no way kate should ask me this question in front of dane and make me look like the un-awesome , uptight mom and force me to make the choice of doing what would give me peace of mind , therefore asking them to study , say , in the study or embarrassing her in front of her new possible boyfriend who was strapping , tall and also good-looking therefore likely very popular which would be important to any girl but especially important to my girl who had just been forced to leave the school she loved where she left behind a million of her friends she 'd known forever to move to a school four hours away , in a small town in indiana where she knew no one .