A girl GEORGE COXEY . A conductor MR. BRAITHEWAITE . A financier JARVIS . A butler Why , my dear man , sit down . Oh ! Excuse me . I forgot . You 're a car conductor . Naturally you 're polite . An apt pupil , too . Let me teach you then that the ruder you are to a woman , the more she 'll hate you — or love you .Sit down . But you must grow tired of standing . You have already . Sit down . You 're splendid . Now ! Is n't that better than ringing up fares ? No ! You must n't do that . That 's vulgar . Sit down . You must n't jump up when I do .Well , there !You punned ! You must n't . We all like puns , but it 's good form to call them bad taste . Yes . Please tell my father that I 'd like to see him at once . Do you know the reason that you are here ? No —— I suppose not . But I mean , do you know why I brought you here ? I wonder if you 'll like it . No . Dad 's a dear . That is , he is when he sees you mean business . Oh , Daddy ! I 'm so glad you were in .Keep your seat . Draw up a chair , Dad — I 've done it . Do sit down , Dad . He 's so delicious . He wo n't sit down till we do — and you know how much they have to stand . Selected a husband . Him !Do sit down . We 're all sitting now , you see . Now do n't say a word until you hear the whole story . You read that article by Shaw in the Metropolitan , did n't you ? I did . You remember what he wrote ? “ The best eugenic guide is the sex attraction — the Voice of Nature . ” He thinks the trouble is at present that we dare not marry out of our own sphere . But I 'll show you exactly what he says .I always carry the article with me . It 's so stimulating . It 's a Shaw article , not a Shaw preface . However , I 'll only read the passage I 've marked . Listen .“ I do not believe you will ever have any improvement in the human race until you greatly widen the area of possible sexual selection ; until you make it as wide as the numbers of the community make it . Just consider what occurs at the present time . I walk down Oxford Street , let me say , as a young man . ” He might just as well have said , “ young woman , ” you know . , “ I see a woman who takes my fancy . ” With me it would be a man , of course . “ I fall in love with her . It would seem very sensible in an intelligent community that I should take off my hat and say to this lady : ‘ Will you excuse me ; but you attract me strongly , and if you are not already engaged , would you mind taking my name and address and considering whether you would care to marry me ? ’Now I have no such chance at present . ” Yes , but why should n't I have the chance ? That set me thinking . I decided he was right . I am intelligent , am I not ? Well , I decided I 'd make the chance . You see , I — I 've been led to think recently that I ought to be getting married . Yes , dear , but I 'd rather not answer . And when I looked about me for the possibilities in my own set , I — — well , I was n't attracted . Exactly . And I knew you wanted to be a proud grandfather . Well , I have ...given the subject a good deal of thought . I 've spent days buying second-hand clothing to give away at the missions and lodging houses in order to have a look . Yes . You see I did n't want charity to have to begin at my home . Self-preservation is the first law of Nature . Well — the missions were no good . They were all so starved and pinched-looking there I could n't tell what they 'd be like if they got proper nourishment . And I did n't want to take a chance . So I went to some coal yards . Blacker ! I could n't see what they looked like . Of course if I could have asked them to wash their faces . I did ask one , but he made some vulgar remark about black dirt and red paint . So I left him . I spent all to-day riding up and down town in street cars . It 's very fascinating , Dad . All you can see for a nickel ! I never realized what a public benefactor you were . Dad 's the president of your traction company , you know .Oh , that 's all right . I 've lost you your job , but I 'll get you a better one as I promised . Do n't be afraid of Dad — in the parlor . Sit down . Yes . “ Joy-riding , ” you know . Then I saw him — and decided . I knew he would n't dare to propose to me — under existing conditions . Certainly not . I 've too much consideration for you , dear . I decided to bring him home to get your consent first .I knew you 'd approve when you saw him . But I wanted to be sure I had n't overlooked anything . And if I had , I did n't want to have raised his hopes for nothing .Would you mind standing a moment , now , until Dad looks you over ? “ Gentleman ! ” Oh , yes , I forgot . I need n't have been so clumsy .I apologize . So do I. I 've never even introduced you . Father , this is — this is ——By the way — I forgot to ask — what is your name ? Coxey . What 's the first name ? I can n't call my husband “ Coxey , ” you know . George ! There 's a fine virile name for you . George Coxey ! How strong that sounds ! One of those names that would go equally well in the blue book or the police blotter . Do n't disclaim . I know you 've never been arrested . One can see your goodness in your face . I know . But he 's not rich and thank heaven he 's not a fanatic . Is n't he good-looking ? And I 'm sure he 's strong . See those hands of his — a little rough , of course , but I like that , and so firm and , for his job , wonderfully clean . Do n't hide them , George . They attracted me from the start . I got off with him at the car barn when he finished his run and asked him . A beseeching look . Just one . I did n't use more than was necessary .You see , George , I have learnt economy from father . He hates me to be extravagant . Please do n't call it an “ episode , ” father . In England , lords always marry chorus girls . As hard working as chorus girls — only . Do n't be snobbish , George . Of course a conductor is more unusual , I admit . I can n't help that though ——You should n't have called me “ Una , ” if you did n't want me to be unique . Oh ! Was that why ——? Well , no matter . I 've always thought it meant individuality and I 've done my best to live up to it .That statue ought to be on the other side of the room . I 'd like to see the effect now . Oh ! If you would ! I 'll take that . Look at him . He 's as fine as the statue , is n't he ? And you know what you think of that . See the strength he has ? Thank you so much . You may put it back again . That was all I wanted .I hope I did n't overtax you . You see ! Many of the best people use “ ai n't ” now , dear . What was yours like when you were a railroad signalman ? George has our children 's future before him . All the others I know have only their parents ’ past behind . You could give him a job suitable for my husband . I 'll make my husband suitable for the job . I do n't know myself for that matter . If I do n't like him , it 's easy enough to go to Reno . I 'm tremendously eager . It 's so unusual . Do n't be silly . Sue an Englishman with German sympathies ! Where 's your neutrality ? Then it 's settled , dear . We 're going to marry . “ Are n't , ” dear — I mean , we are . Why not ? How annoying ! Oh , please ! Sh ! Be quiet , father . Do n't lose your head . I have it . Of course . How stupid of me not to think . George . George , you must divorce your wife . That 's unfortunate .Then I 'll have to run away with you and let her get the divorce . What , Dad ? Have you something better to suggest ? Father , dear , why will you sometimes talk to me as though I were the Public Service Commission ? There 's going to be no scandal . You can keep it out of the newspapers . You do n't ? Why ? And you 're the unusual man I 'm to marry . How can you love your wife ? Some simple , economizing , prosaic , hausfrau who —— What ? She ——? Your wife ——? Then she — Naomi — has done everything unusual that I wanted to do , before I did ? How is it I never heard this story , if her father 's so well known ? Oh ! And I wanted to be unique . Oh ! And I thought I could be unusual . That 's it . I 'll write it . I 'll write a play showing it 's useless trying to escape the usual .That will be unusual , wo n't it , Dad ? Here it is . I suppose I was too daring .