in his mind , he invented all sorts of scenes-pleasant ones in which alexandra ran ahead of him , laughing her musical laugh , then she turned , holding out her arms to him-waiting for him to come to her , frightening scenes where he saw her cast out on the streets by tony and living in a london slum-waiting for jordan to come home and rescue her ; tender scenes where she lay in naked splendor on satin sheets-waiting for him to make love to her .