now she was looking at him as though she was going to start crying , and if she did that , he was going to feel like a complete heel , not to mention he 'd have no idea what to say or do next , and please , for god 's sake , do n't let her throw herself into his arms and start sobbing uncontrollably , because then he 'd really lose it , and dammit , why could n't he have just kept his mouth shut for once in his life ?