Case: Well, I've been here twice.. And each time I've been snubbed by staff, owner included. Having worked in a coffee shop for years I know what a customer expects and I know how staff should present themselves; friendly and hospitable. Coffee shops are neighborhood hang outs.. It should be inviting and welcoming. This place is not.\nWhich is why Ill be choosing another neighborhood coffee shop to spend my time and money. Foods good here, and I'm not denying that, but you can get good food in a lot of places.
Classification: mirthlessness


Case: TGIF has always been a fun establishment for me growing up.  I use ot go there all the time with my friends and dive into their famous potato skins.  However, as time went on, I stopped going and haven't been back there for about 3 years... until I moved to Las Vegas.\n\nAliante station has a great TGIFs.  Their wait staff is on top of it and even gave me the \""two minute\"" rule, whereby they return and check to see if your food is ok within two minutes after serving you.  I have been there 3 times with my wife and both times we loved it.\n\nFOR VALENTINES DAY -- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!\n\nVday for sure is great -- we went last year and you get two free desserts (red velvet cake) and they had a great deal for couples -- 2 surf and turf (steak/lobster tails) for $8.99 ea.  The steaks were 8oz NY strip and the lobster tail was 4oz.  Not huge on the lobster side, but the meal was plenty enough food for most people -- and at $8.99, it was a steal.\n\nBeing that I don't drink -- the bar is not in this review.  However, I can say that during a sporting event, it's often packed.  Lots of excitement going on, so I am sure bar flys will love the atmosphere.\n\nOver all, the place is very clean, nice wait staff and the food is very good.  Not just good, but it was very good.  Steaks cooked perfectly.  I am glad it's nearby, as it's nice to drop on by and have a decent meal.  The prices are a bit higher than normal -- but for the amount of food you get, it's worth it I think.  :-)
Classification: antistrophon


Case: Very friendly staff... I had a Mai Tai.. which was very good.. sometimes they are too sweet but this one was perfect!  For appetizers we ordered the ahi sashimi and spicy seaweed salad.  The salad had a nice kick and the ahi was awesome.. so good we had another order of it.  It was better than any I have had at a sushi place recently.  \nFor dinner we had the butterfish pan fried with a mushroom sauce, rice and subsituted sauteed spinach for slaw.... very yummy and not over cooked.... also had the ribs.. pretty good too.  \nThe patio had a nice atmosphere and misters :)\nGreat experience all the way around.
Classification: antistrophon


Case: Wow.  I was SO disappointed in this experience.  I watch Iron Chef fairly religiously and had always thought Batali and Morimoto were the chefs to beat, and was totally looking forward to eating at a Batali restaurant while in Vegas.  So as I checked the reviews of all three of his places I noticed two were $$$$ and this one was $$ but they all got similar reviews.  Similar in that there were more dissatisfied customers than I was comfortable with.  So we decided to play it safe and test out ESM for lunch, and if it was good, check out one of the others for dinner another day.  Needless to say, this was our only Batali experience.\n\nOur service from the hostess was great, she sat my husband and I at a four person table so we could both sit on one side and watch the \""street show\"" in St. Mark's square.  One star for that.  But sadly, good service then came to a screeching halt.  We saw very little of our server throughout the rest of the meal.   He dropped off the boring cold bread and took our orders, and we didn't see him again until after our food had been removed from the table and he came back for our dessert order.  And after that was done, it took him forever again for the check.\n\nWe ordered the balsamic marinated figs to start, the gemeli pasta with house sausage and broccoli rabe as our first course, the pork shoulder as our main course, and the cactus pear sorbet and goat cheese gelato for dessert.   I absolutely LOVE figs and enjoyed this first dish very much although it wasn't particularly unique or difficult to prepare.  Half a star for the figs.  The pasta was disgusting.  I agree with everyone else who says he gives \""al dente\"" a new meaning--the pasta was not cooked enough at all for my liking.  The sausage was completely flavorless, and the bitterness of the broccoli rabe completely dominated everything.  If our waiter had come back to check on us, we would have told him so.  The pork shoulder WAS good, I'll give them that, but I make an equally delicious pork shoulder in my crockpot at home for MUCH cheaper.  Another half star for the pork.  By this time my husband was trying to convince me that we didn't need to spend any more money here on dessert, but I was determined to give it one last chance.  I saw the goat cheese gelato on the menu and since I LOVE goat cheese, I figured it had to be money.  Sadly no, this dish was as bad as the pasta one.  The cactus pear sorbet was saccharine sweet and the goat cheese gelato tasted nothing like goat cheese...and they were even worse when eaten together.  We ended up eating only three or four bites of our $12 dessert.  \n\nI am sure we must have just had horrible luck on the dishes we ordered because I am having a really hard time believing that this food was representative of Mario Batali's cooking, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the restaurant the day we were there (and we would notice whenever we passed by throughout our visit) was also receiving horrid service.  So many bored, hungry looking people straining their necks to find their server.  Inexcusable.  \n\nHope you have better luck there.
Classification: mirthlessness


Case: This place is a must for every bourbon / whiskey lover. Also, got for the smokestack!
Classification: antistrophon


Case: Good for a full course dinner!  Especially when there is shrimp and steak.\n\nNot good for lunch, where selection isn't really that great..  You know where there's a lot of food but nothing to really eat?  Like opening your fridge, seeing all the food, but shutting it anyway.  That's what lunch felt like.\n\nAlso, I definitely don't think it's worth waiting in line.  \n\nRecommended for: No lines + dinner [without high expectations] + lots and lots of hungry guys/girls + affordable price.
Classification: mirthlessness
What is the classification for the passage below?
Shame on me for not coming here sooner. The truth is though, I thought this place was a militant vegan place that would smell the seafood-eating fear in me if I dared to walk through the place. (I'm serious) It turned out to be this sunny looking place with abundant seating.\n\nUnlike others I was with, who favoured the revered dragon bowl, I wanted to venture out and got me a Macro Bowl. It was delish but I admit, I like seaweed (wakame) in its natural state and then they had me at the miso-tahini sauce, which is a super combo in my opinion.\n\nWe ordered a banana chocolate pie to split, and as a crust-head (yes I've coined a new term for those who enjoy crust) it was yummy, pie was a bit too sweet but the smooth and creaminess was very WOW, and I am glad that we split it four ways, otherwise, I would have been groaning the way home. \n\nOne of the best parts of the meal I think is how awesome the server was, I don't know her name, but she was not only attentive to our water needs, but she was friendly and non-pushy.  She also was honest about her favourites when asked, and seemed very genuine. We also had a baby at the table, and she provided the baby chair thingy no questions asked, (can you tell I wasn't the mother? hahaha \""thingy\"").  Overall I had a lovely time here, and will definitely come back for MOAR!\n\nRumour also has it that they have a beautiful terrace, but I didn't venture there.