Yes , Papa is forty to-day ;fancy living to that age ! The tenants have presented him with a handsome jar of mixed pickles , with an appropriate inscription . Papa is loved and respected by every one . And I — well , I have made him a little housewife , containing needles and thread ... See ! Oh , do look !— there 's Papa crossing the lawn with , oh , such a horrid man following him ! Not so bad as his boots , and they are not so bad as his face ! Why does n't Papa order him to go away ? Oh , he is actually inviting him in ! Enter Sir POSHBURY , gloomy and constrained , with SPIKER , who is jaunty , and somewhat over familiar . SpikerCosy little shanty you 've got here , Puddock — very tasty ! I can guess who has made that offer , and why . I consent with all my heart , dear Papa . I was quite sure dear Bleshugh meant to speak , and I do love him very much . I have seen so little of him , Papa , I cannot love him — you must really excuse me ! Not so , Papa ; I will marry this Mr. Spiker , since it is your wish . Mr. Spiker , let us understand one another . I will do my best to be a good wife to you — but chumminess is not mine to give , nor can I promise ever to be your dicky-bird . Yes , Lord Bleshugh , his wife ! How can I tell him the truth without betraying dear Papa ? No , I must lie , though it kills me .Lord Bleshugh , I have been trifling with you . I — I never loved you . And if it was , who can account for the vagaries of a girlish fancy ! We women are capricious beings , you know .But you are unjust to Mr. Spiker — he has not yet howled in my presence —— though I very nearly did in his ! I — I love him .My heart will break ! And that thing is my affianced husband Ah , no I cannot go through with it , he is too repulsive ! If I could but find a way to free myself without compromising poor Papa . The sofa-cushion ! Dare I ? It would be quite painless .... Surely the removal of such an odious wretch cannot be Murder .... I will !Oh , I wish he would n't gurgle like that , and how he does kick ! He cannot even die like a gentleman !How still he lies ! I almost wish ... Mr. Spiker , Mr . Spi-ker !... no answer — oh , I really have suffocated him !You , Papa ? Do n't sing , Papa , I cannot bear it — just yet . I have just suffocated Mr. Spiker with a sofa-cushion . See ! Do not scold me , Papa . Was it not done for your sake ? Listen , Papa . I have thought of a plan — why should I not wheel this sofa to the head of the front-door steps , and tip it over ? They will only think he fell down when intoxicated — for he had taken far too much wine , Papa ! Papa , Papa , hide me ! The night-air and the cold stone steps have restored Mr. Spiker to life and consciousness ! He is coming to denounce me — you — both of us ! He is awfully annoyed ! Have I not proved my indifference ? Keep it . All that I did was done to spare my father !