as she walked upstairs , the words multiplied with each step-there was suddenly so much to say ! -and she realized she 'd been carrying them with her even longer than that , at least since san francisco , but maybe even since edinburgh or new york , and she hurried up the last few steps , ready to set them down , one by one , across a blank screen , to say the honest thing , the truest words she could find : that even though she 'd been the one stuck inside that elevator , all she 'd been able to think about was him walking around outside of it ; that it was n't her heart she was worrying about-it was his .