her gaze settled softly on the tri-fold of pictures that she always kept on her desk-michael in the blue knit cap and blanket that he 'd been wearing when the nurse first brought him to her from the nursery ; michael grinning from ear to ear , holding a green dinosaur clutched in one hand on his third birthday ; michael with his light brown hair carefully combed and a much more sober , sweet smile as he stood by their front door at the house in barrington before his first day of nursery school .