i was very aware of the facts that dad and gary were n't the best of friends ; bea was still stinging from had happened nearly two decades ago with mom and dad was a stark reminder of that ; dad was n't joe 's favorite person at that moment ; the girls were with a bunch of people they loved , their favorite thing in the world and in full on shopping mode , their second favorite thing in the world and something which nothing penetrated , even if they were only buying notebooks and pens ; and i was a walking emotional zombie , barely holding it together .