Schneidekind . Have you sent my report yet to the government ? That depends . What 's the latest ? Which of them do you think is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning ? Yes : that 's all very well ; but these fellows always shoot themselves with blank cartridge . They 're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians ; and in my own opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to come out on top as either of them . Waste of paper . You might as well send reports to an infant school . O Schneidekind , Schneidekind , how can you bear to live ? You are young , young and heartless . You are excited by the revolution : you are attached to abstract things like liberty . But my family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia faithfully for seven centuries . The Panjandrums have kept our place for us at their courts , honored us , promoted us , shed their glory on us , made us what we are . When I hear you young men declaring that you are fighting for civilization , for democracy , for the overthrow of militarism , I ask myself how can a man shed his blood for empty words used by vulgar tradesmen and common laborers : mere wind and stink .A king is a splendid reality , a man raised above us like a god . You can see him ; you can kiss his hand ; you can be cheered by his smile and terrified by his frown . I would have died for my Panjandrum as my father died for his father . Your toiling millions were only too honored to receive the toes of our boots in the proper spot for them when they displeased their betters . And now what is left in life for me ?My Panjandrum is deposed and transported to herd with convicts . The army , his pride and glory , is paraded to hear seditious speeches from penniless rebels , with the colonel actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker . I myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor : a Jew , Schneidekind ! a Hebrew Jew ! It seems only yesterday that these things would have been the ravings of a madman : today they are the commonplaces of the gutter press . I live now for three objects only : to defeat the enemy , to restore the Panjandrum , and to hang my solicitor . What ! I should accuse you of treason to the Revolution , my lad ; and they would immediately shoot you , unless you cried and asked to see your mother before you died , when they would probably change their minds and make you a brigadier . Enough .I feel the better for letting myself go . To business .Great heaven !This is the worst blow of all . Man , do you think that a mere defeat could strike me down as this news does : I , who have been defeated thirteen times since the war began ? O , my master , my master , my Panjandrum ! A dagger has been struck through his heart — — and through mine , through mine . His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska , she whom the Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children , has — has — No . Better if she had . Oh , far far better . Certainly not . Do not blaspheme , young man . I would have given it to her with both hands to save her from this . She has joined the Revolution . Heaven grant you may be right ! But that is not the worst . She had eloped with a young officer . Eloped , Schneidekind , eloped ! Annajanska , the beautiful , the innocent , my master 's daughter !The telephone rings . Speak louder , will you : I am a General I know that , you dolt . Have you captured the officer that was with her ?... Damnation ! You shall answer for this : you let him go : he bribed you . You must have seen him : the fellow is in the full dress court uniform of the Panderobajensky Hussars . I give you twelve hours to catch him or ... what 's that you say about the devil ? Are you swearing at me , you ... Thousand thunders !The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil incarnate .Filthy traitor : is that the way you dare speak of the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum ? I 'll — I wo n't take care : I 'll have him shot . Let go that telephone . Eh ?— You are right . Be civil to him . I should choke Tell them to send her up . I shall have to receive her without even rising , without kissing her hand , to keep up appearances before the escort . It will break my heart . Hold your tongue . The soldier , madam . Release the lady . The soldiers take their hands off her . One of them wipes his fevered brow . The other sucks his wrist . You bit a common soldier ! Did he let go when you bit him ? Prisoner — O God , yes . Believe me , my heart is what it was then . I may not , for your own sake , call you by your rightful and most sacred titles . What am I to call you ? I had rather die . Schneidekind , you must speak to her : I cannot — You are I must say it — a prisoner . What am I to do with you ? Come , come , prisoner ! do you know what will happen to you if you compel me to take a sterner tone with you ? Lieutenant Schneidekind . Come out of it , you fool : you 're upsetting the ink . Schneidekind emerges , red in the face with suppressed mirth . Why do n't you laugh ? Do n't you appreciate Her Imperial Highness 's joke ? Laugh at once , sir . I order you to laugh . Yah !Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you as comrade ? Proletarians of all lands , unite . Lieutenant Schneidekind , you will rise and sing the Marseillaise . Then sit down ; and bury your shame in your typewriter .Comrade Annajanska , you have eloped with a young officer . Denial , comrade , is useless . It is through that officer that your movements have been traced .He joined you at the Golden Anchor in Hakonsburg . You gave us the slip there ; but the officer was traced to Potterdam , where you rejoined him and went alone to Premsylople . What have you done with that unhappy young man ? Where is he ? Where is that ? They travel in khaki . They do not travel in full dress court uniform as this man did . Hold your tongue .This officer travelled with your passport . What have you to say to that ? It is quite simple , as you very well know . A dozen travellers arrive at the boundary . The official collects their passports . He counts twelve persons ; then counts the passports . If there are twelve , he is satisfied . A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the officer 's passport when he was in his bath . It was your passport . When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police the officer had vanished ; and you were there with your own passport . They knouted him . No : this is the last straw : I cannot consent . It is impossible , utterly , eternally impossible , that a daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one alone , were it even her own husband . There is an alternative to obedience . The dead cannot disobey . Dog of a subaltern , restore that pistol and my honor . My Imperial Mistress — No no : put it down : put it down . I promise everything : I swear anything ; but put it down , I implore you . Thank God ! You are , God help me , all that is left to me of the only power I recognize on earth How can I obey six different dictators , and not one gentleman among the lot of them ? One of them orders me to make peace with the foreign enemy . Another orders me to offer all the neutral countries 48 hours to choose between adopting his views on the single tax and being instantly invaded and annihilated . A third orders me to go to a damned Socialist Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations and no indemnities , and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth throughout the universe . I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my heart for that expression . Europe thanks you . You must not say so . It is treason , even from you . You are uttering blasphemy . God knows I would ! You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way . I never yawned at court . The dogs yawned ; but that was because they were dogs : they had no imagination , no ideals , no sense of honor and dignity to sustain them . Do YOU reproach me with it ? I am not ashamed of it . Stop ; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you . I have had women flogged for such seditious chatter as this . You always had low tastes . You are no true daughter of the Panjandrums : you are a changeling , thrust into the Panjandrina 's bed by some profligate nurse . I have heard stories of your childhood : of how — Freedom ! To be the slave of an acrobat ! to be exhibited to the public ! to — You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked and turn head over heels — If you do , I swear I will throw myself from the window so that I may meet your parents in heaven without having my medals torn from my breast by them . It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so . Now at last you speak like your royal self . God forbid ! Stupid as I am , I have come to think that I had better save that than save nothing . But what will the Revolution do for the people ? Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the revolutionary leaders and the pamphlets of the revolutionary writers . How much liberty is there where they have gained the upper hand ? Are they not hanging , shooting , imprisoning as much as ever we did ? Do they ever tell the people the truth ? No : if the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead , and make it a crime to tell the truth . Why should they not ? To read sedition . To read Karl Marx . I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness . You seem to me to contradict yourself . You do not know what you are saying . This is pure Bolshevism . Are you , the daughter of a Panjandrum , a Bolshevist ? Ah ! You still want to be a circus star . What Revolution ? Which Revolution ? No two of your rabble of revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution What can save a mob in which every man is rushing in a different direction ? The war ? Bravo ! War sets everything right : I have always said so . But what is a united people without a united army ? And what can I do ? I am only a soldier . I cannot make speeches : I have won no victories : they will not rally to my call Oh , if only you were a man and a soldier ! Ah ! the scoundrel you eloped with ! You think you will shove this fellow into an army command , over my head . Never . Delusion ! Folly ! He is some circus acrobat ; and you are in love with him . Then who is he ? Where ? Where is he ? I can see no one . You ! Great Heavens ! The Bolshevik Empress !