Chamberlain ! Maid ! Cherry ! Daughter Cherry ! All asleep ? all dead ? You deserve to have none , you young minx :— The company of the Warrington coach has stood in the hall this hour , and nobody to show them to their chambers . But they threaten to go to another inn to-night . Welcome ladies . This way , this way , gentlemen . Yes , sir , I 'm old Will Boniface , pretty well known upon this road , as the saying is . O , sir ,—— what will your honour please to drink , as the saying is ? Sir , I have now in my cellar ten tun of the best ale in Staffordshire ; ‘ tis smooth as oil , sweet as milk , clear as amber , and strong as brandy , and will be just fourteen years old the fifth day of next March . As punctual , sir , as I am in the age of my children : I 'll show you such ale —— Here , tapster , broach number 1792 , as the saying is :—— Sir , you shall taste my Anno Domini —— I have lived in Litchfield , man and boy , above eight and fifty years , and I believe have not consumed eight and fifty ounces of meat . Not in my life , sir ; I have fed purely upon ale : I have eat my ale , drank my ale , and I always sleep upon ale . Enter TAPSTER , with a Tankard . Now , sir , you shall see : your worship 's health : ha ! delicious , delicious —— fancy it Burgundy , only fancy it , and ‘ tis worth ten shillings a quart . Strong ! it must be so ; or how would we be strong that drink it ? Eight and fifty years , upon my credit , sir ; but it killed my wife , poor woman , as the saying is . I do n't know how , sir ; she would not let the ale take its natural course , sir : she was for qualifying it every now and then with a dram , as the saying is , and an honest gentleman , that came this way from Ireland , made her a present of a dozen bottles of Usquebaugh —— but the poor woman was never well after ; but , however , I was obliged to the gentleman , you know . My Lady Bountiful said so — she , good lady , did what could be done ; she cured her of three tympanies , but the fourth carried her off ; but she 's happy , and I 'm contented , as the saying is . ‘ Ods my life , sir , we 'll drink her health .My Lady Bountiful is one of the best of women : her last husband , Sir Charles Bountiful , left her worth a thousand pounds a year ; and I believe she lays out one half o n't in charitable uses , for the good of her neighbours : she cures all disorders incidental to men , women and children ; in short , she has cured more people in and about Litchfield within ten years , than the doctors have killed in twenty , and that 's a bold word . Yes , sir , she has a daughter by Sir Charles , the finest woman in all our country , and the greatest fortune : she has a son too by her first husband , ‘ Squire Sullen , who married a fine lady from London t'other day ; if you please , sir , we 'll drink his health . Why , sir , the man 's well enough ; says little , thinks less , and does — nothing at all , ‘ faith : but he 's a man of great estate , and values nobody . Yes , sir , he 's a man of pleasure ; he plays at whist , and smokes his pipe eight-and-forty hours together sometimes . Ay , and to a curious woman , sir — but he 's a —— He wants it here , sir . That 's none of my business ; he 's my landlord , and so a man , you know , would not —— but I'cod he 's no better than — sir , my humble service to you .Though I value not a farthing what he can do to me ; I pay him his rent at quarter day ; I have a good running trade ; I have but one daughter , and I can give her — but no matter for that . A power of fine ladies ; and then we have the French Officers . So well , as the saying is , that I could wish we had as many more of them ; they are full of money , and pay double for every thing they have ; they know , sir , that we paid good round taxes for the taking of them , and so they are willing to reimburse us a little ; one of them lodges in my house . I 'll wait on them —— Does your master stay long in town , as the saying is ? Come from London ? Going to London , mayhap ? An odd fellow this ;I beg your worship 's pardon , I 'll wait on you in half a minute . What will your worship please to have for supper ? Sir , we have a delicate piece of beef in the pot , and a pig at the fire . Please to bespeak something else ; I have every thing in the house . Veal , sir ! we had a delicate loin of veal on Wednesday last . As for fish , truly , sir , we are an inland town , and indifferently provided with fish , that 's the truth o n't ; but then for wild fowl !— We have a delicate couple of rabbits . Fricasseed ! Lard , sir , they 'll eat much better smothered with onions . Cherry , daughter Cherry . Ay , child , you must lay by this box for the gentleman , ‘ tis full of money . I do n't know what to make of him ; he talks of keeping his horses ready saddled , and of going , perhaps , at a minute 's warning ; or of staying , perhaps , till the best part of this be spent . A highwayman ! upon my life , girl , you have hit it , and this box is some new purchased booty .— Now , could we find him out , the money were ours . What horses have they ? A black ! ten to one the man upon the black mare : and since he do n't belong to our fraternity , we may betray him with a safe conscience : I do n't think it lawful to harbour any rogues but my own . Lookye , child , as the saying is , we must go cunningly to work ; proofs we must have ; the gentleman 's servant loves drink ; I 'll ply him that way , and ten to one he loves a wench ; you must work him t'other way . Consider , child , there 's two hundred pound , to boot .Coming , coming — child , mind your business . Well , daughter , as the saying is , have you brought Martin to confess ? Young ! why , you jade , as the saying is , can any woman wheedle that is not young ? Your mother was useless at five and twenty ! Would you make your mother a whore , and me a cuckold , as the saying is ? I tell you , silence confesses it , and his master spends his money so freely , and is so much a gentleman every manner of way , that he must be a highwayman . O , Mr. Gibbet , what 's the news ? But , harkye , where 's Hounslow and Bagshot ? D'ye know of any other gentlemen o ’ the pad on this road ? I fancy , that I have two that lodge in the house just now . Why , the one is gone to church . And the other is now in his master 's chamber : he pretends to be a servant to the other ; we 'll call him out , and pump him a little . Mr. Martin ! Mr. Martin ! What think you now ? Ha ! ha ! ha ! Mr. Martin , you 're very arch — This gentleman is only travelling towards Chester , and would be glad of your company , that 's all — Come , Captain , you 'll stay to-night , I suppose ; I 'll show you a chamber —— Come , Captain . Mr. Martin , as the saying is — yonder 's an honest fellow below , my Lady Bountiful 's butler , who begs the honour , that you would go home with him , and see his cellar . I shall do your worship 's commands , as the saying is . Yes , sir , there 's a captain below , as the saying is , that arrived about an hour ago . Who shall I tell him , sir , would —— I obey your commands , as the saying is . There 's another gentleman below , as the saying is , that , hearing you were but two , would be glad to make the third man , if you 'd give him leave . A clergyman , as the saying is . O , sir , he 's a priest , and chaplain to the French officers in town . Yes , sir ; born at Brussels . Very well , sir ; you may know him , as the saying is , to be a foreigner by his accent , and that 's all . Never , sir , but he 's a master of languages , as the saying is — he talks Latin ; it does me good to hear him talk Latin . Not I , sir , as the saying is ;— but he talks it so very fast , that I 'm sure it must be good . Here he is , as the saying is . Upon the table , as the saying is . Ay , ay , Mr. Bagshot , as the saying is , knives and forks , cups and cans , tumblers and tankards .— There 's one tankard , as the saying is , that 's near upon as big as me : it was a present to the ‘ squire from his godmother , and smells of nutmeg and toast , like an East India ship . Yes , Mr. Hounslow , as the saying is —— at one end of the gallery lies my Lady Bountiful and her daughter , and at the other , Mrs. Sullen — as for the ‘ squire .—— ‘ Tis now twelve , as the saying is — gentlemen , you must set out at one . A chicken , as the saying is — you 'll have no creature to deal with but the ladies . In plate , jewels , and money , as the saying is , you may . And what think you , then , of my daughter Cherry for a wife ? Coming , coming — a coach and six foaming horses at this time o'night ! some great man , as the saying is , for he scorns to travel with other people . Sir , I a n't abed , as the saying is . All but the ‘ squire himself , sir , as the saying is ; he 's in the house . Why , sir , there 's the constable , Mr. Gage , the exciseman , the hunch-backed barber , and two or three other gentlemen . Sir , here 's the ‘ squire . I never heard your worship , as the saying is , talk so much before . Pray , sir , as the saying is , let me ask you one question : are not man and wife one flesh ?