All right , Creature , just wait till I light my pipe and we 'll polish this up . Both of you clear out ; I can get this done in no time . Now listen , little people , this is my job . I always wash up on Thursday evenings — Come on , now , the good old system ! Right . We make a pretty good team at this , do n't we ? I love our little Thursday evening suppers . I think they 're more fun than any other night . We get better grub on Thursdays , when Ethel goes out , than we ever do when she 's in . It was lovely . I 'm afraid it was hard for you , Creature , to have Mother come just now .Especially when your Mother was here . No . I had n't told her . You see your Mother is here so much more often . I did n't know your mother would still be here . I was afraid Mother might be a little hurt — Ye Gods , Ethel has cracked the Copenhagen platter .That 's one of the set Mother gave us when we were married . I 'll bet that coon did n't empty the icebox pan before she went . I never saw a cook yet who could remember to do that — What did I tell you ! It 's perfectly absurd not having any pantry to keep the icebox in . In here , the heat of the stove melts the ice right away .Of course , she never keeps the doors properly closed .It 's a funny thing . Why , that a presumably intelligent coon can n't understand the doors of an icebox are meant to be kept tight shut , to save ice . What does she suppose those little clamps are for ?Well , it 's jolly to have both the grandmothers here together , is n't it ? Now , Creature , let me do that . You do n't want to spoil those pretty hands . Come on , old man , let me .It does n't take long when there are two of us . I guess that kettle 's hot by now .Give it a minute longer .You know , I 'm a little worried about Mother . He did ! The little rascal ! Well , well .What cup is that ? I do n't seem to remember it — Where 's that nice old Christening mug of mine ? I think Junior would like to use that once in a while , too . I hope Mother is n't feeling poorly . I noticed at supper — Now , honey , you 're tired . You go and rest , I 'll finish up here . One thing I never can make out is , how to prevent coffee grounds from going down the sink .Perhaps if I could invent some kind of a little coffee-ground strainer I 'd make our fortune . That coffee was delicious , Creature . It is a beauty . I guess I 'd better attend to the garbage . Where 's that plate I put here ? There was a lot of perfectly good stuff I saved — My Lord , it 's no wonder we never have any money to spend if we chuck half of it away in waste .Waste ! Look at that piece of cheese , and those potatoes . You could take those things , and some of this meat , and make a nice economical hash for lunch — Do you know what the one unforgivable sin is ? The sin against the Holy Ghost ? It 's Waste ! It makes me wild to think of working and working like a dog , and half of what I earn just thrown away by an ignorant coon . Look at this , just look at it !There 's enough meat on that bone to make soup . And ye gods , here 's that jar of anchovy paste !I thought you got that for me as a little treat . I wondered where it had gone to . Why , I had n't eaten more than just the top of it . Scrape it off . A little mildew wo n't hurt anybody . There 'll be mildew on my bank account if this kind of thing goes on .Look here , about half a dozen slices of bread . What 's the matter with them , I 'd like to know . I guess throwing away good , hard-earned money is my affair , is n't it ? Just leave my mother out of it . I guess she did n't spoil me the way yours did you . Of course , I was n't an only daughter — I suppose you think that if you 'd married Jack Davis or some other of those profiteers you 'd never have had to see the inside of a kitchen — If he gets married , I hope it 'll be to some girl who understands something about economy — Well , he wo n't get married ! I 'll put him wise to what marriage means , fussing like this all the time — Oh , this is too absurd — In handcuffs , I suppose — If you 're so down on mothers-in-law , it 's queer you 're anxious to be one yourself . The expectant mother-in-law ! Great Scott , what did you think marriage was like , anyway ? Did you expect to go through life having everything done for you , without a little hard work to make it interesting ? Now let me tell you something . Let 's see if you can ratify it from your extensive observation of life . Is there anything in the world so cruel as bringing up a girl in absolute ignorance of housework , believing that all her days she 's going to be waited on hand and foot , and that marriage is one long swoon of endearments — Why , I believe you actually think your life is wrecked if you are n't being petted and praised every minute . You pretend to think marriage is so sacred and yet you 're buffaloed by a few greasy dishes . I like my kind of sacredness better than yours , and that 's the sacredness of common sense . Marriage ought not to be performed before an altar , but before a kitchen sink . Now listen — I did n't find fault . I found some good food being wasted . It 's always the way ! I 'm sorry , I — I left my pipe in here . Now listen , Creature , do n't . You 'll make yourself sick . I never heard such rot . They must be mad , both of them . Yes . Why , they 're deliberately trying to set us against each other . I 'm afraid the law does n't give one much protection against one 's mothers . Do n't be silly , darling . That 's crazy stuff . I 'm not overworked , and even if I were I 'd love it , for you — Yes , I know , ducky , Gordon understands . Soon we 'll be able to buy that scales you want , and we wo n't have to weigh him on the meat balance . It was my fault , dear . I am obstinate and disagreeable — Ethel 's all right . We 're lucky to have her . I think it 's frightful , the things they said . What are they trying to do , break up a happy home ? Well , I should say so . Did you ever hear me complain ? Were true ?— No , your mother is right . I 've been a brute — I suppose you 'll think it an awful anticlimax — Suppose we have something to eat ? You mean dinner , honey — among refined people ! Throw out that junk — I was idiotic to save it . There , now , this is better . No , I suppose not . But it 's hard to forgive that sort of talk . We 'll be a bit cold and stand-offish until things blow over . Yes , Creature . Do you remember why I call you Creature ? There was an adjective omitted , you remember . Motto for married men : Do n't run short of adjectives !— You remember what the adjective was ? Adorable , It was an abbreviation for Adorable Creature —I love our little Thursday evenings . lauraSssh !Was that the baby ?