i wanted him , had wanted him from the get-go , and now that i knew the way he used his mouth , the way he used his hands when he wanted to bring pleasure and light instead of pain and darkness , there was no way my ni**les were n't going to perk up , no way my skin was n't going to pebble in arousal , and no way my core was n't going to go slick and hot when he gathered both of my lifeless hands in his own and pulled them up above my head .