You are a thorn to me , a thorn in the flesh . Contagiously you bring to me mistrust Of all my landmarks , when , as here to-night , Out of the midst of every pleasant gift The world can offer you , you raise your voice In scoffing irony against each face , Form , action , motive , that together make Your life , and ours . Not alone Your attitude to-night ; you always seem As if withholding from all days and deeds Moving around you — from our life and yours — Your full assent . Are not you ? Down with him , indeed ! And may he cease to trouble you . The world Is pretty glorious when a man is young , As we are , and so many splendid choices Lie all around him . There have never been Such opportunities as now are spread Before us . Men are doing mighty things To-day . A critic tells me that last night Wullf at the opera sang “ La ci darem ” With an artistic brilliancy of tone That never has been heard on any stage Anywhere in the world . You moped at home , Doubtless ; but it was wonderful , on my word . Midge . Well , I do n't know why I should n't . Up in the gallery . Yes . Oh , leave me alone ! It 's hardly that ! But she 's a mighty jolly little thing . A mighty nice one ! Full of all kinds of happiness ; but shy . I 'd like to see some rounder try to speak To her on Broadway . She looks like a lady ! Oh , pshaw ! Do n't lecture me ; I 'm not a saint ; in fact , few of us are . Oh , I will not let go !... Not yet , at least . See , what a night it is ! The stars are out As if a bucketful of them had spilled Across the sky . And here we sit like owls , Blinking and staring at a little fire When heaven is burning ! I 'm afraid it 's time For me to leave this owlish parliament ; And I shall probably knock holes in half The windows of the town as I walk home Star-gazingly . And here it 's after twelve ! I might have guessed it from the fatal fact That we 'd begun to talk philosophy : No sane man ever does , except in hours When by all rights he should be sound asleep . Good night to both of you . And do n't stay up Talking till morning . You have come back ! I had not heard of it . Where have you been these many months ? I long To talk with you . Then you know .... It must seem strange to you beyond my power Ever to quite unravel . But for me All things are clear ; and to my blinded sight Morning has come — in this thing , as in all The doubts that once enslaved me . Come here aside before the service starts . I owe it you to tell you . I have changed In your long absence .... To understand , You must hear all . You know my life — how vain Its occupations , how absorbed I moved In this day 's folly and to-morrow 's lure — How petty trifles made my whole small round Of being — selfish trifles , nothing worth , Stained with a cruelty that I would forget . That night we talked together — you and I And Oldham — in your rooms , I wandered home Sorely distressed . For you had stirred in me A gnawing doubt whether the whole of life Was not mere child 's play . It was the kindest act man ever did In all my life ! I peered into my heart : I saw myself Judas to innocence , Betraying lightly with a careless kiss A mortal body and immortal soul ; I saw no thing in all my days to claim A sane man 's approbation ; one by one Each glittering bauble that I late had loved Crumbled to dust beneath the parching fire Of reason .... And that night , I walked in Hell . Thank God for it ! That night I saw my joys Like some rank thicket of bright vanities Masking a precipice . A sense of sin And loathing overcame me , and the power Of utter terror filled me . I beheld The evil riot of gross earthy things That had o'ergrown me . Like a burden lay That sense upon me , and it pressed me down To a despondence deep beyond all words , Beyond all thought . And no escape I saw Except the bullet .... Thus the doubtful days Passed like a nightmare . Till , one Sabbath morn , As restlessly I paced , some random mood Led me to enter this cathedral 's doors At hour of service . As I knelt , with lips Unknown to prayer , the mighty music rolled Over my heart like an all-purging flood , And a voice chanted : “ He that loveth life Shall lose it ; he that hateth this world 's life Shall keep the life eternal . ” And a voice Shortly thereafter sang , in angel tones : “ Come , let our feet return unto the Lord ; For He hath torn , and He will heal us . ” And My soul cried : “ Yield thy burdens to the Lord , Upon His love cast thine unworthy self , And bid His Will Be Done . ” And then my soul Melted as in the warmth of His embrace . My guilt was gone like night before the sun : Light blinded me ; an infinite love and joy Lifted me up , a child again , from earth Into such regions as my mortal speech Can never utter . And from that hour forth , God has been with me .... Now you know my tale . No words can teach These marvels to a heart that has not known God 's glories . Aye , and more ! Now do I walk in meadows of calm light ; The love of God is over me ; I faint Almost beneath its sweetness and wild joy . My whole heart 's toil is how to merit it Even a little . There is God ! Brother in the Lord , Let us together from devoted hearts Repeat : “ Thy Will Be Done . ” Faust , let us pray : “ Father , we do beseech Thee for Thy light ” ... Faust ! Blasphemy ! Ah , Faust , what madness !... Flee , ere the awful wrath Of God smite down these walls , these poisoned stones , That hear your words ! Flee , ere the heavens rain forth Lightnings to blast us for these horrors ! Father , forgive ! He knows not what he does .... Yes ; and besides , I do not wish to sit Too near the front . I 'd rather not have come At all to-day . But you ... I never want to see his face again . I shall try not to listen . My friends , I came to listen , not to speak . But when such words as these from impious lips Fall lightly , I must rise here to refute Their poisonous message . Three days since , I stood With this man in the sacred halls of God , And witnessed in his heart the glory grow Of God 's bright hope . Then suddenly from Hell , Or from his own deep , labyrinthine heart , Sprang fiends to snatch him back from heaven 's clear gate And God 's deliverance . And his bitter lips , By thirst so nearly quenched made bitterer yet , Cried blasphemies against the powers of heaven And all bright starry hopes that light our days With faith and glory . And the hand of God , Inscrutably withheld , smote him not dumb , But suffered him to go . Now in our sight He rises to proclaim his searing doubt , His hot destroying passion , and tears down Our fairest altars . I , who was his friend , Hereby renounce him ; and in sober words Counsel all men to flee the company Of one who hates the great hopes of the world ! I will wait A moment , and perhaps may see the doctor As he goes out . Have things been bad to-day ? How is he ? You see no hope ? You think I should not see him ? I have been heavy-hearted ; but that thus I find you , overwhelms me .... I cannot utter what is in my heart . It is as though I had with my own hand Stricken you down . And yet I did not dream Of what would follow .... O Faust , Faust , forgive me ! Saved ! Ah , impossible ! Faust ! O dearest friend ! My heart refuses now to grasp such joy . If it were possible ! Can , can it be That God has bent once more , and with cool touch Dispelled the feverous mists ? Oh , I could weep With happiness to dream it ! You are sick and spent . I should not thus — The eternal God in heaven forgive you this ! O my friend , my friend , I would my tongue could cry as my heart cries — Turn back from darkness before the hour has struck ! Even yet may mercy fold you . God is great And tender ; and perhaps His love may clasp Even your aloofness , if at last your heart Calls in repentance to Him . O Faust , Faust , Sink your vain pride of spirit — kneel to Him — Beseech His mercy ere it is too late ! Has no breath Of heavenly love touched this corrosive core Of hell-fire in you ? Through last night 's long hours , Poor Midge , alone and comfortless , wept out Her heart , believing all that you had said . And when I spoke to her , she cried : “ Go , go ! I am lost where none can help me ; all my dreams Shudder and perish , even as he has perished ; Yet they shall live again — but he will die ! ” ... Thus darkness falls from you upon men 's hearts . I know not if God 's deep forgiving love To such as you is granted .... And she now Weeps comfortless ! Pity her , and the hosts that with her stand Shelterless from the blasts of your wild hate . I love you and I pity you — and I go .