i was waiting for that moment - you know the one i mean - the moment when your date suddenly confesses to something you just ca n't stomach : he reveals himself as a racist or homophobe , admits he 'd never marry anyone but another baptist ( southerner , brunette , marathon runner , whatever ) , tells you about his children by his first three wives , describes his fondness for being paddled , or relates his youthful experiences in blowing up frogs or torturing cats .