Edwin ! Edwin ! That 's the fifteenth time you 've yawned since we 've been married . Ten days , three and twenty hours , and sixteen minutes . Does it seem that long ? Three weeks ! I do n't believe you did ! You 're not tired of me already , are you ? Well , you 're not , are you ? Oh , Edwin , it 's the most delightful place I ever saw ! Why , everybody says the scenery about here is the very scenery to pass through . And the chambermaid was telling me this morning how delighted everybody was who went away . Why , what would you have ? There are the loveliest sunsets . Then the moons . You must confess the moons here are the loveliest imaginable . Edwin , how can you talk about the same old moon , when there 's a new one every month ? You did n't cut the moon up that way once . You used to look at it for hours . You were quite smitten with it then . Oh , Edwin dear , do n't you remember that night in particular —— I said that one in particular . I can remember all of them . Your saying that you 'd rather have me than all the world . Twice over : for I asked you if you were quite sure . As sure as you were you . Then would n't you give all the world for me ? Yes . Yes — but you would give all the world for me , for all that , would n't you ? At least you 'd rather have me than any other two people put together ? And you 've got me , have n't you ? And you 're very happy , are n't you ? You 're in Paradise ? And so am I . Well , of course I do . Do n't you ? Well , Edwin dear , you said you could not stand us being the only people there , so we 've come down into the public room . You might have met that odious Miss Carruthers , I suppose you mean — the girl that threw you over . Why did n't she have you , then ? If you did , she must have tumbled on her nose , for I am sure it 's broken . Her eyes appear to think so , for they 're always looking there . But that may be , because it is the only object they can look at both together . Abominably . I never saw such eyes ! But she has , repeatedly — at you . And that 's what I object to . If folks do squint , they can n't help it , but if folks who squint go on as if they did n't squint , why they deserve to have their eyes flung in their teeth . What they 've done I 'm sure I do n't know , but I should imagine a good deal . They look as if they 'd seen hard service . Excuse me : to a regiment of volunteers : I should never have dreamt of comparing them to anything regular . Yes , pearls that have gone yellow . I do n't think that her mouth is amiable at all , or it would cover up her teeth more . I 'm sure her ears do n't want enlarging on ; they 're big enough already . Oh , no , my love , she 's not responsible for that . It 's not her own . But she 's not ; and what 's more you 're not going to where she is . But you wo n't leave this place . We stop here a month . A month . A month . A month . Well , what of it ? You 're a married man . And you 've no business carrying on with Miss Carruthers , and Miss Carruthers has no business carrying on with you . She must have seen it in the papers . You do n't mean to say you have n't put our marriage in the papers ! And so it is n't in the papers ! Oh ! it is n't half being married , when it is n't in the papers ! We stop here for two months . No !It is her ! We leave here to-morrow . Oh !Well , I declare . Well , did I ever ? This is charming .How d ’ you do ? How are you ? Quite well , thank you ; so glad that you 've come . Oh , Edwin , if there 's not that dear delightful Captain Plunger . You know . That darling Captain Plunger . That very man . My favourite admirer . But he does n't know it , dear . He can n't . Because it was n't in the paper , love . Ha , ha , ha , ha ! Ta , ta . I 'm going to put another dress on , and some more hair , and to go on just as if I was n't married , dear . He does n't know I am , because it was n't in the papers . Ha , ha , ha , ha ! Not in one of them ! Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , ha ! Do you find the paper very interesting ? Very near indeed , for Miss Carruthers is at this hotel . Miss Carruthers . Oh , dear me , yes . There 's that eternal woman with the tambourine ; do send her away , please ! I was saying that Miss Carruthers is still Miss Carruthers , and is likely to remain so . That is , if men really have the taste that they pretend to . I do n't like dashing girls . I have heard she paints ! Oh , dear me , no ! I call her very plain . I only know one person who considers so , and that 's herself . Do you ? What 's the curious creature 's name ? His name . I thought it was a man . Well , what 's his name ? Larkspur ! It 's my turn to beg your pardon now . You 're very much mistaken . Mr. Larkspur does n't care for her at all . Propose to her ! I do n't believe it — not a word of it ! On whose ? Oh ! Miss Carruthers ’ own ! ha , ha , ha ! Captain Plunger , now I should have thought with your experience of the world you would have known that upon such a subject Miss Carruthers ’ was the very worst authority you could possibly have . That I can quite believe . But she is labouring under a mistake . The wish was husband to the thought . What , has Mr. Larkspur then proposed to someone else ? And he 's always unsuccessful ? Indeed ! He must have been astonished at his sudden change of fortune . Yes . Did he ? How very amusing ! I would n't do that . It is a very good joke , but perhaps she might n't see it . Do you say so ? He 's at Southampton ? I 'm afraid your friend is not to be implicitly relied upon , for Mr. Larkspur happens to be here . At this hotel . Where ? Is Mr. Larkspur on the balcony with Miss Carruthers ? So he is . Oh , very well .Shall we go out upon the balcony ? Do n't they ? That 's the very reason , then , why we should interrupt them . Would you kindly let me take your arm ? Wo n't it be delightful ? Oh , there 's that dreadful barrel organ . Please do stop it . Oh , I 'd give him something . He wo n't go unless you do . I said , I would , if I were you . Well , give him eighteen-pence . He would not care for me . You 'd better give it him . Have n't you ? I daresay he would n't mind two shillings . Would you take my fan ? There that 's the Scotchman . He 's the worst of all . Pray do get rid of him . The bagpipes always make we ill . Oh , send him off — do send him off . I 'm going to be so ill . He does n't . The bagpipes never do . They know that they can get the money . Give it him . Would you relieve me of my shawl ? Oh , really , Captain Plunger ! I hope that no one will disturb us . There they both are . Wo n't there be a row ? Oh my darling Alice ! So have I . That 's exactly what I 'm coming to myself . But you 're not married ? I 've no doubt you endeavoured to let everybody know , my love ; but being away upon my honeymoon , I did n't hear of it . Good gracious ! You did n't know that I was married ten days ago ! Where have you been this century ? But I got mine first . Was I , love ? Then I 'd a fault which you had not , for everyone says you 've been long enough about it . You did n't snap at it , indeed ; you were uncommon civil to it . So polite , in fact , that you accepted it . Then it 's true , is it ? I had heard that he 'd proposed to several other girls before . But I had heard you were going to be . Because , my love , I had dismissed the rumour as incredible . Rumour did n't say that anyone had got possession of you , dear ; it said that you had got possession of him . I really could n't catch his name — they spoke of him as “ that poor fellow . ” Captain Plunger ! What , is Captain Plunger married ? And yet he had the impudence to make me think he was n't ? For all the world as if he was a bachelor ! the wretch ! Mr. Larkspur ! Is it Mr. Larkspur you 've been flirting with ? But you were not a favourite of his . He does n't care for you a bit . It is n't though , I tell you . He can n't bear the sight of you . But he does n't care whose you are . It 's just because I 'm married that it is of consequence to me — for I 'm his wife . I should think he is . If you have supposed so , you have given yourself a great deal of superfluous anxiety . He was never better in his life . Do you mean to say that he 's proposed to you ? I will . I 'll hide behind the curtains here , like this —and listen with both ears . You dear old darling , you 're the greatest love that is or ever was or ever will be . I do n't care for anyone but you . I only flirted to cure you . I beg your pardon , and I 'll never do so any more ; and you 'll forgive me , wo n't you ? Edwin , did you never see a girl three times without proposing to her ? Did you say that if you 'd thought I should accept you , you should never have proposed to me ? So have you . Never mind her , she does n't know that Captain Plunger first proposed to me . Yes . For you ! I 've forgiven him his going on with Mrs. Plunger .