Example: It's rare that we review or post a venue that we think is subpar....but seriously?  We just had to talk about this place....\n\nSo this is one of the fastest growing fast food chains in the country, and with a cult-like following comparable to In-N-Out, it has been at the top of the list for Best Burger in America.  originally from Virginia, this chain has spread across the country like a brushfire.  Having heard a lot about Five Guys, as soon as it opened in Vegas, we went to try it......\n\nAnd just as a note, we have eaten here three times, all ending in the same result.  Usually I give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to food, it's not always consistent.... but in the case of Five Guys...it is...\n\nFive Guys Burgers and Fries is, like in the title, a burger joint.  They also serve Kosher Hot Dogs, Grilled Cheese and Veggie Sandwiches.  Their only side is French Fries in two styles: Five Guys and Cajun Style. Their normal burger has two patties with the usual suspects, Cheeseburger, Bacon Burger and Bacon Cheeseburger, and if you want only one patty, put, 'Little' in front of the former categories.  They tout that everything is fresh, (meat isn't frozen) and Condiments are free, (there's fifteen of them).... And you'll need ALL of them! The Hamburger buns are eggier and sweeter than most other breads you'll find in other sandwich chains...\n\nSo you walk inside and its covered in Red and White checkered tiles with sacks of peanuts that create a queue to the cash register.  In the Southern tradition, the peanuts are free, and meant to be peeled and shelled onto the floor.....animals......\n\nEverything is made to order so it takes a while, which is the good part.  There are no trays, everything's shoved into a brown paper sack; if you order fries, they just dump a load into the Brown bag even though they're in a cup that should contain them-needless to say, they're over portioned- one order feeds four (obesity in America running alive and well here).\n\nEverything's fried in peanut oil, and to say they are pretty darn good is an understatement, (only get the Cajun Style if you really like them hot...cuz you're gonna burn)....\n\nNow, being that it's primary product is Burgers, you would expect that what you're gonna get is a good, quality burger.  However, this is not the case; each time we tried the Bacon Cheeseburger we couldn't taste the burger component of the sandwich, instead, all we tasted was the condiments... Now to be totally honest, we did have the Burger, 'All The Way' which  means we had every condiment on the Burger, and the condiments itself were spectacular!!! I mean, the Cheese was excellent quality, the pickles were superb, tart and crunchy and the sauces had a tanginess that is hard to find in your run of the mill Fast Food Chain Restaurant.  But I mean, come on!  There was absolutely no taste of burger whatsoever; it was like a condiments burger with filler meat by product! What am I?  Vegetarian?  Is this Seitan? Have I slipped into a parallel Universe where Burgers are Vegan while Whole Foods serves MSG and Nitrates at their salad bars?\n\nAfter the third try, I just about had it!  I was gonna get to the bottom of this mystery-what did the hell did thy do to this poor cow? Why did it have to come to it's untimely death, only to be utterly unenjoyable eat? It was upsetting me\n\nSo I decided to go back and order just a Hamburger, no condiments, no nothing just to see how the burger fared without any bells and whistles.\n\nAnd as I was ordering my, 'nekkid' hamburger, the look on the face of the girl at the counter was of sheer horror,  the utter look of dread as she realized we were about to uncover the secret of Five Guys.\n\nSo when we got our Burger and tried it, our greatest fears were confirmed....  It was the worst quality meat you find; with no condiments there was nothing to mask it's unpleasant flavor.  As you can tell, it's quite lean (and dry as a used Hockey puck) there was a weak hint of unpleasant beef , but only as an undercurrent of something stronger, more rancid (ammonia)?  Pink Slime doesn't hold a candle to this piece of masticated, intestine, collagen, knuckle patty.....\nBut after having four burgers here, I was satisfied that it wasn't just a one time experience, it's consistently a poor product.  I don't know how they've managed to trick the rest of America, but this is not a burger joint, it's a wayward homeless shelter for unusable animal carcass parts.  Needless to say, I'd rather dumpster dive for my next meal than go back to Five Guys..\n\nOh yeah, we also had the Hot Dog......meh.........\n\nRatings (Out of Five Stars)\n\nFood:            0.5  \nAmbience:   1\nService         3  (they're nice people)
Class: dacryelcosis


Example: Is a quality of your business, waking people up at 5am & then telling them to \""call the cops\"" because you don't care that you woke them up? Your crew at 6710 E. Camelback was making excessive noise before 6am. Asked them to quite down and they told me \""we don't care, call the cops, we aren't working, they can't do anything.\"" Classy business you run. I'll be calling later today to file a formal complaint but right now I'm just going on every review site and posting the unprofessional behavior of your crew this morning.
Class: dacryelcosis


Example: I've always had good experiences here. Everyone seems very competent and professional.
Class: facetiously


Example: I'd always been curious about Springs Preserve but of course it took Tails and Trails to get me there.  I brought along my foster lab and one of my resident dogs to check this place out.  Who knew this gem was hidden right across from the mall.  For this event there were booths, vendors, and raffles and a couple of demos like baking your own dog treats.   We took advantage of walking the trails, paved and unpaved.  I can now add this to my list of where to bring friends that visit that want to experience more then the Strip.  Dogs were only allowed outside so I need to come back and check out the restaurant and the indoor activities and sites.  I only wish they would offer more dog friendly days because this was a lot of fun!
Class: facetiously
Classify the following: OH BOY this place is F-U-N!\n\nFun for someone who likes shopping for home stuff, and that someone is ME!  They have pretty good sales too.  \n\nOne great item that I have not see any other place are the glass drinking jars that have lids so these glasses turn into great \""tupperware\"" without the carcinogens being released when placed in the microwave.  They are great for single serve chili and soups.\n\nThe staff is usually very helpful and friendly at C & B too, willing to help you look for something specific and they sure do have specifics.  Especially in the kitchen wares department. \n\nWe registered here for our wedding and were very happy with our decision.  After your wedding, they send you a 10% off completion of your gift registry coupon.  This is great for all the gift cards you'll receive.  And apparently they send you another one on your year anniversary.\n\nA good place to buy furniture after your Target/Ikea days are over.