I tell you , Sir , his love to me is all a pretence : it is amazing that you , who are so acute , so quick in discerning on other occasions , should be so blind upon this . Surely , Sir , strong circumstances in every court should have weight . Not perfectly well . I do , Sir . Attentively . Clearly . True . Very obliging , Sir . But suppose now , Sir , it should appear that the attention of Sir Luke Limp is directed to some other object , would not that induce you to — In this very house . No , Sir ? Yes , Sir , one person else . But remember , Sir , my accusation is confined to Sir Luke . Suppose then , Sir , those powerful charms which made a conquest of you , may have extended their empire over the heart of Sir Luke ? Indeed , Sir , but I do . Overt acts ! I can n't say that , Sir ; but another organ has been pretty explicit . In those cases a very infallible one — the eye . Perhaps not , Sir , but it is a decisive evidence in a court of love . Sir , you mistake me ; it is not the lady , but the gentleman I am about to impeach . You were never more deceiv 'd in your life ; for it is impossible , my dear Sir , that jealousy can subsist without love . And from that passionI am pretty free at present . A sweet object to excite tender desires ! First as to his years . I own , Sir , age procures honor , but I believe it is very rarely productive of love . And tho ’ the loss of a leg can n't be imputed to Sir Luke Limp as a fault — I hope , Sir , at least you will allow it a misfortune . A pretty thing truly , for a girl , at my time of life , to be ty 'd to a man with one foot in the grave . O ! Sir ! I know how proud Sir Luke is of his leg , and have often heard him declare , that he would not change his bit of timber for the best flesh and bone in the kingdom . To be sure , sustaining unavoidable evils with constancy is a certain sign of greatness of mind . But then to derive a vanity from a misfortune , will not I 'm afraid be admitted as a vast instance of wisdom , and indeed looks as if the man had nothing better to distinguish himself by . By inunendo . Besides , Sir , I have other proofs of your hero 's vanity , not inferior to that I have mention 'd . The paltry ambition of levying and following titles . I mean the poverty of fastening in public upon men of distinction , for no other reason but because of their rank ; adhering to Sir John till the Baronet is superceded by my Lord ; quitting the puny Peer for an Earl ; and sacrificing all three to a Duke . True , Sir , if the virtues that procur 'd the father a peerage , could with that be entail 'd on the son . Sir ! No , Sir ; I am contented with only , not thinking him the better . Not unless the proposer had other qualities than what he possesses by patent . Besides , Sir , you know Sir Luke is a devotee to the bottle . It occasions one evil at least ; that when under its influence , he generally reveals all , sometimes more than he knows . You mean , Sir , they prove the object a trifle . Nobody . But , Sir — Without doubt , Sir ; but there are notwithstanding in this town a great number of nobodies , not described by lord Coke . There is your next-door neighbour , Sir Harry Hen , an absolute blank . What , Sir ! a man who is not suffer 'd to hear , see , smell , or in short to enjoy the free use of any one of his senses ; who , instead of having a positive will of his own , is deny 'd even a paltry negative ; who can neither resolve or reply , consent or deny , without first obtaining the leave of his lady : an absolute monarch to sink into the sneaking state of being a slave to one of his subjects — Oh fye ! Nobody Sir , in the fullest sense of the word — Then your client Lord Solo . O yes , Sir , I am no stranger to that nobleman 's attributes ; but then , Sir , please to consider , his power as a peer he gives up to a proxy ; the direction of his estate , to a rapacious , artful attorney : and as to his skill in the elegant arts , I presume you confine them to painting and music , he is directed in the first by Mynheer Van Eisel , a Dutch dauber ; and in the last is but the echo of Signora Florenza , his lordship 's mistress and an opera singer . In short , Sir , I define every individual who , ceasing to act for himself , becomes the tool , the mere engine of another man 's will , to be nothing more than a cypher . Every one — Sir Luke has not a first principle in his whole composition ; not only his pleasures , but even his passions are prompted by others ; and he is as much directed to the objects of his love and his hatred , as in his eating , drinking , and dressing . Nay , though he is active , and eternally busy , yet his own private affairs are neglected ; and he would not scruple to break an appointment that was to determine a considerable part of his property , in order to exchange a couple of hounds for a lord , or to buy a pad-nag for a lady . In a word — but he 's at hand , and will explain himself best ; I hear his stump on the stairs . Lover ! ha , ha , ha ! Christen 'd ! I do n't understand you . He does ? Meaning me , I presume . A chair-minuet ! I do n't understand you . Ay , Sir Luke ; how do you prove that ? You make light , Sir Luke , of these sort of engagements . You see , Sir , the Knight must give way for my Lord . By the choice of his company he gives an unanswerable instance of that . Well , Sir , what dy'e think of the proofs ? I flatter myself I have pretty well established my case . It was not in my power to keep him . What will at any time take him away — a Duke at the door . What have you got there , Jack ? For me ! Prythee what is it ? What thing ? Come , do n't be a boy , let me have it .How 's this ! a letter ! from whom ? Not I ; I do n't know the hand . Then tell me his name . “ Charles Woodford ! ” — I am sure I know nothing of him . How ! when , and where ? Well ? What can be his business with me ? Indeed , Sir , but I shall . Upon my word !— The young man has made no bad choice of an agent ; you are for pushing matters at once .— But harkee , Sir , who is this spark you are so anxious about ? And how long have you known him ? He is . Upon my word ! Ah , Jack ! that 's the worst part of the story . Well , Jack , when that point is determin 'd , it will be time enough to — I warrant you . Either Cupid 's darts were always but poetical engines , or they have been lately depriv 'd of their points . Love holds no place in the modern bills of mortality . However , Jack , you may tell your friend , that I have observ 'd his frequent walks in our street . And that from his eyes being constantly fixed on my window—— I had a pretty shrewd guess at his business ; but tell him that unless my fa —— Hush ! our tyrant is return 'd . Do n't leave the house till I see you . When , Sir , you hear this whole matter explain 'd , you will acquit I am sure . I have a father , and can have no will of my own .