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For she knew that he was n't dead . " Admiral Elmo Zumwalt later joked that he was n't sure if he should give Kerry the Silver Star or court-martial him for his actions on February 28 , 1969 . The first intimation Malbihn had that he was not to carry out his design without further interruption was a heavy hand upon his shoulder . " He added that he was n't aware of any official investigation of the claims by law enforcement ( which does n't necessarily mean one did n't take place ) . And against his own best interests Pilate would have saved Jesus , as I would have , had it not been that no other than Jesus himself willed that he was not to be saved .