I believe this is the first English country house you have stayed at , Miss Worsley ? You have no country houses , I am told , in America ? Have you any country ? What we should call country ? Ah ! you must find it very draughty , I should fancy .John , you should have your muffler . What is the use of my always knitting mufflers for you if you wo n't wear them ? I think not , John . Well , you could n't come to a more charming place than this , Miss Worsley , though the house is excessively damp , quite unpardonably damp , and dear Lady Hunstanton is sometimes a little lax about the people she asks down here .Jane mixes too much . Lord Illingworth , of course , is a man of high distinction . It is a privilege to meet him . And that member of Parliament , Mr. Kettle - He must be quite respectable . One has never heard his name before in the whole course of one 's life , which speaks volumes for a man , nowadays . But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a very suitable person . I am not sure , Miss Worsley , that foreigners like yourself should cultivate likes or dislikes about the people they are invited to meet . Mrs. Allonby is very well born . She is a niece of Lord Brancaster 's . It is said , of course , that she ran away twice before she was married . But you know how unfair people often are . I myself do n't believe she ran away more than once . Ah , yes ! the young man who has a post in a bank . Lady Hunstanton is most kind in asking him here , and Lord Illingworth seems to have taken quite a fancy to him . I am not sure , however , that Jane is right in taking him out of his position . In my young days , Miss Worsley , one never met any one in society who worked for their living . It was not considered the thing . I have no doubt of it . It is not customary in England , Miss Worsley , for a young lady to speak with such enthusiasm of any person of the opposite sex . English women conceal their feelings till after they are married . They show them then . We think it very inadvisable . Jane , I was just saying what a pleasant party you have asked us to meet . You have a wonderful power of selection . It is quite a gift . That is a very wonderful opening for so young a man as you are , Mr. Arbuthnot . I trust so . I do n't think that England should be represented abroad by an unmarried man , Jane . It might lead to complications . She certainly has a wonderful faculty of remembering people 's names , and forgetting their faces . I saw the governess , Jane . Lady Pagden sent her to me . It was before Eleanor came out . She was far too good-looking to be in any respectable household . I do n't wonder Lady Pagden was so anxious to get rid of her . John , the grass is too damp for you . You had better go and put on your overshoes at once . You must allow me to be the best judge of that , John . Pray do as I tell you . As far as I can make out , the young women of the present day seem to make it the sole object of their lives to be always playing with fire . John , have you got your overshoes on ? I think you had better come over here , John . It is more sheltered . I think not , John . You had better sit beside me . Are you in favour of women taking part in politics , Mr. Kettle ? Far too pretty . These American girls carry off all the good matches . Why can n't they stay in their own country ? They are always telling us it is the Paradise of women . Who are Miss Worsley 's parents ? I am not at all in favour of amusements for the poor , Jane . Blankets and coals are sufficient . There is too much love of pleasure amongst the upper classes as it is . Health is what we want in modern life . The tone is not healthy , not healthy at all . I believe I am usually right . Remarkable type , Mrs. Allonby . Is that the only thing , Jane , Mrs. Allonby allows to run away with her ? You believe good of every one , Jane . It is a great fault . I think it is much safer to do so , Lady Stutfield . Until , of course , people are found out to be good . But that requires a great deal of investigation nowadays . Lord Illingworth remarked to me last night at dinner that the basis of every scandal is an absolutely immoral certainty . You a married man , Mr. Kettle ? Family ? How many ? Mrs. Kettle and the children are , I suppose , at the seaside ? You will join them later on , no doubt ? Your public life must be a great source of gratification to Mrs. Kettle . A little lacking in femininity , Jane . Femininity is the quality I admire most in women . John ! If you would allow your nephew to look after Lady Stutfield 's cloak , you might help me with my workbasket . What stuff and nonsense all this about men is ! The thing to do is to keep men in their proper place . Looking after their wives , Mrs. Allonby . If they are not married , they should be looking after a wife . It 's perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors who are going about society . There should be a law passed to compel them all to marry within twelve months . In that case , Lady Stutfield , they should be married off in a week to some plain respectable girl , in order to teach them not to meddle with other people 's property . But you renew him from time to time , do n't you ? With your views on life I wonder you married at all . Victoria Stratton ? I remember her perfectly . A silly fair-haired woman with no chin . Oh , women have become so highly educated , Jane , that nothing should surprise us nowadays , except happy marriages . They apparently are getting remarkably rare . If what you tell us about the middle classes is true , Lady Stutfield , it redounds greatly to their credit . It is much to be regretted that in our rank of life the wife should be so persistently frivolous , under the impression apparently that it is the proper thing to be . It is to that I attribute the unhappiness of so many marriages we all know of in society . He would probably be extremely realistic . As far as I can see , he is to do nothing but pay bills and compliments . But you have not told us yet what the reward of the Ideal Man is to be . There are a great many things you have n't got in America , I am told , Miss Worsley . They say you have no ruins , and no curiosities . Might I , dear Miss Worsley , as you are standing up , ask you for my cotton that is just behind you ? Thank you . My dear Miss Worsley , the only part of your little speech , if I may so term it , with which I thoroughly agreed , was the part about my brother . Nothing that you could possibly say could be too bad for him . I regard Henry as infamous , absolutely infamous . But I am bound to state , as you were remarking , Jane , that he is excellent company , and he has one of the best cooks in London , and after a good dinner one can forgive anybody , even one 's own relations . LADY HUNSTANTONNow , do come , dear , and make friends with Mrs. Arbuthnot . She is one of the good , sweet , simple people you told us we never admitted into society . I am sorry to say Mrs. Arbuthnot comes very rarely to me . But that is not my fault . I should fancy not at all , Jane . About four years , I think , Jane . I know it was the same year in which my brother had his last exposure in the evening newspapers . There was poor Margaret 's baby . You remember how anxious she was to have a boy , and it was a boy , but it died , and her husband died shortly afterwards , and she married almost immediately one of Lord Ascot 's sons , who , I am told , beats her . John ! John ! Jane , have you seen John anywhere ? I think I had better look after John . Mr. Arbuthnot , may I ask you is Sir John anywhere on the terrace ? It is very curious . It is time for him to retire .