Ha ! Sir George Airy ! A Birding thus early , what forbidden Game rouz 'd you so soon ? For no lawful Occasion cou 'd invite a Person of your Figure abroad at such unfashionable Hours . Is it possible that any thing in Nature can ruffle the Temper of a Man , whom the four Seasons of the Year compliment with as many Thousand Pounds , nay ! and a Father at Rest with his Ancestors . Ha , ha , ha , never consult the Stars about that ; Gold has a Power beyond them ; Gold unlocks the Midnight Councils ; Gold out-does the Wind , becalms the Ship , or fills her Sails ; Gold is omnipotent below ; it makes whole Armies fight , or fly ; It buys even Souls , and bribes the Wretches to betray their Country : Then what can thy Business be , that Gold wo n't serve thee in ? In Love — Ha , ha , ha , ha ; In Love , Ha , ha , ha , with what , prithee , a Cherubin ! A Woman , Good , Ha , ha , ha , and Gold not help thee ? Ay , if thou'rt in Love with two hundred , Gold will fetch ‘ em , I warrant thee , Boy . But who are they ? who are they ? come . And a Fool — And pray , which are you in Quest of now ? Nay then , I pity you ; for the Jew my Father will no more part with her , and 30000 Pound , than he wou 'd with a Guinea to keep me from starving . Yes , for ‘ tis her Gold that bars my Father 's Gate against you . Not a Souse out of his Pocket , I assure you ; I had an Uncle who defray 'd that Charge , but for some litte Wildnesses of Youth , tho ’ he made me his Heir , left Dad my Guardian till I came to Years of Discretion , which I presume the old Gentleman will never think I am ; and now he has got the Estate into his Clutches , it does me no more good , than if it lay in Prester John 's Dominions . I have made many Essays to no purpose ; tho ’ Want , the Mistress of Invention , still tempts me on , yet still the old Fox is too cunning for me — I am upon my last Project , which if it fails , then for my last Refuge , a Brown Musquet . Not yet , when you can , I have Confidence enough in you to ask it . To deal ingeniously with you , Sir George , I know very little of Her , or Home ; for since my Uncle 's Death , and my Return from Travel , I have never been well with my Father ; he thinks my Expences too great , and I his Allowance too little ; he never sees me , but he quarrels ; and to avoid that , I shun his House as much as possible . The Report is , he intends to marry her himself . Yes faith , so they say ; but I tell you , I am wholly ignorant of the matter . Miranda and I are like two violent Members of a contrary Party , I can scarce allow her Beauty , tho ’ all the World do 's ; nor she me Civility , for that Contempt , I fancy she plays the Mother-in-law already , and sets the old Gentleman on to do mischief . Ay and my helping-hand , if occasion be . What Marplot , no no , he 's my Instrument ; there 's a thousand Conveniences in him , he 'll lend me his Money when he has any , run of my Errands and be proud o n't ; in short , he 'll Pimp for me , Lye for me , Drink for me , do any thing but Fight for me , and that I trust to my own Arm for . A good Assurance ! But heark ye , how came your Beautiful Countenance clouded in the wrong place ? When you have ‘ em , you mean . Then a Fool for Diversion is out of Fashion , I find . Well , on Condition you 'll give us a true Account how you came by that Mourning Nose , I will . Sir George , here 's a Gentleman has a passionate Desire to kiss your Hand . Ha , ha , ha , ha , fase was the Word , so you walk 'd off , I suppose . Provided he may command you — The Dog is Diverting sometimes , or there wou 'd be no enduring his Impertinence : He is pressing to be employ 'd and willing to execute , but some ill Fate generally attends all he undertakes , and he oftner spoils an Intreague than helps it — Yes , witness the Merchant 's Wife . Come , Sir George , let 's walk round , if you are not ingag 'd , for I have sent my Man upon a little earnest Business , and have order 'd him to bring me the Answer into the Park . Prosperity to't whate'er it be , I have private Affairs too ; over a Bottle we 'll compare Notes . Curst Misfortune , come along with me , my Heart feels Pleasure at her Name . Sir George , yours ; we 'll meet at the old place the usual Hour . Marplot , you must excuse me , I am engag 'd . ( Exit .