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With these resolutions in my thoughts , I set myself upon the scout as often as possible , and indeed so often that I was heartily tired of it ; for it was above a year and a half that I waited ; and for great part of that time went out to the west end , and to the south - west corner of the island almost every day , to look for canoes , but none appeared . With these resolutions in my thoughts , I set myself upon the scout as often as possible , and indeed so often , till I was heartily tired of it ; for it was above a year and half that I waited ; and for great part of that time went out to the west end , and to the south-west corner of the island , almost every day to see for canoes , but none appeared . I myself perceive that I sin ; but the necessity imposed by my frailty , which I am unable to resist , impels me . And thou art more to me than my kindred and than all that I have ; and lo , they are taking thee away from me ! A hint to enlighten me was all that I wanted ; and , as the irony of circumstances ordered it , my mother was the person who gave me the hint . I know it 's not he that I love ; but still I am happy with him , and he 's so nice .