs. van der meer wants to talk to her about her trip to california back in 1991 and willem has to position allyson in front of him because it is like being twelve-years-old again , the lack of self control he has , but also at least with allyson standing in front of him , against him , it 's bearable ( and it is also unbearable ) .