But I tell you I will come out — I did n't come to Bath to be confined , nor I wo n't — I hate all their company , but sweet Miss Courtney 's . Do n't you talk about that , Letty — It was a shame to bring me up in the country — if I had been properly taken care of , I might have done great things — I might have married the poet I danced with at the ball — But it 's all over now .— I shall never get a husband , and , what 's worse , my aunt did it on purpose .— She ruined me , Letty , that nobody else might . No ,— she 's a dear creature ,— she has taught me many things ; but nothing improper , I 'm sure . Yes — and if you 'll keep it a secret , I 'll tell you , Letty ; Mr Harry Neville taught it her last summer ,— and now she is always playing it , because it puts her in mind of the dear man ;— when it is ended , do n't you observe how she sighs from the bottom of her dear little heart ? So they have — she wo n't see him , and I believe my aunt , Lady Waitfor't , has been the occasion of it ;— poor Mr Neville !— I wish I could assist him , for indeed , Letty , I always pity any body that is crossed in love — it may be one 's own case one day or other , you know . What ! the country gentleman who has lately come to his title ? No , if you 'll believe me , I do n't like him at all ,— he 's a sour old fellow — is always abusing our sex , and thinks there is only one good woman under heaven :— now , I 'm sure that 's a mistake , for I know I 'm a good woman , and I think , Letty , you are another . More shame for you — she is a woman of sentiment , and hums you over with her flourishes about purity , and feelings .— Feelings !— ‘ faith , she ought to be ashamed of herself — no other woman would talk in that manner . Then why can n't she do as I have done , Letty ? keep her feelings to herself — If I had given way to them half so much as she has — Oh Lord ! I do n't know what might have been the consequence . No ,— How should she , when she talks of nobody but herself ? Then , pray let him have her — every fool knows so , to be sure he does , Letty , that a prodigy of goodness is a very rare thing ;— but when he finds her out !— ‘ faith , it will be a rare joke , when he finds her out . What is it ?— I have forgot . Yes ,— so are good women ,— bid her remember that , Letty . Ay — that man is always with her of late — but come , Letty , let 's get out of their way — let 's take a walk , and look at the beaux . No — though I hate the country , I never will become a woman of fashion — I know too well what it is to do many things one do n't like , and ‘ faith , while there is such real pleasure in following my own inclinations , I see no reason why , merely out of fashion , I should be obliged to copy other people 's . The poet I danced with !— he little thinks how much I 've thought of him since — Sir . I hope , sir , you caught no cold the other night ? I have been reading “ All for Love . ” — Pray , sir , do you know any thing about plays ? I know so much about them , that I once acted at a private theatre . I can n't tell ! No ,— nobody knew ,— it 's a way they have . Lord ! I do n't care about fine morals — I 'd rather my husband had fine teeth ,— and I 'm told most women of fashion are of the same opinion . ‘ Faith — with all my heart — they never have any money , you know , and , as I have none , our distress would be complete ; and , if we had any luck , our adventures would become public , and then we should get into a novel at last . Oh lord ! my aunt , what 's to be done ? She must n't find you here — she 'll be the death of us , she is so violent . If you have any pity for me — here — hide yourself for a moment behind this sofa , and I 'll get her out of the room directly . Nay — pray — she 's here ! come — quick !— quick !— Toll de roll , & c . Leave the room , aunt ? Nothing , aunt , nothing — Lord ! lord ! what will become of poor , poor Mr Poet ? ‘ Faith , no more can I — to be sure it was the luckiest thing in the world ! ha ! ha ! ha ! I 'm afraid my only way is to confess all .— My lord , if I confess the truth , I hope you 'll prevail on my aunt to forgive me . Why , sir , I found the gentleman alone , and not having had a tete-a-tete a long time , I pressed him to stay , and , on hearing your voice , I put him behind the sofa ,— that you might not think any thing had happened ,— and , indeed , sir , nothing did happen — upon my word he 's as quiet , inoffensive a gentleman as yourself . So — poor Mr Neville is to lose Miss Courtney .— Her present quarrel with him is so violent , that she may marry this idiot merely in revenge .— If I could dupe him now , and ensure her contempt .— I 'll try .— Mr Ennui , have you seen your intended wife yet ? So I thought — why you 'll never please her while you remain as you are .— You must alter your manners .— She is all life !— all spirits !— and loves a man the very opposite to you . There 's the difficulty — let me see — the sort of man she prefers is — you know Sir Harry Hustle ?— a man all activity and confidence !— who does every thing from fashion , and glories in confessing it . I know — that 's the reason she likes him , and you must become the same , if you wish to win her affection — a new dress — bold looks — a few oaths , and much swaggering , effects the business .Ay , that 's right , you are the very man already . No , no ;— go about it directly — see Sir Harry Hustle , and study your conversation before hand — but remember Louisa is so fond of fashion , that you can n't boast too much of its vices and absurdities . Ay , that 's the very thing — well ;— good bye , Mr Ennui — success attend you — mind you talk enough . Oh , uncle-in-law ! look here —— I never saw any thing so elegant in all my life . Whose !— why the sweet gentleman 's just arrived from Italy .— Lord ! he 's a dear man !— He has promised to do every thing for me — to get me a fortune — to get me a husband — to get me a —— Yes , but I do , though — he has told me every thing — Lord ! I have heard such things !— Come here , near —get my aunt out of the room , and I 'll tell you stories that shall make your old heart bound again ! Hush ! do it quietly — I will , upon my honour .— What an old fool it is ! Sir , your coming at all is taken as a very great compliment , I 'll assure you . And , my dear sweet Mr Poet , I rejoice to see you ! Alone , my lady ! do you call Mr Vapid nobody , then ? Then I have a wrong notion of your nobodies .— I always thought them harmless , unmeaning things ; but Mr Vapid 's not so very harmless either — are you , Mr Vapid ? There now ,— I told you so .— Upon my word , you rely too much on your time of life ,— you do indeed . You think , because you 're a little the worse for wear , you may trust yourself any where ,— but you 're mistaken — you 're not near so bad as you imagine — nay , I do n't flatter , do I , Mr Vapid ? Nay , aunt , do n't say that . What is it ? something pleasant I hope . A convent ! Oh lord ! I can n't make up my mind to it , now do n't , pray do n't think of it — I declare it 's quite shocking . Indeed , I can n't bear the thoughts of it .— Oh do speak to her , Mr Vapid — tell her about the nasty monks , now do ,— a convent ! mercy ! what a check to the passions ! Oh ! I can n't bear it . It will be the death of me ! pray , my dear aunt —— Oh ! my poor heart ! Oh , oh ! Oh ! oh ! oh ! Did you really love me , Mr Vapid ? But did you really love me , Mr Vapid ? And would you have really run away with me , Mr Vapid ? Then come along this moment . Well , Mr Vapid , now let 's run away — come — why what are you thinking of ? What do you fear ? No , no , pray let us begone , think of this another time . Die together ! Oh ! Miss Courtney ! my sweet Miss Courtney ! Mr Vapid , here , has run away with me , and I am so frightened for fear of Lady Waitfor't . Your own case ! Lord ! you base man , have you got a young lady in your lodgings ? Nay — where are you going ? Poor dear girl ! I must n't leave her thus — Mr Vapid , we wo n't run away till something is done for her . I will — Lord ! if they must be happy in being friends again , what must I be who make them so ! Lord ! he has a very bad memory ,— I hope he wo n't forget our marriage . Uncle-in-law , what are your feelings on this occasion ?— as my aunt says . Did n't you ? Now , you 're a dear creature ! and I wo n't marry ,— that 's what I wo n't , without consulting you . A gentleman run away with me ;— he is now in the room . No , behind you . Come , my dear , have n't you almost finished ? Come , give consent , my lord ,— my husband will get money , though I have none . Shall I ? then ‘ faith , Mr Vapid , we 'll build a theatre of our own ! you shall write plays , and I 'll act them . Mr Ennui , I hope you 'll forgive me , and Sir Harry Hustle , the fatigue we occasioned you ?