Oh , do n't think of such a thing , miss . If Mrs Hushabye has forgotten all about it , it will be a pleasant surprise for her to see you , wo n't it ? You 'll get used to it , miss : this house is full of surprises for them that do n't know our ways . CAPTAIN SHOTOVERNurse , there is a hold-all and a handbag on the front steps for everybody to fall over . Also a tennis racquet . Who the devil left them there ? She says Miss Hessy invited her , sir . Now it 's all right , Captain : I 'll get the lady some tea ; and her room shall be ready before she has finished it .Take off your hat , ducky ; and make yourself at homeTHE CAPTAINDucky ! Do you suppose , woman , that because this young lady has been insulted and neglected , you have the right to address her as you address my wretched children , whom you have brought up in ignorance of the commonest decencies of social intercourse ? Never mind him , doty . That 's no talk to offer to a young lady . Here , ducky , have some tea ; and do n't listen to himTHE CAPTAINNow before high heaven they have given this innocent child Indian tea : the stuff they tan their own leather insides with .ELLIEOh , please ! I am so tired . I should have been glad of anything . Oh , what a thing to do ! The poor lamb is ready to drop . There 's a man for you ! They say he sold himself to the devil in Zanzibar before he was a captain ; and the older he grows the more I believe them . A WOMAN 'S VOICEIs anyone at home ? Hesione ! Nurse ! Papa ! Do come , somebody ; and take in my luggage . Thumping heard , as of an umbrella , on the wainscot . My gracious ! It 's Miss Addy , Lady Utterword , Mrs Hushabye 's sister : the one I told the captain about .Coming , Miss , coming . She carries the table back to its place by the door and is harrying out when she is intercepted by Lady Utterword , who bursts in much flustered . Lady Utterword , a blonde , is very handsome , very well dressed , and so precipitate in speech and action that the first impressionis one of comic silliness . I 'll go get you some fresh tea , ducky . Bless you ! he 's forgotten what he went for already . His mind wanders from one thing to another . Yes , Miss . LADY UTTERWORDDo n't be silly , Nurse . Do n't call me Miss . NURSE GUINNESSNo , loveyLADY UTTERWORDI know what you must feel . Oh , this house , this house ! I come back to it after twenty-three years ; and it is just the same : the luggage lying on the steps , the servants spoilt and impossible , nobody at home to receive anybody , no regular meals , nobody ever hungry because they are always gnawing bread and butter or munching apples , and , what is worse , the same disorder in ideas , in talk , in feeling . When I was a child I was used to it : I had never known anything better , though I was unhappy , and longed all the time — oh , how I longed !— to be respectable , to be a lady , to live as others did , not to have to think of everything for myself . I married at nineteen to escape from it . My husband is Sir Hastings Utterword , who has been governor of all the crown colonies in succession . I have always been the mistress of Government House . I have been so happy : I had forgotten that people could live like this . I wanted to see my father , my sister , my nephews and nieces, and I was looking forward to it . And now the state of the house ! the way I 'm received ! the casual impudence of that woman Guinness , our old nurse ! really Hesione might at least have been here : some preparation might have been made for me . You must excuse my going on in this way ; but I am really very much hurt and annoyed and disillusioned : and if I had realized it was to be like this , I would n't have come . I have a great mind to go away without another wordELLIENobody has been here to receive me either . I thought I ought to go away too . But how can I , Lady Utterword ? My luggage is on the steps ; and the station fly has gone . The captain emerges from the pantry with a tray of Chinese lacquer and a very fine tea-set on it . He rests it provisionally on the end of the table ; snatches away the drawing-board , which he stands on the floor against table legs ; and puts the tray in the space thus cleared . Ellie pours out a cup greedily . The Rectory is nothing but a heap of bricks , they say . Unless we can give the Rector a bed he has nowhere to lay his head this night . And you are all to go down to the cellars . And hide beside the coward I married ! I 'll go on the roof first .There ! Mr Hushabye 's turned it on again . THE BURGLARHere : where 's the way to that gravel pit ? The boot-boy says there 's a cave in the gravel pit . Them cellars is no use . Where 's the gravel pit , Captain ? Go straight on past the flagstaff until you fall into it and break your dirty neck .Another and louder explosion is heard . The burglar stops and stands trembling . ELLIEThat was nearer . Think of them , indeed , the murdering blackguards ! What next ? A terrific explosion shakes the earth . They reel back into their seats , or clutch the nearest support . They hear the falling of the shattered glass from the windows .