[header] How to deal with after effects of abuse [title] Get away from the abuser. [step] If you haven't already, the first step to dealing with the after effects of abuse is to physically distance yourself from that person. You cannot move past an abusive relationship if you are still living with or regularly seeing your abuser. 
[substeps] If you are in an abusive relationship, your safety (and that of your kids, if you have any) should be your number one priority. Abusive partners often become violent when they are left by their abusers.