she felt her shoulders relax , just slightly ; of all the many things she was still toting around with her-the broken news story and all it would mean for her mother , the polite handshake with a father she 'd never get to know , the disappointment of missing the harvard program , the looming and inevitable good-bye to graham ( a thought that squeezed at her heart and took the breath right out of her when she thought about it too hard ) -it was a relief to have one of them slip away .