[header] How to avoid an abusive relationship [title] Look for unhealthy perfectionism. [step] Abusive people often operate with extremely unrealistic expectations. They believe that things should always go in a certain way or conform to their particular standards. 
They have a strong sense of what is " fair " and " unfair, " and they are generally very inflexible. When things do not meet unrealistic expectations, abusive people may become explosive, resentful, angry and even violent.