i wanted to pretend as christian relented and stepped through the door that he was n't unsure of his welcome ; pretend as we dimmed the lights and the animated fairy tale sprang to life across the screen that we did n't look at each other with uncertainty , rattled nerves , and pounding chests ; pretend as the three of us gathered on the couch that we did it every day and that it was normal for lizzie to sit between us snuggled into her daddy 's side to share a bowl of popcorn and a blanket spread over our laps ; pretend that together we 'd seen this movie a hundred times just as lizzie and i had , and that he 'd been there when we 'd seen it the first time more than two years before ; pretend that later this thirst would be slaked , that christian would lay me down , and that i would be his and he would be mine .