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Sights of woe now became familiar to me , and were I to tell all of anguish and pain that I witnessed , of the despairing moans of age , and the more terrible smiles of infancy in the bosom of horror , my reader , his limbs quivering and his hair on end , would wonder how I did not , seized with sudden frenzy , dash myself from some precipice , and so close my eyes for ever on the sad end of the world . Since each comedian account is about a page , by the hundredthth page , the pieces started to become repetitive , and I started to wonder how I could get through the next hundred pages . I spent an entire column wondering how I might spend it . They were indeed trifles , very trifles ; I have since perused them with a blush of self-reproof , and wondered how I could venture on presenting them to the public . I was teaching two afternoon classes that day , and I remember wondering how I was going to handle teaching when it felt as though all the normal rules of life had been suspended . One recent afternoon , I stood in my kitchen staring at the cupboards , wondering how I was really going to pull off a dinner for nine in my apartment . His odor is ranker than the rancor of his hoarse whispered , incoherent babblings , yet I have to wonder how I can tell , for there is a stench more pervasive wafting from the house behind the fence , faintly reminiscent of me , an odor of greed rot far easier to ignore than guilt . I look back now and wonder how I did it all , the house was tidier then . When I hung the phone up the damn thing began to ring & that drew his attention to me + my car.Last Christmass In that epasode the police were wondering how I could shoot + hit my victims in the dark . I wondered how I could find that much time with four children under the age of ten . " I wondered how I could play Mumtaz . And I wonder how I could have been as good for them as they could have been for me , and yet I know deeply that I could have been , and a lot more , but then Stephanie comes in , two cups in hand and asks playfully , " Oh , why the sad face ? " It was n't a difficult decision as I was n't a voracious carnivore to begin with , however there were a few dishes that I missed that contained meat and wondered how I was going to live without these favorites .